A Christmas to Remember
by Jomel10
Summary: The Doctor joins Jackson Lake and his family for dinner but try as he might, he just can't fit in. He takes his leave but Jackson won't give up. Soon, both their separate pasts come back to haunt them... Violence/rape. Ten/Jackson. Ch. 25 up. Now rated M
1. Chapter 1

**Hi everyone. I hope you all had a lovely Christmas. **

**Here's my new fic for you all. I got the latest plot bunny after watching this year's Christmas Special. Better not read this if you haven't watched that yet as a. there are spoilers and b. it won't make a lot of sense! This is going to be a few parts long and there will be m/m slash in future chapters. If you don't like the idea of that, better give this one a miss.**

**Thanks to Rangergirl for checking this over for me. Cheers hon!**

**Okay then, hope you enjoy. Please remember to review! Comments are love :)**

**A Christmas To Remember**

**Part One**

The Doctor sat alone at a table, as usual, lost in his own thoughts.

He twirled an untouched glass of mead in his right hand, staring at the drink thoughtfully. The taste of the liquor was bitter to him, fitting in with his current mood. All he could hear from those around him was laughter and enjoyment but he could not get himself into the same celebratory mood, despite all he had accomplished that day.

He glanced over at his new found friends, sat in a small group across the room. He had made his apologies to them and had taken his leave of the happy group. He had fully planned to leave but for some reason had changed his mind, choosing instead to perch at an empty table and watch the happiness from afar. A happiness he knew he just couldn't share.

The Doctor looked over his smiling friends, glad to see them enjoying themselves. Their new lives together were just getting started. He had come to the inn with them, fully intending to have a good time but he could not feel part of their fun, no matter how hard he tried. It wasn't that he didn't want to join in, to laugh and socialise with them, but things just weren't that simple for him. He had once been part of such a group, back when things were so different for him. Back when he had Rose and her family and he had truly felt part of something special.

His tenth life had been so shiny and new in those days; he was an innocent, blissfully unaware of what he would eventually be facing. He had stupidly thought the worst was over, that he had been "healed" and life would now improve for him. But that had been a false hope. Images flashed across his mind. He saw Jack's pained and accusing face, accusations that he had never wanted to face and had tried so hard to ignore; he felt the Master in his arms as the only other Time Lord in existence faded away, leaving him alone once more; he saw Davros smirking up at him as the evil Dalek creator ripped him apart with his cruel words. Worst of all, he saw the fear in Donna's eyes as she stared at him, desperate and pleading as he had forcibly taken away everything that made her _her_.

No. As much as he tried, he couldn't be that wide-eyed wanderer anymore, traveling wherever he wanted. He could no longer see the universe through Rose-tinted glasses, thinking he could make everything alright with no consequences, no matter what his actions were. Losing Donna in such a cruel way had changed him forever. He had lost too much, been put through so much grief and turmoil that he couldn't go on the way he always had. Find someone new and just carry on each day, waiting for them to leave him. All he had wanted was peace and quiet and he had known that solitude would bring that about for him.

Or that had been his plan.

Of course, things never worked out for him the way he hoped they would. In no time at all, he had literally run into Jackson Lake and it was safe to say that the man had fascinated him.

The Doctor gazed at Jackson. The man was laughing heartily, one arm thrown around his son, Frederick, the other gently brushing the arm of Rosita, his new friend and companion. The Doctor, in a way, had brought this new family together. That's what he did, after all. He brought happiness to others, but couldn't seem to find much for himself. He smiled ruefully; maybe he would give Christmas a miss next year, hide away in the TARDIS until he knew it had passed safely by for another year.

_Safer for everyone, _he reasoned, silently.

It was hardly surprising that he had been drawn to Jackson Lake. The man had, after all, thought they were the same man! And the Doctor had for some time believed him, so intrigued he had been the moment he had met Jackson. In the end, Jackson had turned out to be human - an incredible human by any standard, but a human being nonetheless.

A man with a tragic secret.

So horrified had Jackson been by losing his wife, his brain had blocked everything out, including who he was. Instead, he had become the Doctor, thanks to some clever Dalek technology stolen by cybermen. Cybermen that had murdered his wife and carried away his son. The Doctor didn't blame Jackson for not being able to cope with the ordeal. In some ways, he had envied the man for being able to block out such a past.

His thoughts instantly turned again to Donna Noble and the Doctor cringed. No, memories were good. Memories made you who you were. To lose yourself would be a fate worse than death. A fate he had forced upon his closest friend.

He gazed back down at his glass, feeling his eyes filling with tears. He gave himself a shake; moping wasn't going to help anyone. He glanced once more at the family across the room. Rosita was hugging little Frederick close to her whilst Jackson stood behind the woman, his hands clasping her shoulders. A small smile spread across the Doctor's lips.

"I brought them together," he murmured. "I can still do some good."

And that was why he would carry on. He thought of his ship, his only home, waiting for him, ready to take him to his next destination, to the next terrified soul he would arrive just in time to save. And that was what made his existence worthwhile. And from now on, he would do it alone.

Finally bringing the glass of mead to his lips, he knocked the bitter drink down his throat in one swig and slammed the glass back down on the table. He gave his latest acquaintances one last unseen salute before heading for the door.

"Doctor."

He stopped dead, sighing as he turned around.

Jackson Lake stood a few feet away from him, a questioning look on his face. The Doctor noticed he was wearing his large coat, just as the Doctor was. The Time Lord gave the other man an apologetic smile, which Jackson did not return.

"Forgive me, but I thought you left a long time ago?"

"Sorry." The Doctor responded, his defensive routine instantly kicking into gear. "You know me Jackson. Places to go, people to see."

Jackson frowned. "As I told you earlier, Doctor, I don't believe any man truly knows you."

The Doctor chuckled, despite himself. "You're probably right about that. Best to keep some aces in the pack, you know?"

Jackson shook his head in defeat. "Come back and join us, Doctor. Please, I implore you. You shouldn't be on your own today. _It's Christmas_!"

"I need to keep on going, Jackson. There's so much still out there to see, for me to learn."

Jackson laughed. "You arrive, you change people's lives, mainly for the better and then rush off into the sunset. I know this, Doctor. I felt it. For some time, I was doing it. I was you!"

The Doctor looked down. "It's best that way. No more getting attached. No one gets hurt that way."

Jackson was thoughtful. "And you remain lonely."

The Doctor shrugged. "But I don't get hurt."

Jackson reached out and grasped the Doctor's arm. He was surprised to see the Doctor almost recoil from his touch.

"You keep telling yourself that, my friend."

The Doctor moved away. "Goodbye Jackson," he said quietly. "Your family are waiting for you."

Jackson glanced over his shoulder. Frederick and Rosita were both watching the two men closely, obviously confused.

After a moment, Lake returned his gaze to the Doctor. "I believe you need me more right now, Doctor. Perhaps more than you can admit. You forget, for a short time, I was you. I know how you think."

The Doctor smiled affectionately. "You really don't, you know."

"No?" Jackson replied, his face obstinate. "Why don't you _tell_ me, then?"

The Doctor stared incredulously at the stubborn man and then laughed softly, his fingers pulling at his ear.

"Oh Jackson, you're not going to let this go are you?"

"Indeed not."

"Oh, alright then. Your place or mine?"

Jackson chuckled. "As much as I find your home quite wondrous, Doctor; I don't think my poor head could cope with another visit so soon. Perhaps I could suggest somewhere different?"

The Doctor nodded.

Jackson clasped his hands together. "Good, good! My friend, come with me. A moment though, if you please..."

Lake spun round and signaled to Rosita for her to approach. She did so, though clearly unsure whether she should, not wanting to interrupt something important.

"Rosita, the good Doctor and myself will be taking our leave of you all for the evening. We have matters to discuss together, _privately_. I hope you understand?"

Rosita rolled her eyes. The Doctor watched her with admiration. He appreciated her feistiness and respect for Jackson. He wished he could take the chance and ask her to join him but he couldn't. How could he break up Jackson's new family? And risk both his and Rosita's happiness, her safety, her very life? He could not, would not take the risk. Not anymore.

Jackson had taken Rosita's hand and held it in both of his own. "Please, Rosita. Do this for me?"

"Oh, as you wish," she snapped, "I'll take the boy home and put ''im to bed. Don't be too late, mind! And listen you two, you watch yourselves!" With that, she turned her back on the two men and returned to Frederick's side, leaving Jackson and the Doctor to stare after her.

"As I said," the Doctor remarked. "Marvellous woman!"

Jackson nodded his agreement and then gestured towards the exit. The Doctor smiled and walked past him, out into the snow. Jackson caught him up and together, they hurried away, chatting merrily.

Neither man noticed a figure step out from a dark alley next to the inn, who watched them closely as they walked away. With a quick gesture into the shadows, the stranger followed behding Jackson and the Doctor, careful to remain hidden. He chuckled. He had waited so long.

It was going to be a very interesting evening.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

**Wow, this is a quick update for me! There's some slashiness in this chapter, that's man-on-man love. If that upsets you, better give this chapter a miss. Thanks to OperationBluesky for your fantastic review, this chapter is for you :) Cheers to anyone else reading, please leave a comment if you have time :) Feedback is really helpful for me!**

**Thanks again to my beta Rangergirl.**

**A Christmas to Remember **

**Part 2**

The Doctor and Jackson walked together, discussing important issues such as how long it was expected to snow for and Jackson's plan for he and his son into the New Year. The Doctor, as usual, didn't speak much about himself, preferring to listen to Jackson's excitement for his new life.

"Sounds like you've got everything planned out, Jackson. I envy you."

Lake chuckled. "Doctor, I'm making this all up as we walk. This morning, I believed myself to be a Time Lord from another planet. I understood my calling was to save the world from evil metal men! A day later and I find I am in fact very human, with a son who needs my protection. My life has started again, Doctor. I don't intend on ruining this chance."

"Good for you, Mr Lake."

Jackson coughed, running a hand through his hair, suddenly uncomfortable. The Doctor glanced across at him, concerned. Jackson smiled nervously.

"Of course, the more I remember of my life before you entered my head, the more I will learn about my life with my wife, with Caroline. I must say, I worry that the pain will become too terrible for me to manage..." He stopped, unable to continue. He turned his head away from the Doctor.

The Doctor frowned. He clasped the other man's shoulder. "Jackson, those memories are part of you. Don't fear them. You loved your wife and I'm sure she loved you. You were happy together. That's what you need to concentrate on. Your memories will make you complete."

Jackson looked into the Doctor's soulful eyes and smiled gratefully. "Thank you, my friend. You always seem to know what to say."

The Doctor chuckled. "Yeah," he said softly. They walked for some time in silence, Jackson contemplating the Doctor's words and the Doctor, his own thoughts turned to Donna. He wondered how she was, what she was doing at that moment. Laughing on the phone perhaps? Out with her friends? Or was she safe in her bed, dreaming of adventures that she knew were impossible, a child's fantasy? Did she dream of him and wake in the morning, unable to remember the incredible dream she had dreamt? He hoped so. Wherever she was, he hoped she was healthy and above all, happy. She deserved at least that.

"I wish you would talk to me more, Doctor. Tell me your thoughts. You talk all the time but say so little..."

A memory from a far off world came to the Doctor. Donna walking beside him, helping him come to terms with his new born daughter. Now, they were both gone.

The Doctor nodded at Jackson. "That's been said before."

Jackson smiled. Suddenly, with a cry of "Aha" he bounded forward and clasped his hands together. "Home, sweet home."

The Doctor looked up and grinned. They were back at the only home Jackson had known since that tragic night. His "temporary base." The Doctor found the small building quite cosy. With a gesture towards the same table they had earlier sat at while the Doctor revealed Jackson's secret past, Lake opened up one of the trunks filled with his belongings and pulled out a bottle, together with two cups. He held them up for the Doctor to see.

"I seem to be remembering more now!"

The Doctor winked at him. "That's great."

Jackson poured first the Doctor a drink and then one for himself. He sat down opposite the Time Lord and they touched their two cups together.

"Cheers, Doctor." The Doctor nodded in return and sipped the liquor. He knew alcohol did not affect him as it did humans, but the drink in this period was strong. He always liked to be in full control of his wits. And besides, he would be leaving soon.

Jackson, however, emptied his cup in one gulp and quickly poured himself another drink.

He regarded the Doctor closely, studying the way the Time Lord played with his drink. The Doctor always seemed so lost in thought. Jackson wanted to know more.

"Tell me about yourself," he asked, softly. The Doctor looked up, somewhat taken aback.

"I'm sorry?"

"Talk to me. Tell me about your life."

The Doctor shrugged. "You know more than most, Jackson. You were me, you saw all my lives. You already know plenty."

Jackson shook his head. "There is so much I don't know." He looked into the Doctor's eyes and shivered. There was so much pain and regret to be found there and now suddenly, uncertainty and fear.

"What are you afraid of, Doctor?"

The Doctor turned away, his eyes fixated on a clock behind him. He didn't want to have this conversation, he had always found it so difficult to talk about himself. Since the Time War, it had become harder than ever to open up. He closed his eyes. Jackson waited patiently.

When the Doctor opened his eyes again and smiled dumbly up at him, Jackson knew he had lost the battle.

"You should be heading home, Jackson."

"Doctor..."

"Frederick and Rosita need you, more than I do."

"I don't think that's true."

"I realise you are trying to help me, Jackson, and I appreciate it but you have your own life to live, you don't need to be burdened with my problems. You should go home now. Hang on, where are you three living now?"

He was speaking so fast, Jackson found it hard to keep up. He shook his head incredulously.

"Now?" he said, a touch of regret in his town. "The Reverend's old house. I know the house of a dead man is less than ideal but it's somewhere to live until I sort out alternative lodgings for us all. It's not healthy but it will do for now. It will have too."

The Doctors nodded.

"And that money you had," he glanced around, "moved to your new home, I'm assuming."

"Yes. I'm sure we will all be fine and dandy!"

Again, there was silence as both men mused on their feelings.

Jackson frowned, he didn't want to let this go.

"I know it is rare for you to stay in one place long enough to find out what becomes of those you saved. Is that why you rush off, sometimes before even saying goodbye? Never thanked?"

The Doctor shrugged. "I prefer to keep things simple, as you are well aware."

Jackson picked up his cup. "Even when I was you, I felt that such an existence was depressing. I know you feel the same way, Doctor. Maybe that's why my mind took on your persona. You live with no responsibilities, you have no regrets."

A hard look flashed across the Doctor's face. "I have regrets, Jackson."

Jackson held up his hand. "Then tell me about them. Open up to me."

The Doctor frowned. He had heard enough. He drunk quickly and then stood up, pushing his stool back. "I think it's time for me to be off now, Mr Lake. Thank you for dinner and this drink. Very kind of you."

Jackson's eyes widened. "For such a brave man, I didn't expect you to run so easily."

The Doctor glared at him. "I'm happier this way."

Jackson stares at him. "Really, my friend?" The Doctor drew back, unsure. Jackson edged nearer. "Well, I learnt some tricks whilst I was you."

He stood abruptly, now nose to nose with the Doctor. Before the Time Lord could object, Jackson brought his hand up and grasped the other's face, just as he had done previously, before he had even found out the truth about himself. The last time he had been this close to the Doctor, a feeling had swelled within him. It had been incredible, as if their minds had actually touched. He wanted to feel that again and amazingly, he knew what he had to do.

Taking the Doctor by complete surprise, he joined with him. The Time Lord pulled back in shock but Jackson clung on. He was stunned that the Doctor didn't try to stop him seeing, as images appeared in his mind, one after the other. He saw a blond girl with long hair with eyes wide with awe, he saw another golden haired girl, holding the Doctor's hand. He felt pain deep inside as another vision of her flashed before him, this time kissing a man that looked exactly like the Doctor. He felt the Doctor's loneliness as he watched a small black girl, was it Rosita? No, not Rosita. She was dressed strangely. She walked away with two men; they were very much together and the Doctor was not part of that. Finally, he saw a woman with fiery red hair, begging the Doctor not to take her memory and the woman falling forward into the Time Lord's arms. He knew she was gone, finished. And the Doctor himself had been forced to do that.

"_Enough_."

The Doctor closed his mind, pushing Jackson away. The connection was broken instantly. Jackson recoiled in shock, speechless as the Doctor watched him.

"It's rude to enter a person's mind without permission, you know."

Jackson swallowed hard. "My apologies." His head ached from all he had just seen. He hadn't wanted to hurt the Doctor, he'd just wanted the other man to be truthful with him, to share. "Please Doctor, who were those people?"

The Doctor was puzzled, but then nodded in understanding. "Of course, those events happened after that info stamp was cataloged by the daleks. They were my friends, the latest companions. You watched as they all left me."

Jackson swallowed hard. "That woman with the red hair..."

"Donna."

"Yes, Donna. You did something to her..."

"Oh yes. I killed her. I destroyed everything special about her and believe me, she was magnificent. My best friend. I miss her."

Jackson was silent for a few moments. "I'm sorry I pried, I just wanted..."

"To know more about me. Well, now you do. And that's why I am this way, Jackson." The Doctor sighed. "This is why I want to be alone. After Donna, I can't face that loss, that pain anymore. It's better this way, for everyone involved."

The Doctor begins to walk away, hands deep in his pockets.

Jackson recovered quickly, rushing after his friend. He felt terrible. "Please. I'm sorry, I didn't realise."

"I know, Jackson. No harm done." He kept walking.

Jackson took hold of the Doctor's arm, pulling him back. "Don't go. You don't have to be alone. Stay here. In London, in 1851. Stay with me."

"I don't belong in this time. I don't belong in any time."

"Yes, you do." He gripped both of the Doctor's arms and turned him around, forcing the Time Lord to face him. Jackson was surprised to see tears forming in the Doctor's eyes. The human wiped the tear gently away and pulled the Doctor forward, hugging him tightly. After a beat, the Doctor returned the embrace, resting his head on Jackson's shoulder, enjoying the comfort.

A peculiar feeling came over Jackson. He felt strange and lightheaded and pulled away, breathing heavily. He looking straight into the large, sad eyes of the Time Lord and brought both his hands up to hold the Doctor's face. Stunning himself as well as the Doctor, Jackson leant in, bringing his lips to meet the Doctor's. They connected, kissing gently. After a moment, the Doctor stopped and backed away, shocked at his actions.

"I'm sorry, " he stammered. "I'm-I'm going to have to go..."

Jackson put a hand against the Doctor's chest, halting him. He kissed him again, this time more passionately. The Doctor was surprised to find himself returning the kiss. Confused by his feelings, the Doctor again moved his head, breaking the kiss. He actually felt more connected to this human than he had done with anyone since the Master died. He quivers as Jackson holds his head tightly in one hand, holding him still. He kisses him again and this time, the Doctor couldn't pull away. Finally, he gave in. This was _emotion_ and it was what he wanted, what he needed. To feel something, _anything_. He kissed Jackson back and he enjoyed it, sighing contently into the other's mouth. The human meanwhile, was just as puzzled by this strange turn of events as the Doctor was. He remembered his love for Caroline and could recollect her touch and her sweet kisses but something deep inside him told him that he had never before kissed a man. The Doctor though, he was different and Jackson wanted him, wanted to know everything about him. He was more than just a man, he was a miracle. Jackson could not have stopped now even if he had wanted too.

With a moan of pleasure, the Doctor leant back. "I don't know. Jackson, wait, I'm not sure we should. I've never..." His voice trailed off.

Jackson smiled at him. "This is new for me too."

The Doctor glanced over his shoulder. If anyone were to come in on them, on two men, in this time…

"Jackson, we shouldn't do this, it's not safe..."

Jackson was beyond caring. He wanted the Doctor. He pushed him back, until the Doctor's back collided with a wall. Jackson took hold of the Doctor's wrists and held them high above their heads, keeping the Doctor still. The Doctor closed his eyes and bowed his head, enjoying another man taking control. In that moment, he realised that Jackson understood him completely, he wanted the Doctor to feel something too.

"You are not alone, Doctor."

Jackson began to touch the Doctor up and down his chest, pushing away his clothes, kissing and sucking. The Doctor gasped, scared by the reactions his body was giving. It had been so long since he had been touched like this, so long since he had surrendered so completely. He didn't know what was happening but he knew that he liked it, wanted it. Jackson's own moans got louder as his hand moved lower until he reached the Doctor's trousers and began to undo his belt. The Doctor felt faint, knew he was in the other man's power but he wasn't afraid. Something deep inside him wondered whether this had gone to far. Should he stop it before it was too late?

Suddenly, an unknown voice boomed out, interrupting his thoughts.

"Well, well. Mr Lake! How _very_ unexpected of you!"

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay, here's ANOTHER super fast update for you! Don't get used to it, though! There is some violence in this chapter.**

**Thanks very much to:**

**OperationBluesky: Here;'s some more :) And you're welcome! I reckon I'm gonna look forward to your reviews :) Hope you like this chapter!**

**Wildtazz2go: Thank , the Doctor is very conflicted and really interesting. That's why he's such a great character to write and plus there's so much back story :) Hope this chapter doesn't disappoint :)**

**Templa Otmena: Thanks so much, hope you like this update!**

**Anyone else out there reading – Thank you. Please drop me a review if you've got the time, I love to know what people think! Also – thanks to my beta CSG1 for the great job she did on this chapter. And at short notice. Thanks hon :)**

**Okay – carrying on then:**

**A Christmas to Remember**

**Part 3**

The Doctor and Jackson sprang apart at the sound of the man's voice. They turned to stare at the newcomer, both of them breathing hard, their faces betraying both their fear and guilt. The man stood, arms behind his back, leering at them. Jackson Lake took a nervous step back, though the Doctor remained unmoved.

The Doctor glanced at his companion.

"Jackson, is this gentlemen a friend of yours?" he whispered.

Jackson shook his head. "I don't know who this is."

The man laughed at that. "Well, I'd better introduce myself then. Mr Benjamin Saunders, at your service." He bowed. "Recognise me now, Jackson?"

Lake was at a loss for words and clearly unnerved by the situation. Seeing this, the Doctor moved in front of him, taking control.

"Hello." He smiled warmly. "I'm the Doctor."

Saunders eyed him. "A Doctor? Really?" His eyes met Lake's. "Fallen on hard times, have you?"

The Doctor looked grimly at the sneering man, his smile fading.

Benjamin Saunders looked formidable; he was youngish, with greasy black hair and small piggy eyes. His clothes were smart and he certainly appeared to have learnt some manners despite his aggressive behaviour. As he looked from the Doctor to Jackson, his face seemed to be permanently stuck in a sneer.

Saunders began to pace before them. The Doctor wondered if they could get past him, perhaps at least getting Jackson to safety but his senses warned him against making his move. He resisted the instinct to run, choosing instead to give his friend an encouraging nod. They would be okay.

Benjamin began, finally breaking the silence. "What exactly did I walk in on here?" His tone was low and dangerous. "I took you as a God fearing man, Mr Lake."

Neither the Doctor nor Jackson deemed this remark worthy of a reply.

Saunders chuckled. "I also have to say, Mr Lake, considering all the trouble you went to in order to steal away your wife from us, I'm disappointed that you felt you needed to gain satisfaction elsewhere!"

Lake looked up abruptly at the slur on his wife. He went to shove past the Doctor but the Time Lord interrupted him, swiftly cutting him off.

"Okay. I'm assuming you want something?" the Doctor snapped.

Saunders stopped pacing. He eyed the Doctor. "You could say that." He walked slowly towards Jackson, nudging the Doctor out of the way and not stopping until he was directly in front of his intended quarry. "I've been looking for you and Caroline for a long time, Jackson."

"Who are you?" Lake asked nervously.

Saunders smiled. "Very amusing," he replied; then leant in closer. "Where is my money, Mr Lake?"

Jackson froze. He glanced at the Doctor, shaking his head incredulously.

"What are you talking about?"

The Doctor frowned.

"This man owes you money?" he enquired. Saunders ignored him, now far more concerned with Jackson.

"As you well know, you owe my family a hundred pounds, Mr Lake. It's time for you to pay your debt."

Lake coughed. "One hundred pounds! Sir, are you mad?"

Saunders face broke out into an evil grin, though he did not reply.

Jackson shrugged uselessly. "I don't have that kind of money," he exclaimed, incredulous.

Saunders raises his eyebrows. "No? Oh dear. What shall we do about that then?"

Without warning, Saunders struck Jackson hard across the face, taking him by surprise and knocking him to the floor with the force of the blow. The Doctor, now annoyed, marched forward, planning to restrain the thug but was surprised to find he was the one held back. Glancing over both his shoulders, he found that two men had appeared and were gripping his arms painfully. Next thing he knew, he was being forced to his knees, unable to fight back . His eyes met Jackson's, who was still on he ground. The man's face was red with fury upon seeing the Doctor's rough treatment. He struggled to his feet angrily.

"Stop," Jackson yelled. "Unhand him at once!"

Saunders only smiled cruelly at Jackson's concern and nodded to his friends. The Doctor, who had been struggling in vain against his captors, hissed in pain as his hair was grabbed and his head forced back. A knife was then placed against his throat, drawing blood. The Time Lord stared up into the eyes of his tormentors and saw no pity. To his annoyance and considerable despair, the Doctor realised he was completely helpless. Jackson, aiming to stop this nightmare any way he could, stormed towards Jackson, his fist raised. With a smirk, Saunders pulled out a pistol and aimed it straight at Lake's head. Jackson skidded to a halt, staring at the gun in horror. How had a peaceful Christmas evening descended into this madness? And somehow he knew, though he could not recollect this man at all, that this was all his own fault.

"Why don't we all calm down?" Saunders snarled.

"Tell them to let him go. He's not a part of this," Jackson retorted, his eyes darting worriedly towards the Doctor.

"First things first, old friend." He dropped his false smile and bared his teeth. "Perhaps you could tell me where my sister is?"

Jackson was stunned. Again, he glanced to the Doctor but there was no help to be had there. He shook his head, trying to find the words. He knew that any wrong move could spell disaster.

Saunder's patience had expired. His finger tightened on the trigger.

"I asked you a question."

"Your sister?" Jackson stammered, sweating.

"Do you think this is a game, _Mister_ Lake?" He rested the gun against Jackson's forehead causing the man to whimper. "_Caroline_, you bastard. My little sister. The girl you stole away! Any of this coming back to you?"

Jackson gasped. He was in shock. "Caroline was your sister?"

"WHERE IS SHE?"

"Dead!" Jackson sobbed. "She's dead. Please, I really do not remember who you or your men are or what it is you want. Please, just leave us in peace!"

As he had spoken, Saunder's face had drained of blood. He was staring at Lake in utter disbelief. Slowly and carefully, he lowered the gun.

"Is this true? My sister is dead?"

Jackson swallowed. "How could she be your sister?"

Saunders, furious and devastated, turned and punched his fist into a nearby wall, causing Jackson to flinch. "Stop playing these games with me!" he spat.

"Leave him alone," the Doctor ordered, having heard enough. "He's not lying, nor is he pretending. He doesn't remember you. He hardly remembers his own wife."

"You stay out of this," Saunders threw at the Doctor and the knife at his throat cut deeper into his skin. The Doctor flinched, taking the hint.

"This is family business." Saunders grabbed Jackson by his lapels and pulled him in closer. Glaring at the trembling man with hatred, he spat in his eye.

"You split up my family, you son of a whore and then you let my sister die? Why didn't you protect her? Why didn't you give up your own pointless life for hers? TELL ME!"

He released Jackson and shoved him back. He turned away, rubbing angrily at his eyes. The Doctor and Jackson took the chance to exchange frightened glances. Neither of them could see a way out of this. When Saunders spoke again, he once more addressed Jackson, his voice dangerously soft.

"Are you going to drop this pretence that you do not know me, Jackson?"

"It's not pretence. I swear it."

"Then answer me this. How did Caroline die? Or have you forgotten that too?"

"She was murdered." Jackson's eyes were fixated on the floor. He had not even accepted himself entirely what had happened that night, he didn't want to discuss it with this cruel man. The Doctor saw this and his hearts went out to his friend. His cursed his own helplessness, that he could do nothing to help or protect the other man.

Saunders continued the questioning. "Who killed her?"

Jackson hesitated. "They're all dead now."

Saunders nodded. "Then my family has been avenged. That is satisfactory. Our honour is in place."

Jackson was stunned at his words. "Your family's honour? Is that your one and only concern? But Caroline..."

Saunders moved closer. "My family's honour, Mr Lake, is all that I live for. To please my father. Your little trollop almost killed him when she ran away with you, against his wishes. I came here to see you pay your debt and then to have the pleasure of dragging that witch back to her father to beg for his forgiveness. Now, that chance seems to have passed me by, so the money will have to do." A cruel thought seemed to hit him and he grinned evilly. "Or, if the stories that got back to us are true, perhaps I can take her son back in her place. Frederick isn't it?"

Jackson took an unsteady step back, his eyes wide in horror. The Doctor struggled against the vice-like grip holding him but it was pointless.

"You... you stay away from my son. He's _my_ son. He's all I have left." Tears flowed down Jackson's face. "Do you hear me, you villain?"

Saunders held the gun up again and waved it warningly at Jackson. "Steady, brother in law, steady. I want what belongs to my family by blood!" And with that, he struck Jackson with the pistol across the head, causing Lake to cry out in pain and fall once more to the ground. Blood oozed from his wound as he lay there, dazed and barely conscious.

"Surely this violence isn't necessary!" the Doctor snapped. He couldn't sit and do nothing any longer. "I'm sure that if we all sat down and discussed this problem like civilised adults, we could all bring this nasty business to a satisfactory conclusion. No one needs to get hurt again."

Saunders turned around, leaving Jackson crumpled at his feet. He walked slowly towards the Time Lord, watching him intently. He was surprised by how calm the Doctor looked and sounded, even with a knife at his throat. He nodded to his men and the Doctor was released. He fell forward, landing on the ground face first with a grunt. Saunders smiled back over at Lake.

"A good replacement for our poor Caroline, was he Jackson?"

Jackson stared up, still weak from the blow that could have killed him. His eyes narrowed when he saw Saunders standing over the Doctor. "Leave him alone. Don't you dare touch him."

Saunders laughed. "So, why is he so special?" He tugged at the Doctor's hair, forcing him to look at him. He studied his face, leant in close and sniffed him. The Doctor stayed perfectly still. He knew this was a battle of wills and he didn't intend to lose. "Nice," Saunders purred. "Very nice." He looked back over at Jackson. "You are right. There is something fascinating about him."

Releasing the Doctor and stepping back, Saunders let out a low chuckle before once again gesturing to his helpers. With shouts of glee, they both set about the Doctor, hitting him, cutting him, kicking him.

Jackson yelled in outrage and threw himself towards Saunders, despite his own injuries.

"Stop this, please! I'll get you your damned money. Just stop hurting him!"

"And the boy?"

Tears streamed down Jackson's face. He looked on in despair as the frenzied attack continued.

He had to agree. "Yes, Frederick too. Now, stop them!"

"That's enough boys!" The men halted abruptly, panting happily. The Doctor lay at their feet, his breathing laboured. He was bloodied and bruised and was staring at Jackson with dismay. Before they could try and stop him, Jackson scrambled over to the Doctor and reached out to him, touching his face, hoping to comfort him.

"I'm so sorry," Jackson mouthed. The Doctor shook his head. "Not your fault," he whimpered. His whole body ached from the beating.

Not caring that he was being watched by three cold hearted, murderous brutes, Jackson surged forward and kissed the Doctor's bruised lips gently. The Doctor smiled when Jackson pulled back. As he felt himself being forced away from Jackson once more, the Doctor hissed in his ear, "I've changed my mind, Jackson Lake. I want to stay here with you."

Jackson stared. "Really? In 1851?"

"Really. Right here. With you."

Jackson couldn't help it. He returned the Doctor's grin.

As the pain became too much, the Doctor's smile was wiped from his face and he moaned in anguish as he was once again forced into a kneeling position. However, this time his arms were pulled behind him even more tightly and tied by thick ropes.

So, now he was a prisoner.

"What are you doing?" Jackson demanded. "This is between you and me, Saunders. Set him free!"

Saunders leered. "Think of him as a guarantee on our agreement, Mr Lake. You have an hour. Bring me my money and the boy, and I will then set him free. Fail me or go and find a policeman and I'll blow his brains out. Do you understand?"

"Your argument is clearly with me!" Jackson tried again desperately. He couldn't think straight.

"This makes a change, actually," the Doctor muttered. "I'm the damsel in distress." He smiled at Jackson. "I guess I really am your companion, _Doctor_."

Their eyes met. Lake understood. It was up to him to save the day now.

Jackson glared at Saunders.

"You promise not to harm him again?"

"Well, that is difficult to answer. My boys here, they may get somewhat bored. Best you hurry along, Mister Lake. You are wasting time."

Jackson had no choice. With one last regretful look at the Doctor, he rushed out of the doorway and into the night.

Saunders let out a long sigh. He sauntered over to the Doctor, leaning against a table.

"Well, we have an hour to wait then, _Doctor_. How do you suggest you and I pass the time?"

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

**Happy New Year everyone!**

**Okay, last update for a few days then! Hope you enjoy it. There is some more nasty violence in this chapter, plus implied non-con. Nothing to graphic to worry about though. Poor Doctor! I am cruel :) Don't worry, there's plenty of comfort to come! ;)**

**Thanks to wildtaz2go (hope you enjoy this chapter), OperationBlueSky (hehe, another awesome review! Love ya!) and xxtifftiffxx (Thanks for commenting, hope you like this update) for leaving reviews. You guys are great! Also, thanks to everyone reading! Hope you are enjoying it ******

**Right then – on we go!**

**Part 4**

Jackson ran through the snow, wiping away the tears that impaired his vision as he ran. He hated himself for crying, hated himself for being so weak. He could not let the Doctor down.

He thought of the Time Lord's kind face, smiling at him, trusting him as Jackson took possession of his body. He knew that nobody had touched the Doctor in such a way for a long, long time. He felt honoured. He owed the Doctor so much. The whole city owed him their lives!

Jackson's heart soared as he recalled the Doctor's words: "_I've changed my mind. I'll stay_." He was going to remain with him, in one time and place. He knew what a sacrifice this was for the Time Lord, to give up his travelling, but he had still chosen to be with him. The Doctor wanted _him_. And there was no way Jackson was going to let this Saunders take him away now. Not while Jackson Lake was alive to stop him anyway!

Finally, Jackson was relieved to see his new home in the distance. He speeded up, at last feeling some kind of hope. Perhaps he did have the money. Rosita would know. Yes, Rosita was sensible; she would know what to do for the best...

He charged up the path, screaming her name as soon as he saw the front door.

"Rosita! ROSITA!"

As he got to the door, it opened and a very annoyed Rosita appeared before him.

"What is going on? Where have you been?" Hands on hips, she glared at him. "Oh, I just knew you two would walk into trouble. That's what you get for leaving me behind!"

Jackson couldn't stop himself, he fell against her and she held him, stunned into silence.

Her anger was replaced by concern as she got a closer look at him. She frowned when, stroking his hair, she noticed the dried blood. Jackson flinched as her finger touched his wound. He couldn't look her in the eye.

"Sir, what's wrong? Did someone hurt you?" When he didn't respond, she tried again, more urgently. "Mr Lake, where is the Doctor?"

She was even more worried when Jackson hid his face away and let out a loud sob.

"Is something up?" Jed had arrived beside Rosita, sneakily placing his arm around her but she shrugged him away with a frown. Quickly, she turned her attention back to Jackson.

"Mr Lake, please tell me what happened to you?"

"You have to help me, both of you!" He grabbed for her hand. "He's going to kill the Doctor!"

Rosita drew back. "Who is? Who are you talking about?"

Jackson shook his head desperately. "No time, We do not have a lot of time left. How much money do we have in the house, Rosita?"

"_What?!"_

"How much money?"

"I don't know, sir. We've been spending it for weeks."

He looked up hopefully. "Do we have one hundred pounds?"

Jed coughed, his eyes wide. Rosita was astounded.

"I don't think you ever had that much, sir."

Jackson closed his eyes and leaned against the door for support. "Then I've failed him," he whimpered. "He'll die."

"Sir," Rosita tried again. "Tell me who this man is."

Jackson threw up his hands in surrender.

"His name is Benjamin Saunders and he claims to be my brother-in-law."

Rosita stared. "Is he?"

"How should I know, woman?" Jackson exclaimed. "I don't remember a thing!"

She looked away, embarrassed. Jed frowned at the trembling Jackson, who was already regretting his harsh words.

"Forgive me, Rosita," he whispered. "I'm just so frightened."

Rosita have him a small smile and stepped closer to him, wanting to offer comfort. "I know you are, sir." She touched him arm affectionately. "Go on. This Saunders, what does he want?"

"He says I owe him one hundred pounds. He told me his father sold my wife to me. Have you ever heard anything so disgraceful? Upon my soul, Rosita, this man is a brute. He wants me to give up my son to him, my little Freddie! Oh, I should never have left the Doctor there." He covered his face with his hands.

Jed stepped forward. "Mister Lake, Sir. I do not know too much about all these goings on but I know you and I 'av seen the Doctor at work. You are a brave man, Mr Lake and so is 'e. He can look after himself, make no mistake!"

Jackson looked up sharply, his eyes blazing. "If he shoots him, Jed, he wouldn't just die, like you and I would. He will change. The man you know as the Doctor will die and another man will be born in his place. We will have to help him through what would be a horrendous ordeal for him as he tries to remember who he is. Stuck here in 1851. If anyone saw this change apart from us, he would be declared a witch!" He turned to Rosita, his tone pleading. "I can not let that all happen to him because of me Rosita. It must not. He saved me. He saved my son. Don't you understand? I have to help him!"

Rosita glowered at Jed and tried to grab a hold of Jackson, desperately trying to calm him.

"Sir, I know, sir, listen to me. We will save the Doctor, you'll see. I have faith."

Jackson chuckled. "Oh yes, in what?"

"In you."

Jackson was stunned. He shook his head slowly.

Rosita nodded to him encouragingly. "You'll think of something."

Jackson frowned. "I am not the Doctor, Rosita."

Her face was resolute. "No, you are not. You are Jackson Lake. The Doctor tried to make you see, everything you did as him, you are capable of that too. You."

He swallowed hard. After a moment, he returned her smile gratefully. He went to give her a hug but was stopped in his tracks by the sound of a soft female voice whispering in the wind:

"_Jackson Lake"_

He froze, horrified, looking around for the source.

"_Jackson Lake, come to me."_

"What was that?" he hissed.

"You heard me," Rosita said, rolling her eyes.

"No, I mean, that voice," he whispered urgently.

"_Come to me."_

He jumped. "There it is again!"

Rosita and Jed exchanged glances.

"Erm, Mr Lake. Maybe you should sit down?" John whispered.

Jackson shook his head furiously.

"No, no it is trying to help us. I recognise it, for some strange reason..."

He clasped his hands together.

"OF COURSE!"

His two friends could only stare dumbly at him. He grinned madly back at them

"Don't you see?" he said excitedly. "She is attempting to help us!"

"Who?" Rosita said, completely at a loss.

"No time to explain. I must go. Please Rosita, look after Frederick." He glanced inside the house and saw his son, sitting on the floor, watching him. His large eyes were big and scared. Jackson swept inside and lifted his son into his arms. He kissed him adoringly before putting him down again. "I'll never let him have you," he whispered to his son before running back out of the house.

As he rushed past Rosita and Jed, Jackson called to them, "Stay here, you two; I will return!"

And with that, he was gone.

Rosita hesitated for a moment. "You are not ordering me about anymore!"

She kissed Jed on the cheek. "Be a love and stay with the boy, thanks Jed. I have to look after him. As he said, the Doctor needs a companion and I'm his. I have to go with him. Don't worry. Bye."

She hitched up her dress and ran after Jackson, following the direction he ran off in, only praying that she caught him up.

Jed watched her disappear into the night, a look of dismay on his face. He wanted to call out after her, to stop her, but what would be the point? He looked back at Frederick, still perched on the floor watching the comings and goings with interest.

"Quite a night, eh, Freddie?" Jed said to him. "Just you and me then!"

Shivering from the cold and still concerned for his friends, Jed pulled the door closed behind him.

XXX

Benjamin Saunders glanced at the clock across the room. It had only been ten minutes since Lake had departed and he was already feeling restless. His eyes returned to his hostage, who was now slumped down, leaning his back against a wall. His eyes were closed, as if he were asleep. Saunders found himself drawn to the man, though he did not know why. There was something otherworldly about this person.

Saunders crossed the room quickly and sat down beside the Doctor.

"So, friend, are you going to tell me your real name?"

His prisoner opened his eyes and regarded him with dislike. "As I told you earlier, I am the Doctor."

Saunders flushed; he wasn't used to being spoken to in such a way. Clenching his fists, he retorted; "That is a title, not a name."

The Doctor shrugged. "Well, it's all I have. Sorry it doesn't satisfy you."

Still taking offence at his tone, Saunders slapped the Doctor hard across the face. The Doctor let out a sigh, turned his head and eyed Saunders with annoyance. "Sorry, did I say the wrong thing?"

Saunders raised his hand again and was disappointed that the Doctor did not flinch. He leaned in close. "You think he'll save you, don't you?"

"I trust him," the Doctor snapped.

"Ah. But are you worth one hundred pounds, Doctor-with-no-name?"

The Doctor said nothing.

Saunders laughed. "I guess we will find out soon enough."

He stood again. The Doctor watched him.

"You're not from London," the Time Lord muttered, his curiosity, as usual, getting the better of him.

Saunders looked down at him. "No," he replied, "I am from Gloucester, as is your friend Mr Lake." The Doctor nodded. So, he had been right about Jackson and Caroline travelling to London. Probably to escape her horrible family. The Doctor watched as Saunders moved to the table Jackson and the Doctor had been sat at earlier and was happily pouring himself a drink. He glanced back over at the Doctor. "We found them living like pigs in the North. That stupid fool actually believed he could hide in London after stealing my sister and not be caught!"

"And how exactly did Jackson Lake steal your sister, Mr Saunders?"

Saunders blinked. He swallowed his drink down in one gulp. "My family are wealthy people, Doctor. Caroline was the fairest of my sisters, we hoped for a good match for her. Then she met Lake, a simple son of a butcher! HAH! Father understandably refused the match when he had the nerve to ask him for her hand! But instead of accepting she was above him, he took her and they ran away together. We found them and my father kindly agreed to sell Caroline to Lake for exactly one hundred pounds. I am here to collect the debt."

"So, you mean they fell in love."

"Love?" Saunders snorted. "Love is for delusional fools!"

The Doctor was dumbfounded. "Your father could actually sell his own daughter?"

"A good price for such a whore."

The Doctor could not believe what he was hearing. He could feel righteous fury building up inside of him.

"She died, so there is no debt now."

Saunders shook his head. "Nothing has changed in my view. My sister was good enough to give us a child before she died, he belongs with his family.

"He belongs with his father."

Saunders slammed his fist down on the table. "His worthless father has no right to bring him up! He owes us that money and I will collect it. It is a matter of honour, Doctor." He looked into the Doctor's furious face. "But perhaps that word means nothing to the likes of you!"

The Doctor raised his eyebrow at the insult but chose to ignore it. He tried one last attempt to talk sense into this horrible man. "Why don't you just go home? Mourn your sister as a family and let Jackson put his life back together."

Saunders frowned. "My father is dying, the humiliation proved too much for his weak heart. I respect my father, Doctor. I want him to know that Jackson Lake paid us for Caroline and gave up his son to us before he leaves this Earth. Father will be satisfied and we can put this whole matter behind us and move forward. The name Jackson Lake will be forgotten."

The Doctor glared. "Forgotten? Are you going to kill him?"

Saunders didn't reply. He instead poured himself another drink and flashed the Doctor a toothy grin.

The Doctor eyed him with hatred. He was trembling with anger. "You heartless, stupid ape."

Saunders froze. He looked up, his grin fading. "Excuse me?"

"What gives you the right to destroy a decent man's life?"

Saunders was perplexed. "I give myself the right, friend. I do what I have to, to restore pride for my family."

The Doctor stared at Saunders. He could not fathom out this conversation. How could this human being be so cold, so cruel? At that moment, the Doctor was almost glad he was restrained; the Oncoming Storm was threatening to unleash and the Doctor knew that that could not happen. He had to keep control.

The Time Lord stared calmly at Saunders. "When Jackson comes back," he said quietly, "you take your money and you go. Just leave here. Let Jackson and his son be, Saunders."

Saunders spun round, stepping closer to the Doctor. "You dare to threaten me? To sit there and preach at me after what I walked in on today? You are sullied, sir! You _dare_ to talk to me like this?"

"Oh yes, I dare."

Saunders paled. He looked about ready to kill. "Then go on Doctor," he taunted. "If I don't do as you ask, what exactly will happen?"

A beat passed before the Doctor, his voice controlled, replied;

"I will stop you."

Saunders was utterly stunned. He glared down at his captive. His men standing close by whispered to one another, clearly unnerved by the Doctor's calm manner.

Suddenly, Saunders flew at the Time Lord. He grabbed the Doctor by the hair and dragged him away from the wall, throwing him painfully to the floor.

"Strip him," Saunders demanded and after a moment's hesitation, his friends hurried to obey.

Saunders watched silently as the Doctor's shirt and jacket were torn off of him and thrown to the floor in a heap, leaving his back unprotected. Benjamin then ordered his allies to hold the Doctor still, rendering him helpless. They did so, pinning the Time Lord to the ground and then looking up at their master expectantly, waiting for his next instructions.

Saunders, teeth clenched, came forward again. He held his belt loosely in one hand.

"Doctor," he began, his voice low and cold as he began to swing the belt up and down, teasing the Doctor cruelly. "Do you know what my father does to his servants that disobey him?"

The Doctor didn't reply. Saunders didn't seem to care.

"He teaches them respect, Doctor." He raised the belt high above his head. "And now you're going to learn some from me."

With a cruel grin to his companions, Saunders prepared to swing the belt down. Suddenly, without warning, all three of the cruel men were picked up and thrown clear of the Doctor by an invisible force. Saunders collided with the far wall and fell back to the ground, moaning in shock. His fellows were already picking themselves up from where they had landed and all three were now watching the Doctor with both amazement and fear.

"Witchcraft. Mr Saunders! This is sorcery! We have to flee, please!" one of the men hissed, beyond terrified.

The Doctor, meanwhile, was trying to control his breathing. He hadn't used his telepathic defences for such a long time, the strain of it was showing. His head and limbs ached from the pressure. He looked up as Saunders approached him again, this time with caution. The Doctor quickly used his power again, this time only stopped Saunders from coming any closer. The Time Lord knew he was getting weaker. Saunders watched him closely. He had no idea what was happening but he had a fair idea on the cause.

"Whatever you are doing, stop it now," he said simply. "Or would you rather I took my anger out on Jackson or little Frederick?"

The Doctor felt sick. How could any man give such a threat against a child? What choice did he have? He closed his eyes and the force field around him disappeared, freeing his enemies from their restraints. Saunders stepped forward tentatively and when he realised the pain was gone, his cruel gaze fixated on the Doctor.

"Get him!" he snapped to his men and, courage returning, they rushed forward. They kicked out at the defenceless Doctor for good measure before once again holding him still.

"Enough!"

Saunders placed himself behind the Doctor as before, arm raised. He grinned widely, exhilarated by the pain he was about to inflict. His arm swung down and the belt connected with the Doctor's bare back, leaving a nasty red mark. The Doctor made no sound nor did he flinch as the belt struck him repeatedly. Saunders was breathing hard; tired by the effort he was putting into his victim's torture.

The Doctor was whipped mercilessly, until his back was covered in angry red welts. His eyes were closed but he did not scream or move once. He would not give this human the satisfaction.

Finally, Saunders relented. Pausing for breath, he looked down and smiled at the damage he had inflicted. The Doctor, now released, was lying very still, too anguished to move but he refused to show any weakness to his tormentor. Very slowly, he forced his beaten body into a kneeling position and looked up into the smirking face of Saunders. Benjamin looked into those soulful eyes and he swallowed. There was no fear there, only anger.

Saunders glanced at the clock. They still had thirty minutes remaining.

He once more walked towards the Doctor, this time standing directly over his stubborn victim. He crouched down, watching the Time Lord closely. He was impressed to see that the Doctor did not even recoil away from him.

"You are a remarkable man, do you know that?" Saunders asked him, with a smile.

The Doctor stared straight ahead, still not able to respond. It was taking all of his concentration to control the agonising pain which was sweeping up and down his body in waves. It was torturous for him but he could not, would not, show how much he was suffering. He could stand this pain for Jackson. He had too.

Saunders was watching the Doctor thoughtfully.

"I wonder, what would it take to make you scream?"

Next, the hated man stooped and pulled down the Doctor's trousers. The Time Lord inclined his head, looking up at his foe in confusion. He was in so much pain now that even if he wasn't tied up, he didn't think he could put up much of a fight. Plus, there was the threat against Jackson and Frederick hanging over his head. He let out a big sigh and prepared himself. He would see this through for them, whatever it took.

Saunders was beaming at him. He had once again positioned himself behind the thin man. The bullish man had by now pulled down his own trousers, eager to enjoy his victory. He licked his lips, hungrily.

He grabbed at the Doctor, pulling him closer.

"Let's find out, shall we?"

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

**Hi again all! This time this really will be the last update for a few days! I've got a very busy weekend coming up and have no time to write :( I should have updated by the middle of the week though! Only warnings for this chapter is that there are mentions of a nasty noncon but there is nothing too graphic to worry about. There is still lots of suffering for the Doctor though but don't worry, things will be looking up for him next chapter, promise!**

**Thanks so much to my loyal reviewers!**

**OperationBlueSky: People have said so before! See you weren't hanging on that cliff for too long, see how good I am to you! Hope you enjoy this chapter hon and make sure you review again!**

**xxtifftiffxx: I know, poor Doctor! Rosita is fun to write, I really liked her! Hope to hear from you again soon xx**

**Wildtaz2go: Yeah, sorry about that! Enjoy this chapter.**

**Templa Otmena: Thanks for the comment. Rosita could have been a great companion - I'm enjoying giving her a bit more to do in my story than RTD did in his! ;) Hope you review again.**

**Okay, carrying on then:**

**A Christmas to Remember**

**Part 5. **

Jackson ran as quickly as he was able, that guiding voice still ringing in his ears. With that voice whispering in his head had come something he had begun to give up on – hope. He just prayed that the Doctor was being treated properly; if Saunders had hurt him, Jackson would make him pay. The Doctor had given everything up to be with Jackson, his whole life traveling the stars would be put on hold for one silly human, the least Jackson could do in return was keep the Doctor safe.

His face hardened as he recalled Saunders taunting him and the Doctor, threatening them both. As he had left that building – and also leaving the Doctor at the mercy of thugs and criminals, Jackson had never felt so pathetic, so helpless. Even when the Cybermen had attacked and the Doctor had saved him, he had not felt weak. He had still known deep down that he had the strength to fight back, that he could be of assistance to the Doctor in return. Saunders had made him feel useless, unable to protect the Doctor or his own son.

Oh, if they had laid one finger on the Doctor...

Suddenly, as if on cue, the voice came again:

"_Jackson Lake, you must come. The Doctor must be kept safe and you must help him."_

He frowned.

"What must I do? Tell me what I can do!" he shouted desperately into the night.

"_Come to me!"_

Jackson shook his head. "Oh yes, very helpful..."

Finally, he arrived at his destination. Breathing heavily, he gazed at the blue object in front of him, standing tall, seemingly waiting for him. As he watched in awe, the doors swung open and he could hear the hum of the TARDIS, soft and gentle, as if it was beckoning him inside. He hesitated for a moment when the voice spoke again. _"Come inside, Jackson Lake. You are welcome.."_

Taking a deep breath, Jackson stepped inside. Unbeknownst to him, Rosita was watching him from afar, scared but excited as her friend walked into the strange blue contraption and the golden glow that came from inside. She watched, stunned, as the doors began to close behind him. Making her mind up in seconds, she raced out from behind her cover and called out.

"Sir! Mister Lake. Wait!"

He paused, surprised. She rushed through the doors just as they closed, losing her footing in her haste and falling to the ground with a cry. Looking up, her eyes grew wide with wonder as she gazed around the room she now found herself in. Her mind tried to convince her of a sensible explanation but her eyes told her otherwise.

This was real.

"Impossible," she murmured. "This is not possible."

Jackson was reached to her, a small smile on his lips.

"Now, now Rosita! What did I tell you about decorum?"

She accepted the hand he offered and he helped her carefully to her feet. She looked up at him with disbelief. "How can you talk like that, sir? Look where we are!"

He took her hand and squeezed it. "I know. This is the TARDIS, Rosita. The incredible time and space ship that belongs to the Doctor. And it is wonderful! Can you not feel it Rosita, the power of it, nudging at your mind?"

She swallowed hard, letting go of his hand and taking a step back. "You're scaring me, sir."

He touched her face gently. "Don't be frightened, my dear. It will not harm us. She wants to help us and the Doctor."

Rosita brought her hands together and clasped them to her chest, trying to control her fear. This was all unreal for her, sights she knew she should not be seeing. But at the same time, she knew she was strong and that she could cope. She had faced the Cybermen and emerged a better person. If Jackson Lake trusted that this machine, as impossible as it was, wanted to help them, then she would believe him

He waited, watching her patiently. She smiled at him.

"What happens now then?" she asked.

He nodded, pleased she had apparently battled her panic and won. "Now, I must open my mind." He looked back towards the centre of the room, at the thing he knew to be the 'console.' He walked towards it, somewhat tentatively, and placed his hand against the column.

A brilliant golden light erupted the moment his hand connected with the TARDIS and Rosita let out a low cry, holding a hand in front of her face for support. It shone so brightly, she could no longer see him.

"Mister Lake?" she asked, worriedly. When he didn't answer, she tried again, more urgently and now once again fearful of the unknown, "Jackson!"

Still he didn't reply and she seemed to be stuck where she stood. She couldn't move a muscle, no matter how hard she tried. She screamed his name desperately, terrified for him. Her fears were only heightened when a voice said in her mind, "Rosita, do not be afraid. Be calm."

She shook her head. "This is not right!" she shouted. "Stop this!"

Suddenly, as if in answer to her, the light was gone.

Time seemed to freeze. The only noise Rosita could hear was the sound of her own breathing. She blinked a few times, her eyes slowly adjusting once more. Once she had recovered, she could see Jackson, still standing beside the console, his face quite calm. He turned around slowly and smiled at his young friend.

"I am sorry I concerned you, Rosita. I promise you there is nothing to fear."

He moved towards her, once again offering his hand. She took it and he began to lead her out of the ship. She was pleased to not have to stay in the strange machine a moment longer. Everything about the Doctor's ship unnerved her. She began to doubt whether she would really have what it took to be a true companion of the real Doctor!

"Are you sure you're alright, sir?" she asked Jackson.

He nodded.

"Oh yes, I feel quite alright. Better than before!" he said, excitedly. "The TARDIS had a plan to help her Doctor and I believe it could work. She has given me a way forward, Rosita."

She smiled encouragingly. "I told you, sir. I told you everything would be fine." She looked down. "I'm sorry for my reactions to the Doctor's wonderful craft. I just did not know how to act. I have never seen the like of it in my life. It is a magnificent machine though, that I know, and if it says we can help the Doctor than I know we will save him."

He clasped his hands together. "That's the spirit!" He placed his hand on her back. "Rosita, you must not feel uncomfortable for being somewhat taken aback by the TARDIS. I had a similar reaction to it the first time the Doctor showed it to me. One seems to become used to it the more time one spends in it."

Rosita gave him a small smile, though she was not sure she would ever become used to such a machine! Jackson was already striding off back into the night, Rosita having to run to catch him up.

"Where are we going now?" she enquired.

"To the TARDIS. There is something I need from it."

Rosita was completely lost and she stared back at the blue box, slowly disappearing from view. She wondered for a second if the TARDIS had in fact muddled with her friends mind.

"Eh, Sir? We have just come from the TARDIS. Remember?"

He stopped dead and looked at her. "Rosita, of course I know we have just come from the TARDIS. Perhaps you think I have lost my mind? I clearly meant MY TARDIS. A vehicle different from the Doctor's certainly but mark my words, just as useful! Come, we have no time to waste!"

Rosita rolled her eyes as they set off again. "Don't walk so fast," she snapped, now indignant. "Typical, always trying to leave me behind!"

She allowed herself a small smile. She couldn't help but feel relieved that, at last, _her_ Doctor was returning to his old self. And if the Doctor's ship had given him that belief, well, she could certainly return the favour and trust in it in return.

"We're coming, Doctor," she murmured. "Hold on..."

XXX

Saunders was humming. He was sat up on a chest of drawers in the far corner of the room, kicking his legs like an excited child. His two friends were sat down together, enjoying a drink between them. The Doctor, no longer necessary for him to be guarded, was lying on his front in the middle of the room, his arms still bound behind him and his trousers around his ankles. They had left him where he had fallen and he was happy to be ignored. It gave him a chance to rest his aching body and he found it easier to control the horrendous pain he was in if he was left alone.

Unfortunately, it was not to last.

Saunders jumped down from his perch and sauntered over to the Doctor, feeling quite delighted as he saw the Doctor flinch as he moved closer.

"Not long now," Saunders said. "In less then twenty minutes, I will be a very rich man. I must thank you, Doctor."

The Doctor frowned but he did not reply.

Saunders chuckled. "Not so talkative now, Doctor. I wonder why that is?"

Again, the Doctor remained silent.

Saunders's eyes narrowed. He tried again.

"So, how long have you known Jackson Lake?"

The Doctor knew not speaking would only cause him more harm eventually. He swallowed his pride and mumbled; "Since yesterday."

"HA!" Saunders exclaimed. "I was correct then. He found you and paid for your services." He chuckled nastily. "Whatever he paid you, it was too much!"

Humiliation swept through the Doctor. He knew he should ignore Saunders poisonous words but it was hard for him; it was totally against his nature after all.

"Maybe I was trying harder with him," the Doctor threw back.

Saunders eyed him for a moment and then moved away from his prisoner. He walked over to his two companions and picked up the belt from the table. The metal end of the belt was still stained in blood. The Doctor glanced up and swallowed when he saw what Saunders was holding.

"_Not again,"_ he thought desperately. _"I can't take it."_

"Tell me," Saunders asked him, his eyes trained on the belt. "That trick you did, knocking me and my fellows to the ground with such force but but with no weapon in your hand. How did you do that?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," the Doctor muttered. He couldn't meet Saunders eye.

"Oh, I think you do," Saunders replied, teasingly. "Tell me."

The Doctor closed his eyes again. The cruel man bristled. "I asked you a question," he said, softly. "I suggest you answer me."

"You won't believe me even if I do tell you so what's the point?"

Saunders shrugged. Crossing the room swiftly, he swung the belt down on the Doctor's back, causing the beaten man to stifle a cry. Saunders smirked and touched the Doctor's back, quite gently, rubbing his fingers over the Doctor's wounds. The Doctor cringed away from his touch. Having the man in such close proximity to him made him shiver with disgust. He made eye contact with Saunders finally and the evil man grinned down at him. "Why do you not let me decide whether I believe you or not?" Saunders remarked; "because if my conversation bores you so, there are other things we could be doing instead."

The room was filled by the mocking laughter of Saunders's allies. The Doctor hated the sound of it. He wondered if he would ever be able to forget the sound of their joy at his humiliation.

"So," Saunders was asking him, "once more, how did you force us away?"

The Doctor glared at him. "I knocked you and your pals over with the power of my mind."

Saunders raised an eyebrow. "You can move things with your mind?" His tone was belittling.

The Doctor nodded. "Yes," he whispered. "If I'm angry or frightened enough."

Saunders regarded him for a moment. Then, with a cry of fury, he raised the belt again. The Doctor, to his own dismay, cowered beneath him. He hated himself for it. How could this one tiny, insignificant human reduce him to this? Oh, how the Master would be laughing...

Saunders stopped, watching the Doctor's fear. The he threw back his head and laughed loudly. Once more, his fellows joined in.

"Which was it? Anger or fear?"

The Doctor glared back at him. "Both."

Shaking his head, Saunders crouched down beside the Time Lord.

"You think are a very funny man, Doctor. I do not find you witty or clever. What I did to you though, now, that was funny." He leaned closer, causing the Doctor to draw away.

"Will he still come, I wonder?"

The Doctor ignored the comment. Saunders laughed again.

"Do you think Saint Jackson Lake will still want you after what I did?" His eyes swept over the Doctors bruised and bloodied form. "Look at you. Look how broken you are. Who would want you now?"

"Get away from me," the Doctor snarled.

Saunders kicked him, causing his victim to groan in pain.

"If I want to use you again, friend, I will. It is the only use you still have."

The Doctor cringed. He could still feel Saunders' callous hands moving all over his body, touching him, possessing him. The agony that had coursed through him as the bastard had thrust into him repeatedly, the disgusting and demeaning words he had used. And how all three men had laughed with such delight when a scream of pure horror had finally been ripped from his throat as Saunders had completed his terrible assault. The torments the Doctor had gone through, within his very soul… He could not stand the thought of being put through such treatment again. He would rather die.

"Kill me then." He muttered.

Another cold chuckle. "All in good time."

Saunders sat back on his heels, still watching the Doctor closely.

"If, however, I choose to let you and Jackson leave here alive, will you tell him what I did?"

A beat, then the Doctor replied, very softly; "no."

Saunders reached forward and touched the Doctor's face. The Doctor tried hard to remain still.

"Who are you?" the evil man asked.

The Doctor was surprised at the question.

"What?"

"Who are you, really?"

The Doctor smiled. It was a smile that actually sent a shiver down Saunders's spine.

"TELL ME!" he yelled. The Doctor jumped.

_Why not?_ He thought.

"I'm a Time Lord from the planet Gallifrey," he said, simply. "I am the last of my kind and I try to help the human race in any way I can." He looked away, not wanting Saunders to see how upset he was. "You have no idea how small you are to me, Saunders."

Saunders took hold of the Doctor's chin and forced the tormented man to look at him.

"Oh, is that so?" He smiled. "Then why did you scream so beautifully for me?"

The Doctor moaned but still Saunders would not release his grip.

"Are you lying to me?" Saunders asked softly, staring intently into those deep brown eyes. "Would you dare?"

"I knew you wouldn't believe me," the Doctor managed, his face hurting from Saunders's cruel grip.

"No," Saunders mused. "I think I can believe you to be from another world, _my Lord_."

He let go of the Time Lord and watched as the Doctor fell down, straight onto his ruined back. The Doctor screamed in agony.

Saunders gave the Doctor a mocking bow.

"And look what _I_ did to you!"

He laughed loudly, turned and walked away, finally leaving the Doctor alone.

Saunders last stinging words echoed in the Doctor's mind. He was so ashamed of what he had become - a laughing stock. He was a creature to be defiled and played with, by the very people he had pledged to protect.

He thought of Queen Victoria and Torchwood. He heard Davros' hateful words. The insane old man had been right. Earth was no longer a second home for him. Humans just wanted to cause him harm. But still, he kept on coming back for more.

He looked at the clock. Ten minutes left. Would Jackson even bother to come for him? He doubted it.

Was this really how his tenth life would end? Alone in London in 1851?

Maybe he did deserve this end. He thought of Jack and Martha, Rose, Sarah and Donna.

He wondered if anyone would miss him or wonder what had happened to him? Would anyone even care?

A tear slowly fell down his face.

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

Here's the latest update, sorry I'm a bit late with it. This was a tough chapter to write - it was longer then I envisioned it being. Anyway, the Doctor gets some love and care here at last; oh and there's a bit of a surprise. Well, I hope it's a surprise! ;) Please let me know what you think, feedback is a big help for me!

Thanks to everyone who have read the story up to this point, especially to those who reviewed. I love you guys! **Tenxxjack** – The Doctor is my fave character too! Yep, he's gonna get some love now, I think you'll like :) **wildtaz2go** – Thanks, glad you like it! **OperationBlueSky** – This one is not so depressing – things are looking up! As for Matt Smith, I like him! Yeah, he's young but I said Heath Ledger was too young to play the Joker and look what happened there? I'll wait and see! Saunders will get whats coming to him, I promise! :)

Hope you all enjoy this update.

**Part 6**

The Doctor was still kneeling in the centre of the room, his head bowed, trying very hard not to gain the attention of the three men sat close by, now playing cards. Saunders had chosen to show no pity - the Doctor was still completely naked – and shivering from both the cold and the ever present waves of pain. He now had his back to the clock so could not even know how much longer he would have to endure this. One way or another, he hoped it would soon be over.

Well, over for a short while anyway. At least he would give the bastards the shock of their lives.

His hair was now wet from the damp and his own sweat and was flopping over his forehead. He was feeling so weak from the beating and other injuries he had taken, and was also aching from being forced to remain in the same kneeling position for such a long time. His arms, still tied behind him, were killing him. He longed for his release. He stared ahead, his eyes wide but soulless, at a puddle on the ground in front of him. For the last few minutes he had been fighting to remain upright to keep himself from falling face down into the dirty water. He would not give Saunders the satisfaction of seeing that. He didn't think he could take any more shame. He shuddered, feeling small tremors running up and down his body. He let out a low moan and, to his dismay, he was heard.

Saunders looked up at the sound and addressed the Doctor brightly.

"Is there something amiss, your Lordship?"

His two chums glanced across at the Doctor, snickering.

The Doctor bristled but said nothing. He only had to keep tight lipped for a few minutes more. Then, it wouldn't matter anymore.

Saunders chuckled. The Doctor's silence was his triumph.

"Oh Doctor?" He called, happily. "What would the time be now, if you would be so kind?"

The Time Lord pursed his lips together but still he said nothing. The man's taunts no longer had the desired affect on him. He would not rise to the bait. He had learned to shut the ape out.

"What?" Saunders exclaimed, with mock indignation. "Are you telling us that you do not know the time, Sir? Not much of a Time God then, are you? I am diappointed!"

His two companions roared with laugher, hitting their fists on the table top to show their appreciation for their master's "joke." The Doctor however did not react, he continued to stare stonily ahead.

Saunders grew agitated by his victim's silence.

"Did you not hear?" He barked, warningly.

The Doctor looked up finally, eying his foe with disdain. "I'm a Time Lord," he snarled. "But I'll take God if you prefer it, thanks for the compliment!" He smirked.

Saunders glared. He placed his cards down on the table carefully, his eyes not leaving the Doctor, the card game suddenly forgotten. His friends turned to watch, pleased that there was going to be some more sport for them to enjoy.

Benjamin walked towards the Doctor and leaned over him.

"My apologies, _My Lord_," he mocked. "But you must admit, how seriously am I to take you if you are not even able to tell the time?"

More hooting laughter from his brainless servants. The Doctor assumed Saunders was paying these two men for their services. They certainly were not on the same level as him. The Doctor wondered if they too had endured such treatment from Saunders. The Doctor was sure this man had had much training in becoming the bully he was now.

Suddenly, Saunders struck the Doctor across the face with such malice that he fell backwards, once more landing painfully on his back. Just as before, this agony was too much for the weakened Time Lord and his eyes instantly filled with tears. He bit his lip, drawing blood, desperately trying to hold in an agonised cry. The evil man grabbed the Time Lord's hair and forced him to turn around, dragging him into a sitting position. He made him look at the clock behind him. The unbelievable agony that the sudden movement caused almost made the Doctor want to pass out.

Saunders brought his face close to the Doctor's as he hissed in his ear, "Five minutes, Doctor. Do you see that, _Time Lord?_ You only have five minutes left!"

The Doctor couldn't help himself; he was so exhausted that he actually found himself leaning against Saunders for support. Benjamin seemed too perplexed to act for a few moments but he soon recovered, shaking the Doctor away. As soon Saunders moved, the Doctor fell, this time less painfully, onto his side. He lay there, not moving, his eyes tightly closed, his chest rising as he fought to control his breathing.

Saunders regarded him, scanning the Doctor's naked body with his little piggy eyes. The Doctor cringed under Saunders' scrutiny. The cruel man shook his head and tutted. "This is not right," he said softly, more to himself but loud enough for the Doctor to hear. He crouched down beside the Time Lord and reached for his trousers, still resting around his ankles.

"My apologies, Doctor." Saunders said politely, though his eyes were twinkling spitefully. "How cold you must be, lying there in nothing but your own skin. A Gentlemen certainly cannot greet his friends in such a manner, especially when he is a higher power from another world!"

He took hold of the Doctor's trousers and began to pull. Suddenly, he stopped. How odd. He could feel the sensation of being unable to move once again, although this time the power was a lot weaker. He looked down at the Doctor, giving him a reproachful look. "Now, now." The Doctor was wincing, clearly losing the battle within his mind to hold Saunders at bay. Saunders lowered his voice.

"There is no need for this shield, Doctor. We are so near the end. I merely wish to return some dignity to you. Let me help you."

The Doctor relaxed and lowered his defences. Saunders was released and he smiled at the Doctor and inclined his head. He continued to pull up the Time Lord's trousers, taking the opportunity to fondle the Doctor as he did so. The Gallifreyan closed his eyes and gritted his teeth. He should have known not to trust the man. He heard his evil chuckle and opened his eyes to see Saunders leering down at him, pure lust in his eyes. The Doctor could do nothing, he no longer had the energy to stop Saunders, all he could do was lie there and take it.

Dignity? The Doctor wondered if he would ever discover his again. Saunders had battered him, defiled him and humiliated him, for no other reason but for his own perverted desires. And still, he was not satisfied.

Finally, Saunders relented and straightened up. "Sorry Doctor, it seems your other clothes were slightly ripped. Perhaps you could send me the bill? I will be a rich man very soon, after all." He laughed heartily and turned to address his fellows, still with a big grin on his face. Oh, but he was enjoying himself now.

"Jim, would you be so good as to pass me his belt, please."

The Doctor flinched violently at his words.

_Please no, not another beating. Not in front of Jackson. Please._

It was as if Saunders could read his thoughts.

"I would not allow Lake to be part of our fun, Doctor. Never fear." He reached out to play with the Doctor's hair, his voice soft.

"You were strong, very strong. But like any animal, I tamed you in the end. You will never forget _me_, Doctor."

Sickeningly, the Time Lord knew he spoke the truth. This night would be etched in his memory forever.

"Two minutes, sir," the man now revealed to be Jim called out.

Saunders rubbed his hands together. The Doctor swallowed hard. The Master would be proud of such cruelty.

"Kneel," Saunders demanded.

With an effort, the Doctor obeyed, dragging his wrecked body up and forcing himself to kneel. He was breathing heavily and he kept his head low, praying that he would not vomit. His whole body felt like it was on fire. The pain was immense and the Doctor could not remember a time he felt worse, even living through all the agonies of the Time War did not compare to this Hell.

Saunders walked dramatically towards his prisoner until he was level with him. He placed his pistol against the Doctor's head and rested his finger on the trigger.

"Any last words?" he asked. His two friends were stood nearby, watching intently. The Doctor could sense their excitement and desire for his death and it hurt his hearts. How many lives had he lost for scum like this? Was it worth it? He could almost hear the Master giggling in his ear.

The Doctor smiled. And then, shocking himself and his three captors, he began to laugh.

Saunders was uncomfortable. He could feel his control slipping. What right did the man think he had to _laugh_?

"Something amuses you, friend?" he hissed.

"Imagining what all of your faces will be like in a minute." The Doctor snapped back. "That's funny to me. He leaned closer to Saunders. "Oh, and could I give you a word of advice? Stand back."

Saunders was stunned. "_You _are giving advice to me?!"

The Doctor shrugged. "Didn't say you had to take it, did I?"

Saunders eyes grew wide. He raised his fist but then stopped as the clock began to chime. The red haze left him and he smiled down at the Doctor in triumph.

"So, Jackson did not come. He has left you to your fate."

"Yes," the Doctor agreed, quietly. He would not show Saunders how much he was hurting inside. Why had Jackson abandoned him? He knew him to be brave man. The Time Lord presumed he really wasn't worth saving. He knelt there, waiting for his tenth life to end. Suddenly, it dawned on him. If Saunders shot him in the head, what he have the change to regenerate at all? Or was this how it was going to be end. Alone and shamed, murdered by a human, in 1850s London? Well, at least it would be interesting to find out, he reasoned.

"Goodbye, Doctor," Saunders hissed.

The Doctor closed his eyes. _Forgive me, Donna..._

"STOP!"

The Doctor jumped and his eyes flew open.

Jackson and Rosita were stood by the door, having charged into the room right in the nick of time. The Doctor's eyes met Jackson's. A tiny spark of hope lit somewhere deep inside the Doctor. Jackson hadn't forsaken him. The Time Lord managed a small smile, which Jackson returned. The Doctor could see the fury and horror on Jackson's face and he tried to send a silent message to the man, he wanted him to know everything would be okay now. He needed him to keep calm and not to do anything stupid.

Jackson meanwhile, could not believe the state the Doctor was in. He turned his attention to Saunders, who was grinning at him smugly. Jackson took a step forward but Rosita wrenched him back by his arm and gave him a warning look.

"You left that late, Jackson," Saunders snarled, his pistol still pointing at the Doctor's head. "You look upset, brother."

"I am here," Jackson spat, keeping one arm out of view behind his back at all times. "I have kept my word. Now keep yours and release him!"

Saunders laughed. Quick as a flash, he struck the Doctor on the temple with the pistol, knocking the man out with the one blow. Jackson shouted out in anger and tried to pull free of Rosita's grip but she clung on. Saunders's allies had walked behind Rosita and Jackson and had closed the door, placing themselves in front of it. No one could escape.

"Where is my money?"

Jackson sneered. "You think I could carry that amount of money? Don't worry though, it's safe."

"I told you to bring it to me here. That was our agreement." He aimed the pistol and the unconscious Doctor and prepared to fire.

"Wait!" Jackson yelled and Saunders stopped.

"Well then? Are you going to fetch me my money? And the boy?"

"Frederick?" Rosita piped up, confused. "What has Freddie got to do with this?"

Saunders looked at Rosita as if he had not noticed her before. He took in her clothing and her manners and smirked. "Oh, I see. You needed to pay a woman as well as a man, did you Jackson?"

"Hold your wicked tongue!" Jackson snapped.

Saunders chortled. "Enough of this! Tell you what, we will all go and fetch my money and little Freddie whilst my boys remain here with the Doctor. Once I see my money for myself, I will then return and tell them to let him go. Do you agree, Mister Lake?"

Jackson's eyes fixated on the Doctor, slumped on the floor beneath Saunders. Jackson's hands gripped the handle of the object his was holding inside his coat. Oh, how he wished he could use it on Saunders. He could take him by surprise, all he had to do was aim and fire...

"Mister Saunders!" A voice behind Jackson squealed. "He's hiding something in his coat, sir. He is, sir!"

Saunders eyes flashed. "Thank you, Jim." He took a step forward, now standing over the Doctor. "Would you actually be that stupid, Lake?"

Jackson said nothing. Rosita had paled. She wouldn't look at Jackson.

Saunders looked from one to the other and frowned.

"SHOW ME!" he shouted. "Show me or I kill him now!" He kicked out at the Doctor for good measure.

Jackson didn't hesitate. He moved his hidden arm into view and held up the item he was holding for everyone to see. It resembled a long gun.

Saunders stared at it blankly.

"What is that?" he barked. "Some kind of weapon?"

Jackson smiled. "What this? Oh it's just a Dimension Bolt. Nothing to worry about."

Saunders blinked. "Do you mock me, sir?"

Jackson's smile vanished. "Oh no, sir. Not after what you have done tonight, to my good friend. I only hope God can forgive you."

Saunders was growing impatient. "Will you take me to my money, Lake?"

"No, I won't."

"You will not?"

"That money belongs to my family and myself, not you. You will not have it."

Saunders was utterly gob smacked. He had not expected such a sudden change in attitude. What had happened to Lake? Where had all this new confidence come from? It reminded Saunders of someone. Of course, Saunders was reminded of the Doctor. Was he not told that Jackson and the Doctor had only met the day before? Had the Doctor dared to lie to him? If that was the case, then he would get what he deserved. They all would.

Saunders eyes narrowed when he once again turned to Jackson. "Very well then. You have made your decision. Say goodbye to your pretty boy."

"Don't do this, Saunders," Jackson snapped, fighting to remain calm.

"Too late!" the horrible man taunted. "I gave you your chance!"

"For Caroline," Jackson said quietly, "for your sister's sake, move away from the Doctor."

Jackson's eyes blazed. "To hell with Caroline!"

At that, Jackson couldn't contain himself. Incensed, he fired the bolt and a tunnel of bright blue light exploded from the gun nuzzle. His aim was true. In a few moments, Saunders pistol had disappeared, having been transported into the time vortex.

Saunders was completely astonished. He stared open mouthed at his empty hand.

Lake was grinning widely. "Now Benjamin, what have you to say?"

Unable to form words, Saunders staggered backwards, falling over the Doctor and landing in a heap on his backside. His two friends, still standing by the exit, let out terrified howls and ran for their lives. They flung open the door, screaming warnings of "Witchcraft!" and "Demons! God save us!" Jackson spun on the spot, the bolt now aimed at the two men, falling over themselves in their haste to depart. He fired two shots and both the thug's belts disappeared. With no support, their trousers fell down. Rosita laughed loudly as the men, still yelling in fear and now comically attempting to pull up their trousers, tripped and staggered their way out of the door. They ran off into the night, screeching and pleading their God for forgiveness.

Jackson was satisfied with their punishment. Justice would find the two of them eventually. For now, he had only one target in mind. He raised the weapon again, this time pointing it straight at the terrified Saunders. The evil man held up a hand, signalling his surrender.

Not taking his eyes off of his foe, Jackson addressed Rosita.

"Hurry. Help the Doctor."

With a quick nod, she rushed over to the fallen Time Lord. When she got to him, she fell to her knees beside him and softly turned him over. At the sight of his beaten and bruised face, sorrow filled her and tears immediately sprang into her eyes. She placed her hand on his face, hoping to offer him some sort of comfort. He moaned, twitched slightly and then opened his eyes. He flinched at her touch but when his eyes focused on her kind face, he smiled with relief. She beamed back, though her heart was breaking. What had they done to him? This man had saved the whole world the day before, had risked his own life. Now look at him. Rolling the Doctor over as gently as she could, she saw the wounds on his back and gasped with shock and anger. She glared over at Saunders, her face murderous.

"Please," the Doctor murmured. "Don't tell Jackson. He will blame himself."

She stared at him, unsure.

"What is it, Rosita?" Lake called over, becoming impatient. He wanted to hand Saunders over to the law and then for this whole sorry affair to be over. "Is he alright?"

Saunders hooted with laughter. "Better go easy with him, love." He called over. "He is a bit delicate right now!"

Jackson raised the bolt again and Saunders cowered. Jackson couldn't help but thrill at seeing the man's panic.

Rosita touched the Doctor's hair and was devastated to see him jerk away.

"How much pain are you in?" She asked him.

The Doctor whimpered. "I need the TARDIS," he murmured. "Please take me there."

"Rosita!" Jackson repeated, his tone now urgent. "Can he be moved?"

"He wants the TARDIS, sir," Rosita called back.

Jackson nodded hurriedly. "Then that is where we will take him." He glared at Saunders. "Directly after we have visited the police station." He glanced at the Doctor and could see the man was shivering from the cold.

"Rosita, will you dress the poor fellow?" he called with some annoyance and upon hearing a snort from the man opposite him, only force of will prevented Jackson from firing and sending the bastard to rot in Hell.

Rosita frowned. She helped the Doctor into a sitting position and her heart sank at the low cry of pain she heard him try to suppress. Exactly what had he been put through? Knowing she couldn't question him, instead she asked quietly; "Shirt, jacket?"

"In tatters," came the croaked reply.

They had torn off his clothes? "Why did they do that?"

The Doctor whimpered. "So they could..." He stopped. He just could face saying the words. "Have to go soon." He grimaced. "Bleeding..." He looked away in total embarrassment. Rosita froze as horrible realisation dawned on her. She stared at the Doctor in abject horror. No. They wouldn't have done that to him. They would not have dared.

The Doctor read the look of disgust in her eyes and he bowed his head, shamed.

Hatred consumed her. _Those bastards._

She stroked his face and, leaning forward, kissed his cheek. "Whatever they did to you, sir; it is not your fault." She sighed. "I know how you feel, Doctor."

The Doctor closed his eyes, her words causing him more pain than Saunders fist ever could.

"I'm sorry," he muttered. She shushed him and pulled him closer. The Doctor's hearts went out to her. What life had the poor woman known and yet here she was, still offering him kindness. He couldn't help but wince as she gripped his hand tightly but then, feeling her courage and her strength, he squeezed back. If she could survive, then so would he.

Releasing his hand, she got up and hurried across the room, picking up a sheet that lay discarded on the floor. Quickly returning to the Doctor's side, she draped the cloth over him and instantly he grabbed at it and held it to himself tightly, relieved to feel the warmth. Rosita wrapped her arms around the thin man, very concerned to feel that he was still trembling. She looked at Jackson and shook her head solemnly.

Jackson was watching all of this, the sick feeling within him growing with every passing second. Whatever the Doctor had been put through, it had broken him. Jackson knew so much about the Doctor, he knew he was strong enough to fight off anything his foes thought at him. And this Saunders, this scum, had reduced him to this.

"What did you do to him?" Lake asked, dangerously.

Saunders chuckled. "Ask him."

"_I'm asking you!_" Jackson yelled. The Bolt trembled in his grasp.

A beat passed. Saunders took a deep breath.

"You'll find out," he whispered and before Saunders had a chance to stop him, he had thrust his hand into his coat pocket, had whipped out a knife and had flung it at the Doctor with a cry of hate.

Jackson yelled out in panic. Rosita, seeing the knife a split second before it was too late, shoved herself and the Doctor out of harm's way. They both fell to the floor, hard. She grunted in discomfort but the Doctor, he through back his head and howled in agony.

Saunders was by the door before any of them had a chance to recover. "Word of advice, Jackson;" He remarked with a grin. "Next time, search me!"

Jackson aimed the bolt again. Saunders laughed, gave the Time Lord one last wink and then the hated man was gone.

"No!" Lake yelled. "He's getting away!"

He began to give chase. A soft moan from the Doctor abruptly halted him.

"Jackson, no. Let him go."

Lake shook his head in disbelief. "But... after what he did..."

The Doctor gave him a half smile. "And he did it to me. If I can handle it, so can you." He held out a hand. "Please, can we just get away from here?"

Jackson sighed. He didn't agree with the Doctor but he was not surprised. He knew all about the man after all and how he dealt with unpleasant events. He blocked them out. Jackson quickly placed the bolt back inside his coat and then hurried to the Doctor's side, taking his arm. With Rosita's help, he supported the Doctor to the doorway.

"Are you sure you are alright?" Jackson asked the Doctor.

"You know me Jackson," the Doctor replied, attempted to sound bright but failing. "I'm always alright!" There was an uncomfortable silence.

The Doctor, a hint of pain in voice, spoke again. "Nice plan by the way, using the Dimension Bolt. and reprogramming it to us against human technology instead of cyber." Some light seemed to return to his eyes as he chatted contently. "I'm very impressed."

Jackson couldn't help but grin at his words. "Ah but I cannot take all the credit, I am afraid to say."

The Doctor was puzzled. "Oh? Who came up with it then?"

"The TARDIS. She showed me how to adjust the machine. I could hear her in my head. It was a strange sensation."

The Doctor chuckled. "She does that sometimes." He glanced up at Jackson. "We should dispose of it now though, it could be used as a weapon and as you know, I never carry weapons..."

Something in his tone agitated Rosita. Why was he preaching at them?

"We had to defend ourselves. They were dangerous men." She fixed him with a knowing stare. "As you well know."

The Doctor sighed dejectedly. "It keeps happening," he murmured, more to himself.

Rosita glared. Her face firm, she let go off the Doctor and he clung to Jackson, just managing to stay on his feet. He glanced at the woman but she would not meet his gaze. The Doctor swallowed.

"I should check on Jed and Frederick," Rosita announced, her tone clipped "Jackson, you can manage I'm sure." It wasn't a question. She didn't look at the Doctor again. Without another word, she rushed away.

Jackson frowned but said nothing. He and the Doctor had by now moved out into the snow and the Time Lord was shivering from the cold. Jackson rubbed his back carefully and the Doctor liked the contact. He didn't know why or where it would lead them, but the Doctor knew he liked being close to Jackson and he did not want to leave him.

Even though he needed to, for a short time anyway.

"Please Jackson," the Doctor pleaded. "Take me to the TARDIS."

Lake nodded. Almost dragging the Doctor beside him like rag doll, the human made good progress through the snow. The Doctor was silent. He was concerned by Rosita's attitude. He hoped he had not ruined his friendship with her, he had not meant to upset her. Sometimes, politeness did not come easily to him. This current incarnation always had liked to speak his mind a little too much.

"Here we are!" Jackson suddenly announced, forcing the Doctor away from his musings. Relief swept through the Doctor when he saw his time machine. "A sight for sore eyes," he muttered, with a smile. He pulled free of Jackson's aid and took a few wobbly steps towards his pride and joy. Pulling his sheet closer to himself for comfort, he reached out a shaky hand toward the TARDIS. He was still so weak and shivery that he almost fell against her. He leaned into her, touching her lightly with his head. He could feel her gently nudging inside his mind. He was just as pleased to have him so close to her. For the first time since Saunders had put his nasty, dirty hands on him, the Doctor knew that everything would be okay.

He clicked his fingers and the TARDIS doors obediently opened for him.

"My Goodness!" Jackson exclaimed. "I did not know you had that power, Doctor!"

The Doctor nodded in agreement. "Neither did I, Jackson. Not until very recently." He turned to face his friend again. There was a tinge of regret in his eyes.

"I have to go inside alone, Jackson. The TARDIS will heal me. When you see me again, I'll be..." he paused, glancing back at the TARDIS before adding, "... better."

Jackson stepped forward, suddenly alarmed by the Doctor's words. "You don't mean you are going to change yourself again, do you?" The Doctor shook his head. "No, I'll live. I just need some time." Those deep, dark eyes gazed straight at Jackson. "Wait for me. Please."

Jackson's heart sank at those words. No. He didn't want to lose the Doctor. Not now, not after everything they had been through.

"But, how long will you be? Where are you going?" His eyes filled with tears.

The Doctor looked down. Jackson's pain affected him more than he had expected but he had no choice. He needed to do this, he had to get away from this place, until he had recovered.

"Jackson," he said softly but with conviction, "I will come back. _Trust me_."

He walked forward but stopped just inside, turning around again. Jackson wiped at his eyes, he didn't want the Doctor to find him pathetic. Not if this was to be the last time they saw each other.

The Doctor smiled kindly at the other man and waved. When Jackson returned the gesture, the Doctor's hearts soared. And he didn't know why.

"Wait for me," he repeated – and the doors closed.

Jackson stood perfectly still, wondering what he should do. Suddenly, he heard a noise, the sound of engines kicking in to life that he knew only too well. He backed right up against the wall but could not remove his eyes from the sight before him.

A few seconds later, the TARDIS had disappeared. He was alone.

He didn't move, he simply stared right at the spot where the TARDIS had been just a few moments before. There was nothing else to be done. He would do as he was asked.

He allowed himself to slip to the floor and he sat there, gazing straight ahead. And he waited.

XXX

The Doctor was sat in his chair, beside the TARDIS console. He was feeling better already, having showered and relaxed. His hair was no longer greasy and sweaty and he once again had colour in his cheeks. He was wearing another of his favoured brown suits, glad to have disposed of the remains of his old one.

Despite the pain he was still in, he was certainly beginning to feel more like his old self. And yet, still he did not feel clean. He wondered if he would ever feel clean again. Just for a moment, he thought he could hear a soft, evil chuckle in his ear and he flinched.

He gave himself a small shake. Saunders was no way near him. He would never be able to touch him again. If the Doctor spared him even one more thought, then Saunders would keep on winning. The Doctor had to let go and the TARDIS would help him.

"Perhaps the Eye of Orion, old girl? That's a good place for a break." He smiled wistfully, suddenly back in the past. "Maybe I could find Turlough's old picture..." The TARDIS' was tapping again against his mind, her way of tutting him and the Doctor chortled. "Alright, girl. Fair enough. You choose!" He lay back, resting his head. Closing his eyes, he at last felt content.

In no time at all, the TARDIS was landing.

"So girl, where are we?"

He could sense her tapping at his mind.

"_A place where you will find the help you need to recover, old friend."_

The Doctor shrugged. Well, it sounded good. As long as he could get some peace and quiet. All he needed was to be left alone and then, with some time to his own thoughts, he would then be ready to return to 1851 and Jackson.

He clicked his fingers and the TARDIS doors once more sprung open.

With a second's hesitation, he strolled out of his ship.

And froze.

He was in a large room, desks and computers as far as he could see. It was an office with a ceiling so high he thought it would take forever to reach the top. His senses told him he was underground – and in a safe place. The TARDIS brought him there after all. He did a double take when he saw a sign on the wall.

Torchwood.

Safe? She brought him here to feel better? For a moment, he wondered if his old ship had lost her marbles. And then, of course, he remembered. Torchwood was no longer his enemy. One man had changed all that.

His loyal friend.

"_Doctor!"_

His name was yelled with such shock and joy that the Doctor almost jumped out of his skin. Seconds later, Jack Harkness had skidded to a halt in front of him, his arms outstretched, delight written all over his face. Two people were stood behind him, looking at the Doctor with interest. The Doctor recognised them as Jack's co-workers, although he had only seen them fleetingly on the TARDIS scanner. He nodded to both Ianto and Gwen in turn before returning his attention to Jack.

"Hello Captain," he managed a small smile. "Sorry about dropping in like this."

Jack laughed heartily. "No problem, Doctor. Any time!" He eyed the Doctor questioningly. "Gotta tell you though, I'm surprised. It's only been three weeks since the Daleks after all."

The Doctor nodded. "And Martha? Is she here?"

Jack shook his head. "Out on a job. With Mickey. They'll be back soon."

"Good, that's really good. That's... good," the Doctor garbled. Suddenly having three pairs of eyes permanently on him was making him jittery. He glanced away.

Jack noticed this and he frowned inwardly. He exchanged worried glances with Ianto and Gwen. Something wasn't right.

"Doctor, why are you here?" Jack inquired, deciding it was best to cut to the chase.

The Time Lord was taken aback. "Oh. Yes. Of course, I shouldn't have invited myself here.. I'll leave at once. Ignore me... I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..." He turned to hurry back inside the TARDIS. This had been a bad idea of hers... now, he would decide the destination. He wanted to be on his own, didn't the TARDIS understand that?

Jack, realising his mistake, moved closer to the Doctor and was stunned to see how nervous of him the alien was. Surely the Time Lord knew he could trust him? He grasped the Doctor's arms and the Doctor panicked. He struggled, terrified, in Jack's grip and the Captain backed away at once, his hands placed harmlessly at his sides.

"Doctor," the Captain urged. "It's okay. Calm down."

Relieved that hands were no longer upon him, the Time Lord went limp. He stood there, completely still, his head bowed. He didn't speak a word. Worried that the Time Lord may be about to fall down, Jack stepped forward again, somewhat cautiously this time and embraced the Doctor tenderly. The Doctor immediately leaned against the other man, grateful for the support. Together they slipped down to the floor carefully. With a sob, the Doctor covered his face with his hands and wept. Jack held the Doctor tightly, desperately wanting to comfort him but still at a loss for what to do for the best.

"Doctor," Jack whispered, only just managing to hold back his own tears. "Tell me what's wrong. Please."

Jack could feel the Doctor cringing against him. He pulled back slightly and gazed down at the quivering Time Lord. Seeing the Doctor in this state was something Jack had never expected to see. And it was tearing the ex-Time Agent apart.

"It hurts Jack."

Jack frowned. "What hurts?

A whimper. "It hurts inside."

Ianto coughed. Jack glanced at him. Ianto, standing behind Jack and the Doctor in case Jack needed his assistance, was looking on horrified. His eyes were filled with pity as he regarded the Doctor. He then walked away, gesturing for Gwen to follow and then left the room quietly. This was neither his nor Gwen's business. But if Jack or the Doctor needed them, then they were there.

Steeling himself, Jack looked past the Doctor, seeing what had so disgusted Ianto. Then he noticed the blood seeping through the Doctor's trousers, leaving a stain of red on the floor.

"I can't stop the bleeding," the Doctor moaned pitifully.

Jack very nearly vomited. He stared at the Doctor, too heart broken to speak. This was for real. Someone had done this to him. Someone had used the Doctor, taken advantage of him. Fury engulfed Jack. He would find the man who did this and rip the scum's head off. How dare they touch the Doctor? How could they hurt someone so innocent in such a vile way?

"Who?" Jack asked, simply.

The Doctor closed his eyes. Jack knew it would be a long time before the Doctor would talk to him about his ordeal. Anyway, he didn't need talk; it was medical attention the man required.

Holding the Doctor close to him with one arm, Jack pulled out his phone with his free hand and quickly made a call.

"Martha," he stammered, after a second. "Come back now. I need you here. Yes, now. Look, just get here will you? Okay." He paused. "And Martha? Hurry." He cancelled the call and turned back to the Doctor, wrapping his long arms around the man he adored above all others.

"I'm sorry for what you've gone though," Jack said softly. "You'll be okay. You are with people who love you. You'll be fine."

At that moment, the Doctor finally understood. The TARDIS had been absolutely right to bring him to Torchwood and to Jack. He had been so wrong, it wasn't solitude he required, he needed to be around those who knew him well, knew how to help him and would have the resources to do so. That was the only way his body and soul would heal completely. And once he was better, he would be ready to return to Jackson. He had unfinished business with him. He would keep his promise.

The Doctor rested his head against Jack, feeling protected. "Thank you," he said quietly, addressing both Jack as well as that soft and gentle hum that was now always present, inside his head. She truly did know him better than he knew himself.

He would never feel alone again, she would help him to see that. One way or another.

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

**Hi again. Sorry for the delay in posting this, it was a hard chapter for me to write. I hope you all think it's okay. Please let me know. I'll try to get the next update sorted a bit quicker for you all.**

**Thanks to:**

**Templa Otmena - Thanks very much. I was nervous about bringing Torchwood in but it seems to have gone down okay. Hope you like this chapter and please review again ****J**

**Atawalpa - Sorry I kept you waiting, thanks so much for your lovely comment. I'm glad you are enjoying the story and hope you like this update. Please review again.**

**Tenxxjack - Thank you. The relationship between Jack and the Doctor is great and so complex. I hope you like the interaction in this chapter. Please let me know. And thanks for the compliment! ****J**

**Skycross - Sorry for the wait. Hope you think it's worth it. I really hope you review again and let me know what you think. Thanks for the comments!**

**OperationBlueSky - Aww, sorry I took so long. And I've kept you waiting again now… you're gonna hate me ****L**** I hope you like the chapter and that it makes up for the waiting! Please, please comment again, I really do love your reviews ****J**

**Okay - going on then:**

**A Christmas to Remember**

**Part 7**

_The Doctor was trembling. He wanted to hide his fear, wanted to stay in control but it was impossible. This was so new to him, to be made to feel so weak, so helpless. He was at the mercy of the man standing over him and with his hands tied behind him; there was no way he could fight back._

_Saunders chuckled as he took hold of the Time Lord's hair, holding the Doctor still. He positioned himself up against the other man, their bodies now a hair's length away. The Doctor gritted his teeth; it was sickening to have this evil man's naked flesh so close to his own. _

_He was scared, truly scared. And, for once, he didn't know what to do. Saunders was now on top of him, suffocating him. There was no stopping this, no matter what the Doctor may do. It was going to happen, with or without his consent._

_Saunders licked at the Doctor's ear, __causing__ the other man to cringe._

"_What's the matter, Doctor?" Saunders breathed. "You seem nervous__**.**__"_

"_Don't do this," the Doctor mumbled in response._

"_Oh, why not?"_

_The Doctor swallowed. "I haven't ever... I don't know what... please, don't."_

_Thankfully, the Doctor could not see the horrible __human__'__s__ cold grin that followed his stumbled words._

"_Don't you worry," the bastard drawled, patting the Doctor's butt cheek. "I'm here for you."_

_He leaned ever closer, holding his hard penis against the Doctor's very tight hole. When the Doctor felt the flesh brush up against him, he gasped in panic._

"_No! I don't want too!" A tear fell down his cheek. "Please!"_

_The man behind him snickered. _

"_Shhh, now," he purred, taking hold of the Doctor's length and gently stroking him. The Doctor had never felt such complete __humiliation.__ He bowed his head in shame. Saunders __revelled__ in the Time Lord's defeat. "Just remember," he whispered; "I want to hear you scream!"_

_With a loud shout of pleasure, he pushed forward, thrusting inside the Doctor ferociously. The Doctor shuddered violently from the horrendous pain as he was breached but did not make a sound. He would not let Saunders break him. The cruel man would take the Time Lord's body but he would not own his soul. Sensing his victim's continued resistance, Saunders snarled, pulled all the way out of the trembling body beneath him and shoved his way back inside, with such force that he almost knocked the wretched Doctor to the floor. The Doctor was being torn apart, blood seeping down his legs. He moaned and whimpered with every thrust but still he would not scream. Saunders repeated his actions again and again, delighting in every gasp, every groan, every sign of pain he forced the Doctor into. __Exhilarated__, he began to whisper vulgar insults to the Doctor, enjoying the other man's degradation._

"_So tight," Saunders exclaimed loudly. "Oh, but you are so tight, Doctor. Has no one ever enjoyed you before?"_

_The Doctor could not reply – all he could do was writhe in agony. How much longer would he have to endure this?_

_Saunders began to pant, finally approaching his climax. His thrusts became more irregular but were now so violent that each one caused the Doctor to release small cries of discomfort. _

"_Take it, you pathetic, disgusting whore," Saunders growled. "You're mine, do you hear me? Now, you will __**scream**__ for me!"_

_With one last shout of triumph, Saunders emptied himself into the Time Lord. Terror consumed the Doctor as he felt the hot, sticky liquid flowing into him. He had been used in the cruelest of ways and no one was there to help him. He was surrounded by people who hated him, who wanted to destroy him. What haunted him the most at the moment was knowing that they would have been among the very people he had only the day before fought to save against an alien menace. He had presumed he had been fighting on the right side. He loved humanity didn't he? Perhaps he had been wrong, perhaps he should have aided the __Cybermen.__ Just who were the real monsters?_

_Saunders pulled out of him with a contented sigh, still giving no regard for the agony the Doctor was suffering._

"_Thank you," Saunders slurred in the Time Lord's ear and he laughed gleefully as the Doctor flinched at the words._

_With a smirk, Benjamin stood, tucking himself back inside his trousers and grinned happily down at the defeated Doctor, still kneeling before him, his shoulders shaking with despair. Saunders was still not satisfied though, the Doctor had lost the battle perhaps, but not the war. Not yet. The smug man needed that scream to prove he was the victor and he was going to get it, whatever it took._

_He smiled around at his companions, who were standing close by and had been watching the events with shocked amusement._

"_Well boys?" Saunders announced with relish, his hands moving up and down the Doctor's bloodied and beaten body. "Who wants to go next?"_

_The Doctor could take no more. _

_He screamed._

"NO!"

The Time Lord sat bolt upright. He was trembling and covered in sweat as he glanced around in panic. Where was he? He seemed to be in some kind of medical centre, lying on a small bed in the middle of the room. He was covered by a sheet and knew he was wearing a gown. At least he wasn't naked. But, why had be been brought there? And when? Fear gripped him. What experiments had he been put through?

Suddenly, he heard footsteps and he cringed, expecting more pain. Was that Saunders? Had he got to him again?

"Doctor!"

The Time Lord started in surprise. He knew that voice.

Martha Jones was at his side in an instant. She reached for his hand and grasped it, trying, unsuccessfully, to calm him.

"Doctor, it's alright," she urged. "You were having a bad dream, that's all."

"Martha?" he whispered, having problems focusing on her.

"Yeah," she smiled. "You're in Torchwood, remember?"

He closed his eyes, straining to recall what had happened. Then, it came to him. The TARDIS had brought him to Jack. He had left Jackson alone, in the dark and the snow. How could he? How worried must Jackson be now? Would he actually follow the Doctor's request and wait? The Doctor doubted it, not if he had any sense.

"Where's Jack?" the Doctor asked, somewhat agitated.

"He was here until an hour ago," she replied, with a smile. "He's been at your side since you passed out. I made him go. He needed sleep of his own." She rolled her eyes. "Even an immortal should rest once in a while. Try telling Jack that though!"

The Doctor glared. When did he go and pass out? He didn't like this He didn't like others being ahead of him.

"How long have I been unconscious?" he asked bluntly.

Martha frowned. Why was the Doctor so angry?

"Two days, Doctor." She touched his hand.

"What?" the Doctor spat, pulling away from her. "How could you let me lie here for that long?"

He swivelled round, looking about once more, finally seeing his suit, all neatly folded on a table top and laid out for him. He made up his mind at once. What was he even doing there? Since when did the TARDIS dictate to him where they travelled too? It was usually the other way around!

Jackson was waiting for him, scared and lonely. He would have to leave Torchwood at once and go back. This was a crazy idea.

Throwing aside the sheet that was covering him, the Doctor leaped down from his bed; only to gasp and stumble when torturous agony suddenly swept through him from the quick movement. He grabbed hold of the bed for support, trying to bring the pain back under control.

"Doctor," Martha said, with concern. She reached out to him, helping to hold him steady. "You have to take it easy." She put her hand on his arm, supporting him. "You've been through a lot."

The Doctor flinched at her words. Memories of his recent ordeal came flooding back to him. He felt his body being molested, saw Saunders's evil grin above him. He cringed as he heard the three men's mocking laughter as they took turns to torture and humiliate him as he knelt on the ground, weak and defenceless. They had reduced him to nothing. He suddenly felt unable to look Martha in the eye and he lowered his head.

"I have to go back Martha," he whispered. "I made a promise."

Martha could feel his shame and despair and her heart sank for him. She guessed who he was referring too. After all, there had to be some reason why Donna had not returned with him. Martha assumed her friend had stayed behind on purpose, hoping to find the men that had attacked the Doctor. Doctor Jones knew what she herself would do to them, if only she were given the opportunity...

Martha frowned. The Doctor would not approve of such thoughts but she couldn't help it. Jack had told her many times how he would enjoy killing the Doctor's attackers and Martha, though less vocal, couldn't deny the same desires to see the men suffer had crossed her mind as she had tended to her friend, the man she had once loved more than life itself. A man that had saved the universe more times than she could count. And some piece of scum from the eighteen hundreds had reduced him to this. Martha despaired at the unfairness of it all.

She didn't know how to even start to try and make the Doctor better.

After a beat, she spoke again, her voice soft. "You didn't do anything wrong, Doctor." He glanced up at her and she took a breath when she saw his eyes; she had never seen them look so haunted. "You have to accept what happened," she whispered. "Humans can be cruel."

He actually laughed. She was unnerved.

"I've always known what this species are capable of, Martha," he replied, after a pause. "I've seen and felt for myself what the human being can do, to himself as well as others." He looked down. "But, this was different." He closed his eyes. "This was done to me, for their sick enjoyment." He rubbed his forehead. "All I've ever wanted to do is help. I've lost lives for this planet, Martha." When he looked up at her, she could see the tears in those eyes. "It still hurts so much."

She swallowed. "Your injuries are already healing, Doctor. I know you must be in a lot of pain but trust me, in a couple more days it will be better. You heal so quickly..."

He waved away her words. "You're right. I feel much better now, Martha." He patted her hand. "Thanks to you." His face grew hard once more. "But, when I close my eyes, there they are, haunting me. I can't forget what they did. I hate what they've done to me, what they've turned me into but I can't get past this." He looked directly at her. "I don't want to be on this planet, around humans. Even being close to you right now is hard for me. And I have to stay away from those men, Martha." He hesitated before continuing; "Because I'm scared of them."

"That's not surprising; after what they did," she began but again he interrupted her.

"You don't understand," he said, with a sigh. "I'm not making myself clear am I?" He stared straight ahead, his face grim. "I'm scared of myself, Martha, not of them. I'm scared by what I'd do to them if I ever were to meet them again." His tone became menacing. "I want to hurt them back..." He faced her. She flinched at the look on his face, at the sudden hate and fire that had appeared in those large, dark eyes. He saw her reaction and knew that he had alarmed her. Despair took him over and with a small whimper, he again turned away from her.

Martha was heartbroken.

She understood completely why he felt the way he did but also she knew the turmoil that his anger would cause to him. The Doctor abhorred any kind of violence but after being put through such an horrific ordeal, his requirement for revenge was only to be expected.

But he was the Doctor. He was supposed to be above such primitive emotions as the need for violent revenge.

And the battle was killing him inside.

_The oncoming storm._

Martha tried hard to fight back the tears. She had to stay strong for him.

Without another word, she took his hand and pulled him back round to face her. She wiped the tears away from his eyes with a tissue and then gently put her arms around him and held him close. After a second's hesitation, the Doctor returned the gesture, hugging Martha back and clinging to her tightly. She knew, in that moment, that he needed her more than he ever had before.

She would not leave him again until he was ready.

"Doctor! You're back with us!"

Both Martha and the Doctor were startled by the noisy newcomer's entrance and they broke apart quickly, the two of them embarrassed to have been caught in such a position. Martha hurriedly returned to her position at the desk whilst the Doctor remained where he was, holding his robe closer to him. He turned slowly to face Jack, smiling uncertainly.

"Jack," the Doctor said politely, "I'm sorry if we disturbed you."

Jack shook his head absentmindedly. "Don't worry about me. I told Gwen to wake me if you came round." He grinned. "Typical though. I leave you for one hour and look what happens." He rubbed the Doctor's arm. "How are you feeling? Better?"

The Doctor nodded. "Much, thanks." He looked over at Martha. "I had a good Doctor."

Jack laughed. "Oh yeah," he agreed. "The best."

Martha gave an embarrassed chuckle. Noticing she had managed to, stupidly, mislay her laptop, she left the room, deciding to check her desk in her office to see if she had left it there. On her way out, she very nearly collided with a large moving bundle of excitement.

"Where is he, then?"

Mickey Smith raced into the room, saw the Doctor and ran straight up to him, delight evident on his face.

"Good to see you, boss!" Mickey announced, with a big grin. He gave the Doctor a hug and the Doctor was glad of it, despite the pain it caused to him. As they two men embraced, Mickey whispered in the Doctor's ear:

"I'm sorry. Let me know if there is anything I can do."

The Doctor cringed. Did everyone have to know?

"Thank you," he replied and then pulled back.

"Who did it?" Mickey asked, his teeth bared.

The Doctor said nothing. He still wasn't ready to answer that question, despite being interrogated by both Jack and Martha. What good would it do telling them? This was 2010. Saunders was long dead. Let the past stay buried. He coughed, uncomfortable, when he realised he was being stared at by everyone in the room. He turned away, embarrassed.

An uneasy silence filled the room.

"So Mickey," Jack said, finally changing the subject. "Where's the stray?"

Mickey gratefully stepped away from the Doctor, switched into work-mode and then threw Jack a glare. "I was about to mention that, Captain. That's why I'm here. UNIT have it pinned down near the Bay. They need help. We should get down there. The poor creature was trying to send out a distress signal before it crashed. It's probably terrified." He pointed to the door. "I could use some help."

The Doctor looked up. "Anything I can do?"

Mickey shook his head quickly. "Nah, we can handle it. Jack?"

Jack nodded hurriedly. "Okay, you can take Ianto."

A cough came from the open door. Ianto was stood just outside, his back to them all. Those in the medical area didn't need to see the Welshman's face to know that Jack's suggestion did not fill Ianto with glee. Mickey cleared his throat. "Great, sure. But maybe some help-that-cannot-die-despite-multiple-wounds would be a good idea too?"

Jack had turned his attention away from Mickey and was once again watching the Doctor. The Time Lord was now staring down at his suit, touching the fabric lightly. Jack knew that the Doctor was a long way away right then. Jack wondered where.

"Doctor?"

The Time Lord looked up. "Yes?"

Jack frowned. "Are you okay?"

All eyes in the room were now on the Doctor. The Doctor turned red. He hated their sympathetic looks. Mickey's apparent brush off had hit him deep inside and he was offended. They thought he was ruined now. The Doctor could sense the others' knowing looks to each other. He felt like he was under scrutiny.

Mickey sensed the Doctor's misery. He certainly hadn't meant to upset him.

"Jack, are you coming?" he asked his leader, now in a hurry for them to be gone. Mickey felt that the Doctor needed some time to himself and having Jack there, fussing around him, was not helping.

At last, this seemed to occur to Jack too.

"Alright, Mickey." He turned to the door. "Ianto?"

"Yes sir?" Ianto inquired, sticking his head around the door.

"We're heading out."

Ianto smiled. "Whatever you say, sir." The Welshman's gaze met the Doctor's for the briefest of seconds. The Doctor could have sworn he saw hostility in those eyes. He ignored it. He had never met Ianto Jones before. What reason did the man have to dislike him?

Realising Jack was heading out of the door and the building, the Doctor suddenly sprang into action.

"Uh, Jack. Sorry but could you wait a moment?"

Jack paused. Mickey frowned. UNIT had probably killed that poor beast by now. "I'll start the van," he told Jack impatiently and disappeared.

The Doctor swallowed. "Thank you for helping me, Jack."

"Any time, Doctor."

Jack made to leave. The Doctor again stopped him.

"Jack, I'll be leaving as early as tomorrow."

Jack froze. Ianto seemed surprised.

"But..." Jack stammered. "You shouldn't go yet. You're still weak."

Martha had reappeared at the doorway and apparently shared Jack's reaction.

"Doctor, I really think..." she started but the Doctor cut across her.

"I do appreciate everything you have all done for me but I can't stay around here being nursemaided." He looked straight at Jack. "You know me."

Jack pursed his lips together.

"Why the big rush?" he said coldly. "Is it me?"

The Doctor sighed. "No. I mean that…" He tugged at his ear, now uncomfortable. "I made a promise to someone back in 1851. They'll be waiting, hopefully."

Martha stepped closer. "I meant to ask you earlier, Doctor, how is Donna?"

The Doctor stopped. He whirled round in shock. In his haste, he knocking his suit off of the table and the clothes landed in a heap on the floor.

The Doctor didn't even notice. He was staring at Martha. Jack was confused.

"Doctor, is Donna okay?" he inquired. "Why did you leave her there anyway?"

The Doctor was amazed at his own idiocy. He'd forgotten that no one but himself knew what fate had befallen Donna, both Martha and Jack must have presumed she had travelled on with him in the TARDIS. He was so annoyed at himself. What if, by some chance, either of them had seen Donna again? They could have caused her death! How about Sarah Jane or Mickey?

Steeling himself, the Doctor finally answered Martha's question. "Donna isn't waiting there for me. She's not in 1851."

Jack and Martha exchanged glances.

"Where is she then?" Martha asked, gently. Somehow, she knew that this was not going to be a happy answer.

The Doctor covered his face with his hands. Flashes of Donna begging him not to take her memories appeared before his eyes. There was no easy way to explain this.

"When Donna took my mind into hers," he began, quietly. "It was slowly killing her. She would have burnt up. I had to block any memories of me in her mind to save her life." He took a breath. "She can't remember any of it. Not me, not you. As far as you are concerned, the Donna you met is dead. You can never see her again and she can never ever remember any of you."

Both Jack and Martha were devastated at his words. A tear slipped down Martha's face.

"Oh Donna," she said softly. She glanced at the Doctor. "She was going to stay with you forever, she told me so."

"I know," the Time Lord replied.

Jack closed his eyes.

"Where is she now?" he asked, solemnly.

"I left her at home. She's with her mother and grandfather. She's safe and I want to keep her that way. I owe her that."

"And Rose?" Jack whispered.

The Doctor visibly trembled at the mention of that name, but he just about managed to hold his emotions in check.

"Back in her own world, Jack. Where she belongs."

Jack nodded. "With your clone?"

The Doctor gave him a small smile. "Yes."

"Thought so."

The Doctor shrugged, trying to hide the hurt he was feeling.

"Rose is happy."

"You're not."

The Doctor said nothing. He merely shrugged.

"I'm sorry," Jack muttered and the Doctor gave him a small appreciative smile.

No one spoke for a few moments. Not one person in the room was sure what to say. Even Jack, torn between his pain for Donna, Rose and the Doctor and his desire to know who it was the Doctor had to get back too, was silent. Finally, it was Ianto who cleared his throat and broke that silence.

"Why are you sorry, Jack?" he asked, very politely and quietly. "I mean, it's not like it's the first time the Doctor has abandoned his friends, now is it?" His eyes flashed.

Jack, Martha and the Doctor could only stare at Ianto in complete and utter disbelief.

Ianto smirked.

"Just saying, that's all."

Gwen Cooper suddenly appeared in the room with them, barged her way past Ianto and stopped dead in front of Jack. She had been listening to every word of the whole conversation but had remained smartly silent the whole time. She had known Ianto had watched on enviously as Jack had sat with the Doctor for two days, any sympathy the young Welshmen had felt for the alien when he had first arrived quickly fading away. He had stood beside Jack, offering him comfort and holding his hand but when Gwen has seen him stealing a few glances to the Doctor, she had been unnerved to see real dislike in those looks. And now, that dislike had boiled over, as Gwen had feared it would. Gwen had known she had to step in or watch world war three erupt around her.

She placed herself expertly between Ianto and the now furious Captain Jack.

"Let's go," she barked to Ianto.

Jack and Ianto were glaring at each other, both of them ignoring Gwen. Frowning, she placed a hand on Jack's shoulder. "Jack, we have to go now and find that alien. Mickey is waiting in the car. Please." Gwen turned to Martha. "Look after the Doctor. We'll be back soon."

Martha nodded.

"Why don't you go get dressed, Doctor?" she asked him. He nodded in agreement, picked up his clothes and disappeared out of view.

"I'll deal with you later," Jack spat at Ianto. "Who do you think you are, talking to him like that? You know what he's been through."

Ianto snorted.

"Yes, I do," he shot back. "I also know what he put _you _through! Not that you seem to care about that anymore! Not now he's back. You and your precious Doctor make me sick!"

Jack took a step towards Ianto, his fists clenched but Gwen put up her hands, stopping him in his tracks.

"Get out there and do your job, Jack! Now!"

With one last exasperated glance shared between Gwen and Martha, all four members of Torchwood left the room together, though Ianto and Jack were refusing to look at each other. Martha raised an eyebrow to Gwen, called out "Good luck," to her friend and then watched as the rest of her team quickly left the hub. The Doctor, now fully dressed, tiptoed his way back around the curtain, careful not to gain Martha's attention. He didn't need her concern at that moment.

No matter where he went, what he did, he continued to cause others aggro. It didn't even seem to make any difference when he was unconscious; trouble always had to follow him.

With a sigh, he slumped down into Martha's chair, waiting for them to return and fuss over him once more. He hoped the Torchwood team would return soon, safe and well but he was nervous as well, knowing that there would be fireworks to look forward to when they did.

He yawned and closed his eyes, giving into his tiredness and allowing himself to drift off to sleep. He could only hope, this time, for a peaceful, dreamless slumber. His last thought before the darkness consumed him was that Benjamin Saunders's face would not come back once again to haunt him.

Within moments, he was fast asleep. The only signs he gave of the latest nightmare he was very soon experiencing were very small twitches and moans. He didn't stir as Martha walked back into the room and stood over him, looking down upon him with pain and sadness.

"I'm sorry," she mouthed to the sleeping man. She reached out to softly stroke his hair, being as careful as possible not to wake him. She wanted to comfort him but knew she couldn't save him from whatever it was he was reliving. Here was a man she had once worshipped and, if she were honest with herself, still did, and she could do nothing for him. No one could.

"I'm so sorry."

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

**Hi everyone, here's your next update. Hope you enjoy it, quite a bit of character stuff in this chappie for the Doctor and Gwen. Oh and there's a bit more as to why Ianto was being so horrible as well! All will be revealed next time. No warnings for this chapter! It's a tame one...**

**As always, my lovely reviewers are all fantastic and I love them loads! Templa Otmena - Glad you found me on LJ! And please keep it up with the lovely long reviews, I really appreciate them... hope you enjoy! OperationBlueSky- Awesome review, as usual. Ianto is a great character but has a real dark side to him which I badly wanted to explore and thought this would be my chance. More Ianto next chapter - Hope you like this one! tenxxjack - Thanks again for commenting. I love the tender side of Martha and am enjoying writing her in this fic. Hope you like this chapter. Please, please you guys, review again! Last but not least - Thanks to my lovely beta CSG1 for always being awesome....**

**Okay - on we go!**

**A Christmas to Remember**

**Part 8**

Gwen Cooper was sat up on Martha's desk, keeping, as promised, a close eye on their sleeping patient.

She had returned soon after departing, being told by Jack to go back and keep Martha company. Extra security for the Doctor, apparently. Not that she was too concerned by this decision; the atmosphere in the car had been a bit cold to say the least. Gwen had felt things were about to turn even uglier between her leader and Ianto, who had been surprisingly quiet following his earlier outburst. Jack, however, still wanted answers. Gwen was glad to be out of it. She had returned to the hub to find only peace and quiet, Martha had been hard at work and the Doctor had been getting some much needed rest.

The others had been gone now for a good hour and the Doctor had been asleep for nearly that length of time too. Martha had received three phone calls from London in that time and she had ignored them all, not wanting to leave the alien's side. Finally, when only Gwen had promised her repeatedly that she would watch the Doctor like a hawk and call Martha the second anything untoward occurred, the young girl had at last relented and gone off to take the phone call from what was, most likely, a very annoyed fiancé.

Gwen sighed, kicking her legs together impatiently. It wasn't that she was opposed to playing nurse, it wasn't as if the Doctor was any trouble for her, but she did have plenty of work of her own to be getting on with and when the team returned with the alien, things would become somewhat hectic, as they always did. She jumped down from the table and moved towards the door, looking out for Martha. The girl had gone into Jack's office and had shut the door behind her, obviously wanting privacy. Gwen couldn't help but be curious.

"Woman's prerogative!" she muttered to herself with a snort.

She turned back around – and gasped in surprise.

The Doctor was now on his feet, wide awake and was watching her closely, an entertained smile on his face.

"Hello," he said pleasantly, hands in his pockets.

"Hi there!" she replied, just as cheerfully. "Sorry, I was just..."

"Talking to yourself?" the Doctor said, with a hint of a grin. "First sign of madness you know."

Gwen laughed. "So they say!" She moved closer to him. "Sorry if I woke you."

"Nah," the Doctor said loudly. "Who needs sleep? Sleep's overrated!"

Gwen was heartened by his apparent much happier mood. "You seem better now," she told him.

"Fit as a fiddle!" he exclaimed. "Martha about?"

"On the phone."

The Doctor nodded. "Good. That's eh, good." he said absentmindedly, as he looked around him.

"Why's it good?" Gwen said, teasing him.

"Oh, you know," he replied. "Phones are good. Really good. You can," he paused, "talk on them... And stuff…"

Gwen shook her head. "If you say so." This Doctor was a very unusual man to be sure but somehow, still very lovable. She found herself understanding the attraction Jack and Martha had had.

She was also pleasantly surprised by his attitude. He still managed to stay positive despite everything he had been through and although he had kept silent on the details of what had happened to him, the whole team had guessed by his injuries just how horrific an ordeal he had been forced to endure. And now, he was trying to be flippant, he was trying to carry on and she was amazed by his strength of character. Even if he was putting on a show for their benefit, it was certainly an impressive one.

The Doctor coughed and pulled at his ear. Gwen gathered she had been staring at him and instantly lowered her gaze. She had made him uncomfortable and that had not been her intention.

"I didn't mean..." she began but he shrugged, waving her apology away.

"It's fine," he replied; straightening his tie. "Completely understandable!"

She laughed. "Doctor, I just wanted to say..."

He cut across her, his stance suddenly becoming defensive, his face grim. "Please, don't tell me how sorry you are, Gwen Cooper. People keep on saying that to me and it's becoming tedious to be honest. I just want to move on, if people will let me..."

He sighed and glanced down at the floor, embarrassed by his outburst. Gwen realised that for those few moments it took him to make that small speech, he actually allowed the act to slip and the pain he felt was on display. She swallowed hard and took a step towards him, smiling gently.

"Actually," she said quietly, "I was going to say what an honour and a pleasure it is to finally meet you. This team wouldn't exist without you and we are all so grateful for that. All Jack has ever wanted to do is make you proud, Doctor; and now I feel that way too. I just wanted you to know that."

The Doctor blushed. "Oh**,**" he stammered, totally lost for words. It seemed he had jumped to the wrong conclusion. "Okay. Right. That's... okay."

Gwen grinned. "Thought you should know that."

The Doctor smiled back. "Thank you." He leaned in closer to her. "I didn't mean to snap at you. This has been a, eh, tough time for me. I'm not used to..." He stopped, feeling awkward.

"Being looked after?" Gwen finished for him.

He grinned. "Exactly." He glanced down nervously. "And, for what it's worth, I'm proud of Jack too. He's done a good job here and his team seem to know what they're doing. I was wrong to think badly of Torchwood." He lowered his voice. "And I don't normally admit to being wrong!"

"We're honoured," Gwen said, teasingly. "But, maybe you could tell Jack that you're proud. I think he'd like to hear that."

The Doctor nodded. It dawned on him that such a conversation with the Captain was long overdue and he was to blame for that.

There was still one problem bothering him though.

"Gwen," he said, softly, with a quick look towards the closed door. "I'm not sure that your whole team are pleased to have me here."

The former police woman sighed and ran her hand through her hair awkwardly. "Eh, yeah. Ianto."

The Doctor frowned. "Does he hate me?"

Gwen shook her head, a little too forcibly. "Of course not. It's just hard for Ianto, you being here. He loves Jack, they're, you know, an item..."

"Ah," the Doctor mused. "If he's jealous, he needn't be."

Gwen sighed. "Ianto IS the jealous type but I think it's more than that. He's been very angry and quick tempered since the Daleks attacked." She looked pained and he listened intently. "He was at Torchwood One, fought the Daleks there. He lost so much**,** Doctor, having to face the Daleks again seems to have sent him over the edge. He's been acting out of character since that day, cruel and cold. Even with Jack."

She paused, realisation dawning on her. Ianto's nastiness was especially harsh when he was with Jack, as if he was punishing him. Maybe this was _just _jealousy. Ianto was smarting that Jack rushed off to find the Doctor rather than stay and help them. To that day, Gwen and Ianto had not told Jack how close he came to losing them – and how they had let him go knowing they were facing death. Perhaps Ianto had been affected by that day more than she had originally believed. And now that the Doctor was there too... With a sigh, Gwen reached out and placed her hand supportively on the alien's arm. "And now having you here, in the flesh, must be hard for Ianto. I'm sure you've bought a lot of bad memories with you for him and plus," she hesitated before adding, "I think he's scared Jack will want to leave with you."

The Doctor turned away from Gwen and didn't speak for some excruciating seconds. Gwen knew she had said to much and was concerned. She stayed silent, unsure of what his next move would be.

At last, the Doctor spoke, quietly and calmly.

"Hard for him?" he repeated, softly. "Does he think he is the only one who has suffered because of the Daleks?" A beat and Gwen could hear the hate in his voice. Whether that anger was aimed at Ianto or the Daleks, or perhaps even both, Gwen could not be sure. The Doctor turned and faced her and she cringed at the darkness in his eyes. "If that is what he believes," he continued, "then I can promise him, he isn't."

Gwen frowned but said nothing. She had read records about the Doctor, from both UNIT and Torchwood's archives. Jack had also mentioned the Time War to her. She knew the Doctor had not had it easy but she was surprised he could dismiss Ianto's pain that coldly.

_That's what makes him different_, she reasoned.

The Doctor was now facing his TARDIS, his back to Gwen. When he spoke, she had to listen hard to hear him.

"If he really believes I'll take Jack away, he's mistaken." Then, even more quietly. "Jack made his choice."

Gwen was worried. The Doctor's mood had completely changed. He was now frosty and distant and she wasn't sure why. Did he want Jack to go with him but Jack had refused him? She crept up to him and once again placed her hand on his arm.

"Doctor..."

The Time Lord gasped and wrenched himself free from her grip, backing away from her slightly, clearly scared. She was stunned. Was he afraid of her? Was he too frightened to be touched? Again, she wondered just how bad a situation he had gone through. Had she upset him? Jack would not be happy if she had.

The Doctor took a few moments to visibly calm himself down before once more addressing a now perplexed Gwen.

"Gwen Cooper, would you do a favour for me?" A pause and then, "please?"

"Anything."

That brightened the Doctor and he gave her a gentle smile. She relaxed.

"Can you tell Martha, Jack and Mickey thank you for me?"

Gwen was confused. "But Doctor..."

"Tell them I will see them again. When the time is right. Please?"

He wasn't thinking of leaving, was he? Not without saying goodbye? How could he do that to his friends?

"The TARDIS shouldn't have brought me here. I've caused complications and I didn't want that to happen. This is the best way, believe me."

"But you can't just....?"

"Please, Gwen?" he beseeched her.

Gwen was lost for words. She couldn't let him go without a bye or leave to the others but he seemed so broken, so desperate. She was in two minds and hesitated.

"_Doctor!"_

Both Gwen and the Time Lord were startled. Martha's telephone conversation had obviously come to an end and she had rushed back to the medical bay to check on her friends. She was clearly delighted to see the Doctor up and about. With one warning look towards Gwen, the Doctor plastered a big smile on his lips as he hurried over to his former companion and scooped her up into a crushing hug. Gwen watched this, guilt growing inside of her. She would have agreed to his request, she knew she could not have refused him. And she would have denied Martha this. The Doctor had no right to make such a request of her. She crossed her arms angrily.

Martha was laughing with delight as the Doctor placed her back down on the ground.

"You seem more like your old self," she beamed. "Thank goodness!"

"Don't worry about me, Martha," he told her, touching her face lightly. "You know me!"

_Does she? _Gwen couldn't help but wonder. She still couldn't believe he would run away, unable to face the people who cared for him so much. More than he deserved perhaps.

"Gwen?"

Gwen looked up abruptly upon hearing Martha call her name and frowned when she saw both her colleague and the Doctor gazing at her, questionably. Gwen decided the best course of action was for her to carry on with her work and leave the other two to their games.

She hurried past them, mumbling about wanting to check on the rest of the team's progress and was almost out of the door when she heard the Doctor call to her. With a frown, she turned to face him.

"Thank you, Gwen," he said, with a smile.

She bristled inwardly but forced herself to smile back. She knew he was hurting and surmised that perhaps she shouldn't have told him about Ianto and the reasons for his anger but there was no excuse for him purposely causing a lot of pain to the people who loved him the most. And him running would have caused them so much hurt. She stared at the Doctor, her eyes narrowed, hoping he could read the disapproval there and judging by his face, he could. She was pleased to see him flush with embarrassment. She then turned tail and hurried back to her own desk, the door slamming shut behind her.

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

**Hi everyone! I'm back with another update for you. I really hope you all enjoy this one.**

**Thanks, as always, to my fantastic reviewers:**

**Wildtaz2go: Hi again, and thanks for another review. I'm glad you're still enjoying the fic and hope you like this chapter. As always, let me know! x**

**OperationBlueSky: Hehe! I know the last chapter was shorter and I'm sorry 'bout that! This one is longer! And thanks for the compliments, yep, I think I have improved as I've been writing this! Looking forward to your next review, can't wait to see what you think of the characterisations in this one! Thanks again for being truly awesome! x**

**GwenxxOwen: I'm wondering if you'll have changed your penname again! ******** More of the Doctor's dark and somewhat haughty side in this one! Hope you like! x**

**CosmicalMadison: Thanks so much for the review. I agree about Gwen, I find her a very unsympathetic character (Even a bit of a bitch at time tbh!) and that shows a bit in this chapter, hopefully I still have her in character though! Hope you like this update and pls review again! Thanks x**

**Also, thanks to everyone who is reading this fic, enjoy this chapter ******** And please drop me a comment if you have the time! CSG1 - Thanks for your help again with this one, it's so appreciated.**

**Okay, on we go!**

**A ****Christmas**** to Remember**

**Part 9**

Martha and the Doctor were sitting together hand in hand, both of them perched up on the Doctor's bed; chattering happily. Gwen watched them through the glass, the frown on her face deepening with every passing moment. She had left them to their own devices, keeping well out of the way, knowing that if she went back in there, she wouldn't be able to keep quiet. The Doctor had been about to run out on his friends, despite knowing how worried they were for him and his well being It was something Gwen could not even begin to understand and she didn't want to. If anything, it made her feelings for the Doctor very clear. He couldn't be trusted. He was after all – an alien.

A sudden large crashing noise ended her musings and brought Martha and the Doctor running out of the medical room and rushing into the centre of the hub. Gwen spun round to find Jack dragging a small but very desperate furry creature through the door. The animal was kicking and screaming the whole way, apparently fighting tooth and claw to get free. Ianto and Mickey charged through the door after Jack and his captive, both of them armed with guns pointing at the new arrival. Their fingers were tightening on their gun triggers.

Jack forced the alien to the floor and pinned it there. He yelled for Martha, keeping the creature at bay as it spat and scratched at him.

"I'm here!" Martha raced forward, holding a large syringe in her hand. "Hold it still, Jack."

"Trying to," Jack retorted, his teeth gritted. "Just get on with it. This is one feisty little critter!"

The Doctor stood to one side, close to Gwen and Ianto, his arms crossed and a look of obvious disapproval on his face. Ianto glanced across at the Doctor, his lips pursed when he saw the Time Lord's expression.

Martha approached Jack and the alien carefully, the syringe at the ready. Just as she was prepared to lean over the creature and inject it with the tranquilizer, the alien low out a ferocious roar and threw Jack off, hurling the Captain away and sent him crashing into a desk. Martha gasped in fear as she captured the alien's gaze. It snarled at her and then scurried forward, clearly trying to attack the young girl.

"Martha!" Ianto shouted and rushed forward, his gun raised. The alien saw him and it recoiled away from Martha, its head down, trembling as Ianto prepared to fire. Ianto hesitated for a second. Was it scared now? He had no choice. He had to protect his team mates. The alien being whimpered. Martha was watching it, confused by its sudden change. Still unsure of how the alien may react, she didn't dare move. It appeared that Mickey and Gwen were equally perplexed. Only Ianto had decided on a course of action. Martha held her breath as she gazed up at the young Welshman. Ianto glanced at her, his face firm. Then, once more, he raised his gun.

"No!" The Doctor was beside him in an instant. He grabbed at the young man's gun and wrenched it from his grip. Ianto was stunned and slightly unnerved by the anger he saw in the Doctor's eyes. He took a step back, one hand raised meekly.

The Doctor threw the gun to one side and gave Ianto a look of pure dislike.

"Can't you see the poor creature is terrified out of its wits?" The Doctor demanded angrily. Ianto hesitated on a reply before giving in and staring down at the ground. The Doctor shook his head in disgust and then, very slowly and hesitantly, began to approach the trembling alien. He gestured for the Torchwood team to stay away, his eyes never leaving those of the alien's As the Doctor moved closer, the beast shrank away from him, sat back on its hind legs and snarled at the Time Lord. It looked as if it was ready to pounce.

"Doctor..." Jack warned, watching the alien reproachfully. "Don't get too close..."

The Doctor took no notice of the Captain and stepped ever nearer. He raised his hands to the creature, trying to convince the clearly scared to death alien that he meant it no harm. And it seemed his message was getting through. The creature stopped snarling, its eyes now locked on the Time Lord's and, to the amazement of the others in the room, the alien practically purred like a cat and began to crawl along the floor on its belly, apparently wanting contact with the Doctor.

The Doctor smiled encouragingly, his eyes still wide and staring. His face was calm as he gently reached out to stroke the fur on the alien's head. The creature closed its eyes and actually sighed contently. Then, the Doctor, quiet as a mouse, turned to wards Martha and gestured her to bring the syringe to him. She did so, an impressed smile on her face.

"Well done," she mouthed to her friend and he nodded, his hand outstretched and she pressed the syringe into his palm. The Torchwood team looked on, fascinated by the events before them. They had watched the Time Lord transform a snarling, ferocious alien beast into a purring, sweet docile pet. Only Ianto still seemed unhappy. He glared at the Doctor with something akin to hatred and his eyes narrowed as he watched the Time Lord ruffle the alien's head. The anger burned within him as he glanced at his team mates. Why exactly were they so impressed by what they were seeing?

And why was he so goddamned maddened by it?

The Doctor took the syringe from Martha and looked back down at the now sleeping alien beneath him.

"I'm so sorry," he mumbled and then stabbed the needle into the creature's fur. The alien let out a howl of agony and shock before falling into the Doctor's lap and laying still. The Doctor continued to stroke the sleeping being's fur and whispered soft words of encouragement to it.

As Jack walked toward his friend, he was reminded of a dog owner fussing over his wounded pet. And, once again, not just the cleverness of the Time Lord awed him, but also his kindness. The Doctor truly cared about this creature as he would any and Jack was struck by the gentleness of the Gallifreyan.

"Doctor?" Jack whispered softly, his hand extended.

The Doctor looked up at the sound of his name and Jack was stunned to see how watery the Time Lord's eyes were.

"It's one of the Hannas tribe from the planet Aromis, Jack," the Doctor told him, softly. "They are such a peaceful race. And by the look of it, this one is not very old." The Time Lord's eyes narrowed. "I saw into his mind. He was utterly terrified of you and I don't blame him. The poor thing was probably on his first scouting trip with his family and must have been left behind." Leaving the Hannas to sleep peacefully, the Doctor got to his feet again with a sigh. "The first contact he had probably ever had with human beings was hostile, especially, I'm assuming, considering every man he saw was pointing a gun at him."

The Doctor frowned at Ianto. Ianto glared right back.

Mickey cleared his throat. "That would be UNIT, Doctor, not us. You know that. We were trying to help it."

The Doctor turned his cold gaze onto Mickey, instantly causing the young man to swallow hard and look away. "Okay, Mickey, yes. You were helping him. By trying to_ shoot _him?"

The Doctor looked at Jack, his anger growing. "Captain, I thought you promised me that Torchwood had changed, that your team were different, set up in my honour?"

Now it was Jack's turn to go red. "Doctor... I..."

"I have to tell you, Jack, that if this outfit really was put together in my name;" he paused, " then right now you should know that I'm ashamed."

The Captain visibly shook, the Doctor's words cutting him to the bone but the Doctor was too annoyed to notice. He stomped past the Torchwood team, refusing to meet Martha's displeased gaze, leaving all the humans to stare uncomfortably after him.

Gwen was the first to react. Her anger growing, she marched into the medical centre before Jack could stop her, walked quickly up to the Doctor and swung him round. The Doctor was clearly taken aback by her manner and he stared at her, unsure.

"Well, that was a self righteous speech," Gwen said, her tone low. The Doctor could see she was very unimpressed and he frowned.

"It needed to be said," he replied, hastily.

Gwen crossed her arms.

"You may well be right," she began. "But did you have to ram your point home so cruelly?

He shrugged. "Perhaps I did, yes."

Gwen bristled. "Do you know?" she asked him, now more frustrated. "Considering how you were about to LEAVE without even bothering with a goodbye to those who love you, you seriously need to get off of your alien high horse and realise that we aren't all powerful beings with the top technology to save the day."

Now it was the Doctor's turn to be embarrassed. He looked past Gwen and saw Jack and Martha stood in the doorway, both of them shocked and obviously disappointed. Beyond them, Ianto and Mickey were both looking towards the direction of Gwen and the Doctor. They had all heard her words and the Doctor was devastated.

Gwen was not satisfied though. She continued, "Sometimes we have to go by our gut instinct, Doctor. That's what makes us human. Ianto was trying to protect Martha, pure and simple. And you disapprove of that?"

The Doctor's eyes flashed. "Do I disapprove? Yes, actually I do. You and your guns and your violence. It's wrong!"

"Gwen!" Jack warned, knowing this needed to be broken up. "I need you're help with the Hannas, right now."

Gwen ignored her leader. She was fixated on the Doctor and her own need to make him understand. "Okay, I accept to you that Ianto was in the wrong. We all know that, he knows it the most and he is sorry. But at least he tried to do something." Now completely exasperated, she snapped; "_At least he didn't abandon his friends!_"

The Doctor flushed at this and looked down at the ground. Gwen, calming herself down, knew she had gone too far. She reached out and, meaning to apologise, tried to turn the Doctor back round to face her. The Doctor gasped, frightened and shoved out at Gwen in his fear, knocking her back roughly.

"Don't touch me!"

Gwen was thrown to the floor by force of his blow. Jack and Martha were stunned and the Doctor was horrified at his actions. "I'm sorry," he whispered but Gwen shook her head. She pulled herself to her feet painfully and glared at the Doctor, her eyes big and scared as she tried to control her breathing.

"You see?" she told him, softly. "We all make rash decisions. Our emotions get the better of all of us. Even you."

With that, she turned and hurried away. Jack was frowning as he regarded the Doctor, Martha was silent, her eyes never leaving the Time Lord's. The Doctor let out a big sigh, crossed the room and slumped down into a chair, his head in his hands. When he looked up again, Martha had left the room and Jack was watching the Time Lord closely. The Doctor glanced down at the floor, embarrassed by the Captain's scrutiny.

"I'm sorry," the Doctor said quietly.

"She's a tough cookie, she'll be fine," Jack replied.

"Not just for pushing Gwen," the Doctor continued, "but for what I said. I didn't mean it."

"I know," Jack whispered. He gestured through the door. "We're going to contact the Hannas home planet and ask them to send another scouting party to pick the poor little guy up."

The Doctor frowned. "I could take him in the TARDIS."

Jack smiled grimly. "Thanks but this is our mess, our problem. We'll sort it out."

The Doctor stuffed his hands into his pockets, his head bowed.

"Jack, I shouldn't have spoken to you like that before..." he began but Jack interrupted him.

"Thank you, Doctor."

The Doctor looked up, startled. "For what?"

"You calmed the Hannas down, you saved it or a member of my team from probably being seriously hurt so thank you for your help today."

The Doctor shook his head vigorously. "It was the least I could do for you Jack, after everything you've done for me." He lowered his voice. "And I don't just mean this week." He coughed. "And I should have said this a long time ago."

Jack was surprised by this sudden need on the Doctor's part to be honest. He watched the Doctor move closer to him and was even more stunned when the Time Lord took Jack's hand into his own and grasped it tightly.

"Thank you, Jack Harkness. For everything."

Jack, smiling, squeezed the Doctor's hand and grinned at him. Whatever it was that had caused the change in the Doctor's mood, he welcomed it. Finally, he released the Doctor's hand and the Doctor looked away, now slightly embarrassed by Jack's stare.

Jack cleared his throat. "We're going to put the Hannas somewhere comfortable while it's sleeping."

The Doctor looked round and raised an eyebrow. "You mean you're gonna lock him up?"

Jack frowned. "We have to be safe, Doctor. For his sake and ours."

The Doctor nods wearily. "I know that, Jack." He smiled approvingly. "And just so you know, I think you are doing a great job here and it can't have been easy for you. I'm proud of you."

Jack was gobsmacked. He wanted to throw his arms around the Doctor, pull him close and never let go. More than that, he wanted to kiss that handsome face and never stop, never say goodbye. But he knew that would never happen and he just had to face it. He just had to carry on.

He hesitated before asking, "Was Gwen telling the truth? Were you really going to leave without saying goodbye?"

The Doctor swallowed. "You already know the answer to that."

Jack turned to look at him, the betrayal he felt evident on his face. "You're not well enough to leave," he muttered.

"Yes I am," The Time Lord replied softly.

"But to leave without a word," Jack said, his voice strained. "Why?"

The Doctor thought for a moment, his eyes on Jack's. Finally, he replied, "The same reason I left you behind that day, Jack. I'm a coward."

Jack was stunned by the pure emotion in the Doctor's words. He went to step closer to the Time Lord but was stopped in his tracks when Ianto suddenly appeared in the door way behind him and called out to him.

"Jack, we could use your help with the Hannas."

Jack froze. He looked over his shoulder at Ianto and then back at the Doctor's saddened expression. Jack didn't want to leave the Time Lord, not now he was finally opening up to him.

The Doctor nodded encouragingly. "You go, Jack. Your team need you."

"You're staying here?" Jack said, worriedly.

The Doctor smile but the grin did not reach his eyes.

"I'll see you very soon, Jack."

Jack, still torn, gave the Doctor a small smile. "Ten minutes! I'll make sure the Hannas is comfortable, contact Aromis and deal with a very upset UNIT Brigadier that has apparently been on hold for half an hour." He smirked. "And then, I'll be right back, okay?"

The Doctor couldn't help but grin.

_Annoyed __Brigadiers__? He had experience in that area._

"Okay," the Doctor said and gave Jack a small wave. Jack chuckled and then raced out of the room, calling for Ianto to follow him. The Doctor and Ianto's eyes met for a split second, enough for the Doctor's blood to turn to ice when he felt the hatred the man felt for him. Then, without a word, Ianto turned and walked slowly after his leader.

The Doctor was left standing there, alone and tired and with only his own thoughts for company. He felt terrible and not just before of his aching and complaining body; he was still too weak to go through these dramas, but because of Jack, Martha, Mickey and all the guilt he still felt. He had let them all down at some time.

Jack, well, the way he had treated Jack had been simply evil. Abandoning him and leaving him to fend for himself when the human needed the Doctor more than anything. And the Doctor had carried on, forgetting the Captain because that made it easier for him to live with himself. And still, Jack loved him. The Doctor didn't deserve his love.

And then there was Martha, poor sweet Martha Jones, changed forever because of what he had put her through. He had seen her as second best from the beginning and had hurt her in more ways than he could ever make up for. She had walked the Earth for him and still he couldn't give her the thanks and the love she wanted and deserved. He was pitiful.

And, of course Mickey. He had thrown the poor man's life into chaos. Taken his girlfriend, basically stolen her away. Mickey had lost everything, the people he loved and still he was faithful to the Doctor. He was a better man than the Doctor had ever given him credit for.

And what of those who weren't with him now? What about Rose and Donna? He could never see them again. Sarah? She was better off without him. At least she had her own life now. Susan? His poor, poor Susan. Tegan and Jamie and all the others he had so badly let down. These people had loved him unconditionally and he could not return their love. What did that make him? As emotionless as a Cyberman? As cruel and evil as a Dalek? So weak that a savage human thug from the 1800s could bring him to his needs so literally and use the Doctor as he wished. Perhaps Saunders had been right. Perhaps that is all he was worth. Perhaps it was what he deserved.

The Doctor's thoughts turned to the one man he had felt so close to, it had felt right. Jackson. Was Jackson still waiting for him in that alley, believing he would return any moment. Would Jackson still want him when he found out how the Time Lords body had been used? The Doctor cringed. He couldn't stand to be rejected. But Jackson deserved the opportunity to make up his own mind. The Doctor wanted to go back. He had too. He wanted Jackson Lake.

The Doctor felt guilt threaten to consume him when he glanced over his shoulder at the main centre of the hub, just a few paces away. He had made his decision and this WAS fairer to Mickey, Martha and Jack. They didn't need him; they had their own lives, their own friends to concern themselves with. They didn't want him. He swallowed hard as he stared at the TARDIS before him.

This wasn't the last time he would see any of them anyway. He knew that for certain. Next time he would meet them, he would make it up to them. Yes, they would understand and forgive. This was for the best.

He clicked his fingers.

The TARDIS doors swung open and he walked up to the ever welcoming entrance to his home. As he got ever closer, he could feel the TARDIS tapping on his head, soothing him, she was always there for him. And she would take him back.

"Well, well."

A soft, spiteful chuckle from behind him brought the Doctor to a halt. He knew who had joined him in the room before he even turned around.

Ianto was smiling nastily at him. He turned, shut the door and locked it behind him. The Doctor saw this, panic growing inside of him. Ianto then walked further into the room until he was stood directly in front of the unnerved Time Lord. The Doctor couldn't help but shiver. There was something so cold and cruel about Ianto Jones – and the Doctor was scared of him. He took a step backwards, wanting to be as close to the TARDIS a possible.

"Didn't anyone ever tell you, Doctor?" The Welshman smirked, clearly enjoying the Doctor's discomfort.

"Running away never solves anything."

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

**Hi everyone. Sorry this has taken me a long time to update again, this was another toughie to write and I'm still very busy at the moment. This is a really long chapter though so I hope you all enjoy it! Before I get flamed, I do realise that Ianto is very OOC in this. There is a reason for that which will become clear next chapter so stick with me! Also, warnings this time - there is sexual abuse, violence and very strong language so skip this one if you're easily squicked. It's not nice!**

Thanks to: **Kyer** (The Doctor does have the same idea as you, only problem is Ianto isn't a moron! Thanks for commenting, hope you enjoy this one and comment again!); **Templa Otmena** (You know, I find the Doctor's holier than thou attitude really interesting, especially since he's not excatly whiter than white himself. I guess that being the last of such a powerful species would go to his head! :) I love writing him, he's fascinating. Ianto is nasty and about to get nastier.. it wasn't very nice to write! Hope you enjoy, let me know!; **GwenxxOwen** (You do get through your pennames (and pairings!) don't you! Thanks for all the support you give me, you are brilliant and I look forward to your comments each time! Got to say though, get ready to kill Ianto! Ianto _is_ a bit like Saunders, evil and cruel... they aren't related no but there is a reason for Ianto's behaviour, I wonder if anyone will guess! Thanks for all the supprt, enjoy this chapter!); **OperationBlueSky** (Thanks so much, you made me blush this time! Hope you think this update is up to the usual standard, it was a real hard one to write. Ianto isn't usually this cruel but it has been fun writing him like this, I must say! Not much fun for the Doctor though... things are getting easier for him anytime soon. Hope you like and looking forward to your next review!); **Cosmical Madison** (Thanks for reviewing again, I'm glad you are enjoying the fic and I hope you like this chapter too. Ianto is evil here but there is a big reason, there are hints here as to what that is but I'll reveal it next time! And the Doctor is in for a really tough time and I hate myself for putting him through it but I promise it will get better for him soon. He's so strong, he's a tough cookie!)

You guys are the best! Please keep commenting!

Also, thanks to my brilliant beta for all her hard work. I couldn't do this without her. Thanks CSG1!

Okay, onwards! Enjoy!

**A Christmas to Remember**

**Part 10**

Ianto moved further into the room, closing the gap between himself and the Doctor. The Time Lord's eyes didn't leave the Welshman's. The Doctor did not like or understand the coldness and cruelty he saw there and his concern was growing. What exactly had he done to Ianto Jones? Until two days ago, he'd never even met the young man.

Deciding that a swift retreat was the best course of action, the Doctor turned and hurried towards his TARDIS, to safety. Just as he was in touching distance of his ship, he was shocked to find himself shoulder barged away from the TARDIS and he crashed into a nearby table, only just managing to stay on his feet. Breathing hard and his side now aching from the collision, the Doctor turned to see that Ianto was standing in the entrance to the TARDIS, his hands on either side of the doors and whistling impressively at the sight before him.

"Wow," he muttered. "I can see why Jack wanted to stay. It's a fantastic craft." He glanced over his shoulder at the Doctor. "How does it work, then?"

The Doctor didn't respond, mainly because he wasn't quite sure how to. This man had just hurt him and now he was congratulating him on his ship? It made no sense. He stayed where he was, leaning against the table, his double heart beat thumping in his chest.

Ianto shook his head in wonder. "Just how big is it?" he asked, his tone still inquisitive and friendly. "Just how many rooms are there?"

Still, the Doctor said nothing. Ianto turned and smirked at the silent Time Lord.

"Mind if I have a better look?"

The Doctor blinked. "Yes, I do actually."

Ianto chuckled. It was not a nice sound.

"Oh well, never mind," he replied, and took a step inside the time machine. Suddenly, he was shoved backwards by an unseen force that almost knocking the wind out of his body and the door was slammed shut in his face. Ianto could only stand there, staring at the now very shut door before him.

He spun back round and stormed up to the Doctor.

"What the Hell was that?" he demanded, his face red with annoyance.

The Doctor shrugged. "Well, I'd have a guess and say that the TARDIS doesn't like you much."

Ianto glowered and leaned in closer. "Okay, right. Or maybe, _you_ did it."

At that, the Doctor smiled. "Maybe." He dug his hands into his pockets. "Though the TARDIS can make up her own mind about people, you know. She tends to be a very good judge of character."

Ianto's eyes narrowed. The Doctor could tell that the young man desperately wanted to hit him and was just about controlling himself. After a hard fought battle to keep his temper, Ianto turned and walked away from the Doctor, without another word. He headed to another desk and pulled open the top drawer.

The Doctor glanced towards the nearby locked door. Maybe if he made a run for it? Only, the young man had already proved himself surprisingly fast and strong and the Doctor was still weakened from his attack. It may not be a good idea to take a risk.

As if reading his mind and with his back to the Time Lord, Ianto whispered; "You'll never make it to the door, you know."

The Doctor frowned. "Why did you lock it?"

Ianto said nothing. He continued to search around in the table, softly humming to himself.

_Is he insane? _the Doctor considered**.** _And what exactly is his problem with me?_

"Where's Jack and the rest of the team?" the Doctor offered, his eyes flicking again to the TARDIS.

"Still downstairs dealing with the Hannas," came the short reply.

"Don't they need you?"

There was no answer.

The Doctor took a deep breath. "Do you mind if I ask you a question, Ianto?"

Ianto turned and faced him.

"Ask away, Doctor," he said, with a sneer.

"You obviously don't like me," the Time Lord said, softly. "Why did you stop me from leaving?"

Ianto smiled and the Doctor was chilled to his core. He took a nervous step towards the TARDIS and Ianto's smile grew ever wider.

"You'll never make it that way either," he taunted. "But it will be fun to watch you try."

The Doctor had heard enough. Exasperated, he snapped, "Why are you doing this?"

Ianto glared. "I have my reasons."

"Which are?"

"Do you remember the war?" Ianto threw at him, his eyes cold. "The war at Canary Wharf?"

The Doctor had to look away from the frosty glare. He had expected this. Gwen had mentioned that Ianto had worked for Torchwood One, in the days of Yvonne Hartman, when the Daleks and Cybermen had clashed. He knew there had been so many human casualties that day. He himself had barely got away with his life. And he had lost so much during that terrible time. He sympathised with Ianto and knew his story would be a heartbreaking one. But the Doctor had a few of those of his own.

When he once more met Ianto's gaze, his expression was defiant.

"Of course I remember that war," he told the young man. "I'll never forget it."

Ianto chuckled. "Oh, that surprises me. Because, from what I remember of the great Doctor that day, you left pretty damn sharpish once the Daleks and Cybermen had disappeared." His tone lowered. "You should have stayed with us. _You could have helped_."

The Doctor sighed. He stepped closer to the clearly devastated boy.

"I had to leave. I had no choice."

"Oh no, I'm sure. And to Hell with all of us! To Hell with those of us left behind, dead or dying." His voice broke. "Or in between." Ianto turned his back on the Doctor. He refused to let the Time Lord see him cry.

Choosing to ignore his instincts to stay away from the troubled man, the Doctor walked up behind him and placed his hand on Ianto's shoulder, hoping to offer him some sort of comfort. He knew Ianto was suffering and in need of help. He was annoyed that Jack had left this situation to fester. He must have known about Ianto's past, why had the Captain not done more to aid his friend and, apparently, his lover?

"I'm sorry, Ianto. I know how much this hurts..."

At those words, the red haze once more descended and Ianto spun round, shoving the Doctor and his caring touch away.

"You don't know anything! You waltz in, you help and then, you leave! No cares or troubles in the world. _What have you ever lost_?"

The Doctor's eyes flashed. Ianto couldn't help but recoil away from the Time Lord. For a split second, the alien shone of true power and Ianto was unnerved.

"I've lost everything," the Doctor told him, his voice no louder than a whisper. "My planet, my people, all of my friends." He glanced down. "Even her." He leaned in close to Ianto, his eyes unblinking. "I have nothing left."

"You have Jack!" Ianto yelled. "And Martha and Mickey." He snorted. "Maybe if you'd look up once in a while, you'd notice them. But I guess they just aren't that important are they?"

The Doctor couldn't take any more.

"Jack is with _you_," he shot back, exasperated. "He's belongs here."

Ianto clenched his fists. "_But he loves you._"

The Doctor was at a loss for words. There was just no getting through to this boy. Humans could be so stubborn when they wanted to be! And this young man, now watching the Time Lord with such hatred and the Doctor still couldn't really understand why.

For Jack's sake, he tried again.

"Listen to me, Ianto," he beseeched. "I know you're upset and confused. You think Jack will leave with me but you're wrong. Jack knows what it means to have responsibilities. His place is here, with his team, with you."

Ianto said nothing for a short time. He seemed to digest the Doctor's words, thinking carefully about what his would next be. The Doctor dared to hope that he had finally managed to reassure the Welshman.

Ianto began to chuckle. Then, he threw back his head and laughed heartily. The Doctor was both surprised and unnerved by the sound. He stood, watching the other man carefully, beginning to genuinely fear for Ianto Jones's sanity.

Finally, Ianto grew still. He took a step towards the Doctor and took great pleasure in seeing the alien back off.

"I have to say, Doctor, you were so much more impressive the last time I saw you."

The Doctor was confused.

"On the scanner?"

"Oh no. In Torchwood One, before all Hell broke loose. Lots of us who worked for Torchwood desperately wanted to catch a glimpse of you. The famous Doctor." He tone was mocking and the Doctor was growing more uncomfortable with every passing second. "You were feared by all of us but somehow revered at the same time." He grinned. "What went wrong?"

The Time Lord swallowed. "Jack will be back soon," he said, warningly. "Let's put this behind us, Ianto. Please. For Jack."

Ianto tutted. "_Now_ you care about Jack. And so recently you were going to run off without a second thought for him."

"That's not true!"

Ianto ignored the Doctor's protests. "Why _were_ you in such a hurry to head off?"

The Doctor let out a big sigh. What point was there in him replying? He was so tired. This conversation was going nowhere quickly and the Doctor was wasting time. There was no helping Ianto Jones. The boy had issues and it wasn't the Doctor's duty to guide him through them. Ianto was Jack's problem, the Doctor had his own troubles.

With a shake of his head, the Time Lord began to march past Ianto, striding toward his TARDIS. His hand groped around in his pocket for the key. It was time to move on. He avoided Ianto's gaze.

"Doctor," Ianto drawled disapprovingly, his arms crossed over his chest. "Jack will be very disappointed."

The Doctor didn't bother to reply.

"Who are you going back to, Doctor?"

The Doctor paused in front of the doorway and glanced over his shoulder. "None of your business," he told Ianto and then placed the key in the lock.

"Tell me!" Ianto snarled. "I seriously recommend that you tell me."

The Doctor frowned.

He had the chance to whisper; "Goodbye Ianto," before he was hit by a blazing light that lit up the room around him. Then, the pain came. It was so intense, so agonising that the Doctor lost control of his limbs. He knew he was screaming but could hear no sound, knew he was falling to the ground. The TARDIS was so close to him, he could sense her gentle touch and feel her concern and fear for him. But all he cared about was the all consuming agony and his silent prayers for it to end. Soon, he was clawing at the floor before him, desperately trying to escape the torture he was enduring but he was trapped by the unseen force. As everything began to fade to black, the Doctor's last thought was how relieved he was that his suffering was over. At last, he lay still.

Ianto approached the unconscious Doctor slowly, whistling a satisfied tune. The weapon he had used on the Time Lord was clasped in his hand, one of the many alien devices the Torchwood team had found on their missions. Okay, so Jack would not be impressed if he knew Ianto had kept the items but what the Captain didn't know, wouldn't hurt him. He looked down at the Doctor. Ianto was confused. Why was he feeling so pleased? As the Doctor had screamed soundlessly, such unadulterated joy had hit the young Welshman, it had warmed his insides. He knew how much pain he was causing but he didn't want to stop. In fact, he was certain that he could have killed the Doctor. But all through this, there was that tiny little part of him, the voice he chose to ignore, telling him to stop and always asking the same question:

_What am I doing?_

He wanted _that_ stupid voice to shut up. He never listened to it. It was weak. Why shouldn't he have some revenge? He was entitled to it after everything he had experienced. Torchwood One, losing Lisa and his constant worry that he could lose Jack any day. One day, the Doctor would come for his Captain and Jack would go with him. And Ianto would never see Jack Harkness again.

Ianto would not let that happen. That was why what he was doing was necessary.

And besides, the Doctor was only an alien. It's wasn't as if he had any rights. Actually, he was an enemy of Torchwood. Just because Jack was taken in by his sharp wit and wide grin, Ianto was wise enough to knew better. He was employed to fight alien threats. He would do his job.

The Doctor stirred. Ianto glanced down and was pleased to see the Time Lord had awoken. The Doctor moaned weakly and Ianto grinned coldly. Now, the fun would begin.

He crouched down beside the Doctor and held the gun-like device to the Doctor's head.

"Do you know what this is?" Ianto asked.

The Doctor could only whimper in response. Ianto shrugged.

"It's a Time Distorter. I found it in a shop, of all places. I did some research on it and discovered its blast was quite painful for Time Sensitives. Like you. Would you believe it?"

He laughed. The Doctor was cringing away from his touch and the Welshman was revelling in his fear.

"I'll ask again, Doctor. Why are you desperate to go back to 1851?"

Again, his hard efforts got him no reward. The Doctor was being annoyingly stubborn.

Ianto charged up the Distorter and lightly touched the trigger. The Doctor held up a weak hand to save himself the next wave of pain. He had no choice but to answer.

"To.. see.. a.. friend.." he stammered. "I.. left..a..friend..there.."

"Which friend?" Ianto demanded.

The Doctor flushed. "Jackson," he whispered.

"_Who_?"

"Jackson.. Lake..." He coughed. "His.. name.. is.. Jackson."

Ianto raised an eyebrow.

"Special friend is he?"

"Yes," came the quiet reply.

Ianto's eyes grew wide. "Well, that's a surprise," Ianto mused. Then, he added, "Won't Jack just _love_ that?"

The Doctor flinched.

"Let.. me.. go.." he murmured, feeling his strength slowly returning. "_Please_... Just let me leave."

If Ianto had heard him, he didn't show it.

"Who attacked you?"

The Doctor blinked. What concern was that of Ianto's?

Ianto crouched down beside him.

"Who was it?" A pause. "Tell me."

"No."

Ianto raised the Distorter once more. The Doctor flinched.

"This hurts, doesn't it?" Ianto said, almost kindly.

The Time Lord nodded.

"You don't want me use it on you again, do you Doctor?"

Shame coursed through the Time Lord. The problem was, Ianto was quite right. He couldn't go through that pain again. He swallowed his pride, looked up at Ianto and shook his head.

"That's better," Ianto said happily. "Now, what was his name? Who was the human who brought the mighty Time Lord crashing to his knees? Literally!" He chortled at his own "joke."

Taking a deep breath first, the Doctor replied; "Benjamin Saunders. His name was Benjamin Saunders."

Ianto smiled. "And what did he do to you?"

The Doctor was appalled.

"You know what he did," he retorted.

"I want to hear you say it," Ianto sneered. "Come on, what did he do?"

The Doctor couldn't say it. He wouldn't. He didn't want to face this, not now, not like this. He could have told Jack maybe, in time, or Jackson. But not Ianto. Not someone who hated him as much as this young man clearly did. So, he said nothing.

This time, Ianto didn't hesitate. He pointed the distorter at the Doctor once more and fired. The Doctor was caught again in the same yellow glow. He threw back his head and screamed, still making no noise. His whole body writhed in agony. He couldn't speak, couldn't move.

Ianto lowered the device and the pain went away. The Doctor lay there gasping, looking up at Ianto with something akin to betrayal. Ianto smirked.

"Do you want me to do that again?"

The Doctor whimpered. The sound was music to Ianto's ears. The strangest thing was, he still didn't know why.

Right at that moment though, he didn't care why.

"I asked you..." he began, waving the distorter carelessly.

The Doctor reacted quickly, reaching up and grabbing Ianto's hand. "No.. I.. please.."

"Then answer me!" Ianto urged him, swatting the Doctor's hand away.

The Doctor began to sob sotly. Silent tears ran down his face.

"I was raped," he muttered so quietly that Ianto had to lean in to hear him. "They held me down and they took turns to defile and use my body." He closed his eyes in humiliation. "They raped me."

Ianto smiled coldly. He stood upright and took a step ever closer to the devastated Doctor.

"What a good idea."

XXX

Martha was leaning against a wall, a finger placed on her lips, her thoughts a million miles away from the Hub and her current duties involving the poor Hannas. She was up in space once more with the Doctor, nothing but blackness and the wonder of the next adventure they would face as the TARDIS flew them past the stars. Nothing had been in their way. It had been just her and the Doctor and his wonderful time machine and her life had been perfect. Dangerous? Yes. But always thrilling. And she had chosen to give all that up. She had given the Doctor up. Did she regret her decision that day? The day she had saved the world? No. She knew she had left the Doctor for the right reasons. Too look after her devastated family and to save her own sanity. If she had remained with the Doctor, travelling and allowing him to show her all those amazing sights then she would never have moved on, never could have accepted that her desires would never be fulfilled.

And now, the Doctor was back in her life. And as much as she tried to deny it to herself, those feelings had returned to her in full. She loved the Doctor; there was no kidding herself or anyone else. The only difference being that she now understood that the Doctor could never love her back. Not because of Rose; the Doctor had certainly had feelings for the other girl but he had let her go, he couldn't even settle down with his true love. No, what prevented the Doctor from settling down with _anyone_ was himself – perhaps he believed deep down he didn't deserve happiness?

And as Gwen had announced to them all in her anger, the Doctor had wanted to run away from Jack, Mickey and herself, without one word of thanks or goodbye. And to Martha's surprise, she wasn't surprised or even offended. All Martha wanted was for the Doctor to find some happiness and if he could find that happiness he so deserves in 1851 then how could Martha not let him go?

Martha had quickly realised upon meeting the Doctor again that she no longer wanted him in a sexual way; their relationship was now so much deeper than that. She just wanted to be near him, to be his friend and to have him know that he could trust her. She imagined that he had lost a large amount of faith in humanity after all he had been through. And there was the nagging thought in Martha's mind that if she had never left him, if she had stayed with him and travelled on, then he would not have been alone that day when that bastard attacked him. Martha closed her eyes, trying to fight back the tears. Someone should have been there for him. They had all let him down.

"Martha?"

Martha opened her eyes to find Mickey standing beside her, watching her intently. She looked down shyly and hurriedly dried her eyes.

"Is Jack still on the phone?" she asked him, wishing he would stop staring.

Mickey nodded. He was frowning. "Yep. Seems UNIT are seriously miffed this time. They want Jack to release the Hannas into their custody at once."

Martha shook her head. "I wish I'd never worked for them," she muttered.

Mickey rolled his eyes. "It gets better," he continued and a chill went up the girl's spine. "They want the Doctor too."

Martha froze. "What?" She stammered, not quite able to believe Mickey's words.

"Turns out they know he's here and they don't want him working with us. They reckon Torchwood and the Doctor are a lethal combination." Mickey's words were filled with hatred. "UNIT are sending soldiers to pick up both the Hannas and the Doctor within the hour."

Martha was in complete shock. "But," she mumbled, "UNIT are friends with the Doctor, they've known him for years. He used to work for them, for God's sake!"

Mickey shrugged. "Long time ago. Things have changed. They want to keep tabs on the Doctor apparently." He sighed with exasperation. "They think it's their right. They talk as if he's their property. It's almost as if they're jealous."

"But Jack," Martha said, incredulously. "He can't be agreeing to this?"

Mickey smiled grimly.

"He told them he would fight them with his last breath and as you and I know, that will be a long fight. He'll never let them take the Doctor."

Realisation slowly dawned on Martha. She lowered her head in sorrow and took a deep breath. "He'll have to leave us, won't he?"

Mickey didn't know what to say. He nodded.

"And he should take the Hannas. He should take it home."

"That was Jack's idea too."

Martha let out a quiet sob. "He came to us for protection."

Mickey swallowed hard. "I know."

She reached out for him and he automatically held out his own hands to embrace her. Just as their hands met, both of them reeled back in shock. In that moment, they had both sensed a telepathic link with the TARDIS. And she was distressed.

The message was loud and clear:

"_Help the Doctor. You must help him. He needs you. Please._"

As the voice in their heads faded away, Martha and Mickey were both left staring at one another in shock. They stood there, trying to work out what had just happened and digesting the words they had heard. They opened their mouths to speak at the same time, when suddenly a voice boomed out from a few feet away from them.

"You heard the TARDIS," he snapped at them. "The Doctor needs us. Don't just stand there staring. Move."

They gaped at Jack, who turned his back on them and ran, heading toward the medical centre. Martha and Mickey saw Gwen had been standing behind Jack, clearly confused by the whole situation. With a perplexed glance to the others, she quickly followed Jack. Martha and Mickey only waited one more second. They exchanged a look of panic before hurrying after Gwen and the Captain.

XXX

Ianto stood perfectly still, showing no emotion as the Doctor once more writhed at his feet, bathed in the cruel fiery glow. Wracked with tremors and his face trapped in a silent scream, Ianto was certain that although the Doctor's gaze was locked onto his, the Time Lord was unable to focus on him. The Doctor appeared to be in true agony and he was fading fast. Ianto found himself wondering how much more torment the Doctor could take and could Ianto really just stand there and watch the man die.

Ianto took a wary glance over his shoulder. He knew his time would soon be up and Jack would come flying in at any moment to save the day and his precious Doctor. Rage flowed through Ianto once again. Oh yes, Jack would do anything for his Doctor. The same Doctor that discarded Jack so easily after the Time Agent had sacrificed everything for the alien. The image of Jack alone and terrified whilst the Doctor laughed and giggled his way around the universe with his pretty little companion, it made Ianto actually feel that he could kill. And if he just kept the Time Distorter's glow on the Doctor for a few more minutes, he was sure that he would achieve his desire.

The Time Lord deserved this fate. Of that, Ianto was certain. Why he felt so much anger and why that fury was then causing him to act so out of his character, Ianto was unsure - but he knew that his actions were justified. The Doctor was guilty of so much evil. He had abandoned Jack. He had hurt Martha and Mickey – had been the cause of the death of millions including all of his friends at Torchwood One, including his beautiful Lisa. He wanted to hurt the Doctor back, to make him understand that there were consequences for his actions, consequences he usually ran off and allowed others to face.

Well, not any more. Whatever else Ianto know, he knew he hated the Doctor and he wanted him to pay. Ianto felt a thrill deep inside. After everything the Time Lord had seen and defeated, it was a mere lowly human that had stopped him.

"_Be proud."_

Ianto smiled. The voice that only he could hear. He loved that voice.

"_Make him suffer further. It's too quick and clean an ending for a creature that has caused so much hurt and harm to so many._

Ianto nodded. The voice was right, of course. The voice was always right.

He switched off the Time Distorter and tossed it down onto the table beside him. The Doctor was remained unmoving, his body still twitching from the after effects of the mind numbing pain. Very slowly and painfully, the Time Lord opened his eyes and stared up pleadingly at Ianto.

"No more."

Ianto laughed. "Look at you. Look at what you've become."

The Doctor couldn't reply, even trying to speak burned his throat. With much effort, he rolled over onto his side and lay there, trying to block out the pain and Ianto's cruel mocking.

"You are nothing, Doctor. You could rule this planet if you wanted, a being as powerful as you. And what do you choose instead? Slavery. That's all you do, you run after humans clearing up their messes or getting them out of trouble." Ianto smirked. "And where has it led you too? Saunders used you as a whore. I've tortured you within an inch of your tenth life. You could have been treated like a God but no, you were just too _good _for that!"

The Doctor was breathing loudly, his eyes locked on Ianto.

The human leaned closer to the Doctor. "What are you worth now, Time Lord? Your planet? Gone. Your people? Gone. Martha and Jack? Better off without you. Donna? Free of you and happy in her ignorance. Even the wonderful Rose gained her own pet version of you and has moved on. Only _you_ remain. Sad, lost and alone. _Forever_."

The Doctor fought back tears. He would not show Ianto have much distress his words were causing.

Glaring, the Doctor asked; "How do you know so much about me?"

Ianto chuckled. "I worked for the original Torchwood, remember? The Torchwood _you_ destroyed." He gave the Doctor a vicious kick. "A Torchwood that knew how alien scum like you should be treated." He grabbed the Doctor's hair and forced the Time Lord to look up at him. "And you, the great Doctor. Our target number one." He released the Doctor who slumped back to the ground. "Why did we bother, huh?"

The voice, his conscious he had reasoned, spoke again, clear and encouraging;

"_Punish him further, Ianto. Own him completely. He is yours for the taking_."

Ianto was confused. Surely the voice couldn't mean for him to assault the Doctor?

"_Take him."_

"No," Ianto murmured. "I am not a rapist."

"_Use him. Do it. Enjoy him. You have the right. Take what Jack cannot ever have."_

The Doctor was watching Ianto closely. Was the young man arguing with himself? The Doctor frowned, wondering for the first time if there was more to Ianto's actions than simple jealousy and cruelty.

"Ianto," the Doctor offered and the young man eyed him with dislike. "Please, stop this. It isn't you."

Ianto glared. "You don't know me."

"I know Jack." the Doctor replied. "And I know he could never love anyone capable of doing something like this."

Ianto swallowed hard. He saw Jack in his minds eye, clearly disappointed and disgusted by his boyfriend's actions. Was he doing the wrong thing? Why was he even hurting the Doctor anyway? What had the Time Lord done to him? Panic hit Ianto. What the Hell was he doing?

"_Stay strong. You must have no regrets, Ianto," _the voice whispered soothingly_. "He's using your love for Jack against you. Don't let him. You are about to experience something Jack never will, never can. Think of your Captain, Ianto. Think of him as you take his precious Doctor's body."_

"But rape?" Ianto asked. The Doctor looked up sharply. Sweat began to pour down his brow. No. Not again.

"_Do not be afraid. I am with you. We shall do this together. Now, __**take your prize**__!"_

Ianto's cold stare returned to gaze upon the Doctor only now he was regarding him with lust and cruel desire. The Doctor shivered and Ianto edged closer to him, his face breaking out into an evil grin. He knelt down beside the Doctor, reached for the alien's belt and began to unfasten it.

"Ianto!" The Doctor was desperate. He had to get through to the lad, somehow. "Please. Fight it, whatever it is. You don't want to do this!"

Ianto shrugged. "Thing is though Doctor, I really do." He hurriedly removed the Time Lord's belt and threw it aside, pulled down the Doctor's trousers and underwear and without warning, shoved a finger inside the alien's hole, preparing him. The Doctor, terrified and unable to contain his fear, arched his back and screamed. He shoved out at Ianto wearily, trying to force the young man away but it was pointless, he was too tired, in too much pain and Ianto easily knocked away his struggles. The human inserted a second finger and then a third, stretching the Doctor, uncaring about the searing pain the alien was suffering. He couldn't wait to be inside him, to possess the body of the great Time Lord. Ianto had never felt such a feeling of control and importance – to have such power over another man, it was intoxicating. Of course, this was no ordinary man. This was Jack's wondeful Doctor. The Doctor that Jack would eventually leave Ianto for. Oh, how sweet this moment would be.

Ianto stopped abruptly, pulling his fingers out of the terrorized Doctor. He frowned and stood, looking towards the only door. Then, with a quiet sigh, he reached into the Doctor's pocket and pulled out his sonic screwdriver. He stared down at it for a second, having no idea what it was but impossibly, he knew how to work it. The voice told him how. He moved to the door quickly, activated the screwdriver and locked it. He liked the humming sound that emitted from the device. It soothed him somehow. He then turned his attention to the glass surrounding the room, hurriedly sealing each plane of glass just as Jack and his team came running towards the medical bay. They arrived at the door just as Ianto had finished sealing himself and the Doctor inside. There was no way anyone was getting in or out of that room.

"Ianto!" Jack shouted. "What are you doing? Open the door! Open the door right now!"

Ianto merely grinned at Jack in response. His eyes met Martha's and he blew her a kiss. Then he returned to the prone Doctor, ignoring the questions, pleadings and threats being screamed at him by all of his friends.

The four horrified Torchwood members were forced to watch as their colleague lifted the Doctor thighs, placing the Time Lord's legs over his shoulder. Jack covered his mouth in disgust as Ianto slammed forward, entering the Doctor with one powerful thrust. The Doctor cried out. Gwen turned away, unable to watch. Tears flowed down Martha's cheeks. This could not be happening. This had to be a nightmare. Jack raised his gun and began to shoot at the glass but the bullets rebounded from it easily. Mickey touched his arm. "There's nothing we can do, Jack." In shock, Jack stared at his friend. The Doctor continued to scream as Ianto pounded into him. All they could do was watch this horrific scene unfold.

"Please, help me!"

The sound of the Doctor crying out, begging for aid, sent Jack over the edge. He began to elbow charge the door until he had used up all his strength. Mickey made no attempt to stop him. All the blood had drained from Mickey Smith's face. He knew he would never be able to live with what he was seeing; it would be etched onto his mind forever. Martha closed her eyes, unable to watch anymore. Gwen placed her arms around the younger woman, offering comfort.

They were all useless. They couldn't help the Doctor.

Ianto had fallen into a steady rhythm. This felt unbelievable. The Doctor was so tight. Ianto had forgotten his brutal attack on the Doctor was being witnessed by the rest of his team, that didn't concern him. All he cared about was reaching his climax.

The voice was also not yet satisfied.

"_Possess him completely, Ianto. Join with him. You know how."_

Ianto did know. He touched the Doctor's face and opened his own mind. Within seconds, he had entered the Time Lord's head. He could feel the Doctor's fear, terror and horror at what was being done to him. At what Ianto was doing to him. The Welshmen stopped. Wait, no, Ianto wasn't on top of the Doctor, another man was. There were three all together, each using the Doctor, hurting him, raping him, mocking him. He could feel the shame the Doctor was experiencing, knew how belittled the men had made him feel. Ianto watched as the three men took it in turns to force themselves upon the Doctor. They took him from behind, they forced him to take their penises into his mouth and suck them until they came and they laughed as he had vomited their disgusting "gifts" all over the floor. They had kicked and beat him and the Doctor had wanted to die. Not regenerate because he would still have to remember. No, he had prayed for death. And watching all this unfolding, Ianto suddenly found a new emotion surging through him.

Despair.

He was appalled by what he was now seeing. These scenes were horrific. The Doctor had suffered so much, these men were animals. And now Ianto was no better than them! He snapped open his eyes and gazed around the room, disgusted by what he had just seen. The voice inside him was now silent and he was glad. He looked down at the Time Lord and was revolted to find that he was still inside the poor broken man. And that was what had suddenly dawned on Ianto. The Doctor may not be human but he was still a living being. He still deserved to be treated with respect. Ianto had never felt such revulsion. He hated himself. What the Hell had he been doing? He pulled his now flaccid penis out of the Doctor as gently but quickly as possible, desperate not to cause the Doctor any more unnecessary pain.

Blinking back tears, he pulled up his own trousers and then did the same to the Doctor's, not wanting the Doctor to be anymore humiliated. Blood quickly stained the pin striped trousers and Ianto couldn't bear to look at them. The Doctor coughed, indicating for Ianto to move closer to him. The Welshmen almost tripped in his eagerness to obey.

The Doctor was moaning in agony. He pulled Ianto to him and whispered into his ear.

"Why?"

Ianto let out a pained sob. "I... don't know. I'm sorry. "

The Doctor released him, crying out as his body spasmed.

Ianto felt sick. He hated himself.

"I'm so sorry." He whispered pitifully and instantly regretted it. As if his apologies could help the Doctor now. What good could he do?

The Doctor lay there, one hand covering his eyes though Ianto was well aware the Time Lord was crying.

Wanting to give the Doctor some privacy, Ianto stood; turned and met the accusing stares of his friends who were watching him carefully through the glass. He could see the shock and disgust on each of their faces. How could they ever move on from this? He knew he was finished; not only with the Torchwood team, the people who had come to be his closest friends and allies, but also with Jack. The man he loved more than life itself. And he had lost all of it. Ianto's gaze met Jack's and he recoiled from the hate he saw there. He knew in that moment that Jack would never forgive him. And he knew he would get exactly what he deserved.

"Open the door!" Jack suddenly yelled, slamming his fist against the glass. "Open the fucking door now, Ianto!"

Ianto's blood ran cold but he hurried to obey. Remembering he had placed that strange screwdriver of the Doctor's in his pocket, he reached down and pulled it out, looking at it with dismay. He had no idea how to use it, any knowledge he had before had disappeared.

Ianto was afraid. What had happened to him? How had he known so much about the Doctor? He had never taken that much notice of the Time Lord at Torchwood One. A shiver ran through the young man. That darkness that had taken hold of him, where had it come from? A groan from the Doctor brought Ianto back to the real world. Now was not the time to be concerned with his own problems, he had to get help for the Time Lord and there was no more time to waste.

Ianto cleared his throat. "Doctor?" He asked, softly. "I don't know how to use this."

The Doctor glanced at him. "Interesting," he croaked, "you seemed to be an expert a few minutes ago."

Ianto cringed. "I have no damn clue how I did all that before, Doctor." He looked down, ashamed. "Please, I have to let Jack and the others in here. Please tell me how to open the door?"

The Doctor held out a hand. Ianto understood and threw the screwdriver to the Time Lord and he caught it impressively. The Doctor set the sonic and then returned it to Ianto, who snatched at it, dropping the device to the floor. He scrambled to pick it up, his face turning redder by the second. He knew the Doctor's unwavering stare was on him the whole time. He wondered what the Time Lord could see.

"Point the sonic as the lock, Ianto, and press the button," the Doctor told him calmly but weakly. He was fading fast. Ianto did as he was told, holding the screwdriver out and nudging the button on the front. He heard that familiar high pitched, whistling sound and then the door was unlocked. Ianto only had a few seconds to feel pleased at the completion of his task as he soon found himself punched repeatedly in the face and gut and slammed up against a wall with a gun lodged against his temple. Jack was speechless with anger, his finger tightening on the trigger. Ianto could only stare at his raging lover, not able to find any words that could perhaps save his life. What did he have the right to say? He deserved to die after what he had done that day.

Jack hesitated. He wanted to do it. This was not the Ianto Jones he had connected with so completely, not the man he had taken to his bed with joy. No, this was a cold hearted stranger who could rape a defenceless, weakened man for his own sexual enjoyment. As far as Jack was concerned, Ianto Jones was dead and this bastard would soon join him, whoever he was. Jack would not allow anyone to hurt the Doctor. There would be no exceptions.

This was an execution. Nothing more. Jack could not let his emotions hold him back.

He was surprised to find that he could not meet Ianto eyes as he prepared to fire.

"Jack!"

The Captain hesitated. He was suddenly aware that there were others in the room apart from himself and Ianto. Mickey was stood behind Jack, his own gun raised, not taking his eyes off of Ianto. Martha and Gwen were perched either side of the Doctor, both of them trying to offer him comfort. The Doctor was very pale and unmoving. Martha had hold of his hand and was stroking his hair, her face was wet with tears. Gwen was whispering softly into the Doctor's ear, telling him he was okay, that everything would be fine and that they were there with him. Jack's heart went out to the two girls. They were stronger than he was.

"Jack," Martha snapped. "I need you. The Doctor needs you. We have to get him up on the bed so I can see how bad this is." Her eyes narrowed when Jack did not move away from Ianto or lower his gun. "He can wait, Jack!" Martha stormed. "The Doctor can't!"

Jack released Ianto and pulled away from him. Leaving Mickey to guard their prisoner, Jack raced to the Doctor's side. As he reached the Doctor though, the Doctor, his eyes slightly open, drew away from Harkness, raised an unsteady hand and gasped; "Saunders no. Please, don't."

Jack stopped dead and exchanged worried looks with Martha. It was obvious to them who this Saunders person was and why the Doctor was now trembling. Jack threw Ianto a murderous look once again before helping the Doctor to stand and supporting him over to his bed.

Martha and Gwen stood side by side, watching as Jack basically carried the Doctor across the room, their hearts aching. Once the Doctor was lying down, his hand clutching onto Jack as if his life depended on it, Martha marched over to Ianto and slapped him hard across the face.

Ianto mumbled his usual apologies, well aware of how inconsequential they sounded.

"You'd better be sorry," Martha threw back at him. "Because if you've done serious damage to the Doctor, you have no idea just how much Jack will make you pay."

He moaned. Her eyes narrowed further.

"And when he's done with you, it'll be my turn."

TBC


	11. Chapter 11

**God, I'm so late again! Very, very sorry guys! Here's another long chapter for you all, hope it makes up for the ridiulously long wait. I'll try to hurry up a bit. Promise. No nasty warnings for this chapter for you - some mentions of previous noncon and a bit of boy on boy kissing aswell. Enjoy!**

**Amanda040: Thanks for the review! Is it the Master? I'm saying nothing :) Please comment again :)**

**Laura Harkness: Wow, thanks for such a great and long review! And thanks for reading the whole thing so early, and before coffee! I can't even start my day without a mug of coffee so that impresses me! I hope you like this update. Please, please let me know! Thanks again :)**

**GwenxxOwen: Poor Doc indeed! He gets some much needed love this time though! As always, thanks for sticking with me!**

**CosmicalMadison: Yay, glad you liked the last chapter, hope this one is okay! I do REALLY love the Doctor! Ie, he's my fave character in any show ever - and yep, I love him so much that there is yet more pain to come :( My poor Baby! Ianto did have a good reason, which will become clear as the fic goes on. Starting from this latest chapter! Enjoy!**

**OperationBlueSky: Another great review, thanks! And I know it's all gone a bit nasty, this chapter is a tad better though, the Doctor comes back fighting! Hope you like. As always, please let me know!**

**Time Lady 802379: Ianto isn't exactly evil.. oh, you'll find out! There is some recovery in this chappie for the Doctor, the calm before the storm you might say! Well, enjoy it and please review again!**

**Thanks to CSG1 for another fantastic job with checking this through for me. She really does do a fab job! **

**Thanks to anyone sticking by me and waiting so patiently for each chapter. You are all amazing!**

**Carring on now - Enjoy! And please R & R people! Thanks :)**

**A Christmas to Remember**

**Chapter 11**

The Doctor was perched up on the table in the medical bay, his head resting against the wall behind him, as he tried to make sense of his thoughts. He had awoken a few minutes before, remembering instantly all that had happened to him. He felt the agonising glow of the Time Distorter, saw Ianto's malicious smile and cringed as he recalled the human taking advantage of him, just as Saunders had done a few days previously.

The Doctor glanced over his shoulder at the TARDIS standing behind him, waiting for him. The Doctor shook his head. Torchwood? Great idea! I'm all rested up now, thanks for that! He felt the gentle prodding on his mind, could sense her regret and embarrassment and he smiled. He didn't blame her. How could he? His thoughts turned to Ianto. The Doctor looked down at the Time Distorter in his hands with confusion. The Distorter was an ancient weapon that the Doctor had not seen the like of for a long time. They had been used during the Time War as torture devices against his kind, usually by fellow Time Lords turned traitors or other allies to the Daleks. How had it ended up in Torchwood? And how exactly had Ianto Jones manage to work it? The technology was far above any human. The alien frowned. Something about all of this was very wrong, something did not add up.

As he sat there, puzzling, an excited voice rang out.

"Doctor! You look better!"

The Doctor turned to find Martha standing in the doorway, a wide smile on her lips.

With a grin, the Doctor approached Martha and, somewhat to her surprise, wrapped his long arms around his young friend and embraced her. She held him tightly back, her eyes closed, fighting back tears. It felt so good to hold him. After a few moments, the Doctor pulled away.

"It's good to see you up and about," she told him pleasantly. "We were worried. We don't have a lot of time left now."

"Where's Ianto?" the Doctor inquired at once, bringing an end to her chatter.

Martha glowered. Her whole happy demeanour changed at the mention of Ianto's name. Her posture became hard and her tone angry. "He's locked away and right now is being questioned by Gwen, Jack and Mickey. " She glanced at the Doctor. "Don't worry, he won't be able to get to you again." Her eyes narrowed and she lowered her voice. "I hate him so much for what he did to you."

The Doctor watched her, thoughtfully.

"All that hate doesn't suit you, Martha."

She shrugged. He sighed.

"I'd like to see Ianto," the Doctor asked. "If that would be possible."

Martha frowned.

"Doctor, you were unconscious for some time," she told him, nervously. "UNIT could be here any moment. Didn't Jack tell you?"

The Doctor smiled coldly. "That they are coming for me?" He stared into space. "He mentioned it, yes. I'm a danger now from an organisation that were once my family and friends apparently."

Martha looked down. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah," the Doctor replied. "Circumstances change and so do people. That's life." He jumped to his feet, still clutching the Time Distorter. "I'll be long gone before the soldiers get here, Martha." He looked at her beseechingly. "But I need to see Ianto Jones before I leave. Please."

She never had been able to deny him, even when it had meant her walking the Earth alone for a year. And she had been so young, so naive. She'd have done anything for him back then. And looking into those tired eyes now, she realised she would do it all again in a heart beat.

"Ianto is downstairs, in the cells," she said quickly, already walking towards the door. "I'll show you."

He smiled. "Thank you." He grabbed his overcoat and moved ahead of her, hurrying towards the stairwell, still grasping the Time Distorter.

"Doctor," Martha called after him, concerned. "Are you sure you're well enough for this? You've been through a lot." She felt stupid even saying the words. He was more than aware about the events of the past few days. He was the one who had lived through them, after all.

The Doctor paused. "I'm okay, Martha. Really." He reached out and she took his hand. "I know how bad I must have looked to you. A Time Lord body can adapt quickly. The injuries I suffered at the hands of Ianto I had already experienced very recently. My body can heal the physical reminders and my mind can block out the memories. I promise you, I can cope with this."

She nodded. "I never doubted that," she said quietly. Then, she added; "You're amazing, how you manage to fight back again and again. I just wanted to say that."

His face broke into a big grin. "I'm glad you did. It means a lot to me." He released her hand and then glanced down at his tie, straightening it. "And, after all, Ianto was just one man, I should be able to deal with that."

He met Martha's questioning gaze. He paused before adding, in hushed tones.

"Last time, there were three of them."

With that, he walked away, hands deep in his pockets and his head bowed, leaving Martha to stare after him in dismay. Two words repeated in her head. Benjamin Saunders. A man she would never meet but despised completely. He was responsible for this, for the torment the Doctor was going through. Ianto had merely forced the Time Lord to relive the horror and that alone had almost destroyed him. If only Martha could face Saunders, just the once. She would make him regret ever touching someone as beautiful as the Doctor. She would make him scream. She closed her eyes, feeling the tears threatening to spill over once more for the hurt and humiliation her friend had suffered. It was so unfair. He deserved better. She rubbed her eyes and choked back her grief before moving off after him, unable to dispel the horrific image of Ianto forcing himself onto the Doctor out of her mind. She wondered if she would ever get over that sight. All she wanted to do was scream and shout and hit whoever was nearby, preferably Ianto Jones.

For now though, she had to be strong. For him.

XXX

"Tell me the truth, Ianto!"

Ianto was thrown across his cell, quickly followed by a fuming Jack. Very soon, Ianto found himself again pressed up against a wall with Jack's hand gun pushed against his cheek. Ianto closed his eyes, knowing he deserved this treatment. He wondered why Jack didn't just kill him and get it over with.

What reason was there for Ianto Jones to live anymore?

One thing had become very obvious to the Welshmen. Although every single punch Jack threw at him hit home, not once could the Captain bring himself to look at Ianto. And it broke Ianto's heart.

Ianto was brought back to the present sharply when Jack slapped him hard across the face. Once more, Ianto was forced to look into Harkness' furious face.

"I asked you a question," Jack hissed, slowly. "Why did you do it, huh?"

"I don't know, Jack," Ianto whimpered.

Jack shook him violently. "Don't you lie to me!"

Gwen stood behind Jack, watching him closely, ensuring he didn't go too far. Although Gwen was just as disgusted at Ianto's actions as Jack was, she was also confused. Ianto wasn't acting like a cold hearted rapist now, not as he had been earlier as he had assaulted the Doctor. Ianto had shown nothing but remorse ever since. Gwen wanted to find out why and allowing Jack to beat Ianto to a pulp would not help them to learn the truth.

"Jack," Gwen murmured, her voice firm.

"Leave it, Gwen," Jack threw over his shoulder at her, not taking his eyes off Ianto. "We tried it your way, pussyfooting around and it was useless! Now we're trying my way!"

Gwen frowned. "If you hurt Ianto, Jack; you'll regret it."

With a hiss of annoyance, Jack released Ianto, allowing the small man to shrink to the floor. Harkness then strode towards Gwen, pushing his face right into hers.

"Jack!" Mickey called, warningly. He was standing just outside the cell, having been ordered to keep back by Jack. Mickey tightened his grip on his gun. Things were getting out of hand. The last thing they needed was Jack to lose his mind as well as Ianto.

Jack took no notice of the interruption.

"Why are you protecting him?" he yelled, showering Gwen with spit. "I know you hate the Doctor but I can't believe you would side with his rapist!"

"Don't be ridiculous, Jack!" Gwen snapped back, holding her own. "I'm just trying to figure this out!"

Jack shook his head in disgust. He pointed at the cowering Ianto. "He attacked the Doctor! He raped him!"

"I know that, Jack!"

Jack paused, his eyes flaming. "Do you care?"

Gwen swallowed hard. "Of course I do." Her voice broke. "This whole ordeal has been horrible and I want to scream and shout as much as you do. I want to help the Doctor too." She placed a soothing hand on Jack's arm. "But you know there is more to this, Jack. You know none of this makes any sense. Deep down, you must do."

Her words were having the desired effect. Jack's anger had calmed slightly. He glanced back over at Ianto and let out a big sigh. "Then why can't he tell us the truth?" he mumbled. "Why did he do it?

Before Gwen could offer any kind of response, Ianto spoke up. "I honestly don't know, Jack. If I could tell you, I would." Ianto closed his eyes, trying to shut out the horrendous memories. "This is tearing me apart."

Jack shrugged in resignation. "Then how do I know that this won't happen again? That you won't attack one of the girls?"

Ianto shook his head desperately. "I promise I would never touch them. All I know is that I wanted to hurt the Doctor, it felt right. I look back at what I did now and believe me, I want to die but whilst it was happening," he broke off, hesitated and then finally added; "I enjoyed it."

"_I didn't_."

They all jumped.

"Mind if I butt in?"

The Doctor and Martha strode into the room, the Doctor's expression grim. The Time Lord was still clutching the Time Distorter and was aiming it straight at Ianto. Jack, his face questioning, moved away automatically, giving the Time Lord space.

The Doctor nodded to Jack, Martha and Gwen, gesturing for them to back off. They did so, though hesitantly. The Doctor perched down in front of Ianto, his dark eyes boring into Ianto's and the Welshman's blood turned to ice. It was unnerving for the Time Lord to be so close.

"I'm sorry," Ianto moaned.

The Doctor didn't reply. Instead, he offered the Time Distorter to Ianto.

"Show me how you fired this," the Doctor said softly.

Ianto moaned in response and held up a hand, trying to ward the Doctor away. The young Welshmen was clearly devastated but the Doctor didn't have the time to be gentle or patient. His eyes suddenly shone red. He grabbed Ianto's wrist and began to squeeze, causing the younger man to whimper in pain.

That moan turned into a gasp when Ianto saw the Time Lord's eyes. They were flaming.

"Show me," the Doctor commanded.

"Please," Ianto pleaded. "I don't know how." He tried to pull away but the Doctor's grip was too firm and he was not going to let go. Not until he had the response he wanted.

"You knew how to use this just fine earlier," the Doctor said quietly. "When you tortured me."

Ianto shook his head desperately, his hand covering his forehead and his eyes squeezed shut as if he was trying to block the Doctor out. But there was no stopping the Time Lord.

"Do as I say Ianto," the Doctor whispered, calmly but forcibly. "Show me."

Ianto began to cry. Jack, who had been surprised to find himself growing more uncomfortable during this exchange, he took a wary step forward. He halted abruptly when the Doctor, sensing his concern, turned and gave him an icy stare. Jack understood that look only too well. He was not to interfere.

The Doctor leaned right into Ianto's face.

"I'm waiting," he said coldly. "And at this moment, I'm not feeling all that patient."

"I don't know," Ianto shrieked and then turned his hot face away from the furious Time Lord. "Please, Doctor." He knew he sounded pathetic but he couldn't stop the words. " I'm sorry for what I did to you."

The Doctor took hold of Ianto's chin, forcing him to painfully once more meet his gaze.

"I don't care about your apologies, Ianto Jones." The Doctor's eyes narrowed. "And don't you ever look away from me again."

Jack couldn't take any more. This had gone too far.

"Doctor, stop."

The Time Lord frowned.

"Jack, leave it."

"But he doesn't know..."

The Doctor cut across him.

"I said, _don't interfere_!"

Jack was stunned into silence. This new aggressive Doctor was unnerving him and if he was honest, he was worried about Ianto. But what could he do? How could he blame the Doctor for being angry? He had been so furious himself. He had wanted to hurt Ianto only a short time ago. This was the Doctor's right for revenge. He hung his head

Shocking everyone in the room, the Doctor slapped Ianto hard across the face, causing the terrified boy to cry out.

"Doctor!" Martha exclaimed, horrified.

The Doctor ignored her.

"Show me!" he yelled again.

Ianto said nothing, he merely trembled.

"SHOW ME!" the Doctor repeated, face like thunder. He raised his hand again to strike Ianto.

Mickey and Gwen both went to move past the dumbfounded Jack to intervene before the Doctor could do Ianto some serious damage. Suddenly, Ianto let out a scream of rage, yanked the Time Distorter out of the Doctor's open hand, smirked and fired the weapon directly at the Time Lord.

The golden glow filled the room and Martha, Mickey, Gwen and Jack all shielded their eyes from the bright light. Slowly the light died away and they all looked towards the Doctor, concerned at what they would see. Their eyes all widened in shock at the sight before them.

The Doctor was stood in the middle of the glow, perfectly calm and apparently in no pain at all. The light shone around him for a few seconds before fading and in those moments, to Jack, he looked angelic. Jack drew away from the Time Lord in awe. Only once before had the Doctor seemed so powerful, when he had emerged triumphant in their battle with the Master. That day, the Doctor had soared so high as the Master had cowered beneath him. Now, it was Ianto's turn to cower.

And Jack's young lover was plainly beside himself with fear.

"I'm sorry," he stammered, backing away until he touched the wall behind him. "Please, don't hurt me."

The Doctor, that beautiful golden light having now left him, walked slowly towards Ianto, who could not bring himself to look at the Gallifreyan. Carefully, the Doctor held out his hand for the Distorter. After a moment, Ianto visibly gulped down his fear and pushed the weapon into the Doctor's palm.

The Doctor looked at the Distorter and then smiled kindly at Ianto before dropping the torture device to the floor with a loud bang, causing all the others in the room to jump. He then made a show of wiping his hands noisily and turning his back on the machine, before crouching down in front of Ianto and giving the stunned boy a big, supportive hug.

"I'm sorry Ianto," he whispered. "I'm so sorry I scared you. I had to make you lose control."

Gwen, Jack and Martha exchanged confused glances. Mickey wanted to intervene, still not trusting Ianto but Gwen held up a hand, stopping him. She knew the Doctor had everything under control. And for the first time since their disagreement, she had complete, undoubted respect for him.

"Eh, Doctor?" Jack began. "What..."

The Doctor interrupted his old friend.

"I wouldn't worry," he said, pulling back from Ianto. "The thing is totally harmless now." He clasped Ianto's shoulder. "Don't worry, it's all over. The Distorter is basically just a torch now, a tool," he said. "It can't be used to hurt anyone else ever again."

Ianto nodded. "Good," he replied simply, his voice no louder than a whisper.

The Doctor watched him thoughtfully. "This does still leave one question though." He said softly. "How did you know how to work it?"

Jack stepped closer to the two men and with one moment's hesitation, moved to stand beside Ianto. The Welshmen glanced at his Captain nervously and he was relieved to find Jack was no longer glaring at him.

"Answer him, Ianto." Jack told him quietly. "He'll sort this out. Trust him."

Ianto didn't believe Jack for a second. How could it ever be alright again? He had tortured the Doctor. He had tried to rape him. There was no forgiveness for such a hateful crime. No matter what Jack said or did, Ianto knew he would never truly forget or forgive him. Ianto's life was over and it was no more than what he deserved. He closed his eyes, the pain once more becoming too much for him.

"Ianto," the Doctor said gently. Ianto's gaze met the Time Lords and those big soulful eyes were patient and kind. And when the Doctor smiled, his eyes twinkled.

"Tell me, Ianto," he asked brightly. "How did you know what to do? Please, it is important."

Ianto found he couldn't stay quiet. He needed to reveal his thoughts and feelings to the Doctor. And he didn't know why.

"I don't know and that is the truth." He shuddered. "The knowledge just came to me and I wanted to hurt you. I wanted to make you suffer so much. I hated you and everything you stood for and it felt right." He swallowed. "I'm sorry."

The Doctor seemed to ponder for a moment, unsure of his next move. He rubbed his hand over his face and let out a sigh. He exchanged a concerned look with Jack before once more fixing his gaze on Ianto.

Then, he offered his hand to the young man.

Ianto stared up at him in amazement.

"Stand up, Ianto," the Doctor urged kindly. "I want to help you but you have to work with me."

Still scared but not wanting to refuse the Time Lord, Ianto took his outstretched hand and the Doctor pulled the other man to his feet. He then placed a gentle hand on Ianto's face. Ianto didn't flinch. For some reason, he trusted the Doctor not to hurt him anymore.

"Ianto," the Doctor said, quietly but firmly. "I need you to let me inside your mind."

Ianto's eyes grew wide. "What?"

The Doctor smiled gently. "I won't harm you."

Ianto laughed softly. "Even if you did Doctor, I don't care. I deserve to suffer for what I've done."

The Doctor shook his head. "Not my style." He grasped the side of Ianto's head. "Will you join with me, Ianto Jones? I want your permission before I do this."

"Whatever it takes to sort this out Doctor, it's fine by me." Ianto replied grimly.

The Doctor nodded his approval, brought his other hand to Ianto's head and then closed his eyes. Ianto did the same, already feeling the Doctor tapping on the walls of his mind.

"Just open your mind, Ianto," the Doctor whispered. "Trust me. Let me in."

Ianto took a deep breath and relaxed as he did so, he could feel the Doctor's presence growing ever stronger.

_That's it Ianto. You're fine. Don't worry. _

Ianto gasped. The Doctor was inside his mind! He could hear the Time Lord's thoughts, sense his very essence. It was similar to when Ianto had entered the Time Lord's mind previously but somehow completely different. Then, he had felt the Doctor's humiliation, his despair. Now, there was only gentleness and kindness. The Doctor's words in his head were patient and calming. Just like the other voice had been, he realised; before it had become cruel and had ordered him to hurt the Doctor.

_What voice, Ianto?_

Ianto cursed himself for his stupidity. He had to be more careful. The voice would be very angry with him if the Doctor found out all of their secrets.

_Tell me about the voice, Ianto. _

Ianto shook his head firmly.

_The voice told me not to tell anyone, _he thought, knowing the Doctor could hear. _It's between me and him. It's our secret. _

He knew the Doctor was curious, he could sense his interest. Ianto hoped he wouldn't push this. Ianto would not disobey the voice.

_Ianto, I need you to open up to me. Don't block your thoughts. Now, who did this voice belong too? What did it say?_

The Welshman was annoyed.

_It's not your business. He'll be furious if I tell you! He's my friend. He cares about me!_

The Doctor was displeased. Ianto didn't want to do this anymore, he wanted to stop. He began to shut doors in his mind, forcing the Time Lord out.

_Just calm down, t_he Doctor urged. _Everything is fine. I need you to trust me Ianto, as you trust the voice. Do you think you can do that?_

Ianto was unsure. _I don't want you prying!_

_No problem. But you asked for my help Ianto and I'm trying to give it to you. You have to stop fighting me._

Ianto once more relaxed. His thoughts returned to the voice and this time, he showed the Doctor his memories.

_The voice began to speak to you recently?_

_Yes._

A memory of the voice ordering him to rape the Doctor sprang into Ianto's mind. He sensed the Doctor's unease and guilt once again swept through him.

_I'm sorry. _Ianto wanted to know that the Doctor knew how bad he felt.

_I know you regret what happened Ianto. You need to move past this. We both do._

More conversations between Ianto and that mysterious voice inside his head came to the front of Ianto's mind. He knew the Doctor could hear them too and that fact still worried Ianto. He had promised after all. That voice had been good to him, had understood him and his feelings about Jack. He didn't like betraying his friend.

_Did you hear the voice before I arrived?_

_No._

The Doctor was frowning. Ianto couldn't see him but somehow, he knew.

_Can you hear the voice now?_

Ianto grimaced.

_No, I can only hear you._

_When was the last time the voice spoke to you?_

Ianto was uncomfortable.

_During the attack._

_It hasn't spoken since?_

_No._

The Doctor sighed.

"That's good, Ianto."

It took the Welsh man a moment to realise the Doctor had spoken out loud. Suddenly, he couldn't sense the Time Lord anymore. The Doctor had left him, their connection was dead. Ianto opened his eyes and found the Doctor standing so close to him, their lips were nearly touching. Ianto could see that the Doctor was so tired, he was having trouble standing up straight. Ianto went to help the Doctor before he fell back and the Doctor instantly panicked, pulling away from him.

Ianto froze. The Doctor recovered immediately but it was already too late. Ianto knew the Doctor still feared him. As if he could really be surprised. Jack was beside the Doctor in a second, supporting him.

"I'm fine, Jack," the Doctor muttered, "I just need to sit down."

Hearing this, Gwen quickly pushed a chair into the cell and the Doctor fell into it, his head in his hands.

Martha knelt down beside him. "Do you need anything? A drink of water?"

He shook his head slightly. "I'll be alright in a minute," he told her quietly and gave her a small smile.

"So," Ianto said. "What's the verdict?" He tried to be nonchalant but knew he had failed. When he spoke again, he couldn't hide the fear in his voice. "Am I evil?"

The Doctor managed a half smile. "No Ianto. You're not evil. That voice that's been whispering sweet nothings to you for days though, that's another matter."

Jack's head snapped round. "What voice?"

Ianto went red. He glared at the Doctor. "That wasn't exactly how I wanted everyone to find out that I hear voices, actually, Doctor."

The Doctor looked down. "I'm sorry, Ianto; but you really should have had the courage to tell Jack about this before."

"Damn right he should!" Jack muttered.

Having overheard this comment from Jack, Ianto's eyes flashed as he looked from the Doctor to the Captain. "Problem was Jack, you've been a bit preoccupied with the Doctor lately haven't you? When have I had the chance to talk to you since he got here?"

"Don't start, Ianto!"

"That's enough, Jack!" the Doctor cut in. "He needs your help, can't you see that?"

Jack bristled but said nothing. The Doctor regarded him for a moment before turning once more to Ianto, his voice as calm as before.

"Ianto, there is something in your head, I could sense it. Some kind of control over you."

Ianto grimaced. This was no surprise to him. That voice had been his only confidant for days.

"What is it?" he asked.

"I don't know. But whatever it is, it wants you to hurt me."

Gwen stepped forward. "Can you get rid of it?"

The Doctor was thoughtful. "I think I can contain it. Ianto, did you feel angry or violent before I arrived?"

"No."

"I have one theory," the Doctor told him. "Perhaps Torchwood One did something to you when you worked there. Some form of mind control or hypnosis maybe? To keep all of their employees distrust and hatred of me paramount."

Jack snorted. "Bastards!"

Gwen was sceptical.

"Would they have messed with their own people's heads like that?"

Mickey nodded. "You didn't meet those guys, Gwen. They were full on. And they all hated the Doctor."

Ianto raised a hand. "Doctor, if this is true, can you help me?"

"Yes I can," the Doctor answered and stood up. "I can stay away from you."

Ianto gaped at him blankly. Jack was dumbfounded.

"What?" Harkness snapped.

"I think you'll all be fine once I leave again."

"You're leaving?" Ianto asked, still confused. "Now?"

"I need to be gone by the time UNIT show up anyway so I think this is the best resolution all round." The Doctor held out his hand. "Goodbye Ianto."

Ianto gazed at him.

"What if I hurt someone else?" he gabbled.

"You won't," the Doctor told him. "As I said before, you're not evil, Ianto. You're a victim. We both are." He smiled sadly. "You'll be fine. Jack will help you. Trust him as you trusted me and things will be better, believe me."

Jack was clearly thrown by the Doctor's decided course of action.

"Doctor, we need your help. I need your help."

The Doctor sighed. "Jack, you're the leader here. They look to you for the answers. My presence just confuses things and Ianto will not be able to relax whilst I'm here. Right now, his every instinct is to hurt me. That's not healthy for anyone, is it?"

Jack was glaring as the Doctor strode past him, only pausing to shake Gwen's hand and give her a hug as he went past, Martha and Mickey both hurrying after him. Jack hesitated, his eyes lingering on Ianto's now trembling form. Gwen gestured to Jack that she would remain with Ianto and look after him. Jack nodded, understanding that it was best for them to keep Ianto away from the Doctor, Torchwood mind control or not.

With a grateful smile, Jack turned and headed after the Doctor and the remaining members of his team. Gwen let out a deep breath and walked over to Ianto, who was now crouched on the ground, his head buried in his knees. Gwen put her arms around the young man and embraced him fondly.

"It will be okay," she whispered to him. "He'll be gone and we can get back to normal."

The hollow sound of Ianto's laughter that followed her words caught her by surprise.

"Normal?" Ianto repeated. "You think so?"

"Jack will forgive you," Gwen told him firmly.

Again, he laughed.

"Maybe," he whispered, "one day, he might." He looked up, meeting her gaze. "But how do I forgive myself?"

Gwen had no answer for him. She gave him a sad smile and then turned away. At that moment, unbeknown to Gwen, Ianto suddenly opened his eyes wide and tried to call out to his friend but found himself unable to speak. For Ianto had suddenly realised that he could feel a presence inside of him, trying to find its way out of his body and there was nothing he could do to prevent it. The young Welshman's eyes glowed bright gold for numerous seconds before slowly fading back to his natural green. He let out a low, inaudible gasp and collapsed down against the wall. Exhaustion hit him and he fell down, eyes closed, sound asleep. And when he awoke, he would remember nothing of the sensations he had only seconds before felt. The alien life form's leaving present to the young human – ignorance.

Gwen looked back towards Ianto to find him sleeping peacefully. She sighed. That was probably for the best. She decided to let him sleep.

That was when she heard it deep inside of her.

_Jack should know about Ianto. You should go and find him._

Gwen shrugged. Jack should know that Ianto was sleeping. She knew she should listen to the voice. That voice knew what was best for her and the team. With one last glance towards Ianto, Gwen made for the stairs, completely unaware of the sinister switch that had just occurred.

As she ran up the steps, her eyes glowed as gold as the sun. And the presence inside of Gwen Cooper was smiling.

XXX

"Jack!" the Doctor exclaimed, clearly frustrated. "I'm not running away!"

Jack snorted. "Really?"

The Doctor shook his head incredulously.

The Time Lord, the immortal and their two human friends were stood in the medical bay and the mood was somewhat icy, Jack having placed himself between the Doctor and his TARDIS. The Doctor was desperately trying to appeal to Jack but his stubborn friend was not hearing a word.

"I HAVE to go Jack!" the Doctor tried for the hundredth time. "If UNIT find me..."

"You're scared of UNIT now?" Jack retorted. "We'll explain the situation. I'm sure they're willing to listen..."

The Doctor raised an eyebrow.

"Jack, they're soldiers!"

Jack knew the Doctor had a point but it didn't change the fact that the Captain just didn't want his friend to go.

"Doctor, please. I can protect you."

The Doctor closed his eyes. "I have to go Jack. For Ianto's sake. I told you, Torchwood must have implanted something in him..."

Jack cut across him. "Is that right? Cos, to me, that sounded like a very convenient bullshit story which gives you the perfect excuse to run away from us." He paused, his eyes flashing.,"from me." And then, "again."

The Doctor walked towards Jack, his large eyes staring into the other man's.

"Jack, please," he begged. "Don't make this hard. I don't want to go but I need too. I can't stay here any longer. Just being in this room makes me want to break down, scream and cry. Can't you understand that? Don't you see how hard this is for me?" His voice broke with emotion. "Can't you see the state I'm in, Jack?" A tear rolled down the Time Lord's cheek. "Please, let me go. Let me run. I'm sorry, Jack."

He looked away from the now despairing Harkness and stared down at the ground, his eyes tightly shut. Martha walked to him quickly, placing a gentle hand on his arm and giving Jack a frosty look.

A few painful moments passed. Mickey stood beside the TARDIS, his eyes locked on Jack, waiting for the Captain to make the next move.

Jack finally cleared his throat.

"I understand, Doctor. And I'm the one that's sorry. Sorry that you came to me for protection and I failed you so spectacularly."

The Doctor looked up at Jack hurriedly.

"You didn't fail me Jack," he told him. "Nothing that happened here was your doing. Or Martha's, Gwen's or Mickey's." He smiled, despite himself. "Or even Ianto's."

"Doctor," Mickey said quietly, "Do you really believe this was Torchwood One's fault? Some kind of hypnosis?"

The Doctor ran a hand through his hair. "Could be. I really don't know, Mickey." His eyes met Jack's. "All I know for sure is – something was controlling Ianto. That's what you need to concentrate on. Ianto needs your love and care now, not your hate."

Jack nodded his understanding.

"Okay," the Doctor announced with a sigh. He marched up to Mickey and pulled the boy into a big hug.

"Thanks for everything, Mickey," the Doctor told his young friend and Mickey gave him a wide grin.

"Until next time, boss."

Next, the Doctor went to Martha. She threw herself towards him and he hugged her tightly.

"Take care," she whispered to him.

"You too," he replied and then added, very softly; "Forgot to say, thanks for looking after me."

She smiled but the grin did not reach her eyes. It was worrying or her, to let him go off on his own after everything he had been through. But she knew the Doctor only to well. There was no stopping him.

Finally, the Doctor turned to Jack.

"Martha, Mickey," Jack said at once, "Could you give us a moment please?"

The two young people exchanged glances and then slowly filed from the room, without a word. They waited outside, peering into the room, at the Doctor and Jack. They didn't even notice Gwen when she appeared behind them quietly, her own gaze aimed at the movements of the two men through the glass door.

Jack and the Doctor faced each other.

"Where will you go?" Jack asked bluntly.

The Doctor blinked.

"Back to 1851. I have a friend there, waiting for me."

Jack nodded. "This friend," he began, "is she..."

"He," the Doctor interrupted.

The Captain's eyes widened. "Oh, HE!" Jack laughed. "New companion?"

The Doctor was uncomfortable. "Yes."

Jack quickly became serious. "And Saunders?"

The Doctor flinched at the name.

"Did Ianto...?" He asked uneasily.

Jack shook his head. "No, you told me." He lowered his tone. "After the attack, you were delirious and called out that name. You were scared. It didn't take much to work out who Saunders was."

The Doctor was embarrassed and would not meet Jack's gaze. "Probably best not to think about it, Jack. You may get a tad jealous."

Jack looked aghast. "Not funny, Doctor."

The Doctor sighed. "I know." A beat passed. "Sorry."

Jack shook with anger. "If I could Doctor, I'd kill him," he hissed.

The Doctor looked pained. "Yes, you would. That's why I can't take you with me."

"But is it safe to go back there?"

"I'll be fine. I owe it to Jackson."

Jack raised an eyebrow. "Jackson?"

The Doctor nodded and managed a gentle smile.

Jack steadied himself. "Can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"I know my place is here," Jack said. "I made my decision and I stand by it. I have people who depend on me and love me but I can't help the way I feel. _I _need _you_ , Doctor." He hesitated and looked past the Doctor, at the TARDIS, no longer able to meet the Doctor's intense gaze. "Will it ever be the right time for me to travel with you again?

The Doctor sighed. He brought his hand up to the other man's face and carefully caressed his cheek. Jack closed his eyes. To have the alien this close, to actually feel the Doctor's kind touch and his acceptance, even though the Time Agent was wrong and the Doctor knew it, was heaven for Jack Harkness.

Jack knew this harmony could not last. He prepared himself for the latest disappointing words he was sure were about to come from the Doctor and as usual, ruin everything.

Instead, to his surprise, when the Doctor did speak, his words were quite unexpected.

"Jack, I shouldn't tell you this but you need to hear it." The Doctor leaned in ever closer to Jack and whispered in his ear. "I will come for you Jack, at the moment that you need me the most." Jack's eyes widened in amazement as the Doctor continued. "I'll take you with me then. When you're free."

The Doctor then stunned the other man by pressing his lips against Jack's and kissing him tenderly. Jack recovered quickly, taking hold of the back of the Doctor's head, holding him in place. Just as he sensed the kiss could become more passionate, just when he began to forget that they were being watched by three stunned friends, the Doctor pulled free of Jack's hold.

The Time Lord smiled. Jack could only stare back, breathlessly.

"You will travel with me again Jack, I promise," the Doctor told him as he took one step back, towards the TARDIS. "And it will be wonderful." He paused. "But first, there's someone else I need to be with. Let me go to him." He touched Jack's hand. "Just wait a small while longer, old friend." After a long moment when neither of them spoke, the Doctor finally said, almost as an after thought; "Oh, by the way Jack Harkness; I probably should have said this a long time ago," and, with a teasing smile, he added, "I'm proud of you."

Jack smiled gratefully. The Doctor grinned back at him happily and then turned to wave at Gwen, Martha and Mickey, still standing just outside the door, clearly all shocked by what they had just witnessed. Automatically, they waved back, silly smiles plastered on their faces. Mickey put his arm around Martha's shoulder, realising watching the Doctor leave would be painful for both of them. Secretly, they both wished as Jack did. Couldn't we have one more trip? They would never ask though. Their time had come and gone. Jack's though, his was just on hold. And at last, he knew so. Now, he could move on. His reward would come one day, when he needed it more than ever. Gwen watched her two colleagues for a moment, unable to share their emotion, when suddenly she shuddered and gasped in panic.

"You okay?" Mickey asked, watching her with concern.

Gwen nodded. She wasn't okay of course. Because inside, she could have sworn that she had felt something pass through her. Just before she had seen the Doctor and Jack kiss. Something that had felt very cold and cruel. And very powerful.

She soon realised that Martha and Mickey were staring at her.

She gave herself a little shake and the others a reassuring shrug. No need to make a fuss. Everyone had the shivers from time to time! Maybe she was catching the flu.

Of course, if Martha and Mickey had been watching her the whole time, they would have seen a golden light in her eyes come and go. But by now, the glow had left her and so had the presence. And very soon, just like Ianto before her, she would forget everything.

The three members of the Torchwood team looked back into the medical bay just in time to see the Doctor disappearing into the TARDIS and after a few seconds passed, they heard the familiar sounds of the ship's engines.

Moments later, the Doctor and his TARDIS were gone.

Quickly, Jack joined his three friends. His eyes twinkled. Martha realised, he looked happy.

"How's Ianto?" he asked.

Gwen rubbed his arm fondly. "Let's go check on him."

They walked as one towards the steps and began to descend. There was a long silence.

"Jack?" Martha finally spoke.

"Yes?" Jack teased.

"He's a good kisser isn't he?"

Jack paused, surprised. Then, he threw back his head and laughed.

XXX

Jackson was sat, in exactly the same spot the Doctor had left him in, still staring into space. He glanced down at his pocket watch. It had been five minutes. Jackson sighed. To him, it already felt like five hours. This was going to be a long wait for him. He rubbed his hands together and gazed around him. The snow fall was growing worse. He wouldn't be able to stand out in this cold for too much longer.

Suddenly, Jackson froze. Could that sound be...? No, surely not! He'd only just left.

But his eyes did not deceive him! There was the TARDIS, dematerializing in the very place it had just vanished from. The Doctor was coming back!

A brief time later, the TARDIS was once more before him. The door was thrown open and a beaming Doctor charged out, saw Jackson stood, watching in bewilderment and the Time Lord threw himself on Jackson, smiling from ear to ear and giving the human a huge bear hug. They pulled away, laughing. And then, after a seconds hesitation for fear of being seen, they kissed. Jackson literally melted in the Doctor's arms. Five minutes or five years? Jackson wasn't sure. All he knew was, he never wanted to let the Doctor go again.

At last, they pulled apart. The Doctor was breathing hard. Jackson could see that the Doctor was still surprised and unnerved by his own actions. It was time for Jackson to take the lead once again.

"Are you well, Doctor?" he inquired.

A nod. "I'm better, Jackson." Then, with a sigh, the Doctor added, "To be honest, I just needed some peace and quiet." Realising the irony of that statement, the Doctor laughed.

Jackson, though he had no idea why, laughed too. When they had both calmed, Lake said softly, "Why did you come back?"

The Doctor paused. "You know why."

"Tell me."

The Doctor tugged on his ear. "I came back for you." And then, very softly, he said, "I missed you."

Jackson chuckled.

"Really Doctor!" Jackson exclaimed, deciding it was a good idea to keep things light. "I am very flattered but it has only been five minutes since you left!"

The Doctor smiled. "It's been a lot longer than that for me." He jerked his head towards the TARDIS. "Time machine, remember?"

Jackson nodded.

"What happened?"

The Doctor frowned. "Later," he replied softly, "I'll tell you everything but not here."

A beat passed between them. Finally, Jackson asked; "Where do you want to go now?"

The Doctor looked at him thoughtfully. "Home," he replied.

Jackson's face fell. "Of course," he answered and looked towards the TARDIS but the Doctor shook his head quickly.

"No Jackson. I mean _your_ home, please."

Jackson's face broke into a huge beaming grin.

"Of course, my friend." He held his arms out in a welcoming gesture. "Let's get you into the warm. Come, Doctor."

Then walked away from the TARDIS, strolling back down the alley. The Doctor moved slower then Jackson and the human could see the Doctor was still exhausted, mentally and physically. He knew then that despite the Doctor's manner, everything was far from being healed. Jackson wrapped a protective arm around the thinner man and the Doctor instinctively leaned into Jackson, with a contented sigh. The Doctor felt safe and well and he was glad to be with Jackson. They were together. At that moment, that was all he knew and that was all that mattered.

As they disappeared into the night and the snow, a chuckling figure followed them out of the alleyway and leaned against the wall, satisfied with the knowledge that he knew only to well where they were headed and he was certain that he hadn't been noticed.

Saunders stared after his prey, his smile cruel and spiteful.

"Welcome back, Doctor!" His eyes glowed gold and his cold smile widened. "And I must say, what an impressive machine!"

TBC


	12. Chapter 12

**Hi all! Gawd, this chapter is so, so late. I'm really sorry. It's been a manic few weeks for me and then my beta disappeared on me! Anyway, here's an update for you all! There's some more man on man love in this chapter - all tame though. Lots more of that to come in the next chapter.**

**Thanks to:**

**Time Lady 802379: Thanks for the comment. This is another "calm" chapter but the "storm" is on the way and it is going to be nasty :( Sorry for not updating sooner, I've had a difficult few weeks... anyway, I hope you enjoy and please review again!**

**Fi3fi3: I do like my cliffhangers! Sorry 'bout that! I hope you like this chapter. The Doctor is still okay – at the moment! Enjoy and please comment again!**

**TimeLadyofthePings: Yep, lots more trouble brewing. Glad you liked that scene between the Doctor and Jack. Enjoy this chapter and please review again!**

**Okay – onwards! Enjoy!**

**A Christmas to Remember**

**Chapter 12**

The Doctor was lost in thought as he walked the short journey to Jackson's new home. The human at his side was chattering on happily; blissfully unaware that the Doctor had not been listening to a word for some time. Jackson still had his arm around the Time Lord, holding him close and the Doctor was glad of the comfort. He needed it. Because, if he was honest with himself, he was tired and wanted the rest. He wished he could lay down, just close his eyes and forget. Forget Saunders and his friends. Forget Ianto. Forget the universe, only for a short while. He wanted his life back.

He wanted to be free.

"Doctor?"

The Doctor started, glancing over at his friend. Jackson had stopped talking and had stepped away from the Doctor, watching him closely. It took the Doctor a moment more to realise that they had arrived at the entrance to Jackson's home and Lake had quickly noticed that the Doctor was completely unaware. The Doctor sensed that Jackson had in fact been staring at him for the last few minutes and concern was evident on the humans face. Now, there would be questions. Lots of questions.

The Doctor let out a sigh and turned to face Jackson.

"Sorry Jackson." The Doctor flashed the other man his most dazzling smile. "What were you saying?"

Lake couldn't help but grin broadly back. The Doctor certainly knew how to use his charms.

"I couldn't help but notice my friend, that you seemed somewhat distant."

The Doctor tugged at his ear, uncomfortably

"Eh," he stammered. "I know Jackson. And I really am sorry. It's been a tough few days. Maybe it's all catching up with me. I don't know." The Time Lord closed his eyes and turned his head away from Lake. Even though this human clearly cared a great deal for him, the Doctor was still ashamed to show him so much weakness. He couldn't help it. Time Lord's needed to stay strong. Especially the last one.

Jackson paused, his eyes not leaving the dejected Doctor until finally he smiled again and then clasped the Doctor tightly on the shoulder. The Doctor looked back at him, obviously taken aback by Jackson's reaction.

Jackson spoke softly. "Doctor, why did you come back to me?"

The Doctor was surprised.

"You know why, Jackson," he hesitated. "I wanted to see you." Another beat. "I missed you."

Jackson nodded slowly, his eyes twinkling. "And I you," he replied quietly. "But, there is more to it isn't there?"

The Doctor was confused. "Like what?" He asked.

"Whether you will admit it to yourself or not, my stubborn friend, you needed somebody. I am the very fortunate person you chose to come back too."

The Doctor blushed. "I can look after myself, Jackson. I don't need anyone." He looked at the ground. "I promised you I would come back, so I did. It's a simple as that. There's no big secret."

Jackson stepped closer to the Doctor and brought a hand up to his friends face, gently urging the Doctor to look at him. The Doctor did so, though somewhat nervously. He was aware of the redness in his cheeks and he was embarrassed. Jackson, however, smiled.

"There is no need to be coy, my dear friend." Jackson told him. "You came back here because you wanted to feel part of something – and perhaps even someone." He swallowed. "I feel it too, Doctor. You and I, we are connected. I can feel your fear and distress."

The Doctor pulled free of Jackson's hold. "I'm not afraid, Jackson."

Lake shook his head. "_Yes _you are. And that's understandable after everything you have been through."

At this, the Doctor raised his eyes and stared at Jackson. The human swore he could see fire flashing through the Time Lord's eyes and he took a wary step back.

"What do you know about me?" The Doctor said quietly. "What do you know about what I've faced?"

It was Jackson's turn to be confused. "I've shared your memories, Doctor! What do I not know?"

The Doctor seemed relieved, which only served to intrigue Jackson more. "There's so much, Jackson. And that's for your own good as well as mine. Even these past few days -"

Jackson cut across him. "Saunders is in the past, Doctor. He fled, he cannot harm us now."

The Doctor nodded. His thoughts turned to his most recent ordeal. He saw Saunders, Torchwood and finally, Ianto. He didn't want Jackson to ever find out the truth. He knew the human would not be able to deal with what the Doctor had been put through. He may even blame himself and the Doctor would not be able to cope with that. No, keeping quiet and Jackson happy and ignorant was definitely the better option.

Jackson had placed a loving hand once again on the Doctor's arm. "We can look into the future now Doctor."

That made the Doctor smile. "Something I'm quite good at, Jackson!"

"Indeed," Lake replied. "But every traveller has to settle eventually, Doctor. Even you."

The Doctor sighed. "Perhaps."

Jackson eyes twinkled. "And now is as good time as any to have a well earned rest, my friend." He then gestured ahead of him, looking past the Doctor. The Time Lord turned and began to smile as he realised that they must have been stood outside Jackson's home for some time. The Doctor glanced back at Jackson and chuckled.

"Shall we go inside, Doctor?" Jackson asked him, with a slight bow.

The Doctor's face broke out into a beaming grin. "Would be happy too, Mr Lake!"

Jackson let out a hearty laugh and slapped the Doctor on the back.

"Excellent! Come in, my dear Doctor. This is your home too now as well as mine."

He walked towards his front door. The Doctor however paused.

"Jackson," he called.

Lake turned. "Yes?"

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For understanding me."

Jackson inclined his head. "My pleasure. Now Doctor, please let us enter. Perhaps you Time Lords do not feel the cold as we mere humans do. I am beginning to wonder that I may freeze to death!"

The Doctor couldn't help but laugh. Together, they walked up the short path to the entrance to the house. Jackson reached into his pocket and pulled out a key, quickly placing it into the lock and opening the door. He pushed the door open and beckoned for the Doctor to enter. With a wide smile, the Time Lord did as he was asked and stepped inside.

Jackson quickly joined the Doctor in the hallway, pulling the front door shut behind them. He hurriedly removed his coat and then gestured for the Doctor to do the same. The Time Lord was gazing around the impressive room, already feeling heartened to be out of the cold. He noticed the large staircase a few feet away from him and his eyes followed it up. This was a good home. Jackson and his family could be happy here.

_He could be happy here. _

"Doctor," Jackson said happily, bringing him back to the real world.. "Are you staying?"

The Doctor looked at him abruptly, obviously taken aback. He tugged on his ear absentmindedly.

"Eh, I hope so Jackson. If you'd like me to, that is." He tossed his head to one side, his words coming out in a rush as he tried to explain himself. "Not that I'm trying to put you on the spot or anything, if you don't want me to stay I'll go. Not that I'm saying I want to go, I'd be very happy to stay here with you as long as you'll have me..." His words fell away when it dawned on the Doctor that Jackson was staring at him with a huge grin on his face.

"I only meant for you to take off your coat, Doctor. You won't feel the warmth otherwise."

"Oh." The Doctor blushed. "Yes. Sorry." As quickly as he could, the Doctor pulled off his trench coat and flung it carelessly over the stairway banister.

"Don't leave that there!" A loud voice caused them both to jump. A figure suddenly came hurrying down the stairs, still speaking indignantly. "Making the place all untidy. Typical!"

"Rosita!" Jackson exclaimed. He gave his friend a beaming smile, rushed up to her and hugged her. "I found him! He's come to stay with us."

Rosita smiled at the Doctor. "I can see that, Sir." She gave the Time Lord a cute courtesy. "It's good to see you again, Doctor."

The Doctor waved away the niceties. "And you, Rosita."

"You seem better, more like yourself." Rosita told him.

"I'm getting there," he replied; then added, "thanks."

Rosita smiled then glanced back up to the next floor. "I'd better get back to Frederick, Sir." She glanced at Jackson. "He's having nightmares, Sir."

Jackson frowned. "Oh? The poor lad! Hardly surprising after all he has been through. I'll go and check on him." He made to hurry past Rosita but she held up a hand, stopping him. "He's asleep now, Mr Lake. First proper sleep the boy has had since we got 'im back. I'll sit with 'im." Her eyes met the Doctor's for a second and then she addressed Jackson once more. "You're needed here right now, Sir. Let me look after Freddie. You care for the Doctor."

At that, the Doctor indignantly raised an eyebrow aswell as a finger.

"Eh, Rosita?" He offered. "I don't actually need looking after, you know."

"No, sir. Of course not, Sir." Her teasing smile lit up her face. "Goodnight Mister Lake, Doctor." She then took her leave of them and hurried back up the stairs.

The two men watched her leave. There was an awkward silence.

"Come, Doctor," Jackson said and jerked his head toward the sitting room. The Doctor shrugged and followed Jackson into the room. They sat down together, neither of them sure how to begin the conversation they both knew they needed to have.

Finally, Jackson spoke up.

"So, my friend. Where did you go?"

The Doctor sighed. "To see some good friends of mine in the future."

Jackson nodded. "To help you get over your ordeal with Saunders?"

The Doctor swallowed and glanced down. "Yes," he answered simply.

Jackson reached out and took the Doctor's hand. "I hope one day you will trust me enough to tell me what happened in that barn, Doctor."

The Doctor did not know how to reply so he remained silent. Any answer he gave would upset Jackson. It was better to say nothing.

"These friends..." Jackson continued.

"Yes," the Doctor responded. "Torchwood."

Jackson looked up at the mention of the name. He was startled. "I know of Torchwood. An evil organisation and an enemy of yours." He frowned. "And you went to them for help?"

The Doctor was suddenly transfixed by a mark in the wall across from him. He could not look at Jackson. He didn't want the other man to see how guilty he felt, how much he now regretted leaving him. Even though the Doctor knew he had required more medical expertise than the eighteen hundreds could have provided. He had needed Jack and Martha and their care and love. He had needed his friends. But he was worried Jackson would not understand why.

"Torchwood are different now. Better."

"I see," Jackson snapped, though he clearly didn't. "And will you be leaving to see them again any time soon?"

The Doctor let out a loud exhale. "I am happy with you. I want to stay here. But I had to leave, I needed to sort my head out, get things straight again."

"But you couldn't do that here with me?"

"Jackson," the Doctor exclaimed, now very frustrated. "I have a time machine. I could go anywhere and any when. But I came back here." He stared deep into Jackson's eyes. "Doesn't that prove something to you?"

Jackson stared back at the Doctor. He couldn't stop the tears from falling and he looked down, ashamed. He placed his head in his hands and the Doctor watched him, waiting patiently.

Finally, Jackson met the Doctor's gaze again.

"I ask forgiveness, Doctor," he whispered.

The Doctor was surprised. "For what?"

"What Saunders did to you was my fault," Jackson said, his voice cracking with emotion. "He wanted what was owed to him. I was the one who should have suffered, not you. I'm to blame."

"That's not true, Jackson," The Doctor told him quickly. "Saunders is a vicious, evil man. He would have hurt your son or Rosita instead if he couldn't hurt you through me. This was the best option. I was and am the most disposable person in your life."

Jackson pursed his lips together. He moved closer and held the Doctor's face in both his hands. Leaning forward, he brushed the Time Lord's lips with his own. "Don't you ever say that to me again, Doctor," Jackson told him firmly. "You're beautiful, Doctor.

The Doctor squirmed in the humans grasp, embarrassed and unsure how to react. Jackson could see the other man's nerves. He wanted to calm him. He knew in that moment that he would do anything for the Time Lord.

They kissed awkwardly. After a few seconds, the Doctor pulled away, his eyes fixated on the floor.

"We shouldn't, Jackson," whispered the Doctor. He was obviously uncomfortable.

Jackson brought a finger up to the Doctor's lips and shushed him. "Everything is fine, Doctor." He drew his finger gently across the Doctor's cheek. "Once again, I ask you why you came back to me?"

The Doctor was silent. He just didn't know how to answer Jackson. He looked down.

Jackson blinked. "Doctor, trust me. Let someone look after you, just for a change."

The Doctor was thoughtful for a moment and then, he nodded. He knew he wanted Jackson's touch, craved it but at the same time, the very idea scared him. Not only after all he had been through with Saunders and Ianto but the thought of allowing himself to be so open to another soul, to give himself to this man, terrified him. Nervously, he looked at Jackson, who gazed lovingly back. Then, the human brought his lips to the Doctor's and kissed him gently. After a beat, the Doctor responded and the kiss quickly became more passionate. Finally, the broke away, each gasping for breath and from passion. Jackson touched the Doctor's knee and slowly moved his hand up the Doctor's thigh.

He stopped when he felt the Doctor trembling.

"Do you want this, Doctor?"

The Doctor didn't reply.

"Look at me," Jackson urged.

The Doctor did so. Jackson could see the fear in his eyes and he took hold of the Doctor's hands and squeezed.

"You must tell me, Doctor. I won't continue without your consent."

Doctor hesitated for only a second more. "I want this, Jackson. I want to feel... loved."

Jackson smiled but needed more before he could carry on.

"Are you certain?"

The Doctor nodded once. "Yes."

"I am scared too, Doctor," Jackson told him as he stood. "I have never been with a man either. I have no memory of being with a woman. Not even Caroline." He smiled. "We will teach each other."

The Doctor laughed softly, his fear beginning to subside as he took Jackson's hand and allowed the other man to lead him from the room. Together, they ascended the stairs quietly, mindful not to awaken the rest of the house. Both of them knew they had to be careful, that what they were about to do had to remain their secret. Jackson led the Doctor into his bedroom and gestured for the Doctor to move onto his bed. The Doctor did so, perching on the edge. He watched Jackson nervously as the other man closed the bedroom door and then turned back around to face the Doctor, a loving smile on his lips.

TBC


	13. Chapter 13

**Hi everyone. There you go, a quicker update for you all this time! A couple of warnings for this one – there is some graphic slashy love. This is consensual sex but some may find it slightly uncomfortable. There is also a very nasty flashback to previous non-con and some serious Doctor suffering. This is not one for those who don't like being squicked. I hope you enjoy this chapter and please, as always, give me your feedback. All of your comments meant so much to me so thank you!**

**Thanks to my new beta Heather for checking this over for me.**

**Also - Special thanks this time to:**

**Ewen – I think the Doctor is always cute ******** He's such a great character to write. Hope you enjoy this chapter.**

**Fi3fi3 – Glad you liked it. Enjoy this update and please comment again!**

**Time Lady 802379 – Yep, Doctorlovin' at long last – and lots of it this chapter too! Your feeling is spot on, things are about to get nasty for the Doctor and Jackson again – and there's gonna be a bit of a surprise in the next chapter! Hope you're pleased about the quicker update! Enjoy!**

**TimeLadyofthePings – I agree with you. And he's really going to regret not telling him very soon…**

**A Christmas to Remember**

**Chapter 13**

Jackson walked towards the Doctor slowly, his smile still welcoming and calming. The Doctor sat perfectly still, watching Jackson closely. The Time Lord swallowed hard, trying to control his fear. This was not Saunders or Ianto. It was Jackson. His friend would not hurt him. The Doctor had to trust the human.

"Don't worry, Doctor." Jackson told him softly, apparently reading the alien's mind. "You have nothing to fear."

Jackson began to undress and the Doctor had to look away, nervous and embarrassed. Jackson frowned. He didn't mean to make the Doctor feel uncomfortable; he wanted this night to be perfect for them both. He knew that this was all very new to the Time Lord. He had, after all, never had sex with a human. Jackson burned with pride. The Doctor trusted him enough to give himself completely to him. No other companion had experienced this. Not even Rose.

He knew he was honoured. He planned to thank the Doctor for his faith. He would make him feel so special. It was no less than this lonely spaceman deserved.

When the Doctor once more raised his eyes to meet Jackson's, he was taken aback to find that Jackson was now completely naked. The Doctor gulped. He hadn't planned on stripping himself, he still had scars and other injuries from his attacks. He wasn't ready for Jackson to see him naked. One look at his bare skin and Jackson would know what the Doctor was hiding. What would the human think of him then? Would he throw him out into the night, like the used rubbish he truly was? The Doctor closed his eyes, willing the ground to open up so that he could escape this.

Jackson would see the Doctor as the whore he actually was. The human would not want him for too much longer. Then the last Time Lord would be alone once more.

"Doctor," Jackson said. "What's wrong?"

The Doctor didn't answer. He could only manage a shrug in response.

"Have you changed your mind, my friend?" Jackson's tone was gentle. "I understand that this is frightening for you. But I beg you to trust me, my dear Doctor." Jackson reached out and took the Time Lord's hand. "Just lay back and let me look after you."

The Doctor shook his head. "You won't want me, Jackson. I can't please you. I don't know how."

"This isn't about you pleasing me, Doctor!" Jackson exclaimed. "It's about someone doing something special for you, for a change." He leaned forward and kissed the Doctor lightly on the lips. "Now, let me spoil you. Please."

The Doctor was torn. He still didn't want to lose Jackson and he remained certain that the moment Jackson clapped eyes on the Time Lord's mess of a body; he would leave him for good. But at the same instance, he couldn't refuse Jackson. He needed the human to be close.

The Doctor nodded once. Jackson embraced him and then slowly began to remove the Doctor's clothes. In no time, the pair of them were lying on their backs on top of Jackson's bed together, naked as the day they were born.

Jackson took control. He rose up, using one gentle but firm hand to keep the Doctor underneath him. He then once again kissed the Doctor passionately and this time, the alien responded. Jackson licked at the Doctor, smiling contently at the Time Lord, who was enjoying the attention.

Jackson took his time, being careful and understanding with the body beneath him. He showered the Doctor with kisses and rubbed his hands up and down the Time Lord's slim figure. The Doctor lay under him, peaceful and happy. This was a whole different feeling to when Saunders and Ianto had touched him. This wasn't humiliating or shaming. This felt – right. He was no longer scared and he certainly wasn't sickened. In fact, he didn't want Jackson to stop.

The Doctor suddenly let out a shocked gasp and arched his body back. He batted his hands at Jackson, trying to get him to stop but Jackson merely grabbed the Doctor's wrists and held them tightly in his hand. The Doctor glanced down, confused and afraid. He saw that Jackson had taken the Doctor's penis into his mouth and was now sucking him eagerly. The Doctor was rendered useless by the sensations Jackson's actions were bringing upon him. Wave after wave of ecstasy swept through the Doctor, he had never felt anything like it. He sensed something deep inside him building and building until he felt he might burst. His breathing speeded up, it felt incredible, uncontrollable... and then as quickly as it had came, the feeling stopped. The Doctor whined in disappointment, looking down expectantly at Jackson. His human lover was watching him with amusement, a knowing smile on his lips.

"Are you still with me, Doctor?"

The Doctor chuckled. He couldn't help himself. Breathlessly, he asked, "Jackson, why did you stop?"

The human laughed. "Because I'm tired, Doctor." He smiled teasingly, laying his head down on the Doctor's sweaty chest. "This is taking longer than it should, I feel."

The Doctor was confused. He looked over at the small clock on the bedside table and his eyes widened in shock. "It's been an hour?"

"Time flies when you are having fun, my friend."

"Not for a Time Lord," the Doctor replied. "What happened?"

Jackson smirked. "Don't you know?"

The Doctor was thrown off course by Jackson's confidence and he blushed.

"Did I...?"

Jackson giggled. "Not quite," he whispered, "I'm afraid I had to pause for breath. You tired me out."

The Doctor turned his head away. He felt that he had let Jackson down. "I'm sorry."

Jackson placed his hand on the Doctor's face. "Shush Doctor. There is no blame here. I took my pleasure from your reactions. I just wanted to make you feel special, dear one. I hope I succeeded."

Now, the Doctor smiled. "You definitely did that, Jackson."

Jackson was satisfied. He grinned at the Doctor. "And it's not nearly over yet, Time Lord!" He took hold of the Doctor and began to turn him over onto his front.

He didn't expect the reaction he got.

The Doctor instantly began to struggle, trying to hold his lover at bay. "Jackson, wait!"

Jackson stopped abruptly. "Doctor? You don't have to do anything you do not feel comfortable with. This is all for you."

"It's not that I don't want too, Jackson. I do. It's just -"

Jackson misread the situation. He simply thought that the Doctor was afraid of the unknown. He had no way of knowing that there was a far darker reason for the distressed alien's fear.

He attempted to put the Doctor at ease.

"Trust me," he said gently. "I will help you, Doctor. You need to stay calm. I will make you feel wonderful, that I can promise you."

The Doctor fell silent. Jackson smiled, whispering further loving words of encouragement and then carefully rolled the Doctor over – only to gasp in horror at the sight that greeted him.

There were numerous whip marks covering the Doctor's back and bottom and although these markings had slightly faded, they were still clearly visible. The nasty angry red lines that Jackson knew must have caused his friend agony were sickening to see and Jackson was only too aware who had done this. The Doctor moaned in shame. Jackson immediately placed his hands supportively on his lovers back.

"I'm sorry." Jackson whispered. "I had no idea."

"Not your fault," the Doctor told him and he meant it.

"I could kill him," Jackson said darkly and the Doctor shook his head hurriedly.

"Then you would be no different to him," he answered. "Don't ever talk like that. You're better than him, Jackson. In every way."

Lake decided to change the subject. Mainly because he still burned with anger every time he envisioned that bastard hurting his Doctor. He leaned over the other man once again, stroking his hair softly.

"Doctor, I want to make you forget all that evil and cruelty, just for a moment. I want you to see that there is still some good in humanity. Will you let me show you what you mean to me?"

There was no bullying or demanding in his tone, only desire and the wish to treat the Doctor, to give him something back. The Doctor was scared but at the same time curious. He didn't want to deny Jackson now, besides he knew how much Jackson cared about him.

He would let Jackson have him. Perhaps he would even enjoy it. He just had to keep telling himself Saunders was not there. Saunders could not hurt him. It was only Jackson and the Doctor suddenly realised the obvious truth.

Jackson loved him.

"Just relax, Doctor." Jackson murmured. "If you want me to stop, just say."

The Doctor couldn't help but panic when he felt Jackson thrust a finger into his tight hole, preparing him. Although the human was gentle and there wasn't much pain, the Doctor was still afraid of what he knew was coming next. Jackson inserted another finger, making room. He wanted the Doctor to feel next to no discomfort. He had to be patient, give the Doctor all the time he needed. And after all, this was a first for Jackson too. He had to get this right. The Doctor took a deep breath and readied himself when he felt the human's hard length at this entrance.

"Are you ready, Doctor?" Jackson hissed.

"Yes," the Doctor whimpered, though he wasn't.

Slowly and carefully, Jackson pushed forward, breaching the Doctor and pausing, waiting for the Time Lord to adjust to the intrusion. The Doctor had his eyes tightly shut but he didn't cry out. Jackson hoped this was a good sign. Jackson began to thrust repeatedly, still making sure his lover was relaxed and not in any pain.

"Are you alright?" he asked. Silence greeted him. He paused, "Doctor?"

"I'm fine, Jackson."

Jackson continued to thrust, getting into a steady rhythm. Lake gripped the Doctor firmly as approached his orgasm, not even noticing that the Doctor's penis was still flaccid. The Doctor lay there, unable to move as his body was once again used by a man for his own enjoyment. The Doctor knew that this time it was different. He heard Jackson's continued words of love and encouragement and was grateful for them. The thrusts were not as painful as they had been with Saunders and Ianto. The Doctor even felt that in time; perhaps he could come to enjoy this.

Not now though. Not yet.

He felt Jackson tense and knew it was nearly over. With a cry of pleasure, Jackson came, burying his seed deep within the Doctor. He then collapsed on top of his lover, kissing the Doctor and expressing his thanks. The Doctor was pleased that Jackson was happy. He just hoped that he had managed to satisfy his human lover.

"Did you enjoy that, Doctor?"

"Yes Jackson, of course," he lied.

Jackson eyed the Doctor, sudden realisation hitting him.

"Be honest with me." Jackson said slowly. "Are you in pain?"

"It will get easier," he replied, truthfully.

"I should not have made you…" Jackson began, his head hung in dismay.

The Doctor took his hand. "You didn't force me Jackson. I wanted this too. You just need to give me some more time."

Jackson squeezed the Doctor's hand in response and together, they snuggled under the covers. Jackson held the Doctor close, keeping him safe and warm in his strong embrace.

"I love you," he whispered in the Doctor's ear. Very quickly, the exhausted man drifted off to sleep, completely spent. The Doctor glanced over at him and gave him a small smile. He knew Jackson was being honest and he liked hearing those words. He just hoped that sex would become a better experience for him. In time, he knew it would. He liked being with Jackson. He wanted to be near him. He felt that he belonged right here, in this man's arms. He sighed and closed his eyes, waiting for sleep to come for him too. He smiled contently as the peaceful darkness finally took him away.

**XXX**

_The Doctor whimpered._

"_No!"_

_The rapist behind him was panting hard now. Another painful thrust. And then another and the Doctor could do nothing but kneel there and take the agony. He let out scream after scream and every cry, every whimper that was forced from the terrorised victim was cruelly mocked by his three attackers._

"_Please, stop!" The alien begged._

_The rapist's spiteful laughter rang in the Time Lord's ears and he closed his eyes in humiliation. How could it have all come to this? What had he become? A piece of alien flesh for a group of sneering humans to defile over and over again? He opened his eyes and they locked at once with those of a smirking Saunders. The evil man was chuckling, enjoying the Doctor's torment. _

"_Why should I tell him to stop, Doctor?" Saunders enquired, his taunting smile widening. "Tell me, why should I ruin Tom's fun?" He moved closer and was delighted to see the Doctor flinch. "He's earned his moment with you, after all."_

_The Doctor groaned. The pain was so all-consuming that he was finding it hard to breath. "Hurts," he managed to reply, through clenched teeth._

_Tom laughed loudly at the Doctors whispered words and responded with an extra hard thrust that very nearly sent the Time Lord crashing to the ground. Only Tom's hold on him kept the Doctor in his required kneeling position._

_Saunders shook his head sadly._

"_It hurts, Doctor? Oh dear." His voice dripped with false sympathy. "That just will not do. Do you want this to end?"_

_The Doctor nodded. He knew he must seem pathetic but at that moment, he didn't care. He just wanted his ordeal over and done with. This treatment was unheard of to him. He could not cope for too much longer. _

_Just at that moment, Tom let out a triumphant wail and the Doctor cringed as he felt hot and sticky fluid running deep inside of him. He let out a low moan as Tom released his hold on him and moved away, allowing the Doctor to fall forward onto the floor. The Time Lord lay there, trying to control his breathing. He dared to hope, was that it now? Were they satisfied? Would they now let him be? _

_Saunders was once again smirking. Laughing softly, he leaned in ever closer to the Doctor and grasped his hair, pulled the alien's head up forcefully. The Doctor squeezed his eyes shut, refusing to even look at the hateful man. Saunders saw this and it pleased him. The Doctor was broken. But his ordeal was far from over, as he would soon find out. _

_Saunders evil plans for the night had hardly even begun. _

"_Well," he purred, "you be a good boy and keep nice and still for me and my boys and maybe this time will pass more quickly for you."_ _He slurred the words in the Doctor's ear whilst he stroked his hair, a cold and calculating smile on his lips. "Do you understand me, friend?"_

_The Doctor nodded. He still refused to look at the smug man._

_He wanted this to be finished with. He stole a quick glance at the clock. His hearts sank. He had to endure another forty minutes of this pain and humiliation before he could taste freedom. One way or another._

_He just hoped he could stand this._

_Realising that Saunders had stopped talking, the Doctor looked up to find the horrible human still leering down over him, watching him intently._

"_Are you scared, Doctor?"_

"_Leave me alone."_

"_I'm sorry?"_

"_You've had your fun. Now stop."_

_Saunders' eyes narrowed. Without warning, he struck the Doctor hard across the face, drawing yet more blood. The Doctor hardly reacted; he merely stared back at Saunders, his face blank. After all he had faced, simple blows had very little effect on him. And this angered his tormentor all the more._

"_Do you know what the trouble is with you, Doctor?"_

_The Doctor didn't reply._

_Saunders smiled._

"_I'll tell you, shall I? You are a stubborn fool. You can never admit defeat. It will be the death of you."_

_The Doctor couldn't help himself. He chuckled._

_He quickly realised he had made a mistake. Saunders stopped smiling. He gestured furiously for the third man, Jim, to take his place behind the Doctor. The man hurried to obey, forcing the Doctor back up on to his knees and then quickly pulling down his own trousers._

_The Doctor shivered at the man's touch. "Please," he whispered and instantly regretted it as Saunders snorted with glee._

"_Are you going to answer my question, Doctor?"_

_Again, the Time Lord would not respond. This time, Saunders didn't care._

"_Are you scared?" He repeated, slowly and carefully._

_The Doctor blushed. He was ashamed but he had to answer, he had no choice. "Yes."_

_Saunders threw back his head and laughed. "Good lad."_

_He placed his head on one side and appeared to consider the Doctor. Then, he shrugged and hurriedly slipped down his own trousers, not taking his eyes away from the Doctor. The Doctor watched him, an ever-growing feeling of dread developing deep inside him. The third man, Jim, was still hovering behind the Doctor, ready to rape him just as his friend had done. He was simply waiting for his boss' signal to proceed. Saunders was mere feet away from the Doctor now, holding his large cock in his grip and gently stroking it. Once he was once again hard, he quickly brought his member up to the Doctor's lips and waited. The Doctor's eyes widened as it slowly dawned on him what Saunders expected of him. The Doctor gritted his teeth and turned his head away. No. He would not lower himself any further. This would not happen._

_Saunders was smirking cruelly._

"_Open up." He said, quietly._

"_Please, no." The Doctor moaned softly. _

_Saunders ignored him._

"_Do as I say."_

"_I can't do this."_

_Saunders raised an eyebrow._

"_Of course you can," he threw back. "I am sure you did this for Jackson. You will now do it for me. Open you mouth wide and suck. Like a good little whore."_

_The Doctor turned away as one solitary tear trickled down his face. "I don't know how."_

_Saunders paused for a second before throwing his head back and roaring with laughter. The Doctor could also hear, though it sounded far away to him, that Tom and Jim were just as amused by his embarrassment. He hated them all. _

_And he hated himself. _

"_It's easy, Doctor," Saunders mocked him. "Here, let me help you." _

_Saunders nodded once to the man positioned behind the Doctor and Jim shoved himself forward, entering the Doctor's already torn anus with one hard thrust. The Doctor couldn't stop the cry of anguish that escaped his lips and Saunders took his opportunity, forcing his cock into the open mouth and down the protesting Doctor's throat. The Doctor gagged; sickened by this latest attack he had to endure. He had no choice. He had to suck. He closed his eyes tightly, not wanting to see Saunders reveling in this new triumph._

"_That's right, slave. Suck me!"_

_The Doctor whimpered in shame. The pain was immense. He tried to block out the agony Tom was causing to him with each cruel thrust and the sickening sounds eliciting from both his rapists. The Doctor had never felt so pathetic, so used, so defeated. He would never be the same after this night. If, by some miracle, Jackson did come for him and they survived, the Doctor was ruined forever. How could anyone get past this? _

_What would Jackson say when he found out? Would he then reject the Doctor? Would he see him as the whore and slut the Doctor clearly had turned into? Maybe he would want a ride too?_

"_Doctor?"_

_The Doctor stopped sucking. That voice – it wasn't Saunders or either of his lackeys. The Time Lord opened his eyes and looked past the now panting Saunders into the eyes of Ianto Jones, who was stood behind the Doctor's tormentor with a knowing smile on his lips. The Doctor quickly realised that only he was seeing Ianto._

"_Help me," the Doctor whispered. Saunders didn't seem to hear him or notice that the Doctor was no longer pleasuring him. The evil man's head was thrown back in ecstasy and he was moaning and slurring with desire. The Doctor hated to look at him. His eyes concentrated on Ianto._

_He tried again._

"_Please Ianto. Help me."_

_Ianto's smile widened. It was neither unkind nor friendly. Just indifferent. _

"_Sorry Doctor. No can do."_

"_Why are you here, Ianto?" The Doctor asked, trying to stand but still being held down by the weight of the oblivious Saunders. "You shouldn't be here."_

"_No shit, Sherlock," Ianto replied. "But the answer is right in front of you, Doctor. Prove how clever you are." He took a step closer, placing a hand on Saunders shoulder. Saunders turned and glanced at the Welshman and, to the Doctor's shock, nodded a greeting to him. They both turned as one and beamed at the beaten and despairing Time Lord._

_Together, they whispered six words, both speaking completely in sync and in the same tone as the other. The Doctor could only stare, speechless, as even more ominously, their eyes glowed golden._

"_Look deeper Doctor. Figure it out." _

The Doctor let out a gasp of horror as he sat bolt upright in bed, hot and wet from the sweat once more covering his naked body. He glanced across at the sleeping Jackson and bought a shaky hand up to his forehead, trying to calm his nerves.

It had been a dream. Yet another nightmare. Just as before, in Torchwood, his subconscious mind had forced him to relive his ordeal at the hands of Saunders. Only this time, unlike his previous dream, something had been different.

Something important.

Ianto should not have been there.

The Doctor closed his eyes and let out a huge sigh. Something was trying to make him understand. His own mind? An unseen force? The Doctor didn't know. The Doctor thought back to his nightmare and that golden glow in Ianto and Saunders eyes. Could this be the first ray of light he had seen for some time? That dream had meant something and the Doctor needed to find out what. And he knew he needed to think, he needed to piece the puzzle together. And for that, he needed the TARDIS. She would help him.

The Doctor pulled back the covers and climbed out of the bed, careful not to disturb Jackson. He dressed quickly and quietly and, as he buttoned up his shirt, the Doctor gazed down upon his sleeping friend. He remembered how he had felt the night before, how safe and loved. Though he had been nervous, Jackson had been so kind and patient and had shown the Doctor that sex and intimacy as humans knew it could be gentle and enjoyable for him, not the torturous ordeal he had thought sex to be. He had experienced sensations so new to him and it had felt so good, so real. He didn't want to leave Jackson; he knew that for certain. But how could he stay? What if he endangered Jackson and his loved ones more than he already had done? There was no doubt in the Doctor's mind; he could not stand losing or hurting any more of his friends.

He had been forced to wipe Donna's mind against her will. As far as he was concerned, he had killed his best friend. He had ignored her as she had pleaded with him to spare her. And a part of him had died that day too, with her.

He would never see his Donna again and it was entirely his own fault.

He could not go through that pain again.

He would not watch Jackson die.

The Doctor paused and then leaned over the human, placing his hands on either side of Jackson man. He gently kissed his friend on the forehead and then straightened up once more. He began to walk towards the door and then turned to give Jackson one last long lingering look. He then hurried from the room, his head bowed and his hands stuck firmly in his suit pockets.

Jackson didn't stir once.

TBC


	14. Chapter 14

**Morning all! Here's your latest update. And shocking news I know, but I have nearly finished the next chapter too so that should be posted very soon! There are no warnings for this chapter but I should apologise as it does have a nasty cliffhanger! I shouldn't keep you in suspense to long though, I really want to update this again by the end of next week :) And watch out, major DoctorWhump to come very soon!**

**If you are reading this, please could you spare the time to give me your feedback as I find it so helpful to know what you think. Thanks :)**

_**NB - For anyone who is reading this and is also waiting for an update on my other Who story Together We Stand, just to let you know I will be sending the latest chapter of that to my beta tonight and it will be posted asap. Apologies for the massive delay.**_

**Thanks to Heather for being so awesome and checking this for me. **

**Also - Special thanks this time to:**

**Ewen – Oh, sorry. I know it was sad. Hope you like this one, please let me know.**

**Time Lady 802379 – Thanks for the mention! Really appreciate it. More DoctorWhump to come very soon (and not much TLC for a while from here on. It's about to get very nasty again! Please comment again – I'd miss you otherwise! BTW, when's the next update for DTSOOTS coming? It's so good! Enjoy this chapter :()**

**TimeLadyofthePings – I know, he never does. He does think he is doing the right thing for Jackson though. He's wrong obviously. Enjoy and please comment again.**

**Chapter 14**

The Doctor quickly moved down the staircase, pausing to take his coat off of the banister and draping it over his arm. He stood on the bottom step for a few moments, looking up at the landing above. Once again, he doubted this decision. And already, he missed Jackson.

The Time Lord sighed. Jackson didn't deserve this. He had supported the Doctor, treated him as a true friend and last night, had gone out of his way to make the Doctor feel wanted and loved. It sobered the Doctor to realise that all of Jackson's efforts, though so appreciated, just hadn't been enough. He truly cared a great deal for Jackson, he knew his feelings for the other man were real and part of him wanted to be with him at that moment. To feel Jackson's arms around him, to know that he was protected and respected; that was all the Doctor had wanted. And even now, as he prepared to take his leave of Jackson Lake for the third time, he wished to could change his mind and go back to those welcoming arms.

But he wouldn't. No, the truth was that he _couldn't_. That all-consuming fear of losing another loved one would never ever go away, no matter how much time passed. He may want to stop, to rest, to be free of the evil and the monsters but what good what that do? That evil would always find him. There would always be evil and darkness stalking him, no matter where he hid and it would be those close to him who would be hurt in the cross fire. His friends would be made to suffer. Lost and alone like Rose. Abandoned like Jack. Tortured like Martha.

Destroyed like poor Donna.

He pursed his lips together. He had no other option. He wanted Jackson and his family to stay safe. His leaving was the only way to guarantee that. And of course, this would not be forever. He would come back for Jackson. One day, when Saunders and the mystery surrounding him were dealt with, the Doctor would return for his friend and then he would be ready. This was not the end. It was merely another temporary break.

And this was all for Jackson's own good. The Doctor was confident that the human would realise that, in time. He was very intelligent after all.

He stepped down, finally leaving the staircase. He squinted through the darkness, trying to focus on the grandfather clock in the corner of the small hallway. It was three am. Still only Boxing Day morning, the Doctor mused. The rest of the household would still be in their deep sleeps, happy and content with each other and their lives. Something the Doctor knew he could never share with them. He needed the excitement, the adventure. He craved it. The risk and the fear made him feel alive. The last Time Lord fighting to stay alive. He had to keep running.

Running kept him sane.

He approached the front door quietly and reached out for the knob, pulling the door open. He looked out into the wintry scene. It had finally stopped snowing.

_Too bad_, he thought, _I like the snow._

There was something so pure, so calming about it. And something so romantic.

He smiled.

His thoughts changed to another night, another place, another time. It had snowed that night too. Well, actually, it hadn't. It had in fact been white ash from a destroyed space craft but that night, when he had first held her hand in his, that had been the first time in so long that he had felt truly alive. No regrets, no guilt, no pain. He had been just starting out in his tenth life and he had felt ready for anything.

He sighed. It all felt a lifetime ago to him now. He had become so old so quickly after losing her. That excitement, that glee, he had lost it again. He didn't know if he could ever find it again. He closed his eyes and saw Rose, her pretty smiling face, her shining blond hair. He wondered where she was, what she was doing. He hoped she was safe and being looked after by his other self, better than he had ever managed anyway. He only hoped that _he_ gave her everything she deserved, everything that the Doctor couldn't.

The coldness of the night air suddenly hit the Doctor and he shivered. He hurriedly pulled on his trench coat and wrapped it tightly around himself before stepping out into the blanket of snow and began to trudge through it, careful to not slip. He thought of the welcoming warm glow of the TARDIS. As always, he could sense her presence in his head. She was always there, his faithful companion, comforting and loving. He would be lost without her.

Everything would seem so much clearer once he was back inside his TARDIS.

He walked along, his hands buried in his coat, lost in his own thoughts. So lost, in fact that he almost jumped out of his skin when a loud female voice rang out, breaking the silence.

"Doctor!"

The Doctor closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Rosita. He should have known. How did he ever think he could just slip away into the night, unnoticed? Now, things would get all the more complicated. He turned around slowly – and then took a step back. Rosita was glaring daggers at him. She was furious.

"Where do you think you're going?" She stormed, her arms crossed. "This better not be what it looks like, Sir," She paused, her eyes narrowing further. "'Cause it really looks like you're leaving. Again."

The Doctor struck his hands deeper into his pockets. "I have to go, Rosita. I need to."

"No you don't!" She threw back, stopping him in his tracks. "Jackson is what you need. Why can't you stay with him and let yourself be happy?" She lowered her voice slightly as she added; "You'll break his heart."

He sighed. "I'll come back." He reached out for her hand but she refused to take his. Instead, he stared into her eyes. "I promise," he told her. "I'll come back for him."

She shook her head in disgust. "You don't need to go! Jackson isn't a fool. He can help you."

The Doctor looked down. "He can't help me."

Rosita swallowed hard. She looked hard into his pained gaze and saw the agony and humiliation. Her heart ached as she suddenly remembered everything the Doctor had been put through by Saunders. She understood that he was afraid and confused. What she couldn't understand was how he chose to disregard the love and healing someone was offering him on a plate. If only she could force him to see, shout some sense into him. But, to her regret, she realised it was impossible.

She tried anyway. "I know you've been through an awful lot, Doctor," she began, more quietly. "And what those men did to you, it was sickening and I am sorry for what happened." Now, she did step forward and grasp his hand, squeezing hard. "But you have to move past that. Those men are gone, they can't touch you again. And you have people here who want to help you. You belong here. Just you wait, you'll see that I'm right."

The Doctor said nothing for a few moments, just continued to stare down at the snow at his feet. Finally, he looked back up at her and for one beautiful moment, Rosita thought he may actually agree. But in the next instant, her hopes were dashed.

"I'm sorry, Rosita."

She stared at him for a beat and then turned away in fury, her hands now placed on her hips. When she looked back at him, her face was flushed and he could feel the hate radiating off of her.

"Do you know something, Doctor?"

"What?" he asked, quietly.

"When he thought he was you, Jackson was better at being "The Doctor" than you will ever be! I wish you'd never come here!"

He was unnerved by her anger. Now, she could see how much she cared for Jackson. He had underestimated the extent of her feelings for the human and he was sure Jackson had no idea. But it was clear to him now, Rosita was in love with Jackson.

The Doctor shook his head slightly. As if things were not complicated enough!

"This is for the best, Rosita," the Time Lord whispered. "All I ever cause is suffering and pain. You know that."

"He loves you."

"He'll move on. Right now, he's better off without me."

Rosita gave the Doctor a stinging slap to his cheek. He stared at her, stunned. She then proceeded to wave her finger in his face.

"You keep telling yourself that," she spat. "Leave then, Doctor. Go off and be on your own. You deserve it."

He cringed. How could he make her understand? "I'll come back, Rosita. I will."

Rosita was so angry, she couldn't prevent herself. She wanted to grab the silly alien and shake some sense into him! Instead, she attacked him with her words, no longer caring about the effect her cruelness had on the obviously devastated and broken Time Lord. "You know? I'm starting to believe that we would all be better off if you didn't come back. Jackson, myself, little Frederick and the whole big wide world! Go and stay gone!"

With that she spun round and stormed away. The Doctor watched after her dejectedly. All he wanted to do was call out to her and stop her. Was he doing the right thing leaving now? Could Jackson help him. Could they help each other?

At that moment, Rosita whirled back round and screamed into the night.

"_Oh and I'll tell Jackson you said goodbye for you, shall I?"_

She didn't wait for a reply, merely turned back around and continued to march off. The Doctor felt wet tears slipping down his face and knew she had cut him deeply. All he knew for sure was that he could not let her tell Jackson he had left him, not in her present furious state.

He opened his mouth, ready to call out after her when suddenly a hand appeared out of nowhere and clamped over his mouth. The Doctor froze, stunned to discover that he was being held firmly in a punishing grip. He panicked, murmuring into the sweaty palm that was preventing him from crying out for help. He didn't need to see his attacker, he knew exactly who it was. He could sense him. He moaned, staring at Rosita's disappearing back. She didn't even pause; completely unaware of what had just occurred. If anything, she hurried her pace. It crossed the Doctor's mind; even if she did know, would she even want to help him?

He wasn't sure.

Despair and fear struck the Doctor and he began to pull against Saunders' hold, desperate to be free.

Saunders smirked as he tightened his grip and then leaned in close, cackling softly in his captive's ear.

"Don't struggle now, Doctor. No one will hear you."

He felt the Doctor flinch and heard his soft whimper.

He smiled. So the arrogant alien was scared of him. Good.

"Oh Doctor," he purred; "Revenge is going to be so sweet."

TBC


	15. Chapter 15

**Evening peeps! I promised a quick update and here you go! There's some violence and Doctor suffering in this chapter – and (hopefully) a surprise at the end! Please R & R, I need your feedback! Thanks :D Oh and btw – how amazing is Torchwood: Children of Earth?**

**Time Lady 802379 – Hows this for a quick update! Not much TLC though I'm sorry to say. Enjoy this one and tell me what you think :) Ill be emailing you v soon btw! :)**

**fi3fi3 – Thanks – hope you like this chapter :)**

**TimeLadyofthePings – Sorry, I know its getting scary – but the Doctor is going to fight back, I promise. Hope you like this chapter.**

**Ewen – I know, Im being cruel to the poor Doctor and Im afraid to say its gonna get worse before it gets better! Hope you comment again :)**

**Chapter 15**

The Doctor went limp. He closed his eyes and tried to control his fear as he allowed Saunders to drag him without resistance. What was the point of struggling and tiring himself out anyway? It was the middle of the night and the street was deserted. Everyone else in the city was tucked up safely in their beds as they slept off of their Christmas celebrations. No one would come to his rescue. The only hope he had was at that moment marching away without a second thought for him. In fact, as far as Rosita was concerned, by the time she saw Jackson later that morning the Doctor would be long gone. And, in her view, it was good riddance. He was completely on his own, alone with the one man who had haunted all of his nightmares for days.

'Things aren't going to plan,' the Doctor reasoned grimly. Even that constant, comforting presence of the TARDIS in his mind could not help him now.

"That's right, lad," Saunders whispered. The Doctor cringed as the other man moved his hand suggestively inside the Doctor's clothes, touching and groping him at his leisure. The Doctor could only moan his displeasure. He was helpless in this evil humans grip. Saunders relented, taking his hand away and once more grasping the Doctor's arm. "You do exactly as you're told, Doctor and things won't be too unpleasant for you," he paused. "Well, no more than necessary anyway."

He laughed as he continued to drag the Doctor backwards, his right hand still covering the Time Lord's mouth. The Doctor let Saunders have full control and he didn't struggle. He knew that Saunders had the advantage and was stronger than the Doctor was in that moment. The Doctor knew he would have no chance to better Saunders in a fight and to attempt to would be a big mistake. He would bide his time. His opportunity to escape would come eventually, it always did. And he would have to be ready.

Suddenly, the Doctor felt surprisingly warm as heat replaced the freezing cold air and he realised that they had entered a small building. Without warning, Saunders flung the Doctor across the tiny room hard and the Doctor only just prevented himself from crashing to the floor. He had no time to compose himself however before Saunders was once again upon him.

The evil man struck the Doctor hard across his face. The strike was vicious and sudden and gave the Doctor no chance to defend himself. The Time Lord had seconds to recover from the blow before Saunders followed up with a hard punch to the Doctor's midriff. The force of the second blow sent the Doctor to his knees where he slumped, fearful of more blows and gasping for breath.

His stomach churned when he heard Saunders' spiteful chuckle.

"Perfect," the human mocked, "Just where I like you to be, Doctor; crawling at my feet."

The Doctor slowly looked up into the hated man's leering face and sudden rage seized him. What was he doing? Why should he take such cruel treatment from this human? What exactly had he done to deserve it? He watched as Saunders aimed another punch at his face and instinctively, he reached up and grasped his enemy's wrist, halting the incoming blow. Saunders hesitated, clearly taken aback by the fire that had suddenly appeared in the alien's eyes.

"No more," the Doctor breathed. "Stop this."

Using all the strength he had, he pushed the human back. Saunders found himself thrown backwards, shocked by the force of the blow. It dawned on the man once again that the Doctor was much more powerful than he looked.

_That is why breaking him is so much fun, Benjamin._

Before Saunders even knew what was happening, the Doctor was on his feet and rushing towards the open way out. Leaving Saunders gaping uselessly in his wake, the Doctor could almost taste the freedom as he raced towards the door and the inviting snow beyond it. He was nearly there. All he wanted was to get back to the safety of Jackson and Rosita and of course, he had to warn them that Saunders was back. The horrible man no doubt would seek revenge against them as well as him. The Doctor would not let that happen.

He had made a huge mistake, he reasoned. He should never have left. Rosita had been right. He would have to remember to apologise to her, ff he got out of this situation, obviously.

Just as the Doctor reached the door and had one foot out into that cold night, he stopped in shock. He was suddenly face to face with another man, one he had not seen before. He took an unsure step back, his hand balled into a fight. The newcomer made no effort to restrain the alien, he merely moved forward, forcing the Doctor back into the room and away from safety. The Doctor met his gaze and saw no malice there. Could he even see pity there instead?

Saunders' saw his chance and leapt to his feet.

_Stop him, fool! He must not escape!_

Just as the Doctor was considering his chances of sidestepping the stranger and getting past him, he had momentarily forgotten about the furious Saunders. With a roar of fury, the bastard grabbed the Doctor by the scruff of his neck and dragged him away from the other human, back to the far side of the room, away from the exit. He threw the Doctor unceremoniously to the ground and proceeded to launch a frenzied attack on the Time Lord, kicking him repeatedly, his face red with anger and the effort. The Doctor was powerless to fight back, all he could do was curl up into a ball and hope that the human didn't go too far and beat him to death. Accidentally or not, this was not how the Tenth Doctor had hoped his current life would end being pummelled to a pulp by an insane, vengeful human.

"You freak!" Saunders spat, between kicks. "You little bastard!"

Everything was fading to black and the Doctor knew he was heading for merciful unconsciousness when suddenly, the blows ended. The Doctor opened his eyes nervously to find that the other man had grabbed hold of Saunders as was now restraining him from finishing the Time Lord off. Saunders was trying to force his way free but his companion held firm. Finally, Saunders relented and held his hands up in surrender.

Almost apologetically, the man released Saunders, and stood back, glaring coldly at him.

"Be careful, Saunders," he said in a gruff voice. "The professor wants him alive."

Saunders nodded hurriedly. "Yes, yes. I understand." He inclined his head. "My apologies."

The Doctor lay at their feet, every movement causing a small whimper of pain. The two men both looked down at him, Saunders smirking while the other, more humane man seemed saddened by the Time Lord's bruised and broken state.

There was silence for a few moments; the only sound being the Doctor's laboured breathing.

Saunders spoke up. "The professor needs to be informed that I have lived up to my side of our agreement, Johnson."

His colleague frowned. He seemed to know where Saunders was heading and he didn't like it.

Saunders expression however was smug.

"He needs to fulfill his part of our bargain," Saunders added.

Johnson's' glare intensified. "You'll get your dues, Saunders."

Saunders bowed again. "Of course." He transferred his attention to the prone Doctor. "Perhaps he should be informed that his prize is waiting for him."

At this, the Doctor reacted as a shiver ran through his body. Saunders smiled. He knew he had the Time Lord's attention.

Johnson had crossed his arms and looked very unimpressed.

"I think I should stay here," he replied shortly.

Saunders let out a low laugh.

"I promise not to harm the creature again," Saunders responded. "But surely, the professor is much more likely to believe the good news from your good self than from me. Someone he trusts." He looked down once again at the Time Lord and gestured. "And someone needs to watch this."

The Doctor squirmed. _Creature?_ _This?_ It was against his character to take such insults lying down but what other choice did he have?

To the Doctor's dismay, Johnson appeared to be thinking Saunder's suggestion over.

"You won't touch him?" The softly spoken human enquired, with a hint of threat in his tone. "If I come back here to find him dead -"

"If he dies, I will not receive my payment," Saunders interjected. "And I feel that that would be a particularly foolish decision for me to make. This is all about money, Mr Johnson."

Johnson clearly did not believe a word but, unfortunately for the Doctor, the man seemed to recognise the logic in Saunders reasoning. One of them had to return for the Professor, it made sense for it to be Johnson. Still though, he wished he didn't have to leave this poor man at the mercy of such a malicious bastard.

Saunders could see he had won. "Go quickly," he urged. "You have my word that our friend here will be in exactly the same state you see him in now when you return."

Johnson narrowed his eyes. He heavily disliked Saunders but he had a job to do. After a moment's more hesitation, he nodded in agreement.

"I'll lock the door behind me," he informed the smiling Saunders. "I'll return as promptly as possible, with the Professor." He gestured warningly to the Doctor. "Remember your promise, Saunders." With one last regretful look towards the alien at his feet, Johnson hurried away, closing and locking the door behind him.

Saunders clasped his hands together gleefully. "At last. I thought he'd never leave!"

The Doctor cringed at his words and tried unsuccessfully to move away when Saunders reached out to ruffle his hair.

Saunders laughed softly. "You seem nervous, my friend."

The Doctor swallowed. "What do you want with me, Saunders?"

"What do you think I want, Doctor?" He crouched down next to the Time Lord and leaned over him. He was so close, the Doctor could hear him breathing. It made the Time Lord's skin crawl. "You and your companion, Lake, humiliated me," Saunders continued. "I intend to make you both pay. Dearly."

_Yes! Make him squirm, Saunders. Make him plead! Make him beg!_

The Doctor looked up, startled.

"What did you say?"

Saunders' frowned. Was the Doctor disrespecting him? Had the alien still not learned his lesson?

Saunders reached out and grabbed the Doctor's face, forcing the other man to look up at him. "Remember your place, Doctor."

The Doctor was distracted. He had heard a voice and apparently, Saunders had not. It hadn't spoken out loud, he had heard it in his mind. The words had been connected to Saunders but had been uttered by him.

It was something else; something strong, something telepathic. And the Doctor had heard it.

And another memory came flooding back to the Doctor.

That nightmare he'd relived in his dreams that night; the dream that Ianto had invaded and given him a warning. Both Ianto and Saunders had tried to get a message through to the Doctor and finally, he was listening.

"_Look deeper, Doctor. Figure it out."_

At last, the Doctor was beginning to understand.

His soulful eyes met Saunders'.

"Who are you?" the Time Lord asked softly.

Saunders blinked.

"What?"

"Who are you?"

"Have you gone mad, Doctor? You know who I am and you know what I am capable of. I suggest you stop these games at once."

"Who are you really?"

"You are making me angry, Doctor!"

"_Tell me_!"

Saunders, furious and unnerved, once again struck the Doctor across the face, knocking him to the floor.

"Stop this!" Saunders snapped, "I warn you -".

The Doctor composed himself before replying.

"I have nothing more to say to you, Saunders."

Saunders looked thunderstruck.

The Doctor spoke again. "I want to talk to the being inside of you."

Saunders opened his mouth but no sound came out. He searched the Doctor's face, trying to some hint that this was all a clever trick but no, the Doctor was staring at him intently and the look on his face was a mixture of fear and fascination.

This was not a game.

Panic began to rise up inside of the human.

"You are mad, Doctor."

"Talk to me."

"Enough!"

"What's the matter, too frightened to face me in person?"

"You make no sense."

"Let this man go. Tell me you're name!"

"We are alone, Doctor! I can do whatever I wish to you. Take heed!"

Whatever effect Saunders expected his words to have on the Doctor, when the Time Lord threw back his head and laughed the human was truly shocked, and now very scared.

When the Doctor once more met his enemy's eyes, Saunders again saw fire and he took a wary step back.

"We aren't alone, Benjamin," the Doctor whispered. "_You're_ never alone."

Saunders seemed to freeze on the spot. He bowed his head low, staying still for a few moments before raising his head again and the Doctor reacted in quiet surprise. The man's eyes were glowing golden and he was smiling. He didn't speak – he just simply stared straight at the Doctor.

"Hello," the Doctor muttered, unsure. Saunders, or rather the thing inside of him, continued to smile pleasantly, his eyes not leaving the Doctor's. The Doctor felt cold. This was all a surprise to him. Why had he not sensed an alien presence in Saunders before? The man had been very close to him previously, had raped him but he had sensed nothing. The Doctor didn't understand.

"Who are you," the Doctor asked, trying to keep his voice calm.

"Who are you?" Saunders repeated slowly, still smiling.

"I'm the Doctor," the Doctor answered, trying to move closer.

"I'm the Doctor," was the parroted response.

"Okay, please stop."

"Okay, please stop."

"I really don't like it when people copy me."

"I really don't like it when..."

"STOP!"

This time, Saunders didn't repeat the Doctor's frightened shout. Instead, he began to chuckle. The sound was of pure evil.

The Doctor was staring at the man in front of him, his eyes widening with recognition. He shook his head in disbelief. He didn't want to believe it.

"Can't be."

Saunder's grin widened. "I miss the diamonds, Doctor. Do you?" The voice sounded the same but yet was so different to Saunders. It was so cold, so cruel. And so much more powerful.

And it was familiar.

The Doctor closed his eyes tightly.

"You survived?"

The monster laughed loudly. "You underestimated me, Time Lord," came the reply.

The Doctor couldn't deny it. It was right in front of him. He had encountered this evil creature once before: on the planet Midnight. Where it had bettered him, made him helpless and had very nearly convinced a band of very frightened humans to kill him. And now here it was again. And he was alone with it.

He shivered. "You possessed Saunders?"

The alien nodded.

The Doctor shook. "And you made him rape me?" He lowered his voice. "Why?"

"It's not as simple as that, Doctor. But I will explain all, in time." He moved closer and the Doctor recoiled. "I've learned so much since we last met. I have so much I want to tell you, show you. I've grown so much stronger. I can control anything. _Possess anyone_."

To the Doctor's horror, he suddenly realised that he couldn't move a muscle.

The Midnight alien was right by his ear, whispering softly to him.

"And guess what, Doctor?"

The Doctor wanted to scream and shout and run away from the beast. But all he could do was kneel there, silent and defenceless. Just like before.

He felt Saunders pull him to his feet, turn him around and kiss him gently on his lips. He was sickened.

"_I want you_."

TBC


	16. Chapter 16

**Sorry for the massive wait once again. Been so busy lately but finally got there! I really am sorry. Enjoy this one. Some answers revealed here. Also, Big warning – dub-con (almost non-con) sexual assault that is graphic. I know, I'm so evil. Bit different from before this one though. Oh, you'll see what I mean!**

**Hope everyone reading this is enjoying it and isn't getting annoyed by the long waits between chapters. Im trying to get this done as quickly as possible. Promise!**

**  
Thanks to my faithful reviewers:**

**OperationBlueSky – You're back! And then you, ahem, went again! I missed yooooou! "WAILS too!" Please comment on this chapter if you are still reading, Im really interested to know what you think! Love ya!**

**Ewen – Thanks for yet another review and Im glad you love the series. Sorry for the long wait, hope you are still with me! Enjoy this chapter!**

**Kyer – Wow, thank you. Glad you are enjoying this! Oh, tell me about it. I caqn't stand this gap year, it's doing my head in! Thats why Im writing, trying to pass the time! As for the Midnight creature, I hoped it would be something different and as you say, I kind of have free reign. Hope you like what Ive done with it. Please let me know. As for the mate or possess the Doctor – it's a bit of both really. You''ll see what I mean! Thanks for the review and pls comment again! :)**

**TimeLadyofthePings – Yay, I'm glad I shocked you, that's what I was aiming for! :) You'll find out who the Professor is next time! Enjoy and pls comment again!**

**Time Lady 802379 – Hehe! Enjoy this chapter and thanks for your help with TWS aswell :) Please comment again!**

**Fi3fi3 – Glad I surprised you! Hope you like this chapter :)**

**And to my beta Heather – Thanks so much for your patience, encouragement and help. I appreciate it so much!**

**Okay – on we go!**

**A Christmas to Remember**

**Chapter 16**

The Midnight creature smiled as it circled the Doctor, glorifying in the Time Lord's capture. The creature had released the Doctor allowing him to fall back down to his knees, in the position he had trapped the Time Lord in originally. The Doctor was frozen in place, he could not even turn his head to see Saunders and his unholy guest within. He knelt there, trying to fight against the power holding him but it was useless. Just as before, on board that awful shuttle, the alien was stronger.

"I prefer you silent, Doctor," the creature hissed. "I no longer need to hear your voice, or steal it for that matter. I have one of my own now." It laughed. The sound chilled the Doctor. He once again attempted a small movement but the alien held him too firmly, the Doctor couldn't move a muscle.

"You are even weaker than I remember," the alien whispered as it came to a stop directly in front of its prisoner. "Or perhaps _I _am stronger now. Not an infant any longer." It crouched down before the Doctor and gently caressed the Time Lord's cheek. The Doctor was disgusted by the touch but couldn't even recoil. The Midnight alien smirked at him.

"I can feel your fear, Doctor. It is intoxicating."

All the Doctor wanted was to fight back; to force the alien away from him. But there was nothing he could do. Once again, he was the alien's plaything. And this time, there was no one there to save him. This time, he was truly alone.

With a quiet giggle, the creature stood upright once more, pulling the helpless Doctor up with him. He then pushed the Doctor backwards, forcing him against a wall. Tears were now trickling down the Doctor's face, the fear and shame overpowering him. The alien wiped the salty water away and twisted Saunders' face into an almost demonic leer. The creature reached out and place his hand on the Doctor's groin, groping the Time Lord through his clothes. As he connected physically, he also contacted the Doctor's mind, allowing itself entry into the Doctor's thoughts and feelings. The Doctor was an open book to the creature and he was defenseless.

The Doctor could sense the alien's delight as it saw his most deepest, most secret thoughts. The Doctor groaned inwardly as memories of Rose, Donna and Martha flashed through his head. He was sickened as he was forced to relive his darkest moments at the hands of Saunders and Ianto. The creature went deeper and finally found what it was searching for. The Doctor cringed when he saw himself kneeling, scared and helpless, as a group of humans still behind him, discussing his fate. The Doctor remembered how much he had suffered on that shuttle; how terrified and broken he had felt during the ordeal.

The Time Lord couldn't stand it. He didn't want to see this, didn't want to face the day humanity had let him down so badly. He wanted it over.

"_Stop,_" the Doctor thought desperately. "_Please._"

He heard a cruel chuckling.

"_But why_?" He heard a voice inside his head and knew the monster was speaking to him silently. "_You and I, Doctor_. _We were as one. It was a wonderful joy for me._"

"_Not for me,_" The Doctor responded. "_I don't want to see anymore of this_."

The alien was amused. "_Oh really? And why is that_?"

The Doctor could feel his humiliation sweeping through him. "_Please_," he replied. "_Just stop_."

After considering his request for a few seconds more, the images abruptly vanished. The Doctor was relieved. He could still sense the alien's presence in his mind though and knew the alien was still in complete control. There was no escape, not even in his own head.

"_Release me_," the Doctor thought.

"_I don't think so,_" was the triumphant response.

"_What do you want_?" The Doctor could feel anger growing within him. "_Why have you done this to me_?"

More amused chucking. "_Because I can_."

Realising that the answers to those type of questions were not going to be easily forthcoming, the Doctor switched tack.

"_How did you escape? I assumed you had been destroyed back on Midnight._"

The alien was indignant. "_Destroyed? By a human? I think not!_"

The Doctor hated the feeling of superiority he could sense within the creature. "_Have you forgotten?_ _You_ _were outsmarted by a human. A lowly air hostess to be exact. Deedee also had you figured out"_

Booming laughter filled the Doctor's head and he moaned from the discomfort. "_Outsmarted? Me? No, Doctor. You think I would remain with my sweet Skye to share her fate with her?_" It was enjoying the conversation, far more than the Doctor was. _"No, my dearest Time Lord. I jumped."_

The Doctor was stunned. "_Jumped_?" He inquired. "_Into whom_?"

The alien was delighted. The Doctor had suspected nothing. The alien had fooled him completely.

"_I moved_," the alien whispered. "_Into poor, clever Deedee._"

"_Deedee?_" The Doctor was crestfallen. Innocent little Deedee. The girl who had been brave enough to speak up for him against the others. She had tried to stop them in their plans to murder him and they had threatened her life too. Why had it chosen her? "_When_?" he asked quietly.

"_Just before the air hostess and Skye disappeared into the beautiful Midnight ligh_t," it told him. "_Deedee had no chance, she never sensed me once and no one else took enough notice of her during the entirety of the trip back to realise that I had moved on. Not even you_." The Doctor felt a wave of guilt at this. Hew knew it was the truth. He had hardly looked at any of the humans once it had been over. He couldn't. It had hurt to much. The creature sensed his pain and anguish and he felt it glow with happiness. _"Sky was dead before she even realised she had her freedom returned to her,_" the alien continued. The Doctor was sickened. He saw Skye and the hostess falling through the door, clinging to each other, screaming their death cries. The creature had shared his memory and was enjoying it. _"That poor brave human girl. She thought she was saving you. Stupid thing. She brought you time, Doctor. Nothing more. She died for nothing!"_

The Doctor hated this being. For the memory of that Air Hostess he didn't even know the name of, for Skye and any other innocent this creature had destroyed, he would put a stop to it. He had too.

"_Is that right?"_ It taunted the Doctor cursed himself silently. None of his own thoughts belonged to him anymore. He had to be so careful, keep his mind blank. Nothing was private now. Not from this monster.

"_How did you come to be here?_" The Doctor asked, unable to conceal his interest in the creature despite his hatred for it. "How did you meet Saunders?"

The creature sighed. "_I have been on such adventures, Doctor. Many like those I see in here, inside your mind. Deedee and her Professor took me back to Earth and, though her mind and imagination kept me fascinated for some time, eventually it was time to move on. So I left her."_

"_Did you kill he_r?" The Doctor thought, already fearing the answer.

"_No_," the creature replied and the Doctor was relieved. "_I do not need to kill when I jump. Deedee was perfectly fine when I left her, though slightly confused. I passed into another human, an old man. He had a great mind and I learned so much from him_." The Doctor saw images of different life forms the alien had possessed. There were so many, all different species and ages. The Doctor wondered if the creature had travelled across the universe.

"_I have seen many different galaxies but not the whole universe, no, Doctor_." The Time Lord was again reminded that the creature could read his every thought and again, he felt controlled and abused. It was not a nice feeling.

"_So many years went by,_" it continued, "_I travelled from planet to planet with my many hosts, saw civilizations start and worlds end. As I travelled, I learned so much about space. I visited so many beautiful planets, saw so many stars. Very quickly, I became so much stronger and I could lay dormant in a body but still control how my host felt and acted. It was a wonderful sensation."_

The Doctor despised the creature's triumphant tone. It was very powerful and it knew it. And that made it one of the most dangerous foes the Doctor had ever faced.

"_So you can possess anyone and anything?" _The Doctor snapped, trying to show no emotion.

The creature shone once more with delight._ "As far as I know, yes. But I do not take over my hosts; I join with them. They still have control, they still live their lives. I merely nudge them in the right direction."_

"_And what about Saunders?_" The Doctor spat. "_You are controlling him right now. Taken him over completely to talk to me."_

"_You demanded it!"_ came the quick reply. _"Saunders is sleeping right now. When I return his body to him, he will remember none of this conversation. I find amnesia keeps my hosts sane."_

The Doctor was silent for some time. The creature waited patiently. Finally, the Doctor asked his burning question. "_And raping me? Was that your idea or his?"_

The creature was pleased._ "Saunders desired you. I made him see that what he wants, he can take."_

The Doctor blinked. _"Saunders desired me? Sexually? It was not just revenge for him?"_

The being laughed. "_Oh no. He wanted you. He wants many men. He just needed me to gain the courage to take what he desired. Whatever the cost." _As the Doctor took all this in, the alien smirked before adding; _"Ianto too."_

The Doctor was stunned._ "What are you saying?"_ He didn't want to believe it. _"You were responsible for what Ianto did to me too? You made that happen?"_

"_Ianto was fascinating_," the being whispered, clearly delighting in the memory. "_He loved Jack so much and wanted to help you for Jack's sake. But bubbling just under the surface was all this delicious jealousy and fear that Jack would leave him for you. All he needed was some convincing from me to push him over the edge. It didn't take much effort."_

"_The voice in his head,"_ the Doctor whispered. "_That was you?_"

"_Yes_," it said proudly. _"I do miss my dearest Ianto. Torchwood was a wonderful place. So many secrets, so much hatred being kept just at bay. So many emotions to feed off of. I took Jack over once too, you know. He is truly wonderful. A human that can never die. And so much desire for you. I couldn't make him see that you were his, sadly. You would have been to suspicious. Oh, Doctor. There was so much food for me. I would like to go back there and see what else I can devour from him._"

The Doctor could once again sense its pleasure in the memories. He shivered.

"_And there is this joy that the humans share with each other, the glory of giving one's body to another." _It was getting excited, the Doctor sensed. _"Sex is power, Doctor. I discovered it so long ago, whilst I laid within Deedee and, as I have now found, sex with you is the greatest thrill of all. I want more, Doctor."_ A cruel smile. _"And so does Jack. Perhaps he and I will be able to take what we want together one day."_

Something snapped inside of the Doctor. His need to protect Jack perhaps or the desire to make this creature hurt. He wasn't sure. But he suddenly felt stronger.

"_You leave Jack alone_," he snarled. "_You hear me?_ _You leave them all alone!_"

The creature smirked. "_You are too late for that, Doctor. You took me there after all._"

That stopped the Doctor in his tracks. Disbelief flooded through him. He tried to pull away once again from the alien's hold on him but couldn't. He was trapped in his own mind with the creature and its horrible thoughts and there was nowhere he could go, no way to shut the creature out. He wouldn't listen to it though. He couldn't.

"_You're lying_," the Doctor snapped. "_I would have known_."

The Doctor could sense the creatures glee and triumph and he detested it. "_How else would I have travelled from here to there? And back again? You and your ship, Doctor. You carried me within you both._" It paused, ready to ram it's point home. "_And tell me Doctor, what made you kiss Jack as you said goodbye? And to give him a tiny piece of hope that will come in the future. Were you not breaking your laws there? Slightly out of character for you, would you not agree? That was me, my friend. That was my influence. And in that moment, you gave yourself to me as easily as the rest."_

"_No_," the Doctor moaned and again tried unsuccessfully to block the alien out. He was dismayed: to have been used in such a way by this thing and not even have felt it. This was complete humiliation for the Time Lord. He broke down, knowing the creature could see all of his despair and no longer caring. It had possessed him and he hadn't even known. How was he ever supposed to fight it now?

The creature was silent for a moment; allowing the Doctor to digest all of its words.

Finally, it said; "_There is an important question you have yet to ask me, Doctor._"

When the Doctor didn't respond immediately, the creature tapped ever so gently on his mind, just a not-so-friendly reminder that it was in control and had decided to be very kind up to that moment. If it wanted, things could get a great deal more unpleasant for the Doctor and he needed to remember that.

Slowly, the Doctor again reached out to the alien with his mind.

"_And that is?_"

"_My name_."

The Doctor shrugged inwardly. He didn't care what its name was.

The creature sensed the Doctor's indifference and it bristled with annoyance.

"_Do not make me angry, Doctor."_

"_Tell me then_."

"_Say please."_

The Doctor cringed. He would not play this creature's games.

"_SAY IT!_" The creature bellowed and the agony in the Doctor's head was immense. He had no choice but to submit, it painfully dawned on him.

"_Please_," he thought, softly.

"_Eros_," came the proud reply. _"My name is Eros."_

The Doctor frowned. "_After the Greek God, I assume_?"

"_Of course_," Eros said, happily. "_He loves to misbehave and have fun. He was also happy to learn. Just like me."_

"_You're no God_," the Doctor snapped.

Suddenly, the Doctor's mind was free once more and Eros was standing before him, his body pressed up against the Doctor's and he was using Saunders' hand to gently massage the Doctor's crotch.

"Is that so?" Eros asked, out loud.

The Doctor fought against Eros' unseen hold on him, tiring himself out with the strain. Eros merely stood, enjoying the Doctor's futile struggle. Finally, the Doctor stopped resisting and could only stay there, trapped in his own body, exhausted, as Eros carefully undid the Time Lord's trousers and slipped them and his underwear down to the ground. The alien then grasped the Doctor's penis and began to stroke it. The Doctor still could not move; the only sign of his displeasure was in those soulful eyes. They were wide with shock and tears were leaking out. The Doctor tried to send a wordless message to the alien assaulting him.

_I don't want this. _He thought desperately. _Please stop touching me. _

"You don't want this, Doctor?" He replied. "You do not require my touch? Then _you_ stop me. If I am not a God, as you have told me, then why can you not prevent this from happening?"

To his ever growing horror, the Doctor realised that he was beginning to react to Eros' skilled touches and was growing hard in his grasp. The sensations were so new to the Doctor and entirely unwanted. He should feel this with Jackson for the first time, with someone who loves and cared for him. Not in this sordid, horrible manner.

He felt Saunders lips kissing his neck and he wanted to close his eyes so he didn't have to see. This time, he didn't even have that defense. Slowly though, the embarrassment began to be replaced by different emotions. Strange feelings were flowing through him and he had to admit, they were not all bad. He even enjoyed some of the responses his body was giving.

This actually felt good.

Very good.

For the first time in a very long time, the Doctor felt pleasure. And it was growing with every gentle stroke from Eros.

_Don't stop._ The Doctor couldn't help but shout out in his head. _Keep going. I can feel this. I want this._

Eros smiled at the Doctor. "You see how I can make you feel, Doctor? You see how generous your God can be?"

_Yes. _The Doctor replied silently. _Please don't stop._

Eros slid down to his knees and with one long knowing glance at the Doctor, took the Time Lord's whole length into his mouth and began to suck.

If he could, the Doctor would have screamed his joy. This felt unbelievable. What Eros was doing to him was wrong, especially for a Time Lord, and he should not be enjoying it but he could not deny it. He didn't want this to end.

He began to feel something inside of him building. He wanted to move his hips, wanted to cry out and beg for his release. He wanted to pant and moan his pleasure. But Eros would not allow him that luxury. The Doctor felt as though he would explode. He was ready to burst. Just a few moments more and he would reach perfection. Just like all those humans, he could now share in the true joys of love. And Eros would show him, he would give this pleasure to him.

Just as he knew his climax was coming, just when he was ready to give up everything to the being in his knees before him, Eros pulled back and rose to his feet, leaving the Doctor to stare wide eyed at him, unfulfilled and confused.

Then, Eros began to laugh. And his influence over the Doctor was lost.

The Doctor, now once more thinking clearly, realised what had happened.

_No._

He wanted to sob. The monster had forced those feelings onto him, made him enjoy the assault. And he had begged and pleaded for it like any common whore.

"Do you see?" Eros whispered, glancing down at the Doctor's weeping cock. "You are no different from the others, Doctor. All it took was a tiny bit of influence on you and for you to discover the true pleasure of the flesh. You would have given yourself to me."

The Doctor was in turmoil. His body was still silently crying out for Eros' expert touch to finish what he started but his mind was screaming his anguish. How could he let this happen to him?

_Finish me._ The Time Lord pleaded. _Do it. _

"Am I your God, Doctor?"

The Doctor couldn't reply.

"Answer me!"

There was no other way out. The Doctor couldn't bear it.

_YES! _He screamed inside his head. _Please! Help me!_

With a cry of triumph, Eros reached out, taking hold once more of the Doctor's swollen cock and began to pump it quickly. In no time at all, the Doctor was screaming and crying soundlessly as he rode his orgasm, something he could not even remember enjoying before. He came all over Saunders' hand and when he was done, Eros clasped his hand into a fist. The Doctor was suddenly released and he collapsed to the ground, mentally and physically exhausted. He laid there, his body wrecked with sobs. He could not stop the tears from flowing. He was beaten and broken and now, forever defiled. And the realisation was causing his entire being to shake. And it hurt.

"I am your Lord, God and Master, Doctor." Eros was saying. "And you will bow down before me."

The Doctor stayed there, not raising his head. He didn't want to look up at the creature that had defeated him.

"Saunders enjoyed that too, Doctor." Eros said, spitefully. He was smiling cruelly at the devastated Doctor. "We both thank you."

Now, the Doctor looked up. "Both of you can go to Hell." He hissed.

"Oh, Doctor," sighed Eros. "Still defiant."

"Always."

"Ah well. The time has come." Eros moved to stand directly over the Doctor, his hands held out before him. "I will miss Benjamin but I am ready to move on." The Doctor paled in understanding. Eros smirked. "Are you ready to accept my power to you once more, Doctor?" Another cruel grin. "This time, forever?"

"Why me?" The Doctor whispered, agonised and afraid.

"Because yours is the greatest mind I have ever connected with," the alien offered. "And with you, I can go anywhere in space and time. Imagine all I can learn, all I can experience. It has to be you. And you will give yourself to your God, Doctor."

Though still on his knees, a new defiance spread through the Doctor. And his eyes blazed with fire. Give up his body, his life, his very soul? Give up his TARDIS? No way. He would not give in again to this beast.

"No," he snapped.

Eros blinked. "Excuse me?"

"I said, no," came the stubborn reply.

"You will obey me!"

"No, I won't."

"I will take what I want! With your consent or not, whore!"

The Doctor rose carefully to his feet, clearly in pain but ready for the fight.

"Give me your best shot," he breathed.

With a shout, the golden glow in Saunder's eyes beamed brighter than ever. The Doctor watched, scared but exhilarated, as the light left Saunders eyes and soared up high, between the two men. It hovered there for a moment and then whooshed back downwards, towards the prepared Doctor.

The Doctor yelled in anger and pain as the light surged into his own eyes. Immediately, he could feel Eros and the being's intelligence and strength. The Doctor instantly threw up a brick wall and he could hear Eros wailing in frustration. No matter how much the being threw itself against that wall, it could not break through. The Doctor held firm. The Time Lord was shaking from the struggle, his hands raised in defense as he threw his whole being behind that wall, desperate to keep the self proclaimed God at bay. Eros was shouting insults in his head, demanding entry and threatening the Doctor with death and worse but still the Doctor refused to give in.

With one last desperate effort, the Doctor slammed his mind against Eros, sending the alien spiraling backwards, out of the Doctor's mouth and straight back into the Saunders, the only place the alien had to go too. Saunders, who had staggered two steps in complete confusion as the struggle had gone on, froze once more as Eros easily retook control. When the Doctor saw Saunders' eyes once more glow golden, the Doctor gasped in shock and sagged back against the wall, realising it was over. He felt his nose bleeding; an after effect of the fight; and he quickly wiped away the blood. Every part of his body and mind were screaming their agony at him. But he'd done it. He'd won.

Eros was staring at the Doctor with a mixture of respect and fury. The Doctor calmly watched him, his chest rising and falling steadily.

"You fought me," Eros stammered.

"I beat you," the Doctor corrected him.

Eros glared. "Perhaps," it said softly. "For now. But how long do you think you can fight me, Doctor. Look at you. The strain has nearly killed you."

The Doctor forced himself to stand up straight again. "I'll fight you to the end," he replied, his eyes hard.

Eros could only stare at him, awestruck.

"We shall see."

He smiled, recovering quickly.

"Perhaps dear Benjamin still has a part to play after all," he purred. "I shall give you back to him, Doctor. He has a plan of his own, after all. If you want me, then you will surrender to me. Simply call my name." He lowered his voice. "You will be mine, Time Lord. Better that then the fate Benjamin has in store for you, believe me. Join with me and Saunders will never harm you again. You have my word." He smiled. "Oh and you may want to make yourself respectable. We do not want to get Benjamin excited now, do we?"

The Doctor rushed to pull up his trousers. He certainly didn't want Saunders to find him in that state. All he could do was stand there, still weakened and bruised as Eros prepared to unleash the Doctor's other nemesis on him once more.

"Goodbye Doctor. Have fun."

As the Time Lord watched, the golden glow slowly faded from Saunders eyes and the man blinked a few times before he managed to focus on the nervous form of the Doctor.

Saunders' cold eyes narrowed dangerously.

The Doctor swallowed hard. His situation had just got even worse.

TBC


	17. Chapter 17

**Hi all! Okay, here's another quick update for you! The plot moves on quite a lot here and new characters are introduced. I'll be interested to hear what you think :) Usual warnings for violence and an attempted sexual assault. This one isn't too bad though.**

**A million thanks to my loyal reviewers. I wouldn't get by without you guys. TimeLadyofthePings - It's not getting light just yet, Time Lady 802379 - Thanks, as always. And see, a quick update, just for you. *Tosses Time Lady a banana* Enjoy this chapter hun! Kyer - Another great review. Thank you. I'd be interested to read your fic, do you have a link? And yes, the chapter (and this new one) took me while to write. They were both toughies. Looking forward to your views on this latest chapter. Ewen - Thanks for another review :) Nope, the Doctor hasn't given up just yet! And yep, I think you may be right that Jackson may not be too pleased to hear the Doctor enjoyed Eros' attentions... Please comment again!**

**Hope anyone reading enjoys this and please review! Thank you :)**

**Heather, you are the best! Thanks again!**

**A Christmas to Remember**

**Chapter 17**

"Tell the truth, damn you!"

Saunders struck the Doctor in the ribs once more, leaving the wretched Time Lord curled up and gasping on the floor below him. The seething human then began to march across the room, his hands balled into fists. He shook his head, trying for the millionth effort, to make sense of the situation.

"I'll ask you one more time," he said, softly and slowly. "What did you do to me?"

The Doctor didn't respond. He closed his eyes. These accusations had begun the moment Saunders had woken once more and had discovered he was suffering with quite a painful headache; a left over of the battle between Eros and the Doctor. Saunders had been quite unnerved by the agony he had found himself in and had instantly concluded that the Doctor was the cause of his great discomfort. And nothing the Doctor could say could convince the raging human otherwise.

"It was Eros who treated you to that headache," the Doctor tried again, rubbing his forehead with the back of his hand, wearily. "Well, to be exact, I happily gave it to Eros when I threw him out of my head. He decided to retreat back into you when he realised I was stronger than he thought." The Doctor shrugged before continuing, "Now, thanks to him, you have the pleasure of suffering with it instead. Sorry about that." The Doctor placed his head on one side. "Maybe our new God isn't used to feeling pain. Interesting."

_Only desperate lies. Take no heed._

"Enough!" Saunders stormed, not understanding a word the Doctor had said but still trying to remain in control. "Stop this nonsense!"

The Doctor raised an eyebrow. "Oh, sorry," he replied, flippantly. He was beginning to feel like his old self. Winning the fight against Eros and now cheeking Saunders was certainly good therapy for him. He grinned. "Can't keep up, hey Benjamin?"

Saunders froze. He knew the tide had started to turn and he didn't like it. With a yell of rage, he flew into a tantrum, raining blow after blow down on the poor Doctor. The Time Lord was still not strong enough to fight back physically so all he could do was hold up a hand to try and fend Saunders off. Though he was slightly successful, he still was forced to suffer much of the beating.

Finally, Saunders' anger subsided and he relented. The violent attack came to an end as abruptly as it had begun. The Doctor lay at the bastard's feet, moaning softly. He wheezed and was relieved not to cough up any blood. He was sure the insane human had done a considerable amount of damage to his chest. He would need the TARDIS again to recover properly.

"Doctor," Saunders stated, wiping his bloody hands on a spare bit of rag. "You_ will_ answer my questions. Why does my head feel ready to burst when moments before, I was healthy and in no pain at all? Tell me or suffer further."

_Make him pay! Make him scream!_

"I've already told you, Saunders." The Doctor tried to pull his battered body up into a kneeling position but found that he was too weak. He slumped back down and fixed Saunders with a disapproving glare. "I did nothing to you and no amount of punishment you deal out to me will alter that fact." He looked directly into the other man's eyes. Saunders was the first to look away. "I am being honest with you, Benjamin," the Doctor said softly. "The fact that you feel so ill right now, I am not to blame."

"Liar!" Saunders spat and gave the Doctor a vicious kick, causing the Time Lord to cringe and roll painfully on to his side, trying to block out the bullish human thug. The Doctor would never be able to convince such a closed mind. Saunders was not interested in the truth. Why should he be, considering Eros had probably been whispering the words Saunders wanted to hear ever since the human had awoken? What chance did the Doctor have?

_He is a witch! He is using his powers to confuse you!_

"You used your demonic power against me, did you not?" Saunders whispered, his eyes blazing.

"What power?" The Doctor replied, with a tired sigh.

"Don't treat me like a fool, freak!" Saunders bellowed back at him. "You can move objects, even men, just by willing it to happen." The Doctor saw a flash of unease appear on that red face, just for a second, it was there. "And now, you've cast a spell against me!"

The Doctor sighed. "I'm not a witch, Benjamin," he glared. "Did Eros want you to call me that?"

Saunders bristled. He eyed the Doctor accusingly. "I do not know what you are, Doctor."

"I told you before, I'm a Time Lord!" The Doctor said, smugly. "But I don't expect you to be able to even begin to imagine what that means!"

_Smug and self important isn't he? He is humiliating you, Benjamin. Are you going to allow this?_

Saunders noted the meaning of the words and tone and he moved forward quickly and bent over the Doctor, leaning right into the other man's face. "I care not for your words. You are whatever I want you to be, alien. And perhaps I could yet see you tried as a witch and burned at the stake, if I choose that path." He smirked as he watched the Doctor's stubborn expression falter just for a second. "I suggest you remember that, my Lord."

The Doctor couldn't resist. He suddenly reached out and wrapped his hand around the other man's wrist, pulling him close and taking him by surprise. "Saunders, if you don't listen to me, you are never going to escape."

Benjamin shook his head, chuckling. "Escape what exactly, Doctor?"

"Escape Eros, the alien that is living inside of you right now."

_Lies Benjamin. Evil, pathetic lies._

Exasperated, Saunders jerked his arm free of the Doctor and turned his back, walking away. "You are boring me now, friend."

The Doctor slammed his fist against the ground in frustration. "You know what Saunders? Have it your way." He gazed down at the floor dejectedly. "I know I can't make you believe me." His tone changed, becoming interested. "But tell me about the voice that keeps whispering to you."

Saunders glared. He didn't turn around. "What voice?"

"The voice in your head."

"There is no voice," Saunders spat back, a little too quickly.

The Doctor tried again. "I can't hear it but I know it's there. I sense it."

Saunders scoffed and looked away.

_He will try anything to confuse you. Remember that._

"How long has he been speaking to you, Benjamin? How long has he been manipulating you?" The Doctor leaned forward, toward the clearly unnerved human. "Let me help you. I'm the only man on this planet that can. Listen to me!"

Saunders clenched his fists and his eyes flamed as he spun back round, regarding the Doctor with pure hatred. The Doctor pursed his lips. His ruse had worked, he had Saunders worked up again. If he could just hang on for a few moments longer, if he could just make Saunders angry enough to realise the truth.

Saunders jammed a finger towards the Doctor and furiously told him; "There is no silent voice." The Doctor wondered who the man was actually trying to convince. "The only voice I can hear right now, is yours." Saunders, quickly grabbed a handful of the Doctor's hair, forcing the Time Lord to look up at him. "And I have _heard enough_."

Still gripping the alien's hair, Saunders dragged the struggling Doctor to his feet and slammed him bodily against the wall. The Doctor called out in pain as the air was knocked out of him. He pushed back against the human, trying to dislodge him but couldn't free himself from the vicious man's grip. He was just still too weak to put up a decent fight. Saunders could subdue him easily.

_Have some fun, Benjamin. Use him. You know you desire him. Do it._

The hateful human smirked. He liked it when the Doctor fought back. It made the victory all the more enjoyable.

"I was thinking Doctor," he hissed nastily. "Perhaps we can find another use for that wonderful mouth of yours?"

The Doctor stared at him. He shook his head helplessly.

_Not again. Please._

_XXX_

Jackson yawned. He had been awake for a few moments and was feeling happy, satisfied after a good night's sleep. He opened his eyes and stared up at the ceiling before glancing over at the clock. Three am. Still so early. Jackson shrugged. He didn't care, he was with the Doctor, they were together and Jackson wanted to spend as much time with the alien has humanly possible. Considering how sweeping his life was, any time they could find was a bonus.

It was time to start the new day. The first day of the rest of his and the Doctor's lives. He chuckled. Such a cliché, the Doctor would so disapprove!

With a smile, he turned to look over at his lover, wondering if the Doctor had slept as soundly as he had.

Jackson gasped. The Doctor was gone.

"Doctor?" Jackson called and then, much louder; "Doctor, where are you?"

There was no response. Jackson swept the bed covers aside, throwing them to the floor in his panic and leaped to his feet. His eyes darted around the room and quickly realised that the Doctor's clothes were also missing. He was fixed by an unforgiving feeling of dread. Something was seriously wrong. Where was the Doctor?

Jackson tore the bedroom door open and rushed onto the landing, only remembering as he began to charge down the stairs, that he was completely naked. He let out a cry of frustration and ran back to his room, already grabbing for his own trousers and shirt. As soon as he was dressed, Jackson began to yell for Rosita.

He flew down the stairs, shouting her name. He opened every closed door he found in his frantic search for her. At last, she came rushing up to him, obviously concerned for him but also knowing only too well what his grievance was.

"Sir, what's wrong?" She asked unnecessarily. He was as worried as she had expected. She had lain in bed for hours, unable to sleep, dreading this moment. She cursed the Doctor for forcing this onto her. "Why are you up at such an hour?"

"Rosita, he's gone!" Jackson exclaimed, still speaking to loudly in his panic.

"Mister Lake, please," she implored him. "You'll wake Freddie."

At that, Jackson took a few deep breaths, attempting to calm himself. When he tried again, he spoke softly.

"I'm sorry for this state you see me in, Rosita but there is just cause! The Doctor has disappeared." He gestured to the bedroom. "I woke up to find he and his clothes were missing. I'm scared for him."

Rosita blinked. How could she tell him?

"Have you searched the house?" She offered, scolding herself silently for her cowardice. "Perhaps he went out for a walk?"

"Oh Rosita!" Jackson snapped impatiently. "You know as well as I do that it is freezing outside!" He moved toward the main entrance. "I fear something terrible has happened to him."

"Sir, you must calm down." Rosita beseeched but her words just seemed to have the opposite effect she hoped.

"What if someone took him?" Jackson stressed. "What if some brute came into my room last night stole him from," he hesitated, before adding, somewhat nervously, "my bed?"

Rosita swallowed. She looked down at the floor. "You would have woken up, Sir."

Jackson brought a shaky hand up to his forehead. "I have to go out and look for him! I shall go mad if I stay here!"

She couldn't let this go on. She couldn't watch him torment himself any longer. The Doctor didn't deserve Jackson's worries.

"Mister Lake, please don't go out;" she said softly. "There is no point, sir."

Jackson gaped at her. "Rosita, how can you say that?"

"Because he wasn't taken, Sir;" She told him sadly.

"And how would you know that, woman?" He snapped back at her.

She looked down, ashamed of what she had to say next. "Because I watched him leave."

Jackson froze. "You did what?"

Rosita was scared by the dark look that had appeared on that usually kind face. "He chose to go. I tried to stop him but he wouldn't listen to me."

"What are you saying?" Jackson asked in disbelief; "Are you saying that he has purposelly left me? Again?"

Rosita looked away. She couldn't stand to see his pain.

"I do not believe it!" Jackson cried. "You are mistaken. You must be!"

"Sir, I'm sorry," she whispered. "He said it was for you, that he wanted to keep you safe. He cares for you, Mister Lake." She touched his arm gently. "He took this decision for you both. He was hurting, I know he was. He did not want to leave you."

"Then why did he?" Jackson asked in a tiny voice. "How could he do this to me?" He gazed at her, anguished. She felt her own eyes filling with tears. "I love him, Rosita."

What could she say? "Forgive me, Sir."

"Nothing to forgive my dear," he told her, squeezing her hand. He then wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and gave himself a shake. "Tell me, where did you last see him again?"

She frowned. "Outside, not far from the house."

"Will you show me?"

"Sir -"

"Rosita, please!" He begged. "I know you are trying to protect me and I am grateful but I trust my instincts and my instincts tell me that _something is wrong_."

She stood there, hands on hips, disapproving. "He was going back to his ship, he'll be long gone."

"I am pleading with you, Rosita. Just let me try."

He grasped her arms tightly. She could feel his desperation and her heart ached for him. She knew she was cracking.

"Please, help me." He beseeched, not looking away from her.

Rosita sighed. She knew she would regret the choice she was about to make but she could never refuse _her_ Doctor.

She nodded. Jackson gave her a thankful hug. "Do you remember the way?"

"There will be tracks," she said softly. "The snow stopped. God has been kind to us."

He was already moving towards the door. "We must hurry," he told her. "We have no time to waste."

XXX

The Doctor was breathing heavily, his eyes not leaving Saunders. He would not allow this to happen. He was a Time Lord and this lowly human was nothing to him. He would not sink so low again.

"On your knees, my friend," Saunders ordered, a vicious smile on his lips. When the Doctor did not obey instantly, the evil man gripped his shoulders and forced the disobedient Time Lord to the ground. When the Doctor was suddenly aware that his face was once more level with the other man's groin, he began to panic.

He could feel Eros' strong presence again now, deep inside of Saunders. The alien was enjoying the scene playing out before it and it was laughing and jeering at the Doctor delightedly. The Time Lord gritted his teeth. He would not give in, he would not say the creatures borrowed name, no matter what happened to him.

He was stronger than that.

"Just you and me," Saunders drawled. "You're mine."

The Doctor went still. He looked up at Saunders, his dark eyes suddenly wide with understanding.

"Why are you here on your own?" He asked the human.

Saunders paused. This alien certainly liked to keep him guessing.

"What?" He retorted.

"You said you came here to find Caroline and Jackson," the Doctor continued, "to save your families honour."

"That's right," came the reply.

"So," the Doctor asked; "where are the rest of your family?"

Saunders was silent for a few moments. He shook his head, trying to shut out the Doctor's words. "What does any of this have to do with you?"

"Why are you really here?" The Doctor asked. "Why are you really trying to please your Father?"

"None of your business," he snapped.

"Did he find something out about you, Benjamin? Something he disapproved of?" There was no taunting in the Doctor's tone and he continued to speak calmly and politely. "Did your Father find you with another man?"

"SHUT UP!" Saunders exploded, smashing his fist into the Doctors face. The alien's head was knocked to one side but still he did not relent. After a beat, he spoke again. "He sent you away, didn't he? Banished you from his sight? You came here to win back your fathers love again. It won't work."

At that, Saunders jerked his head up. "Oh? And you know that for sure how?"

"Because in your Father's eyes, you've sinned against God and your family. I'm sorry."

Saunders laughed emptily. "I don't need your pity, freak."

The Doctor shrugged. "Maybe not. But you have it regardless." He put his head on one side, regarding the angry man. "Just one more question. Do you have feelings for me?"

"What?" Saunders blurted out, taken aback by the Doctor's bluntness. He ran his hand through his greasy hair, embarrassed. "No! Enough of this!"

"Is that why you forced yourself on me?" The Doctor wouldn't stop, not until he had some answers. "Eros influences you, makes you think it's alright to take what you want." He paused, watching Saunders thoughtfully. "But you must know deep down, what you are doing to me is pure evil and so wrong." He took a step closer to Saunders, who recoiled. "If you care for me, as I think you may do, then help me. Maybe I can help you. Talk to me, Benjamin!"

_Benjamin, his words are meaningless._

"I don't want to talk anymore, Doctor."

The Time Lord frowned. Finally silent, he stared up into those cold, piggy eyes. He had failed again. This man did not want to be reasoned with; he didn't want the alien's help. All he wanted was the Doctor and the alien could only watch, horrified, as Saunders began to unfasten his trousers. He smiled coldly at the sickened Doctor.

"There is nothing left to say, my Lord," Saunders whispered, with a wry smile. "Come now pull down my trousers for me like the good little whore I know you to be. Open your mouth wide and suck me, just as before."

The Doctor shook his head angrily. "No."

Saunder's face darkened. "Oh, but that is the wrong answer." He grabbed the Doctor's head roughly, forcing his face closer to his hard cock. The Doctor fought back. This would not happen again. Whatever it took, he would stop this. He was worth so much more than this.

At that moment, both the men jumped at the unmistakable sound of the arrival of horses and men's voices calling to each other right outside the barn. Saunders swore under his breath, fixed his trousers hurriedly and moved away from the relieved Time Lord.

"How did they get here so fast?" Saunders questioned, more to himself than to the Doctor.

Before the Doctor could answer, Johnson charged into the room, throwing the doors open. He glanced at the Doctor and then stopped when he saw the state the man was in. He rounded on Saunders angrily.

"You promised me you would leave him alone!"

Saunders grimaced. He had forgotten how Johnson had made him swear not to harm the alien. He hoped this would not affect any of his future plans.

"I had too!" He threw back indignantly. "This _thing _attacked_ me_!"

The Doctor was stunned by this obvious lie. He gaped from Saunders to Johnson and was thankful to see that Johnson was also staring at Saunders incredulously.

"You think me a fool?" He asked, his voice low and dangerous.

"No, not at all!" Came the speedy reply. "You don't understand his power. He tried to escape again, using witchcraft, I had no option but to beat him." He held his hands out imploringly. "I swear to you, in God's name!"

"Don't believe him," the Doctor whispered, his eyes trained on Johnson. "You don't agree with this, do you?"

Pure fury swept across Johnson and his face darkened. "I have been paid by the Professor and I intend to do as I am instructed," Johnson snapped, glancing at the Doctor. "I cannot lose my position." He then quickly tossed Saunders some rope. "Get him ready. My master is outside, waiting eagerly to see him. We leave now." Saunders smiled triumphantly and went to move toward the dismayed Doctor. "One more thing," Johnson added and Saunders regarded him once more. "Never mention the Lord again. His glorious name should not be uttered by such an odious tongue." Saunders was chilled by the coldness in the other man's eyes. Johnson didn't blink. "Understand?"

Benjamin nodded his acceptance and Johnson seemed satisfied. "You've got two minutes," he

advised and turned to leave again. Saunders frowned. "Does time truly matter to you and your master? You returned here in less than ten minutes after all. Mind telling me how?" Johnson glanced back over his shoulder. "Are you insane, Saunders? The trip took us the expected time. Thirty minutes." He didn't notice Saunders drain of all colour at his words. He continued on relentlessly. "Now, the city is beginning to stir. The street will not be deserted for much longer. Hurry yourself!" He rushed through the open door.

Saunders had been stunned into silence, the rope hanging loosely in his hand. He glanced up at the Doctor and the Time Lord could read that expression easily. Uncertainty and true fear. For the first time.

The Doctor couldn't help but feel a rush of excitement. At last, a flash of hope.

They heard an agitated voice from outside. "Saunders! What are you doing man? Bring him out now!"

_Do not be afraid, Benjamin. You are in control._

Saunders came out of his trance, giving himself a visible shake. He glared at the Doctor who was seeing his long awaited opportunity disappearing as quickly as it had arrived.

"Listen to me, Saunders," the Doctor whispered. "Please."

With a snarl, the obstinate man pulled the rope tight and grabbed hold of the Doctor, spinning the alien round and pinning him against the wall. The Doctor hissed in discomfort as his wrists were tightly tied behind his back. He then began to struggle futily as he found himself being dragged towards the doors. "Saunders!" The Doctor was imploring desperately with his captor as he was pulled across the small room. "You have to listen to me, before it's too late. You are being controlled. You have feelings for me, you've admitted that. "The thing inside of you is twisting that feeling into something cruel and sadistic! Fight it. Please, help me!"

Saunders pursed his lips together and, holding the Doctor round the throat with one strong grip, he reached into a pocket and pulled out a rag. He then backhanded the Doctor nastily and as the Time Lord recovered from the blow, he stuck the rag into the Doctor's mouth, preventing him from speaking again. The Doctor could only stare at his enemy now with pleading eyes. Saunders nodded in satisfaction and then continued to manhandle the Doctor out of the tiny building and out into the brisk winter night. As the Doctor was thrown out into the snow, landing with a painful thud on his back, it finally dawned on him that Saunders would never listen. He didn't want too.

The Time Lord forced his head up and saw Saunders striding towards a horse-drawn carriage. He smirked over at the watching Doctor as he knocked politely at the door to the carriage.

Suddenly, the Doctor was pulled roughly to his feet and held by two strong pairs of hands. There was no way he was getting away. He glanced to his left and saw Johnson. The human threw him an apologetic look and then averted his gaze. The Doctor turned to see his other captor and his eyes met those of a human he did not recognise. There was nothing kind about this man, he glared maliciously at the Doctor and tightened his hold on him.

"Bring him closer," a soft, hoarse voice hissed, breaking the silence. The Doctor looked up to see a tall, thin man standing beside an excitable Saunders. "I want to see him." At these words, the Doctor found himself being flung forward and thrown at the newcomer's feet.

Professor Waters peered down at the Doctor, flashing him a wide grin. The Time Lord gazed nervously back. The Professor was a stern looking man but also clearly well educated and a gentleman high up in society. A Free Mason, the Doctor supposed. It was the human's smile that the Time Lord was morbidly drawn too. That grin, it was nearly a mocking sneer and it froze the Time Lord's insides. It was the grin that one would expect to see on the face of Death and the Doctor found himself truly afraid. This man was creepy and cold and clearly did not see a living, breathing life form when he regarded the Doctor. All he saw was a test subject. Professor Waters reached out and stroked the Time Lord's hair, as if he was petting an animal. The Doctor wanted to get away from this man. He had to. He could hurt him. This man_ would _hurt him, the Doctor was certain of that and found himself flinching away from the Professor's touch. His dread increased when he saw the human's evil smile widening.

"Excuse me Sir," Saunders whispered and Waters seemed annoyed at the interruption. Benjamin however didn't notice. "Sorry, Sir but where is my money?"

The Doctor let out a humorless chuckle. Now it all became clear.

"You think money will make him love you again?" he inquired. Saunders ignored him.

The Professor was regarding Saunders with compete disdain.

"I told you," he said in a high voice; "Once I have my proof."

"You have him!" Saunders announced gleefully, pointing at the Doctor.

"Yes," Professor Waters agreed, "But I have no _proof_ in what you say. I _need _proof." He glared at Saunders. "Or perhaps you expect me to kidnap an innocent man off of the street, just on your _word_?"

Saunders was flabbergasted. "I swear to you, Professor!"

The taller man snorted. "Ah, if only that were enough. Sadly though, I need something more." He walked over to Johnson, who inclined his head politely as his Master approached. "You have spent time with the specimen, Dick. Did you see anything that may substantiate Mister Saunders claims?"

Johnson frowned. He stole a glance at the Doctor, still gagged and helpless on the ground and then to the red-faced Saunders, now watching him expectantly. Johnson cleared his throat.

"I saw nothing," he said simply. "I believe this man is simply that – a man." He gestured to a stunned Saunders. "Perhaps our friend here is seeking some revenge?"

"_Liar!_" shrieked an incensed Saunders. "You watched him throw me across the room with one hand!"

"I did not see that occur," Johnson replied, quite truthfully. Of course, he doubted whether his words were in fact that case. One look in those soulful eyes told him the Doctor was something very special indeed. But Johnson was a good, God fearing man and this strange being was part of God's universe. He did not want to watch him suffer any further. "We should leave him here and be on our way, Professor. Before someone starts to miss him."

The Doctor could have hugged Johnson. He was a shining beacon as far as the Time Lord was concerned, the one decent human present and the only reminder at that moment as to why the Doctor fought for the people of the Earth. He stared intently at his savior, hoping that his message got through. Johnson did not react.

Waters sighed. "A pity."

Just as Johnson went to move towards the Doctor, intending to untie him, Saunders spoke up once again.

"Professor, wait."

The Doctor didn't need to look at the small man to know his eyes would be glowing golden at that second. He could sense that Eros had resurfaced. And he knew he was now in big trouble.

"You have a stethoscope, do you not?"

Waters nodded. He looked intrigued by the sudden change that had come over to Saunders. Eros was careful to keep the humans eyes closed.

"Check his heart beat. I believe you will then have the proof that you require."

The Professor blinked. Johnson was confused. He held a supportive hand on the Doctor's arm and the Doctor once again felt a wave of appreciation to the kind human.

"Hold him," Waters barked, already reaching inside his coat. Johnson grimaced as he grabbed the Doctor by both his arms and held him steady. "Sorry," he muttered in the Time Lord's ear, only loud enough for the Doctor to hear. The Doctor's eyes widened when he saw a crude device in the Professor's hands, recognising it to be a very early stethoscope, just as Eros had suggested. The Doctor whimpered and began to struggle, knowing what would happen if Waters held the instrument against his chest. Johnson tightened his grip. "Don't," he hissed. "You will make matters worse for yourself." The Doctor gave in. He knew the man was speaking the truth and still attempting to help him. The Doctor could not get away; it was one man against four. He had no chance.

The Professor pushed aside the Doctor's jacket and shirt to reveal his bare skin. He then held his device against the Doctor's chest and listened intently to his heart beat. Waters stayed like that for a few seconds and then, he gasped. He looked up slowly, fixing the Doctor with a look of disbelief. He moved the stethoscope to the right and his eyes widened in amazement. He then moved away from the Doctor and gazed at the Time Lord in excitement and wonderment. The Doctor knew only too well why. Waters had just heard the Time Lord's double heart beat. He had his proof.

The Professor gave the alien that same evil grin. "At last," he told the Doctor. "You're here."

He touched the Doctor's face gently, pushing away the gag. The alien sighed, pleased to be able to breathe through his mouth once more. He met the Professor's gaze and they remained like that for several seconds. The Professor seemed impressed by the Doctor's resolve.

It was the first of many battle of wills to come.

Waters spun around, now as giddy as a school boy.

"Dick, Mark. Get him inside!" He gestured to the carriage and also waved a hand at Saunders. "Hurry! We leave here at once!"

The Doctor and Saunders looked towards each other. Saunders had no idea what had just happened but he knew the situation had been decided in his favour. It was time for him to receive what he was owed. And then, he could return home with his head held high, rich and important. He smirked at the Doctor and rushed towards the carriage.

The Professor watched as Dick and Mark dragged the Doctor threw the snow. Just as they reached the horse and cart, a voice filled with hate and rage filled the silent night. They all turned and looked, stunned by the noise.

"_STOP!" _

Suddenly, Jackson raced onto the scene, Rosita and Jez right behind him, horror on their faces. Jackson was shouting and waving his arms up and down angrily. "Release him at once! What do you think you are doing? This is_ kidnap_!"

"Jackson!" The Doctor pulled hard against his captors, desperate to get to his lover. He quickly noticed that both Dick and Mark had drawn guns and were considering using them. Just as the Doctor was going to call a warning to his friends, a noise beside him caught his attention. He glanced to his left and his hearts stopped beating when he saw a raging Saunders leaping back down from the carriage, his pistol in his hand. Benjamin snarled at Jackson, pointed the gun and aimed it carefully. The Doctor yelled, "_No."_ Using all of his strength, he wrenched himself free of the two men and barged into Saunders, knocking him over and causing his shot to fly harmlessly clear of Jackson. The Doctor was grabbed again by Dick and pulled away from the now furious Saunders, perhaps for his own good.

"What is this?" The Professor demanded. "We leave now!"

"Come on!" Johnson yelled to Saunders who, with one last look of hatred at Jackson, grabbed the Doctor's shirt, manhandling him to the carriage and throwing him inside harshly. Rosita, Jez and Jackson all heard the Doctor's stifled cry and ran forward. Dick and Mark jumped up beside the Professor at the front of the carriage and yelled to him to go. Saunders watched as Jackson almost reached the horses as they began to pull away. He waved at him and then slammed the door shut him, trapping the Doctor inside, with him and shutting Lake out.

Jackson fell to his knees and could only watch as the carriage roared away. Jez charged after it, still yelling abuse and threats but it was useless, the carriage was quickly out of sight. He walked back to Rosita, shaking his head in defeat. She shook her head, tears beginning to slip down her face.

How could she have been so stupid? It was all her fault.

Realising Jackson was more important than her own self pity, she ran back to his side and threw herself down beside her friend, grabbing for his hand. "Mister Lake? Jackson?" He didn't answer so Rosita tried again, growing desperate. _"Sir, are you alright?"_

Jez skidded to a halt beside her, also trying to gain a response from Lake. "Sir, are you hurt?"

Jackson still didn't reply or even bothered to look around at his friends. He continued to stare after the disappearing carriage, trembling all over.

His agonised cry cut through Rosita like a knife.

"_Doctor!_"

TBC


	18. Chapter 18

**Hi again people! Sorry this one took a bit longer to update then I hoped for but I've been really busy again. Warnings for sexual content and mentions of past rape again in this one. Not to bad though.**

**Kyer - Thanks for another great review. Ooh, the Doctor lowering his heart beat, I didn't think about that. Nice point. I may well mention that in a later chapter and obviously give you a little credit! I thought it would be a nice touch to make Saunders seem like a victim too. Hes basically being used as much as the Doctor is. They'll be more about that later on too. Originally the alien was going to be the Master interestingly enough but i changed my mind as I thought I had more freedom with the midnight alien! I read your fic, really well written and a great story. I hope you comment on this chapter, I'll be interested to hear your thoughts on it.**

**Time Lady 802379 - Thanks for another review. *Gives Time Lady a whole bunch of bananas!* Enjoy this one... more trouble for the Doctor and Jackson!**

**TimeLadyofthe Prings - I know, I just get meaner! Please review again :)**

**darkestboy - Thanks! Please review again.**

**Ewen - Thanks so much! Hope you like this chapter :)**

**Please keep reading everyone! And I really do love your reviews, I find them so helpful. I hope you like this chapter - hopefully Ill be updating sooner this time. Ive got a bit more free time coming up shortly so more time for writing!**

**Okay - onwards!**

**A Christmas to Remember**

**Chapter 18**

"Jackson? Sir? Please, talk to us!"

Jackson didn't react to Rosita's desperate calls. He stayed exactly where he was, staring at nothing. It had begun to snow and large flakes were falling all around once more, settling on the three people's clothes and hair. Jackson blinked his tears away, feeling the coldness on his lips and cheeks. He didn't attempt to wipe the snow away, he was too lost in his own thoughts to be concerned.

Rosita was beside herself. The Doctor was gone, taken forcibly by Saunders and men she had not recognised to God only knew where. If they stayed in the freezing cold for too much longer, not only would they possibly catch their deaths, but, more importantly, how could they possibly help their stolen friend?

"Sir, we have to get inside," Rosita said softly. "We cannot stay out here. We shall freeze to death."

Jackson ignored her words. Instead he looked towards Jed, who had been standing away from the others, obviously trying not to involve himself any further in the drama unfolding. He had come to aid Jackson and his strange Doctor but as far he could see, there was nothing more he could do for any of them.

It had been a very odd day and he had played his part. It was over.

He glanced back over at his companions and was disheartened to find that Jackson was watching him.

"Jed," the older man finally managed, his tone defeated. "You know many people, do you not?"

"Yes sir, some," he replied, somewhat nervously. Rosita had also turned to stare at him. He didn't like her intense look. It made him all sweaty.

"Those men that took the Doctor," Jackson continued. "Did you know them at all?"

Jed swallowed. "Sir, I really did not get a good look." He pointed towards the barn. "They came out of nowhere and everything was so mad, everyone running and screaming." He shivered. "And the gun shot. It was so loud," he hesitated. "I thought you were dead, sir."

"Please Jed, just think," Jackson urged him, ignoring his concern. "How about the coach? Was it familiar?" He gestured hurriedly. "Tell me!"

The young man hesitated. He didn't want to disappoint Jackson but the poor man deserved the truth.

"I am sorry, Mister Lake." Jed rubbed a hand through his wet hair. "I truly did not recognise any of those men or the carriage they made away in." He looked down. "I really am very sorry, Sir. I wish I could be of help to you."

Jackson sighed and finally got to his feet. "Of course," he said politely. "Thank you anyway."

He turned on his heel and strode away from Jed and Rosita, beginning the short journey back to his house. He swung his arms from side to side, his head held high. He stared straight ahead, his face indifferent.

Rosita and Jed exchanged glances.

"Sir, where are you going?" Rosita called after him, hoping to sound a lot calmer than she felt.

He didn't respond to her. He just continued to walk.

Rosita tried again, rushing to catch him up.

"Jackson, stop! Speak to me." A tear rolled down her face before she could prevent it. "Please, look at me."

He didn't. He continued to act as if she did not exist and suddenly, the realisation struck her. She understood. He blamed _her_. As far as Jackson Lake was concerned, Rosita had cost him the love of his life and now he was cutting her out. And he would _never_ forgive her. She didn't deserve his forgiveness.

Jed had cottoned on to the bad atmosphere and had jogged up beside Jackson, reaching out a hand to restrain him. "Mister Lake, wait a moment. Where are you going?"

Jackson shook his head, chuckling. "Where do you think, my friend? Home, of course."

Jed frowned. "But Sir, what about the Doctor?"

The taller man gave Jed a cutting look. "Really, Jed? Can you not keep up?"

Jed didn't know what to say. "I don't understand," he muttered. What was happening here?

Jackson was smiling and his apparent lack of concern chilled Jed to the bone. "It really is quite simple, young man;" Lake was telling him. "I've lost him. He's gone and I'll never see him again. It is time I accepted it. I have a son to provide for and I am going home to be a father to him. As I should have been from the moment I found him again, not chasing all over London after a dangerous alien. I have been a fool, Jed and I have now come to my senses." He clasped the boy on the shoulder. "Now I can begin to live my life for myself and Freddie."

Rosita, now walking beside Jed, couldn't stay silent. If this was her doing, she would damned well do her utmost to put it right.

"You cannot give up on him, Jackson. The Doctor needs you."

Jackson's face darkened. He continued to ignore Rosita, though his pace quickened further.

Rosita made one last effort. "What would _he_ do, Sir?"

"I have no idea," Jackson growled. "I am not him."

"You were," Rosita replied.

"And that was all pretend," came the snarled reply.

"You saved me. Was that pretend too."

Jackson's glare intensified. "Perhaps."

"For pity's sake, sir!" Rosita was at the end of her tether. He was as stubborn as the Doctor! "You love him, you told me so."

"I do not wish to talk about this any longer!"

"_You can't just leave him!_"

Jackson rounded on her angrily. Rosita was so stunned by his abnormal behavior, she stopped dead, her eyes not leaving his furious face.

"Why not, Rosita? He did the same to me! He left me here, twice. He does not care about me and yet I am expected to give up my whole life, and Frederick's, to run to his rescue. I will not be treated like this! You told me, woman! You told me I was worth more than that. It is over! I do not wish to hear another word about this! From either of you."

As he completed his rant, he realised he had arrived at his destination. With a sigh, he made his way up his pathway towards his front door. With a jolt, he remembered walking this route with the Doctor so recently and how close he had felt to the Gallifreyan. The Doctor had actually begun to open up to him and Jackson had sensed a change in the alien. His heart hurt as he recalled his own thoughts at the time. Maybe, the two of them could have had a chance, but of course, the universe had to intervene. And now, it was over. He would never see the Doctor again.

He gave himself a shake. He had to concentrate on Frederick. His son needed him. The Doctor was lost, Freddie was still there.

"You can't do this, Jackson!" Rosita called out, no longer caring about being subtle. "You cannot abandon him!"

"Oh yes I can."

"And Saunders?" she questioned. "Don't you care about what he did to the Doctor before? You can't leave the Doctor in that sadist's hands!" Suddenly, with a hiss of frustration, Rosita rushed up to Jackson and grabbed his arm, yanking him back round to face her. "_You love him_!"

"_And you let him go_!" He yelled back at her. "You did this to him. Any suffering he goes though is as much down to you, Rosita, as it is to those evil brutes." He moved closer and she recoiled, stung to the bone by his cruel words. "I have my son to protect. I won't let Saunders take him too. I can't lose him again. He's all I have left. The Doctor can look after himself."

"He didn't before," she gasped. "You don't know what that bastard did to him! We have to help him."

Jackson shook his head. "No. You want to find him, go. I wish you luck as I believe you have nowhere to even start your search." He glared at her with immense dislike and she couldn't hold his gaze. It broke her heart. "Stay away from my house, stay away from my son and stay away from me. I will see you no more." With that, Jackson turned his back on his best friend and pushed open his door. Without even a glance over his shoulder, he marched inside and coldly slammed the door behind him. His message was loud and clear, Rosita was locked out in the cold.

She stood there trembling, her arms wrapped around herself. She was staring at the door in disbelief, part of her still believing that he would not do this to her. If she just waited, he would relent and let her in. After a few seconds, it dawned on her that she was fantasying. Jackson would not change his mind.

Losing the Doctor had broken him and he didn't know how to react. Closing his mind and heart was the easiest and safest defense for him.

And Rosita was the one who had to suffer.

She doubled over, her sobs wrecking her body. Jed placed his arms around her in comfort.

"Come on," he whispered, kissing her head gently.

"He hates me," she whimpered.

"He is scared and confused," the man replied. "He has been through so much. He will come around. Give him time."

"The Doctor may not have any time," she moaned. "Jed, what are we going to do now?"

"We are going to get out of this snow and into the warm," he answered, holding out his hand, "and then we'll work out our next move from there. Come with me."

She hesitated for a second before accepting his offer. Slowly, the two of them walked away hand in hand; neither of them aware of Jackson watching them from the window. Sensing something amiss, Rosita looked back.

There was nothing to be seen. Rosita reasoned it must have been wishful thinking on her part. With a resignated sigh, she turned away.

XXX

The Doctor was lying face down in the carriage, his arms still bound tightly behind him. Saunders was sitting smugly beside the Doctor, one boot resting on the Time Lord's back. He nudged him occasionally, just to remind the Doctor that he was right there and still very much in control. The Doctor didn't know why he bothered, as if he could forget.

Once again, the Doctor's thoughts turned to Jackson. It had given the Doctor hope, seeing his lover again. But to have been so close and then cruelly pulled away again, it had felt like torture. Nothing Saunders did to him now could compare. For the millionth time, the Doctor silently scolded himself for leaving Jackson in the first place; he couldn't even remember his reasons now. It was his stupid pride that had put them all into this mess. He had the inability to never shut up and listen to someone else. Rosita had tried to talk sense into him and he had ignored her until it was far too late. And now, he was paying for his mistake. Not just him, they were all paying.

He was a proud, selfish idiot. And he was probably going to die.

He let out a soft moan. His whole being ached. How long had he been stuck here, in this carriage? And what was waiting for him when he finally arrived at his destination? He didn't want to find out, knew it couldn't be good. But there was always that annoying part of him, that damned curiosity that made him wander blindly into any danger, almost gleefully. Only, there wasn't any glee in him now. Now, he was afraid. And he didn't like it.

"What are you thinking about, Doctor?"

The mocking tones brought him out of his daze. How he hated that voice.

The boot that had been gently prodding his back suddenly slammed into him and he hissed from the abrupt pain.

"I asked you a question, friend."

The Doctor grimaced. "Stuff, Saunders. Doesn't concern you."

Saunders gritted his teeth. And still the Time Lord could not show him the deserved respect. What would it take to make him yield?

_You know the answer to that, Benjamin. _

Saunders did know. But here, in this carriage? With the Professor and that meddling fool Johnson so close by?

_Why not? Don't you want to see him cry again? Beg and plead you for your forgiveness? You know what broke him, Benjamin. You have the power. Make him realise that too. _

Johnson was a Godly man and would certainly disapprove and the Professor may not take too kindly to Saunders claiming his prize. He needed the money, he needed his Fathers approval. He gazed down upon his helpless prisoner. Oh, but how sorely tempting he was, trapped there, unable to fight back. His for the taking. But was it worth the risk?

As Saunders considered his options,the Doctor again spoke up from his hopeless position on the floor. Unlike last time he encountered Eros, as long as he could still speak, he still had a weapon. And he would keep on trying to use it.

"I can't hear its words, Saunders, but I know it's trying to influence you. And you're letting it." Saunders gaped at the Doctor in surprise. The Doctor, unable to see Saunders, continued on, undeterred. "You know that voice in your head is wrong, you must do. Fight it."

_Don't you want to feel him, Ben? Doesn't he look and smell so good? It's just you and him. Why do you wait?_

Saunders closed his eyes and placed his hands over his ears. No. He was in control. This was his plan, he was running the show. Not the Doctor or the gentle words that his conscious spoke, for that was what was speaking: just his own inner voice. The Doctor would not trick him. Saunders had won. He would not give that up now.

With a cold grin, he reached down, for the Doctor. He was delighted to feel the Time Lord flinching at his touch.

"Move yourself onto your knees," Saunders demanded. "I wish to play with you."

"Do you?" The Doctor snapped back stubbornly. He was not a whore. He would not obey. "I'll call out if you lay one finger on me. I'll fight you with everything I have."

"Please feel free. I would be very amused by your efforts."

The Doctor felt the familiar fear rising inside of him. He knew this was Eros making Saunders unable to resist his urges, hoping the Doctor would surrender and call out the alien's name. The Doctor bristled. If Eros truly believed that the Doctor would give in that easily, he was seriously mistaken.

"Johnson will stop you," the Doctor said, swallowing the panic down. In his hearts, he knew he couldn't be defiled by this evil man again. The torment would finish him off, just as he knew Eros hoped. But he had to keep that hidden. He had to keep on fighting, not show any weakness. It was the only chance he still had.

"Johnson?" Saunders snorted. "He does as the Professor tells him. And the Professor told me I could have whatever I wished if I delivered you. And all I wish for is right here." He moved forward, until he was crouched right over the Time Lord. He grabbed the Doctor's belt and pulled it free with one tug.

"How very helpful of you, Doctor," the hateful man noted, with a smirk. "You did not even bother to dress yourself properly after our last encounter! You _must_ want this, deep down!"

The Doctor shook his head violently. "In your dreams!"

Saunders ignored him. "Get on your knees."

The Doctor cringed, his head bowed, his body trembling. "No."

Saunders moved ever closer, his hands running over the Doctor's lower back.

"You could enjoy this, Doctor," Saunders purred. "If you would but allow yourself the pleasure."

"There is no pleasure to be had from your foul touches, Benjamin," the Doctor muttered, "mainly because you are incapable. All you know is how to cause pain. In fact, even the very sight of you sickens me." He threw himself forward, away from Saunders' unwanted attentions. "Now, do as I say and _take your hands off of me_!"

Saunders hissed in outrage and raised his fist, ready to rain down blows on the Doctor's back, not concerned at that moment by what such an action could cost him. How dare the alien freak speak like that to him? How dare it continue to disrespect him? It would pay.

The Doctor didn't need to see; he had sensed Saunders anger and knew what was coming. He tried to prepare himself for the expected beating and could only hope that Saunders would be stopped before he went too far.

The Time Lord tensed. But the blows did not come.

He knelt there, breathing hard, confused. Was Saunders playing with him?

Then, he realised. Saunders was no longer there. The Doctor was unable to turn and look but he already knew what sight he would see. He knew that, at that moment, Saunders eyes would be filled with shining swirling gold.

Eros had returned.

The Midnight alien chuckled. "Aren't you going to thank me?"

The Doctor didn't reply. Eros sighed and placed a far gentler hand on the Doctor's rear than Saunders had before him. "Shall I answer your silent question? Benjamin would have got himself into serious trouble with his elders had he hurt you here."

"Is that why you stopped him?" The Doctor responded cuttingly.

A wide smile spread across Saunders' features. "That," the alien replied, "and I really didn't want to see you all beaten and bruised. I get no joy from such violence."

The Doctor snorted. "You tried to convince humans to throw me out of a shuttle. You wanted to kill me!"

Eros frowned. "I was young then. I understand the value of life now."

The Doctor laughed incredulously. "You don't know anything about life, no matter how many bodies you invade, you won't become that person. You won't ever truly understand what life is." He lowered his voice slightly. "It must be very lonely for you."

Eros flushed. It didn't like the Doctor being clever. It needed him weak. Any sign of strength had to be quickly quashed. And Eros knew how.

"And you would know all about feeling lonely, wouldn't you Doctor?" The Midnight creature began to touch the Doctor again through his clothes, always gentle, never wanted to cause any pain or worry. It wanted the Doctor to relax, wanted him to enjoy the creatures touch. It wanted the Doctor to moan and cry out in pleasure. It wanted him completely.

"Saunders wants you so badly," Eros told the Doctor, whispering into his ear. "All the time, any where he is. He wants to take you, to feel you. To have you."

"And you urge him to go ahead and take what he wants by force!" The Doctor snapped back. "And every time you do it, you're killing a little bit of that man inside. And you know it."

Eros shrugged. He did know it but Saunders was nearing the end of his usefulness. Eros had never cared much for his latest host so the loss would not affect him. Not considering the life he was about to gain anyway.

"When Saunders first encountered me and my previous host, he was merely a frightened boy, terrified of his father and ashamed of who and what he truly was. I showed him to believe in himself. I made him see his life could have some meaning."

"You cost him his family!" The Doctor exclaimed.

"Enough about Saunders," Eros shot back. "Do not pretend to me that you feel anything but hatred for the human, Doctor. Look at what he has done to you."

"What you have done to me, you mean," the Doctor snarled in response.

Eros was bored. The conversation was no longer interesting to him. It was time to change tack.

"Doctor," he began. "Why do you insist on putting off the inevitable?"

The Doctor remained silent, staring stonily ahead.

"You will give in, you must know that. You can't fight me forever."

"I'll give it my best shot," came the dry reply.

"But there is so much you still don't know," Eros breathed seductively. "Aren't you just dying to learn more answers? To know what makes me tick? Aren't you just so _curious_?"

"No."

Eros laughed loudly, then caught himself, looking towards the door. He chuckled and then brought both his fingers to the Doctor's temple. The Doctor instantly began to panic, struggling, trying to knock Eros away.

"Calm yourself, Time Lord!" Eros whispered. "Be still now! I won't hurt you."

"Don't touch me!" The Doctor hissed back. He was fighting, mind, body and soul, to keep Eros at bay and it was taking its toll. He was scared of losing. "I don't want you in my head!"

"I can give you so much pleasure, Doctor. Let me show you. _Remember_."

Suddenly, pure unadulterated ecstasy seized the shocked Doctor and took him over completely. All he could do was cry out in delight as every sensation that he had experienced when Eros had pleasured him came back to him tenfold. He gasped, trying to control his sobs as wave after blissful wave of heavenly delight hit him. Every muscle in his body was buzzing, he felt alive. _This was what living is all about_ he told himself as he once again hurtled towards his climax. Closer, closer, almost there. And as quickly as the wonderful emotions had swept over him, they abruptly ended, leaving the dazed Doctor still kneeling on the floor, trying to recover his senses. He felt like he had been ambushed but it was an experience he knew he wanted to go through again.

_Clear your mind. Let me in. Do you understand how I can make you feel? You will never be lonely again. Let me in, sweet Time Lord. _

The Doctor wanted to obey the voice. He wanted happiness, he wanted pleasure. But something deep down told him to say no, to fight on, not to give in. And he knew he had to listen to those words of warning, because he knew they made sense. So his mind remained a closed book.

_Don't be a fool, Doctor. Allow me inside or you will regret it. Open your mind to me. I warn you._

"NO!" The Doctor screamed and the connection was broken. Eros let out a shriek of anger and quickly looked towards the door. There was still no change, the carriage continued on. No one other than he and the Doctor knew of what was occurring in that coach. He still had time. He would teach the stubborn Doctor a lesson.

"You do not want my gift of pleasure, Doctor?" Eros hissed. "Will this do instead?"

Agony erupted inside the Doctor. It was pain beyond anything he had known before but yet it still seemed familiar to him. He screamed soundlessly, writhing in his bonds, trying to break free. Eros tapped on the edge of the tormented Doctor's mind, trying to gain entry but still the Doctor refused. Still he stayed strong. Through the pain, the Doctor realised where he had felt this like before. Ianto's time distorter. He was reliving the torture, just as he had relived the pleasure of Eros' touches. None of this was real. But how to fight back when it hurt just to think?

How could he make this stop?

As soon as he thought it, the torture ended. The Doctor was slumped forward, having toppled over from the force of the anguish Eros had inflicted on him. The Doctor felt two hands grabbing him roughly and turning him round. A face loomed into view. It was Saunders. The Doctor squinted, trying to focus. Finally, he could see clearly and the first thing he noticed was the golden glow in the eyes had faded again. Eros had retreated once more.

Saunders was back. And he clearly remembered nothing. And this time there was no doubts in that cruel gaze. This time, Saunders damaged mind had filled in any blanks for him. Saunders leaned closer to the Doctor, leering over him.

"Frightened, Doctor? May I suggest perhaps being more respectful to your masters in future?"

He released the Doctor, who fell down onto his back. The Time Lord let out a stifled cry.

Saunders was flashing him an evil grin. It took the Doctor a moment more to realise that the coach had grown still and he could hear raised voices from outside. His hearts sank. The journey was complete.

Saunders pulled the Doctor up, brushing the dust off of the Time Lord's shoulders.

"Guess what, Doctor?" He told him, relishing in the Doctor's obvious fear. "We have arrived. Welcome to your new home, freak." Another dark smile. "It is going to be a fun stay."

TBC


	19. Chapter 19

**Evening all! Here's the latest update for you. Hope you like! Thanks to everyone still reading this, it's certainly proving a lot longer than I expected! There is some minor violence here but nothing too worrying! If you are reading, enjoy and please review! Thanks :)**

**Time Lady 802379 - Did you have a good holiday? Good to see you back. I've run out of bananas though, sorry! Here's your welcome home present, sorry its a bit late! Any chance of an update from you btw, I'm waiting! Enjoy this chapter, looking forward to your comments!**

**PockyisGood - Wow! Thanks so much! So pleased that you are enjoying this story. Thanks for the comment, please review again!**

**Kyer - Thanks for the review and the pm - hoping you like this chapter and as always, looking forward to your comments :)**

**rara saryn - Thanks so much, glad you like it. Really appreciate the review :)**

**Ewen - Don't worry, Jackson isn't beaten yet! And yep, he is my one and only ship with the Doctor :) Hope you like this one, pelase let me know :)**

**TimeLadyofthePrings - You know, I think this is now the darkest I've ever written and there's still some even nastier stuff to come! Jackson was definately in denial. I think losing the Doctor like that was the last straw for him. He's stronger than he thinks he is though plus he does have a very close connection to the Doctor. He may be the Doctor's only hope... :) The Doctor should have stayed with Jackson, thats for sure. I think he realises that now too! Please keep on commenting, hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**Thanks Heather! Love you!**

**A Christmas to Remember**

**Chapter 19**

Saunders was smiling cruelly. It sickened the Doctor just how entertaining this all was for him. How exactly did Eros manage to bring out the worst in humanity? The Doctor shivered. He imagined the monster controlling him, influencing his thoughts and feelings. To Eros, the bond would mean pleasure and never being alone again. To the Doctor, it would mean everlasting torment, to not be able to continue on, travel of his own free will. He would never give in. Perhaps the creature truly could not understand the Doctor's reluctance to join it. Maybe it truly did believe it was offering a better deal. It would continue to try and wear the Doctor down. He would not surrender, he would rather die. After all, to live helplessly and silently, a prisoner of this alien for the rest of his lives, would be a fate worse than death for the Doctor.

And now, as he faced the smirking Saunders, the Doctor knew he had quite a battle on his hands.

"Time to go," Saunders whispered, "After you, my Lord." He gestured to the door.

The Doctor ignored him, continuing to stare at the human, unblinking.

Saunders frowned. "Do not make this worse for yourself, Doctor," he warned.

"Is that possible?" The Doctor muttered in reply.

Saunders' smile widened. "Wait and see," he purred. He stepped past the Doctor and pushed open the door. "Let's get started, shall we?"

The Doctor swallowed his fear. He would not give Saunders the satisfaction to know how scared the Doctor felt at that moment. He gave himself a small shake. No matter how bad things were going to get, they could not be worse than what he had already faced, even in just this tenth life. Daleks, Cybermen, Davros. He'd beaten them all. And now, he'd get through this too.

He stepped towards the open door, his head held high. He looked out to see the manservant Mark watching him. Mark jerked his head. "Out," he ordered sharply.

The Doctor hesitated for a second and Saunders took full advantage. He gave the Doctor a spiteful shove and with the Time Lord's arms still tied behind him, the Doctor had no chance to stop his fall. He stumbled out of the carriage and fell the few feet, crashing painfully to the ground. He landed face first in the snow, gasping in shock at the sudden ice on his cheeks and lips. His face burned when he heard the sound of Saunders' loud, mocking laughter. He closed his eyes. He had been wrong. He'd take facing certain extermination by the Daleks any day over this humiliation. He groaned as his arms were seized and he found himself being dragged back to his feet.

"Sorry about that," Saunders slurred in his ear. "Look now, you have cut your eye!" The Doctor flinched as the evil human wiped the blood away with his finger and then showed the evidence to the Doctor. "Poor baby!"

"Stay away," the Doctor said softly. "Don't touch me."

Saunders' smile faded. The Doctor glanced over at Mark who was still stood by, merely watching. There was no mercy or pity on his face, just indifference. The Doctor knew he could not hope for any help from him.

"What did you say?" Saunders barked.

"I think you heard me," the Doctor replied, fixing Saunders with an icy glare. "I'm not going to be pushed around by a cowardly bully like you anymore, Saunders. No more nightmares, no more visions." His face was grim and his dark eyes blazed with conviction. "Fun time is over."

Saunders seemed to be at a loss for words. He gaped at the Doctor, his mouth falling open and then hurriedly closing it again. He glanced over his shoulder at a chuckling Mark. The other man had his arms crossed and was now watching the Doctor, apparently impressed by the alien's sudden fight back. The Doctor continued to glare at Saunders, practically daring the man to defy him.

_You are losing face, fool!_

Benjamin swallowed. How could the Doctor be that stubborn? Despite everything Saunders had thrown at him, the Doctor kept coming back for more. And Saunders would not let the Time Lord win the struggle. He was cleverer, he was stronger. And he would just have to prove it yet again.

With a feral snarl, Saunders grabbed the Doctor by the scruff of the neck and slammed him against the coach. The Doctor grunted painfully as the wind was knocked out of him. He wanted to struggle, to force the man that was now pressing up behind him and shoving his face against the carriage away from him. For only one of the few times in his long life, he wanted to hurt someone, he wanted to cause his tormentor real pain. And if he hadn't had been restrained, he would have made his Time Lord strength show. He was shocked at the feelings deep within him, he truly felt that he could actually kill a human. Not only kill but also enjoy it.

"Where is your courage, freak?" Saunders hissed. "Am I such a coward now?"

"Yes," the Doctor whispered and moaned as Saunders punched him in the side.

Saunders swung the Doctor round, still holding him against the side of the carriage, and grabbed the alien by his jacket, pulling him closer.

"Let me tell you how this will play out, alien. That bravado of yours, that will power to keep fighting on, no matter how hopeless your position: it will not last for much longer. Not once the Professor starts to cut." The Doctor grimaced at the words but he couldn't escape them; not with Saunders hold on him growing ever stronger. "Do you know," the hateful man continued; "Professor Waters experiments are usually only performed on dead subjects but with you, it seems he will make an exception." He gripped the Doctor's hair and pulled his head to one side, eliciting another gasp from the Time Lord. "And the best part is," Saunders slurred in to his victim's ear. "I get to watch him slice you open!"

The Doctor jerked his head, freeing himself from Saunders grasp but leaving a handful of his hair in the humans grasp. "Is that the best you have, Benjamin?" The Doctor retorted quietly. "Spiteful words and threats of yet more violence?" The Doctor leaned closer. "I. am. Not. Afraid. Of. You. Anymore. Saunders. Try to get that through your thick head." The Doctor actually smiled. "Why should I fear a puppet? Eros on the other hand, you know, the alien inside of you..."

The Doctor's words came to an abrupt halt when Saunders suddenly struck him hard, the force of the blow to his face sending him sprawling again to the floor. The Doctor was dimly aware that the other man, Mark, was now watching Saunders thoughtfully.

"What did he mean?" The Doctor heard Mark ask.

"Nothing," Saunders spat. "He is mad!"

He pulled the dazed Doctor up again, seeing that the Time Lord now had a cut lip to go with the blood still covering his right eye. Saunders glowered at the Doctor as he hissed in his ear. "If you mention that nonsense ever again, you will pay dearly. _Do you understand me?" _

Before the Doctor was able to give a suitably smart reply, Saunders was suddenly pulled away from him and hurled to the ground. The Time Lord could only look on in surprise as the brutish man attempted to protect himself while Johnson dragged him further away from the injured Doctor and kicked him twice in the ribs for good measure. Johnson then moved to stand in front of the Doctor, shielding the Time Lord from his tormentor. Recovering quickly, Saunders leaped to his feet, hands bawled into fists, staring furiously at the Doctor's saviour.

"You keep your distance," Johnson told him, moving closer to the Doctor, protecting him from Saunders' anger. "You will not hurt him again, Saunders. I will not allow it."

Saunders glared dangerously, clearly wanting to jump on Johnson but just managing to keep himself in check. "Allow? You will not _allow_ me? Who do you think you are, Sir?"

"A decent man who will no longer stand by and watch such cruelty." Johnson threw back.

Saunders bristled. "You have no authority here!"

Johnson nodded. "No, I do not and neither do you."

"The Professor -" Saunders began but Johnson cut across him.

"Even the Professor must answer to the Lord God. He has the highest authority over us all and He must be sickened by your treatment of this man."

Saunders stared at Johnson, his mouth hanging open. He was raging but did not know how to respond. Mark was standing beside him, still watching the conversation closely. Finally, Saunders approached Dick slowly, his fists balled at his sides. "This thing," he gestured at the Doctor, "has no rights. He is not like us!"

"Well, we agree on that;" retorted Johnson. "And you? What are you, Saunders?" He no longer cared about the anger his words were provoking in the other men. He had to speak his mind, to save his own sanity as well as this fascinating Doctor that he now realised he not only respected but also cared for. He wagged a accusing finger in Saunders' face. "From where I stand, you are a coward and a bully. Nothing more."

Saunders froze. Mark raised an eyebrow and glanced at Benjamin expectantly. Saunders took a step forward and Johnson clenched his own fists, ready for the fight.

"Is there a problem, here?"

All three men instantly froze and turned as one to find Professor Waters stood behind them, listening to every word. The Doctor moved to stand beside Dick but the human frowned and pushed the Time Lord away, forcing him back against the carriage.

No one spoke for some moments. "I am waiting." The Professor barked. "You argue like school boys! Explain yourselves now or you can all leave this place without payment."

An uncomfortable silence filled the air. Saunders and Johnson were exchanging glares but neither of them wanted to speak. Mark caught the Professors gaze and he shrugged innocently.

"Dick," the Professor snapped. "I am waiting for an explanation."

Johnson hesitated. His fears of losing his position were obvious. The Doctor cleared his throat and placed his head on one side. "Right then, if no one else has anything else to say, I guess that's it." He nodded politely to the Professor. "Thank you for your time. I guess I'll be off now then." And with a beaming smile to a stunned Johnson, the Doctor began to walk past Saunders. "Night all!"

The Professor merely stared in amazement, struck dumb by the Doctor's audacity. Saunders made to furiously reach for the cheeky Time Lord but Johnson cut across him, blocking him. The Doctor saw this and suddenly, this wasn't funny anymore. He knew it was his only chance. He closed his eyes and when he opened them, Saunders, Mark and the Professor were all lying in a crumpled heap on the floor. Dick was the only man still standing and he was staring at the Time Lord in awe. They gazed at each other for a few seconds and then Dick whispered: "Go." The Doctor didn't need telling twice. "Thank you," he muttered and then leaving Dick to gape after him, he broke into a run. He headed straight ahead as fast as he possibly could despite the annoyance of his hands still being bound tightly behind him. Quickly, he became engulfed in the shadows.

The Professor recovered first, scrambling back to his feet and beside himself with fury. He was watching his beloved prize disappearing into the darkness before his very eyes and his hired help seemed to be just standing by, all of them doing nothing. This was simply unsatisfactory!

"STOP HIM!" He bellowed, his eyes locked on Johnson's. His anger increased when he saw that his once loyal servant did not move.

"Get out of my way!" Saunders yelled, finally back upright and managing to barge the larger Johnson to one side. But it was too late. He could only watch helplessly as the Doctor made his escape into the night.

_Fool! He must not get away! _

"We must stop him, Professor," Saunders garbled. "Come, Sir! Run!" Together, they surged forwards, after the fleeing Time Lord. He glanced around angrily for their companions but Dick was clearly disinterested in the chase and Mark had inconveniently vanished into thin air.

Their quarry had come to a halt and was doubled over. The Doctor had had to stop, he could feel his strength ebbing away. His breathing was painful and he was clutching his hearts for support. He knew he could not run for too much longer, he was too weak after the numerous attacks he had suffered in those last few days. He paused for only a second, stealing a glance back to the house and saw Johnson, Saunders and the Professor beginning to give chase after him. He was only metres in front of them. He had to keep going. He was heartened to see Dick ambling behind the other two. The Doctor knew he owed his escape to the human who had fought so bravely for the Time Lord. The Doctor hoped he could return the favour some day.

Now, the Doctor had one thought only. _Get to Jackson_. He looked round and his hearts sank when he saw nothing but pitch blackness. Another look behind him proved that his pursuers were gaining on him. He could not out run them. That's when he saw it, the wonderful sight of the road, just mere feet away from him.. If he could but reach it, he could blend in with the dark and maybe he could stay out of sight. He had a chance anyway. He managed two wary steps before he was suddenly grabbed around the middle and thrown unceremoniously to the ground. He struggled against his aggressor's hold but it was no use, the grip was too tight.

"Where are you going?" A gruff voice whispered to him. The Doctor looked up to find that Mark was straddling him. The Time Lord twisted and turned helplessly, trying to throw the man off but with his arms still bound behind him, it was useless. He was completely trapped.

Mark leaned in. "Are you trying to make matters worse for yourself, Doctor?"

The Doctor didn't bother to answer. Mark smirked and got to his feet, dragging the Doctor up with him. Saunders and Waters were upon them at once. Mark kept a firm hold on the Doctor's shirt, ensuring the Time Lord could not break free again.

The Professor marched up to the Doctor, trying to catch his breath. "You should not have done that," he said carefully. "You will not get another chance to leave here, trust me." Waters clasped his hands behind his back. "Now, what happened back there?"

The Doctor glared at the Professor, deciding it was best not to reply.

Waters' frown intensified. "How did you force three men to the ground without touching us?" The Doctor still did not respond and the Professor glared angrily. He wasn't used to being ignored. "Answer me, I say!"

Suddenly, Saunders dragged the Doctor away from Mark, pulled him close and shouted in his face. "You will do as you are told, freak." He slapped the Time Lord, causing the Professor to wince. He looked down at his feet, clearly disapproving of the violence.

The Doctor, meanwhile, was once again eyeballing Saunders.

"All the monsters of your worse nightmares, you stupid ape, have never made me toe the line," the Doctor announced proudly. "Daleks, Cybermen, werewolves and devils. None of them could stop me. Even my own people tried and failed. How exactly do you hope to succeed?"

Saunders regarded the Doctor for a moment and then smiled nastily. He leaned right in close to the Doctor, forcing the Time Lord to take a step backwards.

"Like this." He whispered coldly and before the Doctor could even react, he was again on his knees sprawling in the mud and the hateful human, his nemesis, was leering down over him, a belt held high above his head. With an exhilarated cry, he swung the belt down hard. The Doctor cried out, unable to prevent himself. Again and again, Saunders struck him and neither Waters nor Mark attempted to stop him. They just stood there, Mark enjoying the show with a sadistic smile and the Professor looking on with disdain but never taking his eyes off of the Doctor.

Then, the beating ended. The Doctor slumped forward, trying to stop his body from trembling. Even though this time his clothes had mercifully not been removed, the thrashing had still hurt like Hell. He struggled to turn around, peering up to find that Saunders was grappling with an incensed Johnson. Dick had wrenched the belt away from Saunders and had flung it clear and Saunders was screaming in Dick's face, apparently very upset that his fun had been halted.

"He deserved it!" Saunders was yelling to an unimpressed Johnson. "He tried to escape!"

Dick shoved Saunders away and once again stood in front of the Doctor, making his intentions to protect the alien perfectly clear. He stared unblinking at his employer.

The Professor was obviously intrigued.

"Johnson, what is wrong with you?"

Dick bristled. "Sir, perhaps you should ask yourself that question?" He knew he was cheeking his master but he couldn't help himself, he had to stop the torture. "You just stood by while this man was being brutalised."

The Professor shook his head. "No Dick. This is not a man."

"Be that as it may, he is still innocent, Sir!"

Waters glanced sideways at Mark who had taken out a cigarette and was in the process of lighting it. He smirked at Dick as he did so, giving the younger man a belittling look.

The Professor tried once more to get through to his once loyal servant. "How do you know he is so innocent, Dick?"

Dick was taken aback. What kind of question was that?

"I do not understand, Professor."

"The I shall repeat for you. How do you know he is innocent? He is not of our world. He knocked three grown men to their feet as if by magic. His own people may be cold blooded killers for all we know. It is impossible for you to know he is peaceful."

Dick swallowed. "He is a good man," he maintained. "I know it."

Waters clenched his fist. "I told you, he is _not_ a man!"

"Then tell me Sir, how are better than him?" Dick retorted, a glance to the now exhausted Doctor. "Look at what we have done to him. Why are we better?"

"Because we are human beings, Johnson. We are superior."

Johnson snorted and stole a murderous look toward Saunders.

"I believe that being human is nothing to be proud of at this moment, Sir."

The Professor tutted and let out a dismayed sigh. He waved a weary hand at the tiresome man.

"What is it you want, exactly, Dick?"

Johnson moved closer to the Doctor, leaned down and gently helped the exhausted Time Lord to his feet. He placed a gentle arm around the slim man's shoulders and then looked once again at his former master. "I want the Doctor to be treated with respect, Professor," Dick stated firmly. "Just look at the state of him. I don't want to see this sadistic treatment of him continue any longer. Be kind to him, that is all I ask of you."

"You weak fool!" Saunders looked about ready to kill. Dick took no notice of him, not taking his eyes off of the Professor, who seemed to be thinking it over.

Finally, Waters spoke up.

"Very well," he said simply.

Saunders gestured theatrically with his hands. "This is ridiculous, Professor."

Waters turned angrily on Saunders. "_I did not ask you your opinion_!"

Saunders hesitated for a moment before smartly choosing to keep silent. The Professor glared at Benjamin for a few seconds more before turning his attention to Mark.

"Peterson, please be so kind as to take our guest to his new living quarters." He paused, glancing at Dick before continuing. "Do not hurt him. Mister Johnson here makes a good point. We are civilised men performing an experiment for the sake of the human race, we are not savages. Treat him well." He lowered his voice. "Then if you could make a start with the preparations, that would be of great assistance. Thank you, my friend."

Mark smiled, inclining his head politely and then took hold of the Doctor's forearm, pulling him forcibly back towards the house. The Doctor's eyes met Johnson's briefly before he was dragged away and he noted the grimace on the other man's face. Johnson had done everything in his power to help the Doctor and the Time Lord felt a wave of gratitude for the man that had fought so valiantly to protect him. He had aided the Doctor in his escape effort and it was the Doctor's own silly fault that the plan had failed. He had been too weak. And as the Doctor was led to his fate, he wondered what would become of his new found friend? The Professor knew now where Johnson's sympathies lay and would have been surprised and no doubt annoyed by the servant's disloyalty. The Doctor could only pray that Dick and his family would not come to regret his ill advised but much appreciated acts of kindness.

XXX

"You give this alien an inch, Sir;" Saunders was telling the Professor, "and he will sliver away again. Mark my words."

"Consider them marked, Mister Saunders," Water replied coolly. He looked around him. "It is beginning to get lighter now, we must hurry. I have sent a message to the London hospital and the Free Masons and they will be expecting our arrival shortly." He rubbed his hands together. "I wish to carry out some tests of my own on this visitor before I hand him over."

He turned to Saunders.

"Prepare my operating room for me, Saunders. I believe you know the wing of the house I use for my work. Go there and wait." Waters was uncaring of the effect his words were having on the fuming Saunders. He was not used to being treated in such a manner and he did not like it. The Professor went on, unaware. "I will send young Dick to join you shortly however I would appreciate a private word with him first, alone. If you would leave us please."

Saunders didn't move. He was watching the Professor with something akin to dislike.

"Am I a slave now?" He muttered, his eyes narrowed. "If I may remind you, Sir, I am still awaiting my payment!"

Dick swore under his breath. How he despised this hateful, disrespectful man. Waters placed a calming hand on Johnson's shoulder and then, his hands clasped together, he again addressed the red faced Saunders.

"Your money is at the house, Benjamin. I will pay, you need not doubt me nor my honour." He smiled coldly. "Once the specimen is delivered to those that will never again laugh at my work, you will be a rich man." He shook slightly. "When I have their grovelling apologies. Then I shall pay you your dues. But not before."

"That was not our agreement, Professor." Saunders mumbled.

"You do not wish to be paid?" Waters inquired. He knew Saunders was so desperate to return into favour with his family that, no matter that he had gone back on his word, Saunders would have no choice but to agree. "Perhaps you would prefer to leave now?"

Saunders strode forward furiously at that, leaning into the Professors calm face, his piggy eyes boring into the taller man's. He wanted to hit him, wanted to make the arrogant, obnoxious man sorry for lying to him. He gritted his teeth. The damned man was still smiling! Saunders would wipe that smirk off of his face.

_Easy, Benjamin. You must keep your temper._

Saunders closed his eyes tightly. _He has humiliated me._

_Yes I know. He is a pompous cretin. Now you must be strong and walk away. Do as he says and set up his primitive laboratory for him. I need you to be clever now Benjamin. And be patient. For me._

Saunders swallowed his pride, chuckled and bowed low to the Professor, who was watching him closely. "Of course, Professor," Saunders purred, turned on his heel and walked away sharply without another word.

The Professor let out a sigh of relief. "Terrible man," he murmured and Dick found himself silently agreeing with his old mentor. Waters reached out and took the younger men's arm.

"Walk me back to the house, Dick," he said pleasantly. Swallowing uncomfortably, Johnson fell into step beside the old man and together, they followed Saunders slowly back to the mansion.

Neither of them spoke until Waters broke the silence.

"What has happened to you today, Dick?"

Johnson frowned. "I am quite well, Sir," he replied, unsure.

The Professor smiled grimly. "I refer of course to your irrational behaviour concerning our strange guest, my friend." He glanced across at his companion. "Johnson, I do not have to tell you how much you and your family depend on me and the position you hold in my household. It seems strange that you would risk everything for this creature."

Dick stared down at the ground. "He is a person, Professor. And he needed help."

Waters laughed softly. "You are a good person, Johnson. Your heart is pure and your trueness to your beliefs do you credit."

Johnson bowed. "Thank you, Master."

"But," Waters continued, now grave, "I must know how much of a problem this surprising appreciation of the specimen is going to be for you. You know my intentions towards it."

It irked Johnson more than he expected to hear the Doctor being referred to as an "it" but he fought hard not to react. He knew better than to give the Professor any more reasons to distrust him.

Instead, he nodded in agreement. "Of course, Sir. I know what must happen and I accept we need to learn from the Doctor. What is he? Where did he come from? I have questions too."

"Excellent!" The Professor exclaimed and clapped Johnson on the back. "There's my missing student."

Dick hesitated for a second and then spoke again. "Though surely Sir, there is no reason to make the Doctor's last hours alive so brutal and cruel is there? I would like him to be hurt as little as possible from now on."

The Professor pursed his lips together. After a beat, he forced himself to smile again. "Fair enough. No one will hurt the specimen, unless necessary of course." He held up a hand. "You have my word, Johnson."

Dick was satisfied. "Thank you, Professor."

The Professor beamed and then grasped Johnson's hand, shaking it vigorously. "That's my boy!" He gestured towards the front doors. "Now go and help that ruffian Saunders set up. I would not trust that man as far as I could throw him!"

It was Dick's turn to chuckle. "Yes Sir."

At that, Johnson turned and hurried away, feeling far happier. He couldn't save the Doctor from his fate, he had tried his hardest but the Doctor seemed to be on a path and nothing could shake him off of it. So be it. At least Johnson's efforts had assured that there would be no more suffering for the Doctor before he met his end. That was the best that could be hoped for.

The Professor stood perfectly still, watching as Johnson disappeared inside the mansion.

"Good," he murmured to himself. "That's that little problem dealt with." Then, an evil grin spread across his lips. "Time to get started then."

With a spring in his step, he followed Dick inside quickly. As soon as he was back in the warm and his servants were running around him, scampering to obey his every whim, the Professor was calling for Mark.

"Peterson! Is everything prepared? Where are you, man?"

He let out a little shout of joy.

"_It's time!_"

TBC


	20. Chapter 20

Hi guys! I know this is a late one and Im sorry but it's been a real toughie to write. This is possibly the darkest so far, there's violence, sexual abuse, torture and humiliation so read this at your peril! The poor Doctor is really suffering here but there is a lot of comfort to come, I promise! I'll try to post the next chapter soon, in the next week or so. Until then, enjoy and please, please review! Thanks peeps!

To my lovely reviewers:

Ewen - Johnson is really conficted. The Professor has always been good to him and he has a little family to think about. He does like the Doctor though so hopefully he'll come through. The is a nasty one for the poor Doctor, lots of torture and stuff. Not fun to write. I think Eros reckons that it would never get to the cutting up, he thinks the Doctor would give in to him long before that. He doesn't know the Doctor very well though... Enjoy and please comment again!

Time Lady 802379 - Okay, cos I've kept you waiting this time, I've ordered a whole lorry load of bananas to be delivered to you, let me know if they don't turn up! Thanks for the review, hope you like this chapter. It's getting seriously nasty now. Dick is still being a sweet guy though, maybe he'll figure it all out and do the right thing eventually! Enjoy and make sure you comment again! x

rara_saryn - Thanks, here's the next one for you! Hope you like and comment again!

TimeLadyofthe Pings - And its about to get even darker still. This chapter was really tough for me to write. Hope you enjoy it anywayz. Let me know :)

**Thanks so much to Heather and Suzie for their help, advice and patience!**

**Okay, on we go!**

**Chapter Twenty**

Mark was pulling the Doctor down a long corridor; his grip on the Time Lord's arm firm but not exactly hurtful. The Doctor allowed himself to be led, not seeing any point in attempting to fight. Mark was a lot bigger than him, the Doctor was still weak and, at that moment, anywhere was preferable to being near Saunders. The Professor had ordered Mark to be kinder and it appeared that the henchman was following his Master's wishes. The Doctor was grateful. It had begun to dawn on him just how tired he was. His body had been put through a lot of abuse in a short space of time and needed time to recover. The Professor had mentioned for Mark to show their "guest" to his room and a rest was something the Doctor could certainly do with.

They had finally reached the end of the corridor and the Doctor found himself standing before a very sturdy looking wooden door. Groping around in his pocket, Mark pulled out a key and quickly placed it in the lock and turned it once. He pushed the door and it opened with a creek. "In." He snapped and jerked his head.

The Doctor hesitated for a second before slowly entering the tiny cell. He glanced around him, his hearts sinking when he saw there was no light shining into the room. There was also no furniture, not even a window. It was small, damp and cold. Freezing even.

"Is this the only guest room available?" He asked, politely. "I was actually hoping for a grander accommodation. Perhaps even a suite. Some furniture? Maybe a nice table? Even a bed-."

Mark let out an exasperated "Humph!" He gave the Time Lord a vicious shove, halting the Doctor's incessant babbling and sending him sprawling. The alien grunted in pain as he collided violently with the floor, adding to his pre-existing bruises.

Moaning with the effort it took to turn his battered body around, the Doctor slumped against the wall with a sigh, his eyes fixed on his agitated captor. "No need to ask you where you stand then?" The Doctor stated, wearily.

Mark raised an eyebrow. "Explain?"

"On the whole 'cruelty to aliens' debate," the Doctor continued softly. "I'm assuming you share Saunders' views rather than Johnson's."

Mark chuckled. "I work for the Professor," he replied bluntly. "I plan to serve him and get paid for my efforts. I don't need an opinion either way."

The Doctor nodded. "Simple as that." He declared, his head resting against the wall. "How very close-minded of you. Never mind then." He waved an uninterested hand. "Thanks very much. I wouldn't be expecting a tip from me."

He was surprised and unnerved by Mark's cold, knowing smile. Mark crouched down in front of the Time Lord. He seemed amused. "I am not close-minded at all, Doctor. In fact, I'm willing to do anything it takes to achieve what I set out to do. This is all a means to an end," the human smirked. "Nothing could be more simple for me."

The Doctor raised an eyebrow. "And how does this all end, Mark?"

A pause and then Mark smirked. "You are the time traveler," he whispered. "The great Lord of Time with this fantastic knowledge. Travelling through all of time and space in his TARDIS. You are almighty, Sir, so they say. You tell me."

A beat and then the Doctor frowned. "Who says? Who told you I travel in time?" Mark didn't reply. The Doctor's eyes narrowed. "And where exactly did you hear the word, TARDIS?"

Mark's triumphant smile faltered for a brief moment and he was clearly unnerved. "Saunders must have told the Professor in my presence."

The Doctor shook his head. "You know far more than Saunders does. In fact, you knowing so much about me happens to be quite impossible. Mind telling me what else you know, Mark?"

Mark said nothing. The Doctor stared at him intensely. With a hiss of annoyance, Mark crossed the room in two strides, dragging the helpless Doctor to his feet and pinning him against the wall. He then began to feel up and down the Time Lord's body. Fearing a repeat of his experiences at Saunders' mercy, the Doctor recoiled from the large humans touches, fixing his eyes on the floor, embarrassed. Mark saw his discomfort and was apparently very amused. He took hold of the Doctor's chin and forced the Time Lord to look up at him.

"Aw, do not concern yourself Doctor. I am not Saunders." He smiled evilly. "You have nothing to fear from my touches." His smile grew wider as he felt into the Doctor's left pocket of his jacket and took out the Time Lord's sonic screwdriver. The Doctor felt his dread growing as he gazed at the innocent little tool in the spiteful humans hand.

Mark stared at the screwdriver closely, regarding it as if it were a prize, twirling the device in his fingers. Finally, his eyes met the Doctor's once more. "The Professor told me to search you for weapons," Mark explained. "And I've gone and found one, I believe."

"That is not a weapon," The Doctor retorted. "It's harmless."

Mark laughed. He leaned in closer to the Doctor. "That's not what I've heard."

Before the Doctor had a chance to fully take in that statement, Mark had turned his back on him, strolled out of the cell and had slammed and locked the door, plunging the Doctor into pitch darkness. The Doctor was left to gaze at the spot where the strange man had been standing. He was lost in confusion, completely perplexed by the conversation he had just had.

This man knew who he was. He knew about the TARDIS and the sonic screwdriver. How could he possibly know so much?

One question constantly whirled around the Time Lord's head as he sank to the ground once again.

_Just who was this Mark? And what else did he know?_

XXX

Jackson was slumped down in a chair in his small sitting room. He had collapsed there with Freddie soon after slamming the front door in Rosita's face. He had his son from his bed, wanting the boy to be close to him. It had not taken long before Jackson had begun to regret his actions that night. He had watched Rosita walking away dejectedly into the darkness with Jed, every part of his being had wanted to call out to her and stop her. It was certainly true that Jackson was still angry and confused, after all so much had happened to him in such a small space of time but taking his pain out on Rosita had been wrong and unnecessary.

The girl he had once called his "companion" had been nothing but loyal to him from the day he had met her and how had he chosen to repay her? By pushing all the blame onto her for something that was truly not her fault. The Doctor was gone, stolen from Jackson and Lake knew he would never see him again. He just had to face up to that truth. He had lost the man he loved. But choosing to shut Rosita out of his life just because she was a constant reminder of that loss had been callous and very cold of him. And he was not a cruel man. He could only pray that sometime he would have the chance to make this night up to Rosita. He was resolved to put this mistake right. The very next morning, he would go to where Jed resided with his parents and ask to see Rosita. He would then plead for her forgiveness and hopefully they could all move past this nastiness. Then they could all put this sorry affair behind them.

A small sigh from the boy sleeping peacefully on his lap brought Jackson out of his muses and he glanced down thoughtfully at his son. He smiled and gently stroked the lad's hair, careful not to disturb him. Frederick was whom Jackson had to concentrate on now. So much time had been wasted, his boy had suffered so much in his short life and Jackson could never lose the feeling of guilt that lay so deep in his gut, that stomach churning feeling that surfaced every time Freddie looked at him.

Jackson had forgotten his own son. He had buried the memory of his offspring so deeply and had lived a fantasy life so that he could hide from the truth. What kind of a coward did that? What kind of man would prefer to deny his own wife and son so that he could keep his pain in check and live a lie instead? Who else could be that selfish?

Lake brought a shaky hand up to his face and wiped the sweat away. That feeling of guilt was so strong now that he was sure it would consume him entirely. He had given everything up and had become the lie, a dream. He had pretended to be a hero that had neither home nor ties so that he could live on with no regrets. The Doctor. A man from Outer Space. He shook his head slightly at the ridiculousness of it all. The one man he had become, the one life he had decided to live instead of his own, had actually managed to find him, despite all the odds. And the Doctor had shown him the truth and forced him to face what had been hidden.

Because of that enigmatic alien, Jackson had been reborn and had been gifted another chance. Frederick had been returned to him alive and well. And now, the future was theirs for the taking. Even Saunders could not harm them now. Jackson would see to that. He was determined to make each day count, starting with the next. That silly fantasy world had died with the Doctor. Now Jackson would wake up and he, Frederick and Rosita could live happily, as a family, just as it should be. He would take this opportunity with both hands and make things right. He owed Fred and Rosita that at least.

Jackson swallowed. There was one, tiny nagging problem that would simply not go away. It was always there, bubbling under the surface and twisting him up inside. The simple realisation that he and his son were alive and together at that moment because of the Doctor made him realize that without the Time Lord, they would all probably be dead right now. Rosita and Jed too, the whole of London even. Dash that, those evil metal men would have enslaved the entire planet if the Doctor had not been there to stop them. And Jackson had thanked the Time Lord how? By forgetting _him,_ just as he had done with Freddie. To save his own suffering. What sort of man was he?

He felt the tears threatening to spill and closed his eyes tightly, letting out a small sob. How could he do this again? He loved the Doctor. How could he just abandon him? What was he doing sitting here? He had to help his friend that had risked everything for him, for the Earth, for no personal gain. He had to find Rosita and Jed. He had to do something. He had to save the Doctor.

"Papa?" A quiet little voice piped up and Jackson froze. He looked down to find Frederick awake and staring up at him with those big brown eyes, watching his Father intently. "Are you well, Papa?"

Jackson wiped at his eyes quickly and then hugged the child closer to him, not wanting to let his son go. "Quite well, Freddie," he said gently. "You should go back to sleep, my boy."

Freddie glanced around him, stretching. The moonlight was shining through the window into the room, brightening up the darkness slightly. The boy rubbed at his eyes, yawned and then gazed back up at Jackson. "Father, what time is it? Is it morning?"

Jackson frowned and went to pull out his fob watch, remembering with a painful jolt that the watch was still broken. Another memory of the Doctor flooded back to him and he pushed it aside, trying once again to block out the images of the alien he loved. He had to accept that Frederick was his whole life now. Frederick was everything he needed.

"It is still early, Freddie," Jackson whispered. "Dawn will not break for a couple more hours yet. You should rest. You have not fully recovered yet."

"Where's Miss Rosita?" Freddie asked, sleepily. "I want her to sing for me."

Again, Jackson could feel that unforgiving feeling of guilt resurfacing within him once more. "She is staying with other friends tonight, son. We will see her in the morning, I promise." He leaned down and kissed the boy lightly on his forehead. "Sleep now, my precious boy. I am here, Freddie." He paused for a moment and then his voice broke slightly as he added, "I'll never leave you again."

Within moments, Freddie was once more fast asleep. And as Jackson held him close, he knew again that he would never risk being separated from his beautiful son again. He owed it to the boy and he owed it to Caroline. The Doctor was dead, he had lost him and he could not get him back. Jackson was a nothing more than a man, he had to face that and there was nothing more within his power he could do to help the Doctor. He had to move on and try to do his best for the sleeping child in his arms. It was all for him from now on.

Nothing and no one would ever come between Frederick and him again. A tear fell from Jackson's eye and landed on his precious son's head. Jackson pulled the boy even closer and finally allowed the tears to flow freely as he sobbed his despair into his child's hair, seeking comfort from the only good thing he now had in his life.

XXX

The Doctor was sat, leaning back against the wall, staring straight ahead. He rubbed at his face with his hands and let out a heavy sigh. He had better vision than the average human but it was so dark in the cell, he could not see his hand move in front of him. He had never been one for being afraid of the dark but in his present position, the blackness added to the feeling of dread.

The Doctor closed his eyes, feeling there was little point in keeping them open, he may as well rest and save his strength. His thoughts turned to Jackson and he wondered what the human was doing at that moment. He hoped that Jackson was safe and with loved ones. The Doctor flinched when he pictured Jackson the last time he had seen him before he had been brought to this wretched place. Jackson had seemed so defeated, in so much despair. He could only hope that Jackson was all right and not worried about him.

The Doctor sighed. Would Jackson attempt a rescue? Would Rosita and Jed assist him? The Doctor wondered if Rosita would try to talk Jackson out of going after his friend, Rosita had made her feelings regarding the Doctor very clear and the Time Lord was sure he would hope for no more help from her. Not that he deserved it. He had been a fool. A stubborn, silly old fool. If he had listened to Rosita, if he had stopped and thought for just one moment, then all of this could have been avoided. But no, he had to let his pride intervene. He just always knew best, didn't he? Well, clearly he hadn't on this occasion.

The Doctor remembered being held so tightly in Jackson's arms, feeling loved and appreciated. He had been scared to share a bed with the human, that was true, but Jackson had made him feel so special, so protected. And he would have stood by the Doctor always; he would have fought for his lover. The Doctor had seen all of that inside the humans mind. He had felt that close to him, that connected. And then he had decided to throw it all away. He had told himself he was leaving Jackson behind for the humans own good, that the alien presence he had sensed had meant there was too much danger, that it was safer for Jackson and his family to be away from all the risk and evil. That is what the Doctor had used to convince himself that by abandoning Jackson, he was actually doing the human a favour.

But the Doctor knew in his hearts that none of that was true. It had all been a lie because the Doctor had simply panicked. Jackson Lake had understood him, had wanted to be with him and he could have shared all of his burdens with this man. Instead, he left him without so much as a goodbye because he was scared. And even though he had tried his hardest to break Jackson's love for him, the human had still come, running through the now and had tried to save the Doctor from the fate he had left open for himself. The Time Lord moaned and banged his head back against the wall in frustration. He was pathetic. Maybe he was going to get exactly what he deserved. He wanted to be able to roam freely didn't he? Too scared to change his pointless existence? Well, very soon, he was going to get all the freedom he desired.

And if Eros had his way, if the Doctor gave up the struggle for one second and let the alien inside, he would become nothing but a vessel. Eros would have the whole of Time and Space at his fingertips and the Doctor would be under the parasites complete control. For the rest of his lives.

"Congratulations Doctor, you've done well," he murmured to himself.

Suddenly, his attention was drawn back to the door when he heard the sound of a key turning in the lock and he heard the familiar creak of the door being pushed open. He closed his eyes in discomfort as candlelight lit up the blackness. He opened them again and wished he hadn't when he saw Saunders beaming at him, a candle in his right hand and what the Doctor could tell was a whip in his left. The Doctor frowned. Another beating shortly, then? He wondered if Saunders (or was it Eros?) planned to ever get more creative with him?

Taking the Doctor by surprise, Saunders was beside him in an instant. He had placed the candle down at his side and was now holding a knife, illuminated ominously by the candlelight. The Doctor flinched as Saunders reached for him and the evil human smiled nastily. He grabbed the Doctor by his hair and threw him forward so the Time Lord ended up lying face down on the ground. Saunders, in one fluid movement, then swiftly cut the rope he had used to bind the alien, releasing his arms finally. The Doctor let out a sigh of relief, feeling the circulation quickly returning to his sore wrists.

Saunders stood and moved away from the Doctor, stooping to retrieve the candle. He stood in the doorway, glaring down at the Doctor. "On your feet," Saunders snarled, raising the whip slightly in warning and then gesturing with the candle for the Doctor to move.

The Doctor pursed his lips together and gave the human a feeble wave. "I was actually going to sleep here, Saunders. Come back later, will you?"

Saunders grunted. Quickly, he crossed the little room and dragged the Doctor up, backhanding him with his whip hand viciously for good measure. He then shoved the Doctor towards the door.

"I said, move," he spat.

"You only had to say please, you know," the Doctor complained, still rubbing at his arms, trying to stop them aching. He walked slowly towards Saunders, who stepped aside to let the Time Lord pass and the Doctor saw that Johnson was standing just on the other side of the door, waiting for them. Dick glanced at the Doctor and then hurriedly looked away, staring down the corridor. The Doctor could see how uncomfortable the human was; he clearly did not want to be any part of these actions but had very little options. He had a family to take care of and had to keep them housed and fed. He was protecting his loved ones. The Doctor could hardly blame him for that.

As the Doctor levelled with Saunders, his eyes glued to Johnson's, suddenly he barged against Benjamin, knocking the man into the wall. He saw that his foe had struck his head and was temporarily dazed. Seeing his chance, the Doctor rushed forward. Johnson raised a hand.

"I'm sorry, Doctor," Dick said softly, "I am truly sorry but I cannot let you go."

A sense of betrayal hit the Doctor hard. "Please, Dick." He pleaded. The man shook his head, put his hand inside his jacket and pulled out some rope.

"Turn around, Doctor. I will not allow you to suffer any further. You have my word on that. But my loyalty is to the Professor, my employer. He is the reason my family is alive. Now please, don't fight me."

The Doctor nodded in understanding, reading the dismay in the other man's eyes. Johnson obviously regretted his actions but felt that he had no other choice. It seemed the Professor had swayed his favourite servant once more. The Doctor had no time to discuss the situation however.

"No, Dick," he said sadly. "I'm sorry."

Dick never had a chance to defend himself against the invisible blow. The force of that power was devastating. One second he was stood in front of the Doctor, baring the Time Lord's escape, the next he was knocked off of his feet and, like Saunders, slammed against the wall. One glance over his shoulder and the Doctor saw Saunders had also been stopped in his tracks and forced to the ground. The Doctor wasted no more time. With one last apologetic look towards the now stirring Johnson, who was beginning to pick himself off of the floor gingerly, Saunders too. The Doctor broke into a run, feeling his way along the wall, stumbling in the dark. He could see the glimmer of the candlelight and knew Saunders and Johnson were right behind him.

The Time Lord could hear his own panicked breathing. He had no idea where he was escaping to or what his next course of action would be. All he knew was that he had to get away, away from this house and these men. He swallowed hard, trying to force the ever-growing fear back down.

The Doctor held back a sob. Now was not the time for weakness. The situation was never completely hopeless. There was always a way out. And he usually managed to find it.

"Doctor!" He heard Saunders shouting his name furiously and he ignored the brute. This was his last chance. He had to take it. "There's no escape, freak!" Saunders again. "Damn it! He can disappear in this dark!"

"He cannot vanish," came the weary, gentle voice of Johnson. Dick, too, then raised his voice. "Please, Doctor. Stop running. Sir, you will only make matters worse for yourself."

The Doctor sighed. Poor Dick. He was still torn, trying to do the right thing. Still attempting to treat the Time Lord with some kind of respect. The Doctor carried on, trying to be as quiet as possible, hope growing within him when he saw a light shining through an open door just ahead of him. He was nearly there.

"Trying to run again, Doctor?"

This time, the voice came from directly in front of him. The Doctor stopped, letting out a low gasp. Mark stepped closer, out of the shadows. He was so near, the Time Lord could make out the outline of his face. The human chuckled softly and lit a match, creating a tiny flicker of light. "The stories about you are true, aren't they?"

The Doctor frowned. Why was this man blocking his every move?

"Who are you?" He inquired softly.

Mark smirked. "All in good time." He paused, before adding with a shrug; "Time Lord."

The Doctor widened his eyes. He opened his mouth to question further but paused when he noticed Mark's gaze had been drawn to something behind the Doctor, and before the Time Lord could even turn to look, he heard the sound of the whip swishing through the air. The blow collided with his bare ankles and he cried out in shock. Saunders then pulled on the whip and the Doctor was sent crashing to the floor. He lay on his front, breathing hard; preparing himself for the rest of the blows he knew were coming.

"Wait!" Johnson snapped. "Don't."

"Don't you start!" Saunders threw back. "You saw him, he tried to escape. Again! He deserves to be punished."

"Not by you," Johnson retorted. "Now, put down the whip, for pities sake!"

"Enough, both of you," Mark groaned. "The Professor is waiting." He grabbed the Doctor and pulled him up.

"Shall we?" He asked him, with a smile. "Oh and Doctor? The Professor will be very interested to see that mind trick of yours for himself. This time, you'll use your powers at his request. Understood?" The Doctor didn't reply and Mark chuckled. "I'll take that as a yes," he drawled in the Doctor's ear and without another word, began to pull him away, leaving Johnson and Saunders standing in the corridor, glaring daggers at each other. A few seconds passed and then Saunders jerked his head towards the doorway. Johnson grimaced, dreading what he knew was coming next.

"Feeling guilty?" Saunders muttered.

Johnson's glare intensified. "How can I not?" He responded. "Unlike you, I have a conscious."

Benjamin guffawed, clasped the other man on the shoulder and then, arms behind his back; he hurried after Mark and the Doctor. Johnson hesitated briefly before closing his eyes in resignation and finally followed Saunders. There was no stopping what was to happen. The Professor was an educated man, trusted and qualified in his field. What would be must be. There was no choice. This was for the best. And as Johnson walked slowly towards the Professors laboratory, he wondered that if he told that sentence repeatedly to himself, maybe it would turn out to be true.

He needed his faith now. It was all he had.

XXX

The Doctor was dragged into the laboratory by Mark, and pushed towards a high, operating table. The Professor was stood alone in the room, a crude version of a medical mask covering his face.

"A mask?" The Doctor murmured. "Very forward thinking of you, Professor."

Waters blinked but did not reply. The Doctor squirmed, staring into those cold dark eyes, hoping to see some kind of emotion or feeling within this human but there was nothing. The mask gave the incorrect impression that the Professor was a man of medicine and was about to do some good. The truth was a million miles away. He was a butcher and the Doctor could see nothing but blood and pain in those eyes. What made him shiver was the knowledge that both the blood and pain this man was about to cause would be his.

The Professor looked the Doctor up and down and then gestured to Mark. "Strip the specimen, would you, Mark?" He pointed towards a robe hanging by the door. "And dress him accordingly please. I am in haste to begin."

Mark bowed low. "Yes Sir." He began to roughly strip the Doctor, not caring as he tore and ripped at the Doctor's favourite brown pin stripe suit.

"Second one of these I've got through in one night," the Doctor muttered, attempting to keep the mood light though inwardly he was cringing in humiliation. "Careless of me."

"Silence!" The Professor barked and the Doctor was struck on the back of his head, causing him to curse inwardly. "The specimen will only speak when spoken to or it shall be gagged. Does it understand?"

The Doctor stared at the pompous man, not sure as to whether he was actually supposed to respond. It seemed he had made the correct decision however as Waters once again turned his back on him and began to prepare. The Doctor's eyes widened when he saw the Professors medical equipment and "tools." There were scalpels of all different shapes and sizes, knives and other cutting devices. There were saws and pliers. To the Doctor, there seemed to be every torture device known to man. The Doctor swallowed hard, forcing the rising bile back down.

_How was he going to escape this? _

Despite his horror at what he could see and the fact that he was standing there now completely naked, he didn't move. He was embarrassed and couldn't prevent himself from turning red but he knew any type of struggle or resistance would only make matters worse. At last, the robe was thrown over his shoulders and he was mercifully covered up once again. He couldn't stop the shame he was experiencing though, all he was now was something to play with, poke and prod. He had become a lab rat. The Doctor glanced again at the Professor, who was nodding in satisfaction. "Where are the others?" Waters asked Mark, as he quickly slipped on an ominous looking apron.

"Coming Sir;" Mark replied. "They got held up."

"I see." He shot a look at the Doctor. "And the whip mark on the specimen's back?"

Mark coughed. "Saunders, Sir."

The Professor glowered. "Right."

"But the alien was attempting to run again, Sir. Saunders had little choice."

Waters glared at the Doctor for some moments. The Doctor couldn't help but shiver. "We must get on. Strap the alien down please, Mark."

The Doctor was then pulled towards the table and restrained by thick ropes at his hands and feet. He couldn't even wriggle let alone move. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to concentrate on happier times, faces of the people he loved and who had cared for him so much in return. The people he had left behind. Jamie, Sarah, Romana and Ace. A tear ran down his face. Rose, Martha, Jack and Donna. He moaned silently.

_Jackson. I'm so sorry._

He deserved this. This was his just desserts for trying to leave behind the good man who had loved him, who had wanted him despite the danger and the flaws. Jackson had offered to share his one and only very precious life with the Doctor. And the Doctor had decided to throw that offer back at him and run. And where had his running gotten him? Alone, scared and strapped down to an operating table, stuck in his own private Hell and about to be tortured brutally. He would be far away from the Professor and his mansion, safe, warm and loved. He would be with Jackson.

The Doctor let out a long sigh and then opened his eyes to find three faces now staring down at him. It seemed Johnson and Saunders had finally arrived. As the Doctor gazed at each pair of eyes, the only kind expression belonged to Johnson. The Doctor could only see cruelty in the other three faces.

Dread filled him.

The Professor washed his hands in a bucket and then stepped forward to the middle of the table. He moved his hands all over the Doctor's body. The Doctor moaned and squeezed his eyes shut. The next thing he knew, his eyes were being forced open again and a candle was shining right by his left eye. The Doctor cringed; knowing one drop of wax could cause him agony and perhaps even blindness. The Professor smiled.

"Ah," he stated. "These are intelligent eyes. There is great knowledge here. I can sense it. I believe that there is much to learn from you, my friend."

The Doctor whimpered as the Professor continued to grope him, assaulting his body. Waters hands roamed lower, touching the Doctor's thighs and the Doctor's whimpers grew louder as those rough hands grasped his cock. Shame once more hit the Doctor, especially as, to his disgust, his body began to respond to the Professors gentle strokes.

"Fascinating," the Professor mused, speaking as though he was lecturing a class. "There are great similarities with his to the human body, even his reproductive organs react in much the same way as any man's. There are some subtle differences of course. His eyes glimmer to reveal the power of his mind and certainly seems stronger than the average male."

He reached over and picked up a piece of wood. "And as you will see," he struck the Doctor on the chest without warning and the Doctor let out a startled cry, "he does not bruise as easily as a man does." He replaced the wood and tapped his fingers on the desk beside the operating table. "I will know more obviously once I get to see inside of him."

The Doctor glanced at Dick. He was staring down at the ground, not meeting anyone's eyes, especially the Doctor's.

The Professor continued on. "There are other tests I wish to perform first of course." Next, he raised a large needle. The Doctor stared at it ominously, trying to control his breathing. Dick was now watching too, his face sickened. Saunders seemed exhilarated and Mark indifferent. Their employer seemed oblivious to all the reactions of his men and took no notice whatsoever of his victim's terror. He carried on, regardless. "I shall begin with testing your blood, alien. I am injecting you with two strong substances, opium and morphine. I wish to see the reaction. Judging by the blood I studied on my way here in the coach, this should be a very interesting experiment."

The Doctor had paled. "Wait," he whispered, desperate. "Just stop a minute."

Waters ignored the Doctor.

Dick stepped toward the Professor, apparently hoping to stop him but a warning hand placed on his shoulder by Mark halted him. He looked on helplessly as Waters placed the needle against the Doctor's arm.

The Time Lord was powerless to protect himself as the needle plunged into his skin. He knew what was coming and he knew how much it would hurt. The Professor was a very clever man. Overdosing on drugs deadly to humans would not kill the Doctor, but it would hurt him like Hell.

It only took a few seconds for the drug concoction to take hold and pure agony swept over the Doctor in waves. It felt to the Time Lord as if his blood was boiling. Unable to prevent himself, he screamed and the sound cut through Dick like a knife. He watched in dismay as the Professor, completely unconcerned by the Doctor's cries, placed a small plank of wood between the poor man's teeth and the Doctor bit down. His screams were smothered by the make shift gag. The pain kept coming. It was non-stop, there was no mercy. This torture went on for many minutes and the Professor stood back to take notes.

Johnson was sickened. He glanced at Saunders, who seemed to be enjoying the torture before him, and at Mark, who was leaning against the wall, puffing on a cigarette and, to Dick's amazement, he seemed bored. Dick could not understand how another man's so desperate sufferings could not move this stranger. How can anyone be that heartless?

Johnson cleared his throat. "Please, Professor Waters?"

Waters looked up. "Yes, Dick?"

"May I leave the room?"

The Professor frowned. After a moments thought, he finally nodded. "As you have no stomach for the history we are creating here, Johnson, you may leave." Dick walked towards the door but was called back. "Dick! You stay outside though and leave the door open. You do not leave that corridor. You understand?"

"Yes sir."

With that, he hurried from the room. He sank to his knees outside and covered up his ears, still able to hear the Doctor's smothered cries. Unable to prevent himself, he suddenly vomited, physically sickened by what was happening inside that room. He was slumped on the ground, his head in his hands.

Dick sat outside for some time, hearing more sounds coming from the room. More screams and cries from the tortured Doctor filled the air and also the sounds of the poor alien being constantly beaten, slapped and other noises that Johnson tried desperately to ignore. "This is a sin," Dick muttered. "A sin!"

Next, the horrible sound of the Doctor trying to beg with his tormenter hit Dick like a brick.

"_Stop it! Please! Please, no more."_

Dick covered his ears but he couldn't shut out the Doctor's futile pleas.

"_Please. Stop this. It hurts!"_

It was too much. Johnson couldn't just stand by and let the Doctor suffer alone. He deserved to have a friendly face in there. Someone who cared that could stand with him and comfort him. Dick knew that he was being a coward. He would face this, he had too. Dick walked back through the door and all three of his colleagues turned to regard him.

"Good," Waters said softly. He was still scribbling down notes of what he was witnessing.

Dick turned his attention to the Doctor. His face darkened as he took in the Time Lord's injuries. He had been badly beaten and burned. There was not one part of him that was untouched. Large bruises and angry welts were beginning to appear on his skin and he was trembling from head to toe.

Dick was shaking himself, though from anger, not pain.

"Why?" He demanded.

The Professor looked up, startled. "I was checking its pain barriers, Dick. So much higher than any humans. He is indeed an interesting subject. An average man would have passed out by now from such agony but the specimen keeps holding on." He smiled pleasantly and Dick wondered if he would be sick again. "He also heals very quickly."

Disgust was written all over Dick's face. "Well, that is good. Maybe you will not kill the poor soul by mistake. And the Doctor is a He, not an It. Kindly refer to him as such."

Waters glared. He turned away from Dick, addressing Mark instead. "One last test for now and then "he" can go back to his room and rest."

The Professor moved back towards the Doctor and stood by his test subject's head, gazing down upon him. He then leaned forward, his lips nearly touching the Doctor's head.

"Before we finish our first session, Mark here tells me you tried to run again."

The Doctor flinched. "I..." He began, but the Professor placed his finger against the Doctor's lips.

"I do not wish for you to speak. You will listen to me."

The Doctor tried to recoil from this man but he was still restrained. There was nowhere for him to go.

"You tried to run from me. You want to ruin my destiny, my revenge. That is simply_ unsatisfactory!"_

He began to walk around the table, towards the Doctor's feet.

"You will not run from me, _Doctor_. I learned a little trick when I was a positioned as a Physician in India. They had a perfect way of dealing with disobedient slaves. When their servants tried to run away, they had a very useful way of stopping them once and for all, without causing permanent damage."

Now being stared at by every man in the room, the Professor bent down and picked up a walking cane from the floor. Saunders was smirking. The Doctor turned and looked at him. He saw exactly what he expected. Saunders eyes were glowing. Eros was enjoying the display. He stayed perfectly still, waiting for the Doctor to give in. The Doctor gritted his teeth. No matter what Waters had planned or how much it hurt, he would not give in. _He would never give in!_

The Doctor tore his gaze away from Eros and back to the Professor who had raised the cane and was ready to strike.

"You have brought this on yourself, my friend."

And he swung the cane down, hitting the Doctor on the base of his foot with perfect aim. The Doctor closed his eyes tightly and cried out in outrage. It hurt like hell. The Professor continued to beat him, flogging him twenty times on both feet in total. The Time Lord was shaking like a leaf and his face was wet from the tears. He had never felt such intense pain. He knew it would be some time before he could walk, let alone run. The Professor knew exactly what he was doing.

The Doctor whimpered as the Professor dropped the cane to the floor and then leaned closer to his victim. His smile of pure evil chilled the stricken Time Lord to the bone.

"Now," Waters purred. "Lets see you run!"

TBC.


	21. Chapter 21

**Hi all - here's the next chapter for you. Sorry, no time for responses to reviews this time as Im running late for work and wanted to get this posted so I'll write extra long comments next update, promise!**

**Thanks to Heather for beta-ing. Enjoy and please r & r!**

**Chapter 21**

"_Doctor!"_

Jackson woke up, sitting bolt upright and still clutching his son closely to him. He was trembling uncontrollably and his face was wet with sweat and tears. From the rawness of his throat, he could tell that he had just been screaming. He closed his eyes tightly again and flinched as visions of the Doctor suffering once more appeared before him. He snapped his eyes open hurriedly and looked down, realising to his distress that, in his frightened state, his grip on Frederick had become painful. He was grateful to see that he had managed to not disturb the boy from his slumbers.

Releasing his hold on Frederick at once, Jackson gently maneuvering the boy so that he was lying alone on the chair. Jackson then rose carefully to his feet, gazing down upon his lad. The soft rise and fall of his chest proved to Jackson that his son was sleeping peacefully and thankfully not experiencing the kind of horrors that Jackson himself had just awoken from. Lake was both relieved and slightly envious of the lad. The man stroked his son's hair thoughtfully as he fought back to the past day. Freddie would never again have to face the terrors, asleep or awake, such as those Cybermen, Jackson had sworn to that. Even the evil which Jackson himself had seen and still had to envision every night in his nightmares, Freddie would remain free of. Jackson himself would never get to be so lucky.

Lake sighed and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. Thank Goodness it had only been a dream. He looked over at the clock. It was ten to four in the morning.

Slowly, memories of the recent nightmare returned to Jackson. He had been dreaming of the Time Lord and it had been terrible, the worst dream he could ever remember experiencing. He had seen the Doctor being tortured, abused and beaten repeatedly. He had more than seen his friends torment, he had also felt every second of it. All that pain, fear and hopelessness had seemed so real, so vivid.

Jackson went to the window and looked out. It was still snowing. He wondered about Rosita and Jed and hoped they were safe and warm and together. He assumed they would have gone to Jed's home, the small but pleasant house he shared with his sister, Emily and her family. Emily's husband, Pat, was a farmer who had moved from the country to London recently to seek his fortune. They were good people. They would cater for Rosita, welcome her into their home and she would work hard for them in return. Jackson slunk away from the window, sadness and loneliness suddenly hitting him hard.

He gave himself a shake. He only had himself to blame that Rosita was not there with him now, comforting him and saying all the right things to make everything seem better. He had pushed her away. And he would put all that nastiness right with her and invite her back into his home. He would not blame her if she refused him of course. Jed and his family would provide for Rosita and give her a good life. They would never reject her, as he had done. What could Jackson offer his former companion now? Certainly not a ride to the stars as he had once promised! He laughed coldly. The stars were more out of reach than they had ever been. No, all Jackson had to offer was darkness, bad dreams and pain. He could see no way out.

And what of the man truly from the stars? The man he had betrayed and could now still hear screaming in his mind? What of the Doctor? Jackson frowned. He had made his mind up regarding the Time Lord. He could not help him. He had had his one opportunity to save the Doctor and he had blown it. His dreams about him were simply his punishment and guilt for that failure.

Knowing the Doctor, he had probably escaped from those evil men by now and was right at this moment travelling on in his wondrous machine. He would never even thin about Jackson Lake ever again. Jackson was mot important.

The Doctor didn't need Jackson.

"They are just dreams," Jackson said out loud, desperately trying to convince himself. "What else could they be?"

Jackson swallowed hard.

He looked out of the window again, that sickening sensation of guilt and fear threatening to consume him once more.

He heard the Doctor scream. Felt the agony of the burning iron being placed against the Time Lord's skin so vividly as if it was he, Jackson Lake, who had been abused and tortured, not the poor Doctor. He heard the Time Lord's desperate pleas for mercy and saw the chilling look in his unknown tormentor's eyes and his stomach knotted in despair.

Had had dreamed of the Doctor in such horrendous pain. And he was so alone, so frightened. Jackson hadn't just shared the Doctor's ordeal, he had seen into his thoughts. The Time Lord did not want to die like that but he had given up hope of a rescue. The Doctor actually believed that there was no one to look for him, that not one person cared.

Lake hissed in anger and slammed his fist against the windowpane.

This was all his fault. He was being a spineless coward! The Doctor's suffering were something he could no longer bare to see. And what if they were not just dreams? What if they were indeed more? What if, God forbid, he had just seen the Doctor's tortures as they had happened, heard his tormented thoughts? Jackson was connected to the Doctor in more ways than he understood but he had never known just how close they truly were. Perhaps, as he had been sleeping here, warm and untroubled, the Doctor had been tortured nearby, terrified and alone?

There was no more time to waste. He was resolved. He would go to Rosita and tell her exactly what he had seen. She and Jed may well want nothing to with Jackson but they would never, unlike him, abandon the Doctor to such torments.

He rushed back to Freddie and carefully shook the little lad awake. Freddie flinched, drawing back from his father, unsure.

"Frederick, do not be afraid. It is only me, son. You are safe."

Freddie relaxed, his eyes focusing on his Father. "Papa, what is wrong?"

Jackson pulled his son into his arms, lifting him from the chair and then began to carry him out of the room and up the stairs, the boy protesting all the way.

Finally, they reached Frederick's bedroom and Jackson placed his son back on the ground and gestured to the door leading to his room. "You must get dressed, Freddie. We must go out immediately. Hurry, please."

Frederick obeyed his father at once. Just as he entered his room, he turned back around to where his father was now stood, waiting for his return. Jackson had grabbed his own coat and had hurriedly thrown it on.

"Go now, boy!" Jackson urged quickly, his eyes moving to the clock in Freddie's room. "No time to be lost!"

"But papa," Freddie whispered, with a yawn. "It is still so early, where are we going?"

Jackson smiled. "To visit Miss Rosita. Please Freddie, be quick. We must leave at once."

With that, Freddie nodded and grabbed his little trousers. Jackson turned back to wards the stairs, his hands covering his face. He had to take Freddie with him. There was no way he would leave the boy alone, Saunders threat was still very real.

There was still a part of Lake that wondered whether all this panic was unnecessary and what he had seen had indeed been a dream and the Doctor was already dead or far, far away, He prayed for the former. If his dreams were real, if these men truly were hurting the Doctor, then Jackson would make them pay dearly.

He could only pray that whatever was happening that night; he had not waited to long to act.

"I'm so sorry, Doctor." He muttered. "Please, forgive me."

XXX

The Doctor was in a state. Every step was painful form him as he made the too long journey back to his prison. He was clutching the arm of a smirking Mark who was walking beside him, the man who had been ordered by the Professor to return the Doctor to his room. He cursed inwardly as another wave of agony swept over him causing his body to tremble, thanks to the unholy mixture of the drugs still in his system and the beatings he had endured. He couldn't even walk alone unsupported now due the continuous blows to his feet. He had to keep hold of Mark to prevent himself from tumbling to the floor and the shame of it was burning inside of him. He could sense the delight and power of man beside him and he hung his head in humiliation.

One thing was definite now. There would be no escape from this Professor for him without help. He couldn't depend on poor Dick aiding him anymore than he already had done. The man was in awe of Waters and completely dependent on him. The perfect way to keep the spirited young man under control. There was no denying however, that without Dick, the Doctor would have suffered so much more.

The Time Lord closed his sore eyes and allowed a small moan to escape. His body ached so much, everything hurt. He wanted someone, anyone, to take care of him, to give him a few words of comfort or even a smile. He thought of his many friends, knowing any of them would have made this dark situation less bleak. The touch of Rose's hand, a sweet smile from Martha, the sound of Donna's laugh. What he would give for any one of them to be with him now.

His thoughts turned to Jackson. Oh, how he needed Jackson. But he had blown any chance of happiness with him in the worse way possible. He had run from Jackson. The opportunity of that life was over before it had begun and the Doctor knew that there was no going back. Jackson would not come for the Doctor, he would never see the kindly human ever again.

This was all there was now. Nothing but the beatings and yet more suffering, hate and cruelty to come. Again and again until the day his tenth life ended. Or, he could surrender to Eros, a alien that had bested him before. He would become nothing more but a spectator in his own body as Eros played with the remainder of his lives. The Doctor narrowed his eyes. No. He wouldn't give in, no matter how hopeless he became. He could not lose. He would battle the Midnight monster to the end; with all the fight he still had left in him. If he lost, the evil alien would have access to all of time and space, it would have it's pick of any life form in existence to control and enslave. It would do all of this in the Doctor's skin, forcing the Doctor to watch, unable to interfere as it spread it's evil to every corner of the universe. That was no life, no future. There was no choice to be made. The Doctor would prefer to be dead then allow Eros to run riot.

"You are being very quiet, Doctor." Mark said loudly, bringing the Doctor out of his musings. He placed the candle he had brought to light their way on the ground beside him and then turned once again to regard the weakened Doctor.

The Time Lord fidgeted but didn't reply.

"What's the matter?" Mark continued; "Cat got your tongue?"

The Doctor glanced sideways. "That's not a very well known 19th century saying is it?"

Mark laughed coldly. "Oh? I wouldn't know much about this century though, would I?" He smirked. "Perhaps I should have said, Cat Nun got your tongue?"

The Doctor froze. He swallowed hard, his hearts sinking. How did this horrible man apparently know so much about him? Mark gave him a little push forward and the Time Lord gasped in pain. Every step was an effort and the strain of concentrating on the other man's words was almost too much to bear but the Doctor had to know the truth. Mark Peterson was a mystery to him and he had to find out who this man was. Before it was too late.

He chose to try ignorance for once.

"What exactly is a 'cut nun''" The Doctor asked, innocently, his soulful eyes wide with feigned interest. "And why wouldn't you know about 19th Century sayings, Mark?" His face grew sterner when the human didn't reply. "Tell me."

Mark chuckled and shook his head, amused. He then abruptly shoved the other man harshly to the floor,forcing the Doctor down with a startled cry. The Time Lord raised his head slowly and looked up at the leering man. He could not raise himself up off the floor; he was just to weak and in too much pain. He could only lay there, red in the face, waiting for Mark to pull him back to his feet.

Mark knelt down beside the Doctor, yanking on his own trousers as he bent at the knee, his smile growing wider. He leaned right in to the Doctor and whispered in the Time Lord's ear.

"Because I'm new to this backward century, Doctor. And I've been fortunate enough to meet a Cat Nun. Just as you have. I'm not from this dirty place or this awful time." He took out a hanker chief and dabbed at his mouth, as if he found something distasteful. "Didn't you work that one out for yourself?"

"Of course," The Doctor replied. "Your manner, confidence and whole behaviour gave you away the first time I met you."

Mark raised an eyebrow. "Oh, really?"

The Doctor nodded. "'''Fraid so. Far too arrogantly knowledgeable. Especially as you foolishly tried to pass yourself off as a manservant. Not very clever of you." Marks eyes were flashing but the Doctor took no notice. "So," he continued. "Are you going to tell me where you're from?"

"The future, Doctor." Mark answered simply. "Like you."

The Doctor smiled. "Ah. But I'm not from the future or the past, Mark. I'm not from any time, I don't even have a home. Thought you'd have known that, seeing as you've _read_ so much about me."

Mark heard the sudden fight in the Doctor's tone and he glowered.

"Oh yes. No home planet." He grinned. "Well, no one for you to blame for that is there?" The Doctor shook slightly and Mark pressed on. "You did destroy your own world to end the last great Time War, correct? Have I got my history teachings right? What was your planet called again? Gallifrey wasn't it?"

The Doctor flinched. He recovered quickly however and fixed his opponent with a cold glare.

"A friendly word of warning, Mark. Don't you ever talk about my planet again."

Mark's eyes sparkled and his smile spread across his face. "Oh dear. Struck a nerve, did I?" He held up a hand in mock defence. "And was that an order, by the way?"

The Doctor reached out and grabbed Mark's raised forearm. His grip was painful.

"You know nothing about me or my past, whatever you might think. You mention Gallifrey to me again and you will regret it. You get the one warning" He quickly released the other man but his gaze was unwavering. "Are we clear?"

Mark's smile had faded. The Doctor kept staring and Mark, for the first time, saw the true power behind the Time Lord's dark eyes. And he didn't like it. The Time Lord was lying on the floor, battered and beaten and yet he was the one delivering threats. Just who did he think he was? Clearly, he hadn't been humiliated enough just yet. Mark could see to that. With a sigh, he stood up straight again but there was a dangerous glint to his eyes now. The Doctor was wary as Mark gestured down the corridor towards the Doctor's room, still about 15 feet away from them.

"Enough," Mark snapped. "Move."

The Doctor gaped up at him and then glanced down the corridor. He stayed put but managed an uncomfortable twitch.

Mark stood there, patiently waiting for the Doctor to respond.

"I said, move," he repeated. "Now."

The Doctor was incredulous. "I can't," he replied.

Mark pursed his lips together. "Why not?"

The Doctor gave the man an icy glare. "Because I can't even stand unaided or didn't you notice?" His tone was belittling. "I thought you would be more intelligent, being as you are from the future and all."

Mark clenched his fists. He was clearly fuming but the Doctor didn't care. He was very irritated now and when he was annoyed, he never took the hint that silence was the better option.

"As it turns out," he continued pleasantly; "I've met more intelligent vegetation then you. Still, that was on the planet Merka and the Merkans are known for breeding especially intelligent pond life." He paused, eying Mark with disdain, "And, to be fair to humanity, I suppose you are the best example of a brainless ape that I've met in a long while so I shouldn't be too shocked."

Mark, hearing enough, kicked the Doctor full in the face, knocking him back down.

The Doctor dragged himself back up to his knees, spitting blood out of his mouth. He smiled.

"What's wrong?" The Doctor asked, with a slight sneer. "Couldn't you think of a good comeback?" He sighed sadly. "That's a surprise."

Mark raised his fist and the Doctor closed his eyes, ready for the blow. Mark paused, trying to control his breathing.

"You think you're so clever, don't you?"

The Doctor grinned. "Yep!"

Mark nodded. "Well then, prove it."

The Doctor blinked. "How exactly?"

"Get to your cell by yourself."

The Doctor gazed at Mark in confusion, then down the long corridor to his room and then back at the furious human.

"What?" He asked, softly.

"You heard me," came the frost reply.

"I can't," the Doctor said quietly.

"Sorry," Mark said, his head placed on one side. "Didn't catch that."

"I can't walk without your help." Shame coursed through the Doctor.

It was Mark's turn to grin. "Whoever said you had to walk? If you can't stand up, I guess you will just have to crawl, won't you?"

The Doctor was again struck by the cruelness of this human. Of all of these humans. He had cheeked Mark and now the man expected the Doctor to crawl along the ground?

"You are an insult to your species," the Doctor told him.

Mark shrugged. "If you say so. At least I'm not the only one left, hey?" He made a mock-sympathetic noise. "Must be very lonely out there in space, all on your own. Now, get moving, poor little Time Lord."

"No."

"Excuse me?"

"I said, no."

Mark swore impatiently and then kicked the Doctor twice more in the guts, winding him. As the Doctor tried to recover, Mark grabbed a handful of his hair and pulled the Time Lord's head up.

"You will do as I say or I will tell the Professor how you were most uncooperative." He released his grip and the Doctor fell forward again. "So, unless you want more punishment, I suggest you stop talking and get crawling." He punched the Doctor in the face on more time for good measure. "Now."

The Doctor flushed in shame but knew he had little choice but to obey. He couldn't take more pain at that moment. He'd suffered enough that day.

A little humiliation was preferable to the alternative.

His body shaking involuntarily, the Doctor began to drag his protesting body across the floor, one painful movement at a time. He kept his head down, not wanting Mark to see his embarrassment at his surrender.

Mark struck the Doctor on his back, causing the Doctor to hiss in pain. "Come on, Time Lord. Faster!"

The Doctor ignored the bully, his eyes locked on his target. His cell door was open and the cold, damp room seemed very inviting at that moment.

"Oh, how the mighty have fallen." Mark purred. "How I would love for _him_ to see this!"

The Doctor looked up at those words and Mark laughed when he saw the tears in the Time Lord's eyes. The Doctor cringed away in humiliation, his hearts sinking. This was just too much.

"Why are you doing this?"

Mark smiled. "Would it be of any comfort to you if I said this wasn't anything personal?"

The Doctor shook his head. "Not really, no."

The human was amused. "Like I said Doctor, all of this is a means to an end. You turning up here is just a very happy coincidence." He shrugged. "A happy one for me, anyway."

The Time Lord grimaced. "I'm very pleased for you."

Mark beamed. "It will all become clear soon enough, Doctor."

Not soon enough, the Doctor reasoned as he strained to continue with his painful task. Whoever Mark had been referring to, the Time Lord couldn't face seeking any more information there and then. Although the human preferred to answer questions with riddles, Mark hadn't actually attempted to hide anything from the Doctor. The Time Lord was sure he would know everything soon enough. Whatever there was to learn, the Doctor knew that Mark Peterson gave him the creeps. Perhaps he even found the man more dangerous than Saunders and considering Eros was lying in wait inside that particular human, that was saying something.

"No one will believe this back home," Mark suddenly exclaimed proudly, breaking the silence. "I wish I could take a photograph to prove it." The Doctor glared up at him. How he despised this nasty, spiteful man.

Suddenly, Mark jumped. "Of course!" He felt into his pockets and pulled out a fob watch. He held it up. "Smile, Doctor!" He held the watch up, pressed the catch and, instead of opening up, the watch made a whirring sound and then a click. After a second, Mark beamed. "Perfect Doctor, a lovely little memento. I thank you!"

"What is going on?"

Mark swore, hurriedly stuffing the watch back in his pocket and quickly turned to find Johnson standing at the top of the corridor, glaring at him.

"The Professor told me to take the specimen back to his room. I am following his orders."

Dick looked past Mark, down at the Doctor now cowering at his feet. The pain from his battered limbs was agonising now and he couldn't move another muscle. Something twitched on Johnson's face. He fixed his gaze back on Peterson.

"I'll finish off for you here. The Professor is asking for you."

Mark glared. "This will only take a few minutes more," he began but Dick raised a warning hand.

"You should have completed this task long ago. Now the Professor has another for you. Are you leaving or do you wish to keep the master waiting?"

Mark looked as if he was going to continuing arguing but then changed his mind. With a nod, he picked up his candle and walked quickly back down the corridor, inclining his head to Dick as he passed him.

"I'll send Saunders to check on the Doctor in a few minutes, shall I?"

Dick's face darkened. "There really is no need to trouble Saunders."

Mark smirked. "Oh, I do not think he will see it as any trouble, Richard." He glanced back at the unmoving Doctor. "And I really think that there is a need. See you soon, my friend."

With one last chuckle, Mark turned on his heel and walked off into the darkness, leaving both the Doctor and Dick to stare after him, each with the same dislike.

"Not the kindest of men," the Doctor mumbled, still kneeling on the ground at Dick's feet. "I wish I knew what I'd done to upset him." He looked up and fixed Johnson with a knowing stare. "At least that I would know of a reason for this to be happening to me."

Dick swallowed hard. He leaned forward, offering a hand to the Doctor, helped the exhausted alien to his feet. He placed a supportive arm around the Time Lord and began to assist him to his cell.

"I'm sorry," Dick whispered. It was obvious he had no clue what else he should say so he decided to keep silent. The Doctor appreciated the quiet: it gave him a chance to think.

After a lot of effort, and pain on the Doctor's part, the two men entered the room and the Doctor slumped down against the wall, his head lolling forward. All he wanted was sleep. He felt the robe being pulled off of his body and he whimpered in distress. He needed the one article of clothing he had been allowed to wear. Without it, he would freeze. Quickly, he felt himself being draped in the robe as it was laid over him. He was warmer now. He sighed contently and could feel blessed sleep coming upon him. His body was crying out for rest and the Doctor was more than happy to oblige.

When he did finally open his weary eyes again, he saw that Dick was still standing over him but was now grasping a glass of water. He held the drink out and the Doctor gladly accepted it, tipping the glorious liquid down his throat. He hadn't even realised how thirsty he had been. As soon as he had drunk the water, he knew it was the sweetest drink he had ever tasted.

He smiled at the hovering Johnson.

"Thank you," the Doctor mumbled. "Very kind of you."

"Its just water," Dick mouthed, his head lowered.

The Doctor frowned. "It was an act of generosity. Something that's alien to me in this place."

Dick coughed. He was uncomfortable to be alone with the Time Lord.

"I'd save you this suffering if I could," he said absently. "He's my employer. I have to think of my family, my two small children-"

"I know," the Doctor interrupted. "I really do understand." He smiled. "Your family would be proud of you."

Dick stared. "Proud? They would be horrified."

"You are trying to protect them."

"By hurting you."

"You are helping me."

Dick looked away, ashamed. He had helped bring the Doctor to that hateful mansion. He was as much to blame as the others. He hated himself.

"I'm sorry," he muttered. "I must leave you now."

"Would you do something for me?" The Doctor asked quickly.

Dick eyed the door nervously. "Doctor, you should not ask."

"Please," the Doctor pleaded. "Mark took something of mine when he brought me to this room. I just need you to get it back for me."

"I cannot. Do not ask this of me."

"Please," the Doctor tried again. "It looks like a small tool. Please Dick, tell me you'll try. That is all. You are my only hope."

"No."

"Dick-"

"Do not ask me again!" Dick stated clearly. "I will not risk my position! I cannot help you!"

The Doctor stared dejectedly down at the ground.

Dick covered his face with his hands. He felt terrible.

"I am sorry."

He began to walk towards the open door. When the Doctor spoke again, Dick could barely hear him, his words were so timid and soft.

"Would you stay with me?" Dick paused, his hand on the door handle. The Doctor continued, his voice shaking from emotion and torment. "Please, Johnson? Just until I fall asleep?" His voice cracked as he added: "It hurts."

Dick turned and gazed at the Doctor. He could feel the tears threatening to escape again and he forced them back, annoyed with himself.

This man was a hero. Dick could sense it. And now, he had been reduced to this, too afraid to be left in the dark on his own.

Dick's shame burned.

"I'll stay," he said quietly. "But you must try to sleep."

He crouched down beside the Doctor and took his hand, wanting the Doctor to feel his presence. The Time Lord squeezed his hand immediately and closed his eyes again. After a few more minutes, the Doctor had drifted off. Dick did not move his hand.

It was to be another half an hour before Dick was certain the Doctor was asleep and finally allowed himself to leave the Doctor's side. The room was lighter now, dawn was breaking. Dick glanced back at the Doctor as he exited the room. He looked so peaceful now. Dick knew sadly that that was not to last.

"I am so sorry, my friend," Dick whispered to the sleeping man. "I wish I could save you."

TBC


	22. Chapter 22

**Sorry for the loooong delay, everyone. I've been on holiday in Vegas and LA and didn't have much time for writing. So, here's the next update for you. I should have the next one up some time next week too, to make up for making to wait so long this time! No warnings for this one, theres actually some comfort! I know, shock! I hope you enjoy it! Please remember to review. I want to thank anyone who has put me or my story on alert. If you could comment too, that would be great. I'd really like to know what you all think!**

**Thanks to these very lovely people for reviewing. You guys are the best! -**

TimeLadyofthePings - Yep, the Doctor is still there, still fighting. Even he knows he can't take this sort of treatment for much longer though. Help might be on the way soon though! ;) More from Johnson and Mark next chapter - big chapters for them! Hope you enjoy this one, let me know!

Time Lady 802379 - Jackson to the rescue? Could be! And not to much longer now either! Um, I pronounce Eros - Air-os. So yep, you're right! Enjoy! (BTW, update from you again soon? Pwetty please? Throw in a banana split?? Bet you can't say no to icecream AND bananas!

rar saryn - It has all been a bit doom and gloom recently hasn't it? Sorry about that. Bit of comfort in this one! Enjoy!

Ewen - Thanks, glad you liked it. More Jackson/Doctor this chapter and it was sweet to write so enjoy! Mark gets even worse next chapter. He's a right git but fun to write at the same time! Please comment again!

stlouisphile - Thanks for the review! Glad you like the story so far. This is a nicer chapter for the Doctor, so comfort for him at last. More hints about who Mark is next time. For now though, hope you like this chapter and please comment again.

As always, thanks to Heather and Suzie for their help and guidence! Love you guys!

**Okay, moving on then -**

**A Christmas to Remember**

**Chapter 22**

Rosita was sitting, staring straight ahead, her eyes locked on the wall in front of her. She had not even attempted to sleep. How could she, after everything that had transpired that night? Most of the things, she knew only too well, that she could have helped to prevent? Jed had sat up with her for some time before he had surrendered to his tiredness and he had retired to bed. Rosita sighed. He had been so kind, as had his whole family, but she knew what she needed. She needed Jackson and Freddie. She needed her family. She closed her eyes tightly as the grief once again built up inside, threatening to overpower her.

She would not break down. She had to stay strong. Her willpower was all she had left.

She glanced at the small clock on the table before her. Just after four. The sun was coming up, Rosita realised, with some relief. Surely the new day would bring her some comfort? She would go and see Jackson again, against Jed's advice and appeal to him. She was certain she could get through to her friend, make him understand. As soon as it was a more holy hour, she would try just one last time.

She had to.

A sudden, very loud knocking on the front door forced Rosita out of her musings. She jumped in surprise and rose slowly from her seat, her hands gripping the arm rests in concern. Who could it be? Who would visit Emily and Pat so early? Considering everything that had occurred over the last couple of days, Rosita would take no chances. Keeping an eye on the door leading to the families' bedrooms, she crept carefully across the room, pausing to take out a poker from the fireplace. Raising the impromptu weapon high above her head, Rosita moved cautiously to the door.

She gasped, startled by another loud rapping on the door.

"Rosita!" She turned quickly to find Jed standing across the room having been awoken by the banging, Pat and Emily a few feet behind him. "What is going on?"

"Someone is knocking!" She hissed back.

Jed tutted and strode in front of her. "I heard that! It woke the whole house." He grabbed the handle. "Why don't we let whoever it is in from the snow, huh?"

"Wait," she began, wanting to warn him that it may not be safe to do so but too late. He threw open the door.

Much to Jed's shock, Jackson and Frederick were stood before him on the threshold, both of them trembling from the cold. Rosita covered her hand with her mouth. She couldn't believe her eyes.

"Jackson!" She breathed. "And little Freddie! Are you alright?"

She moved to embrace the boy but Jed cut across her, obstructing her. She glared at him, frustrated. Jed glared stonily at Jackson, his arms crossed across his chest in an intimidating manner.

"What do you want?" He spat.

Jackson cleared his throat. "I need your help, Jed. And Rosita's." He clasped his hands together. "And of course, your forgiveness."

Rosita could feel hope rising within her. She reached out her hand towards Jackson and he went to grasp hers in relief but both their hands were knocked away by Jed.

"Is that all you think it will take to gain our trust again, Mister Lake?" Jackson frowned, his head lowered. Jed continued, his face growing redder by the second. "You threw Rosita out of her home, shut us both out in the cold and now you come crawling back here hoping for our help?" He leaned in so that the two men were nose to nose, his eyes flashing in anger. "Who do you think you are exactly?"

Jackson pulled his son closer to him, grasping his shoulder for support. "I am truly sorry for the way I behaved, Jed. There is no excuse for it and I can hope for no forgiveness, I know this." His voice raised slightly in his despair. "I do not expect anything from either of you but it is not for my sake that I come here now."

His pleading gaze met Rosita's and she felt her heart sink with pity for the man she still loved. She placed a hand on Jed's arm, hoping to calm him down. She understood Jed's anger for Jackson but she couldn't share it. Not after everything Jackson had done for her. And she knew how good this man was inside. And after all, she belonged at his side.

Jed, however, could only feel hatred. And she couldn't blame him.

"Whose sake did you come here for then, Lake? Mine? Rosita's? I suggest you get the boy back home, if you care for him at all. All I see before me is a man who thinks only for himself. Go home and leave us in peace."

He began to close the door on Jackson and his son before Rosita had a chance to stop him. Two words from Jackson however made Jed pause.

"The Doctor!"

Jed hesitated. "What?"

"He needs our help. Please, help me save him."

Jed and Rosita exchanged glances.

"I thought you'd given up on him." Rosita replied softly.

Jackson looked at her and Rosita saw the guilt and despair on the man's face. She understood then, no matter how much Jed wanted Jackson to suffer, he could never punish Jackson Lake as much as the man was punishing himself.

"I did give up," Jackson responded softly. "I was a coward, preferring to run away then face what had happened. But the Doctor is still here, in this very town and he is suffering greatly Rosita. If we don't help him and quickly, we will all lose him forever."

"What changed?" Jed asked bluntly. "Why help him now? You were happy to leave him to rot."

"I know nothing of any Doctors." A soft voice behind Jed suddenly spoke up, making everyone jump. "And I do not know what started this quarrel but I do know that I will not leave this poor child on my door step a moment longer." Emily marched forward and took the shivering Freddie by the hand and led him inside. She glared at Jed as she passed him. "The little mite was very nearly frozen to the spot, brother." She glanced towards Jackson; "As is his father I see. I will get the boy out of these wet clothes and make him a nice hot bath and pray he does not catch his death. I suggest you aid this gentlemen who has clearly made a great effort to come here and get over your own ridiculous pride. Do I make myself clear?"

He nodded in agreement and stared down at the ground.

"Good," she muttered and then swept by her brother and husband, making for the bathroom.

Emily and Pat's home was a very small but quaint abode with only four rooms in total on the same floor. Two bedrooms, one bathroom and the kitchen which also served as a living area. They were simple people with not much money to their name but they lived well enough and were happy. And that was certainly the main thing.

Jackson found himself feeling quite envious as he watched her go off with his son. She was a good woman and the first one there to show any sense. She knew her own mind. Jackson knew Freddie would be in safe hands.

"Marvellous woman," he whispered.

"I know," Jed replied quickly. "She's my sister."

"Then you would do well to listen to her," Pat told him, with a frown. "And remember that you are all guests in this house. I wish you all a good night, for what is left of it." And with that, he too strode from the room.

"Fine relatives you have, Jed," Jackson said softly. "They speak a lot of sense."

"Come in," Jed muttered but refused to look at Jackson.

Lake smiled in gratitude and quickly stepped into the cozy room and placed himself in front of the fire, warming his hands.

"You should never have brought the boy here," muttered Jed. "Far to cold for him."

Jackson flushed. "What choice did I have? I could not leave him at home alone. And there was no time to be lost."

"Did the Doctor contact you, Sir?" Rosita asked.

"No," Jackson replied, taking hold of her hand and bringing it close to his chest. "No, my dear. I dreamed of him."

Jed barked with laughter. "All of this, because you had a dream? And we're supposed to believe that?" He smirked at Rosita hoping she would be sharing his amusement but instead she was watching her old friend intently, her face serious. Jed huffed. "Well, it will take a bit more than a dream to convince _me_, any road."

"The Doctor and Jackson have always shared some kind of connection, Jed," Rosita offered. "Like a link to each other's souls. I don't know how and I do not understand it but it was there, they both spoke of it to me. I believe it is very possible the two of them may have shared a dream."

Jed shrugged. "Very well then. And what did this dream tell you then, Mister Lake? His whereabouts perhaps? Who is holding him or why?"

Jackson lowered his eyes from Jed's accusing glare.

"Nothing like that," he whispered and Jed burst out laughing again. This time, it was Jackson's turn to glare before he continued. "They were torturing him. He was in agony. And he was terrified."

Silence fell upon the room. Jed stopped laughing abruptly and placed his hands in his trouser pockets. Rosita was consumed by a mixture of hatred for the men who took the Doctor and guilt at her own stupidity in allowing it to happen. Jackson could only stare at the ground, lost in his own grief and the painful recollections of the horrifying images still inside his head. He couldn't forget them.

Jed was the first to speak. "How can we help him if we do not know where he is?"

Jackson sighed. "I do not know, Jed. I hoped you two would have some ideas. Put our heads together and come up with something."

Jed frowned. "They could be holding him anywhere, in any house in any part of town!"

Jackson pursed his lips together. "I am aware of that, Jed."

"If you had allowed us to follow that coach when he was first taken, maybe we could have got him back! Saved him all this suffering."

For the first time, Jackson turned on Jed. He grabbed at the younger man and pushed him back against a wall.

"You think I do not know that!" He yelled. "You think I do not hate myself more with every passing second for letting him down so badly. You do not think I would happily swap places with him now to save him all that pain and torture? I love him, Jed!" Jackson released the boy and moved away slowly, trying to catch his breath. Jed watched him, finally beginning to feel some pity for the man he once looked up too. "I love him," Jackson replied quietly. "And I miss him." He buried his face in his hands, not wanting the younger man to see him cry.

"Jackson," Rosita whispered, placing a comforting hand on his back. "It's not your fault."

He glanced up at her. "It is," he sobbed.

She shook her head. "It is mine. You were right to blame me. I could have helped the Doctor, I could have told you of his plans to leave but I did not and because of that, he was taken by those villains."

"You couldn't have known," Jed said, softly. "Neither of you knew."

"It was wrong of me to hurt you because of how bad I was feeling, Rosita." Jackson told her. "I care for you greatly, as does Freddie and we both want you home with us." He gently stroked her face. "I know I ask to much but could you ever consider returning and putting this whole sorry affair behind you? Please?"

Before she had a chance to even take in his words, before the thrill of happiness could even burst out of her, Rosita was aware that something was wrong. Just as Jackson uttered the word, "Please," he froze. He was looking at her but could not see her.

"Jackson?" she asked, urgently. "Can you hear me?"

Jed too was concerned. "Mister Lake? Wake up!"

Rosita let go of Jackson and then let out a small cry as he fell limply to the ground. He seemed to be trapped in place, no longer moving.

Rosita called out again desperately but she already knew it was hopeless. Jackson was no longer in the same room with them. He was far away.

She covered her mouth, her eyes on Jed. He looked shell shocked.

"_Jed, do something_!"

XXX

Jackson's eyes snapped open. He was standing in a tiny dark room. He frowned and wrapped his arms around himself. It was cold and damp. How did he get there? And where was he? He felt nervous, uncomfortable and confused. Was he dreaming? Hadn't he just been stood with Rosita and Jed, in Jed's family's home? Safe and warm?

So how exactly had he just travelled faster than the speed of light to such a frightening and lonely place?

He trembled fearfully and rubbed his hands together, trying to heat them. When this failed, he turned carefully to his right and found that he facing a large, locked door. The sick feeling in his gut was growing quickly. Was this a cell? Was he somebody's prisoner?

What was happening? He would have known the answers to these questions once, when he had been one with the Doctor. Now? He knew nothing. And he was scared.

That's when his eyes, growing accustomed to the blackness, saw the figure lying only mere feet away from him. The body moved slightly, turning onto their side and eliciting a small moan. Jackson took a tiny step closer, concerned for the poor state of the human being before him.

"Hello?" he whispered. "Can I help?"

The figure didn't speak.

Jackson tried again. "Can you hear me?"

Again, no reply. Jackson shook his head, confused and then turned back round towards the door, reaching out as if the door would magically fly open when he touched it. After all, some magic spell must have transported him. How else was he supposed to explain it?

When the word was spoken, it was whispered so quietly that Jackson nearly missed it.

"Jackson?"

Lake froze. He knew that voice. His heart leaped at the sound of it. He whirled round and stared down at the man now sitting propped up against the wall. The man's large, soulful brown eyes were gazing at Jackson as if they were staring at a ghost.

"Is that you, Jackson?"

Jackson felt a sob of happiness building up in his throat and he forced it back down. He must not cry now. He had to stay strong, for the Doctor. Because something had hit Jackson, some kind of realisation, and he knew he did not have a lot of time. Every word was precious.

"Doctor?" He took one wary step forward, frightened that this wonderful vision before him may vanish if he wasn't careful. "My sweet Lord? Doctor? How are you here, with me?"

The Doctor smiled. Seeing that warmed Jackson's heart. "I think you're the one who's not really here, my friend."

Jackson didn't bother to ask the Doctor to explain his riddle. He wasted no more time before scooping the Time Lord up into his arms and embracing him fiercely. The Doctor returned the hug, holding on tightly, his head lowered and pressed against the humans shoulder. They pulled away after a few wonderful moments and then stood, watching each other closely, Jackson's eyes widening as he was now near enough to see the extent of the Doctor's injuries. He reached out and touched the Time Lord's bruised face and the Doctor recoiled, not able to look Jackson in the eye. Jackson didn't have to see the Doctor to know how much agony he was in. He could_ feel_ it. The pain and the fear. The Doctor was terrified. Jackson was furious.

"Who did this to you?" The human said quietly, unable to hide the hatred in his tone.

The Doctor sighed. "I know so little about them. That's what's so annoying about this whole thing."

"Give me a name, Doctor." Jackson urged.

The Doctor raised an eyebrow. "You're giving me orders too now, Jackson?" He ran a weary hand through his hair. "That keeps on happening just lately."

"Tell me something that can help me find you then!" Jackson exclaimed. "Where are we?"

The Doctor shook his head. "I don't know. I was in that coach for about half an hour so I assume we travelled a few miles out of town. It's a mansion, they keep me locked in this cell," he paused, a small smile of resignation on his lips. He sighed before adding, "When they take a break from torturing me anyway."

Jackson took a moment to digest those words before replying. "I saw what they did to you."

The Doctor frowned, his eyes quickly darting to the door. "Did you?" He was distracted, tugging on his robe. "They'll be here again soon, we don't have long. They are experimenting on me, Jackson. It hurts," he swallowed hard, clearly embarrassed to show such weakness. "I don't know how long I can stand it."

Jackson gritted his teeth. How he would like to see these bastards suffer!

"I dreamed of you. I was with you, Doctor. All that pain and suffering." Jackson placed a hand on the Doctor's arm. "You were not alone."

The Doctor nodded and looked down, unable to hold Jackson's gaze. He moved, so Jackson's hand fell away.

Jackson could not stand the defeat he sensed in the Doctor. He balled his hands into fists.

"Those inhumane monsters!" he snapped, his eyes flashing dangerously. "They will pay."

The Doctor flinched and looked up quickly. "They aren't all inhuman," he said, softly.

Jackson did not agree with that statement. He chose to ignore it.

"Doctor, I believe I am dreaming again, right now. I think _you_ are in my dream! And you say we do not have much longer so tell me something useful." He grasped the Time Lord's hand. "Please."

The Doctor nodded. "Our bond is stronger than I even expected. This is something like a dream state, you're right. Only, this is really happening. I was asleep and thinking of you. You heard me calling you, tried to respond subconsciously and WHAM!" He sped up happily. "Here we are! You and I are both actually here, actually together. It's brilliant!" His excitement faded as quickly as it had arrived. "And no, it's not going to last. I can already feel the connection fading;" His eyes bored into Jacksons once again. "Can't you?"

Jackson realised, to his dismay, that the Doctor was correct. He could feel himself being pulled away from that room, from the Doctor. He tried to fight it, to stay where he was. He didn't want to leave! He didn't want to wake up.

The Doctor could see Jackson was slipping and he grabbed his friend desperately by the arms and held him close.

"Listen to me, Jackson. You're going back now. You will remember this whole conversation perfectly, do you understand me?" He touched Jackson's head lightly with both hands and closed his eyes. "Your mind will want you to block this conversation out, it's incomprehensible for your brain to accept that this could happen. _You have to remember_! Every word, Jackson. Don't forget!"

Jackson tried to focus but he couldn't. The Doctor was fading away, his words harder to hear. Lake concentrated hard on his loved one, desperate to take in his last words.

"I need you to listen, Jackson!" The Doctor called. "Remember two words especially. Hear me! Find me, Jackson. You will recall this name. Professor Waters. Remember the name, Jackson!" the Doctor shouted. "They're coming back for me. You have to go now. Repeat the name for me. Say it now. Hurry!"

Jackson could hardly think straight. His head was banging, the room was spinning.

"Professor Waters."

The Doctor nodded, his eyes watering. He reached out with his hand. Jackson did the same but it was no use, they were too far apart.

"I'll find you, Doctor!" Jackson called out, desperately.

Two words revolved around his head as he felt his mind rushing back to join again with his body, the connection to the Doctor finally lost. He had to remember. He couldn't let the Doctor down.

_Professor Waters, Professor Waters, Professor Waters._

XXX

"Jackson, are you alright? Can you stand?"

Jackson was crumpled in a heap on the floor; his head in his hands, his eyes squeezed shut.

"Oh Rosita!" Jackson whimpered, tears rolling down his face. "The Doctor is trapped, Rosita; all alone in the dark. He is so cold, in so much pain." He reached out for her and she responded, taking his hand. "We must help him!"

Rosita didn't know what to say or do. She tightened her hold on his hand, hoping that this would offer some comfort him. "Jackson, what are you saying to us? Please, calm down."

Lake moaned, ignoring her words, still wrapped up in his own thoughts and ever growing worry for the Doctor's terrible condition. "I must find him!"

"What did you see, Sir?" Rosita urged, her hand now grasping Jackson's wrist. To make sense of his words, she had to attempt to soothe him somehow. "Just tell us what happened?"

"I saw _him_, Rosita!" Jackson shot back breathlessly, trying and failing to get to his feet, still weak from he and the Doctor's telepathic bond. "I went to him. I spoke to him! I held him!"

"Where is he?" Jed demanded, taking hold of Jackson and dragging the older man up to his knees, even giving him a small shake, much to Rosita's disapproval. "Do you know where he is?"

"Jed, be careful." Rosita warned, "you can see he's upset."

Her friend swung round, glaring. "And your patience and caring proved so much more successful didn't it, Rosita?" He waved an angry finger in her face. "My sister and her family are upset and confused. I need some answers!"

"Please," Jackson said, a hand raised to ward off their argument. "My friends, please do not fight. I can hardly think straight, my head hurts."

Jed couldn't stop himself. He chuckled.

"Friends?" He whispered. "Yes, of course. _Now_ we're friends."

He moved away from Jackson, his disgust written all over his face. He stood, quietly seething, refusing to even look at Rosita.

"I'm sorry," Jackson breathed and closed his eyes, desperately searching through the encounter he and the Doctor had just shared. He knew the answers were lost inside of him somewhere, he just had to find them. When he finally reopened his eyes and met the gazes of all the other people in the room, he felt nothing but defeat.

"He did not tell me where he was or who was holding him." Jackson wrung his hands uselessly. "He did not tell me and I was stupid enough not to push him harder for the information." He gestured towards Jed. "You were right, my boy. I am pathetic. The Doctor is trapped somewhere, imprisoned by the cruelest of men imaginable. He is frightened and alone and I have left him to his fate!" His eyes met those of a visibly upset Rosita. "I have failed him again."

"Oh no," Jed snapped, stepping forward before Rosita even had a chance to reply. "You will not give up so easily again, Sir. I will not allow you to, not when we are so close."

He crossed the room again in two strides and placed a supportive hand on Jackson's shoulder. "You can do this, Jackson." Lake glanced up, surprised but heartened by Jed's change in attitude. The young man was speaking the truth. He should not have overreacted but the fear that he had sensed within the Doctor, the hopelessness and shame, it had been for him to bear on his own. "I'm sorry," Jackson whispered. "What must you think of me?

"It's alright, Mister Lake." Jed replied, softly. "Now, try to think back over your conversation with the Doctor. Did he tell you anything, any tiny thing that can be of help to us?"

Jackson was very nearly at the end of his tether. He had been so close to the Doctor, it had seemed that he could have reached out and touched him. Now, they were more apart than ever. What good was he? The Doctor should not have fought to make the connection. Jackson was able to help him, he was simply not strong enough. He was proving it now, apparently unable to remember a conversation that had happened moments before!

He rubbed a despairing hand across his face. "Nothing," he whimpered. "There is nothing." He glanced at Rosita, who was watching him with dismay. "All I can feel is his fear, Rosita," he whispered. "He is so very scared."

Jed tutted. "That is not helping, Mister Lake!" He tried again. There had to be something there, in Jackson's mind, that could assist them and the Doctor. They just had to find and unlock it. "Can you describe where the Doctor was? Were you in a room?"

Jackson thought hard. His eyes grew large with sorrow. "He was in a tiny room. It was cold and damp. I was freezing, inside my very soul. The Doctor was leaning against the wall and his feet were touching the other wall on the far side, such was the littleness of this cell. He was locked in. There was no window, no brightness, no hope." He glanced up. "It is a hellish place they are keeping him in, for sure."

"Good, Sir," Jed encouraged. "Anything else?"

Jackson stared down at the ground. "There is not a thing, Jed. There was no furniture in this cell, not a chair or a table. Nothing to recognise." he sighed. "He is waiting there, waiting for them to come and take him."

Rosita felt sick. "Take him for what, Sir?"

Jackson shook his head, not able to find the words to answer her. He remembered the pain he could sense deep within the Doctor as the Time Lord had told him; "They'll be here soon, we don't have long. They are experimenting on me, Jackson. It hurts. I don't know how long I can stand it."

Jed knelt down beside Jackson. It was worth one more try before he admitted defeat.

"Jackson, I do not know the Doctor as well as you yourself do, or Miss Rosita here, but from what I do know, he would not have wasted the small time he shared with you. Now, there must be some other point you have missed. Something small that may be the key to a way out of this. A place, a person, a name. Please, just think one more time. Do it for us," he jerked his head towards the door, "or, if not for us, do it for him."

Lake clenched his fists, determined to search back through his conversation with the Doctor, he would not let him, nor Jed or Rosita down again. He closed his eyes tightly.

His two young friends waited, not daring to hold their breaths. Rosita reached out and grabbed Jed's hand and he flinched at the movement. Their eyes met just for a second before a sudden reaction from Jackson reverted their attention away from each other and back to him.

"That's it!" Jackson declared, punching the air in triumph. "Thank you, Jed!"

"What have you remembered?" Rosita asked hurriedly.

"The Doctor mentioned it, just once." Jackson answered her excitedly. "Told me to remember and my mind still blocked it out. He said it would."

"What name, Mister Lake?" Jed demanded impatiently.

Jackson turned to him, his eyes wide with expectation. Suddenly, things seemed brighter. Maybe there was still hope.

"Professor Waters."

XXX


	23. Chapter 23

**Sorry for the long wait everybody! I'm finally back! Hope you all enjoy and please review! Next chapter will be up very soon, promise!** **Only warnings this time - mentions of past noncon.**

**Acelticdream: I never thought I'd slash the Doctor with anyone but then Jackson came along. They have the most amazing chemistry and, for me, Jackson is the only man who understands the Doctor. Thats why I created the whole telepathic blond thing... I'm glad you like the story and I really appreciate you reading it despite not like m/m, that means a lot. I really hope you review again and enjoy this update. I won't take so long to update again!**

**Ewen: It was a nicer chapter, I could give the Doctor some comfort. Not much of that in this chapter though.. Sorry I took so long with this update, been on a bit of a mini hiatus but it won't happen again!**

**Rara saryn: I love thinking that Ten and Jackson have a connection and yep, thats gonna be important again!**

**Time Lady 802379: I am sooo sorry I kept you waiting and it meant a lot that you pmed me so thanks again for that! Are you still getting that replica Ten coat, it is def worth £250. I'm having problems writing Ten getting hurt at the mo, after everything RTD put him through! Let me know what you think of this chapter, next one will be up in next few days!**

**TimeLadyofthePings: Thanks for another review, sorry I've taken so long. Hope you like this chapter.**

**Okay, on we go!**

**A Christmas to Remember**

**Chapter 23**

The Doctor opened his eyes and stared around his small room. His mind flashed back to his encounter with Jackson. The human had felt so close and now, realisation hit the Doctor hard. He was alone once again and Jackson was far away, he could not get close to him. It had been good to talk to the human, to have had comfort from him, even if it had only been in his head. He sighed. Would he ever get the chance to see Jackson again, only next time, for real? He wished he could touch Jackson, hold him.

The Doctor gave himself a little shake. These feelings were new for him and even now, he didn't understand them or really know why Jackson made him feel so different. All he knew was that at that moment, he wanted Jackson near him, he wanted to hold the human tightly and not let go. He somehow knew that if Jackson could get close to him again, then he would be safe. But, that was not going to happen. The Doctor was more alone than ever. He wrapped his arms around himself, trying to stay warm. And, for a lovely brief moment, he closed his eyes and imagined that Jackson was there with him, holding him in his arms. Just for a second, the Doctor could pretend that he was loved and protected, not sitting alone in the dark on that cold and hard floor.

With a weary moan, the Time Lord flicked open his eyes and glanced toward the door, knowing his peace would very soon be shattered. He had sensed the men during his encounter with Jackson, he knew they were coming. And he knew that could only mean yet more pain and suffering. He closed his eyes again, trying to prepare himself. One way or another, he hoped this torture would not last for too much longer.

The Professor will have to cut me up eventually.

The Doctor smiled..

He flinched as he heard a noise outside his prison and scrambled backwards when he heard the key turn in the lock and the door begin to creak slowly open. The Doctor instinctively moved further away from the door and he tensed, ready for more pain. His panic only grew when the smirking face of Saunders appeared behind the door. Saunders' glee increased when he saw the Time Lord's fear.

"Hello, Doctor." The cruel man said, with a nasty chuckle. "Did you have a good rest?"

"Not long enough," the Doctor murmured. "Maybe you can give me a couple more hours?"

Saunders smiled. "Good to know you are not beaten yet, Doctor."

The Doctor frowned. "I'd hate to ruin your fun, Benjamin."

Saunders shook his head, deeply amused. After a brief pause, he grabbed the Doctor roughly by his robe and dragged the Time Lord to his feet. The Doctor shoved out at Saunders, refusing to take the rough treatment a moment longer. Saunders, stunned by this sudden surge of fight from his victim, was knocked off balance and the Doctor saw his chance, the flash of hope he had been praying for, and he surged for the door, not even bothering to look back.

"Oh, Doctor." The disapproving tone coupled with the immature giggle that followed it made him pause and the Doctor turned back slowly, already sensing the change in his enemy.

Sure enough, Eros was beaming happily at him, his golden eyes shining with pride.

"Benjamin is quite correct, Doctor." Eros whispered. "It's nice to see you still have some fight in you."

"Always," the Doctor retorted. "That's why neither you nor Saunders will ever get what you want."

Eros raised an eyebrow. "Saunders wants you broken and bloodied and on your knees, Time Lord.. He wants you groveling before him, pleading for mercy. Only then will he be satisfied by your suffering." He took a step forward. "What is it that I want from you though, Doctor? Please enlighten me."

The Doctor hesitated before replying, his eyes locked on the golden glow. "You want me."

Eros smiled. "Yes I do," he agreed. "But you have no idea what that truly means."

The Doctor frowned. Every instinct was telling him to run, not to stand there like an idiot when he actually had an opportunity to get away, to at least make a break for it. But his curiosity, as ever, was getting the better of him and he needed to know what this was truly for. Why had he been tormented this way? Just what did Eros want from him?

And even if the alien came clean, could he actually trust him? This was the same alien that had wanted the Doctor dead on it's home planet. He could never forget that.

"Are you going to tell me?" He said, finally.

Eros nodded. "I am offering you the chance to join with me."

The Doctor smirked. "And I've heard enough," he snapped and turned away.

Eros raised a hand.

"I want you to become one with me, Time Lord. You need never be lonely again. Doesn't that sound wonderful to a creature such as you?"

"No."

"Why?"

The Doctor sighed.."We've been through this already, Eros. I don't want anything to do with you or your lame offer of peace." His gaze met the golden glow in Saunders' eyes, leaning forward to emphasise every word. "You'll have to kill me first before I give in to you."

Eros frowned, clearly trying to hold his anger in check. "Why do you hate me?"

The Doctor laughed. Just what was this alien trying to pull? Was this some ridiculous effort to win the Time Lord's trust? Surely Eros was not that deluded?

"You tried to kill me." He replied softly. "You let Saunders rape me."

"I know," came the quiet reply. "I regret your pain."

Just run! That little voice inside his head was getting louder. This is a trick. The others will be in that corridor any moment and you are ruining your one chance to escape! Move, you idiot!

Instead, he replied; "You regret my pain? You regret how that body you are hiding inside pinned me to the floor and brutalised me? You feel bad about that, Eros?"

Eros stepped closer and the Doctor recoiled away. The Midnight alien held up a weary hand. "Please, Lord of Time. Forgive me for what these humans have put you through."

"Don't blame them!"

"They are human so they're freed of the blame of what they have done to you," Eros stated, his eyes wider then ever. "And yet you look at me with such hatred, such venom. The true Time Lord rises within you and I want to burn myself in that fire. Why will you not allow yourself to feel again, Doctor."

"No." The Doctor stubbornly replied. "Never."

"Join with me!"

"And become your slave?"

Eros froze. He regarded the Doctor for a moment and then a small smile appeared on Saunders' lips.

"Is that what you believe?" He asked. "That I would control you?"

"Well, you control Saunders don't you?"

"Yes, that is true but it would be different for you."

The Doctor was incredulous. "Oh, of course it would! Do you think me a fool?"

"No!" Eros moved closer and this time, the Doctor didn't back away. He was watching, waiting, that old curiosity creeping through him once again.

"You are a God, my Lord." Eros hissed. "Just like me."

The Doctor snorted but didn't speak.

Eros continued. "We would share one body, one soul but we would be together at all times. You would never be trapped, Doctor. You and I would be one entity and the things we could do! The good we could cause to so many planets, so many people.. That is what I am offering you, Time Lord."

Eros was now standing directly in front of the Doctor, a hand on his shoulder. The Doctor could feel tears threatening to spill. If he was honest, the words Eros was saying, they suddenly didn't sound so bad. To be a part of something important again, to feel another being's emotions, to share the universe with one that would never leave him – oh, the Doctor wanted that badly. And Eros knew that.

"You're inside my head," The Doctor whispered.

"Always," Eros replied. "I am already with you, my friend. Give yourself to me entirely and you and I, we will be free of these men and this despicable place." He removed his hand from the Doctor's shoulder and offered it to the Time Lord instead, a gently urging smile on his lips.

"Come with me."

The Doctor stared at the hand before him, unsure what he should do or what he wanted. It would be so easy to take Eros' offer, to share his burdens with the alien life in front of him. He would never have to worry about Saunders, Peters or the Professor again. Just take the hand and it would all go away. Forever.

The Doctor hesitated.

"What is going on here?"

The booming voice from the doorway startled the Doctor and made him leap away from Saunders in confusion. His head suddenly felt very empty and he knew the reason at once. As he once more looked at Saunders, he knew Eros had once again retreated into his human container, leaving the Doctor alone with a very angry Benjamin, and ever hostile Mark.

"I asked you what was happening," Mark snapped. "The Professor is waiting."

"I – I." Saunders stammered, "I don't remember."

"I wonder why that could be," the Doctor muttered. He glared dismissively at Saunders. "If only you had a brain cell Benjamin: imagine how dangerous you would be then."

Saunders stood for a second, glancing from Mark to the Doctor, uncertain by the situation he had found himself in. His head ached and everything seemed hazy, he could not recall a thing that had happened since the Doctor had pushed him. His eyes met the Doctor's and he suddenly jumped forward, forcing the Time Lord back against the wall.

"You did something to me!" Saunders barked. "You did it with your alien powers!"

Mark smirked. "Powers?" He repeated softly. "I think the Professor would like to experience those powers. Shall we join him?" He jerked his head towards the long passageway behind him but Saunders ignored him, all of his attention and fear now trained on his victim.

"What did you do?" He spat. "Played with my mind?"

The Doctor smiled.. "What mind?"

Saunders' grip tightened around the Doctor's throat and the Time Lord choked, clawing at his hands.

"I'll kill you!"

"Think, Benjamin." The Doctor hissed, fighting for breath against the hold on his neck. "This keeps on happening, these blackouts. You are being _controlled _by him, Saunders."

"LIAR!" Saunders shouted into the Doctors face. "You'll never hurt me again!"

Mark, having seen enough and suddenly concerned for the well being of his Professor's prize, grabbed at Saunder's arm.

"Stop!" He shoved Saunders backwards, forcing him away from the Doctor. Benjamin stared at Mark, his eyes full of hate. With a hiss of fury, Saunders ran at Mark, fists raised and the other man rolled his eyes with disdain. Just as Benjamin bore down on him, Mark struck the hated man across the face, trying to knock some sense into him. The Doctor was stunned to see Benjamin fall like a stone to the floor from the force of the blow. The Doctor glanced at Mark, sizing the human up once again. He certainly didn't seem tough enough to better a desperate Saunders in a fight but the Doctor knew only to well, impressions could be deceiving.

Mark took hold of the Doctor's arm in a bruising grip, seeing the intensity of the Time Lord's stare and smiled fondly at him.

Mark pushed the Doctor back towards the wall, releasing his grip. Noting that the Time Lord was still to weak from Saunders' attack on him to even attempt fleeing again, he stepped forward to stand over the whimpering and very defeated Saunders.

"Get up," Mark snapped, his tone belittling. "We have to go now, we are late. The Professor will be angry enough with you already, Mr. Saunders."

Benjamin groaned as he began to drag himself to his feet, touching his bruised cheek tenderly and refusing to look at the Doctor or Mark, clearly embarrassed.

"Time for your next session." He murmured to him. "The Professor has many fun times planned for you."

The Doctor swallowed hard but didn't lower his gaze.

"Who are you?" He asked quietly.

Mark chuckled softly, but didn't respond as he grabbed the Doctor by his arm once again, and began to pull him out of the tiny room, into the dark corridor, Saunders stumbling along behind them.

The Doctor closed his eyes. Another opportunity to escape – wasted. Soon, all the opportunities would be gone. He did not want to die with these men. He had no choice now, he had to rely on the people who cared about him. He had to believe that they would come for him, that they cared enough to try. Before it was too late.

_Jackson, help me._

TBC


	24. Chapter 24

**Well, there you go! This is to make up for the really long wait before the previous chapter. Only warnings for this one - some violence, mentions of rape and yet more Doctor!Whumpage. I know, I'm just horrible. But Ten does get to fight back this time too, there's even an appearence by the Time Lord Victorious! Hope you enjoy!**

**Time Lady 802379: I'll join you in those therapy sessions, methinks! End of Time was the most heartbreaking piece of television I have ever seen. It hurt to watch it! Ten will never die though, oh no! Yep, I'm back and I'm staying this time. And see this update? Was this soon enough? ;) I'm expecting a quick chapter from you too! And how quickly can you review this chapter?? Hope you like it!**

**Ewen: Thank you, I'm so sorry I kept you guys waiting so long! Saunders is horrible but is still fun to write, as is Eros. Its interesting writing two bad guys so differently! I just hope it works for the reader too! Jackson/Ten is the cutest. They'll be a lot more comfort to come in the upcoming chapters, promise! Thank you for reading and reviewing!**

**Timeladyoftheprings: Thank you! Glad to be back :) Happy new year to you too. ****Oh yeah, I saw End of Time. I'm still recovering. It broke me completely and I found it very hard to write Ten!Whump for a while afterwards! I did hear about Rex is not your lawyer and I really hope it gets picked up! I've heard David's Amercian accent is pretty good, apparently Hugh Laurie esq! I'm looking forward to Matt Smith too but I think I'll always miss Ten. He was my Doctor, you know! ****Glad you liked the chapter and that it was worth the wait. More clues on who Mark is next time! Can't wait to read what you make of this chapter!**

**acelticdream: Thanks! And thank you for reviewing so quickly! The Doctor will never give in, don't worry. Even though, it's about get even worse for him...**

**Guys, thank you so much for reviewing so quickly! You really are the best! Can't wait to find out what you think of this chapter, please let me know! Also, big shout out to anyone who has the story on their alert list - Thank you! I hope you are enjoying the story! As always - lots of love and hugs to my betas!**

**I will try to update again by the weekend. No promises this time though!**

**Okay, onwards!**

**A Christmas to Remember**

**Chapter 24**

He could hear voices. The Doctor moaned softly as he awoke, slowly regaining his senses. It took him a moment to discover that he was lying flat on his back on a cold surface, his head throbbing and he was once again restrained. Another beat and he was suddenly very aware that he was naked and somebody was running a rough hand up his chest. The Doctor opened his eyes slowly and quickly closed them again. The light was too bright. Where was the light coming from? Where was he? The last thing he remembered was that he was being dragged down that dark corridor by Mark. Had someone hit him?

"Open your eyes again." A soft voice urged. "You have nothing to be frightened of."

The Doctor knew that voice. He realised, to his dismay that it belonged to Professor Waters. He chose to ignore the instruction. Whatever they believed, he was _not_ their servant.

Suddenly, a sharp pain exploded in his mid section and he realised someone had struck him hard on his chest, possibly with a metal pipe. The Doctor cried out from the shock and sudden pain, fighting to control the panic that was threatening to consume him. He was strapped down and helpless once more and that sharp pain was only the beginning, he knew that for certain.

"You will do as you are told." A loud voice shouted in his ear, causing his headache to worsen. "The Professor gives you orders, you _will_ obey him, is that clear? You _will _learn your place."

The Doctor let out a sigh and gazed up into Mark's sneering face, squinting into the light. He decided it was best not to reply. The human stood, obviously waiting for some smart response and when it wasn't forthcoming, he nodded satisfactorily.

"Good boy;" Mark taunted and the Doctor's face burned with shame. Would there ever be an end to the humiliation?

"Why is it so bright?" The Doctor whispered. "This room has no windows. What is that light?"

Waters was perplexed. "The creature is delirious," he announced. "This must be noted. We will begin."

"Wait," The Doctor snapped. "Answer me! How is there a light shining in my eyes? What have you done?"

"Be silent," Mark hissed. Saunders leaned back against the wall, a cruel smirk on his lips.

"Doctor," Dick said softly. He could almost feel the Doctor's heightening panic and it made his heart ache. The least he could do was respond to his desperation. "It's just candlelight, the same as the last session."

"Enough!!!" the Professor boomed, leaning over the Doctor, but addressing Mark and Dick. "This is curious but unimportant for the moment. The creature sees what we do not. It is an alien, there is much we must learn and I am in haste to continue." He glared up at Mark. "There is no need for further violence, Peterson. I needed him awake to record his reactions and unless I'm mistaken, awake he is. Do not strike him again unless I instruct you too." He frowned. "Now, _back away_."

Mark's eyes flamed for a second and the Doctor shivered to see them. Then, Mark gave Waters an obedient bow and moved away. The Professor nodded curtly to him and then turned his full attention once more to the Doctor.

"Dick, where are you?" The Doctor muttered. He couldn't see the young man and a friendly face was something the Time Lord needed in that moment.

The Professor glanced at him, obviously surprised by the question but he didn't reply.

"Please?" The Doctor tried again.

"I'm here," Dick replied, slipping out of the shadows and into the Time Lord's line of vision. At the sight of him, the Doctor visibly relaxed. Even the brightness had faded slightly and he could see clearly once again. Mark chortled to see the Doctor's relief and made to taunt the Doctor more but Dick pushed ahead of him, blocking the cruel man from the alien. "You will not be harmed this time, Doctor." He clutched at the Time Lord's hand. "I promise."

The Doctor frowned. "You can't help me, Dick." He blinked hard. "And you shouldn't make empty promises, trust me." He looked at the Professor and cringed when he saw the syringe in the man's hand. "It's not fair on me because you can't keep those promises, no matter how much you wish you could. It's okay, really. Just stay with me, please."

Dick swallowed hard. The Doctor closed his eyes. He released his grrip on Dick's hand and instead managed to ball both of them into fists, preparing himself for the agony he knew was coming.

Dick had to look away as the syringe was forced into the Doctor's arm and Waters once again emptied the poisonous cocktail into the Time Lord's bloodstream. It took no time for the seizures to take hold of the Doctor and rip him apart from the inside. The Doctor's eyes snapped open and Dick saw the terror there. Then, to Dick's horror, the Time Lord began to scream.

Dick, sickened, stared around the room, gazing from one man to the next. The Professor's eyes were twinkling and he seemed excited, writing notes as if in a frenzy and smiling knowingly, as blood began to trickle down from the Doctor's eyes and mouth. Saunders was edging closer, fascinated by what he was seeing and Mark was obviously enjoying the torment that the Doctor was experiencing. In fact, to Dick's disgust, Mark actually seemed aroused by the Doctor's torture. Dick shook his head, horror struck. Just what kind of people were these? The most human man in the room apart from himself was the suffering alien on the table!

At last, the cries from the Doctor quietened and the agonising fits grew gentler until, finally, he lay still once more.

The Professor placed a hand on the Doctor's arm.

"How interesting," Waters muttered. "He had an even more violent reaction to the latest mixture but his pulse remains strong." He caught himself. "Both of them." He smiled down at the Doctor. "What would it take to put your life at risk, I wonder?" He leaned down. "Just what would it take to make you fear for your life?"

He seemed thoughtful for a moment and then quickly passed his notebook to Mark. He then, to Dick's dismay, clambered atop of the Doctor and straddled him. The Doctor gasped in pain and fear, wondering what the crazed human's intentions were. Waters smiled appreciatively when he saw the terror in those soulful eyes. He then carefully placed his hands around the Time Lord's throat and began to squeeze.

The Doctor's eyes widened in panic and he quickly began to wheeze. He was trapped, unable to defend himself or to try to stop Waters from attempting to kill him. All he could do was lay there as the human did his utmost to choke his tenth life out of him.

Waters tightened his grip still and leaned in. He was so close to his victim's face now, the Doctor could smell his foul breath.

"Why will you not stop me, alien?" The Professor hissed. "We both know you can do it. Are you not afraid of me?" He grinned evilly. "You should be. I will kill you."

Dick, who had been struck dumb and frozen on the spot by the Professors sudden attack, suddenly came back to his senses.

"Leave him alone!"

He went to grab for his one time master and teacher, to wrestle the bastard off of the poor Doctor if necessary, but he was grappled from behind by Mark. Dick fought back, but was held firm by the older and larger man.

"Wait," Mark breathed in his ear.. "Just wait and see. This is part of the experiment! Just watch!"

The Doctor's vision was growing blurry and he could no longer hear the men's voices clearly. They suddenly sounded so far away. He was going to die, right there on that table, naked and pathetic, at the hands of an insane Professor.

There was nothing he could do to save himself.

"_STOP ME_!" The Professor shouted. "Come on, creature. You alien monster! _Show _me!" His lips grazed the Doctor's ear. "Or perhaps it would be a good idea for you to watch Dick suffer instead?" He chuckled cruelly.

At those words, a sudden blast of power flooded through the Doctor; he couldn't prevent it or control it. Suddenly, it exploded out of him and the stunned Professor was picked up by the force and thrown across the room. In the next second, the restraints pinning the Doctor down fell away and the furious Time Lord was freed. He sat up quickly, his crazed eyes boring into Mark's who had rather stupidly flung himself forward to grab the Doctor's arms in a crazed effort to hold him down. When he looked into those huge, terrifying eyes, he knew he'd made a big mistake. The Doctor smiled coldly at Mark and the other man actually flinched.

"Get away from me." The Time Lord's words were spoken with so much command; Mark found himself and his body obeying without hesitation. He backed up against a wall and then slipped down to his knees, his gaze still locked upon the Doctor.

Dick and Mark could only watch in silent awe as the Doctor cheerfully swung his long legs over the table and he jumped down onto the floor. The power was radiating off of him, the humans couldn't bring themselves to look away from him, but certainly could not bring themselves to attempt to stop him. The Doctor strode across the room, pausing only to reach down and pick up his robe, which was lying in a heap on the ground beside the crouching Mark. Hurriedly throwing his only clothing around himself, the Doctor glanced at Mark as he passed and mouthed one word- "Sleep." Mark fell to the ground without a word, sleeping soundlessly at the Doctor's feet.

The Doctor smirked, making up his mind to return later to concentrate on Mark. He was an enigma to the Doctor, and the Time Lord needed to know who the man was and what he wanted. It would be fun to find out. At that moment though, he had bigger fish to fry first. Turning slightly, he saw the broken body of the Professor, unmoving and slumped on the floor. Purposely, the Doctor strode over to him. He knelt down beside him and gently turned him over. He took a hold of Waters' chin and forced the human to look up at him. Waters opened his eyes and let out a tiny squeal. He recoiled in horror when he saw those blazing eyes staring down at him.

"You wanted me to show you, Professor," the Doctor whispered, "You wanted to know what I was capable of. You couldn't ever imagine what or who I am." He strengthened his hold and Waters moaned and tried to pull away. "Tell me, Waters," the Doctor continued, "did you see enough?"

"Stop!" Waters groaned weakly, and the Doctor felt a thrill flow through him. Now, _he_ was the one in control.

"Do you know what I could do to you?" The Doctor continued, actually enjoying the panic he was causing. The hated human at his feet was actually crying! After everything he had put the Doctor through, this is what Waters deserved. No. He deserved so much more. He _deserved _to die and the Doctor could do it. No one would stop him, no one would blame him. This man had tortured him, humiliated him. Death was a fair punishment.

The Doctor stroked the human's face. It seemed so easy. He knew he could do it. He could burn the Professors mind out, and it would hurt like Hell itself. And he would enjoy it. In fact, right then, there was only one man the Doctor wanted to kill more than this one, grovelling at his feet.

_Just one._

The Doctor heard a whimper and he stopped. He turned slowly and regarded the snivelling form of Benjamin Saunders, peering at him from around the room's door. Saunders grimaced when he saw that he had been spotted. With a cry of, "Don't you come near me;" he tried to make a run for it. He didn't get very far, only managed two steps from the room before he too was sent crashing to the floor, his limbs held in place by the unseen power. He couldn't even blink. He struggled but it was useless. He was a prisoner. And he was going to die. Like the Professor surely had done by now. He was terrified and began to uncontrollably sob.

The Doctor, his face blank, walked confidently towards the open door, his eyes flicking to the sleeping beauty on the ground. This would not take long. Destroying a stupid ape like Saunders, he could do it with a mere _thought_. And then, he had work to do. He needed to know who Mark was, and he would go to any lengths to find out. Mark was certainly not supposed to be in 19th century London and the Doctor was the last Time Lord. It was his duty to discover the truth, it was who he was. Time belonged to him. He would learn everything from the smart ass human soon enough, he could connect with him and the man would not be able to lie to him again. Not if he knew what was good for him.

"Doctor, please wait."

The Doctor paused at those words, looked over his shoulder and saw a very frightened Dick clinging to a wall for support, trembling.

The Doctor smiled. "You should go now, Dick," the Time Lord replied. "I'll clear this up."

"You cannot murder these men, Doctor."

The Doctor raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"Because it's wrong and you know it. You are a good man. I sensed that in you from the beginning."

The Doctor frowned, hesitating. He wanted to do it. He wanted it over. "That man tortured me," he said slowly, gesturing toward the Professor. He then glanced at Mark. "He humiliated me and," he jerked his head towards the corridor, "that ape raped me. Repeatedly." Dick could see that the Doctor was trying to convince himself as well as him. "So tell me why I shouldn't make them pay?"

"Because you're not a murderer," Dick replied quietly, taking a nervous step toward the unstoppable alien. "You're not like them, Doctor. You need to calm down, you need to stop this."

The Doctor laughed and shook his head. "I've never let the power control me like this before. The other Time Lords, they knew power, they could control the lesser races, turn them into slaves. I wasn't like that. I fought against it but look, I gave in, in the end. And guess what?" He raised his arms. "Power feels good."

"No," Dick snapped. "This is not you."

A very cold smile spread across the Doctor's lips.

"You don't know me, Dick." He turned his back on the young man he had come to call his friend. "Right now, I don't know myself."

"Doctor!" Dick yelled, knowing he was on the verge of losing the Time Lord for good. "Please do not do this!"

"Stay here, Dick." The Doctor threw to him as he walked away, calmly and objectively. Dick quickly learned that he couldn't move, that the Doctor had made him immobile. He couldn't even speak. He knew the Doctor was so far gone; nothing he could have said would have halted him. He was going to kill Saunders and Dick knew, only too well, that everything the Doctor was would also die with Saunders. And all he could do was stand there and let it happen.

The Doctor stepped out into the corridor and he regarded the man now standing tall before him almost with boredom. The Time Lord shrugged and then rose himself up to his full height. Saunders smiled and walked forward, his eyes glowing as golden as the sun.

"Eros," the Doctor stated.

"Yes, Doctor, it's me." Eros beamed and outstretched his arms, inviting the Doctor to him. "It is time. Once we join as one, I will give you Benjamin. He is of no more use to me anyway."

The Doctor said nothing, though he felt a shiver pass through him.

"Why do you wait?" Eros enquired, confused. "You have become all I knew you could be. This is why I pushed you so hard, Doctor. Come now, I am eager to be a part of you. I can feel your power and it is intoxicating!" He closed his eyes and breathed. "I feel _you_. All of you."

"Do you?" Came the sullen reply.

Eros opened his eyes and regarded the Doctor, now clearly puzzled and somewhat annoyed.

"Why be so cold, Doctor? You have given into the darkness, just as I knew you would. You belong with me now." He held out his hand. "Don't refuse my love this time, Time Lord. Join with me."

The Doctor stood perfectly still for a few moments, staring at Eros and his outstretched hand. Eros perhaps expected him to seriously consider the offer now, and he was surprised at how easily it was for him to know the route he wanted to take. Maybe he wasn't as far gone as he thought he was. No matter how lost in darkness he felt, no matter how much of the anger inside of him he allowed out, he was not beaten yet. He was still the Doctor and he would never give himself up to a creature like this.

Finally, he smiled happily at Eros. The alien grinned gladly back, obviously believing that it was at last successful. At last, the Doctor would be his.

"Come," he said again, softly and seductively. "Come to me."

"No."

Eros chuckled. "Do not humour me now, Doctor. I have waited too long. Take my hand."

The Doctor crossed his arms. "You need to listen to me, Eros. I'm clearly not making myself clear here. No means no. It meant no the first time you asked and it will always mean no. I will never join with you. I will die before I give myself to a freak like you. There is darkness inside of me, I know. It was there in all my people and it's something I have to live with and contain. You don't control me; you've won nothing!" He swaggered forward, growing in confidence with every word. "I suggest you give up and stay away from me or you will regret it." He leaned into Eros' face, almost as if he would kiss him. "Do you understand me now?"

Eros was shaking with barely contained fury. He blinked his golden eyes, trying to take in the Doctor's words, desperate to control his emotions and regain the upper hand.

"I will regret it?" Eros repeated, quietly.

"Yes."

"You threaten me."

The Doctor raised an eyebrow in amusement. "So. You _can_ listen."

"I warn you, Doctor. Do not do this."

"Really not used to hearing no, are you Eros?" The Doctor jerked his head. "Not that we can really call you that anymore can we? I mean, you're no more a God than I am, scary thought that is!" He ran a hand through his hair. "You are no more a God than that poor deluded man you are still contaminating right now."

Eros was beside himself. "_You_ wanted to kill this poor man! _HE_ raped you, brutalised you! You wanted to murder him in cold blood and rightly so!"

The Doctor nodded. "Yes, that's true. I let my hate take over. And I'm ashamed and very disappointed in myself. I'll have to deal with that guilt later. But it was you that made me wake up and realise who I am again. So yeah, thanks for that."

"You will change your resolve, Doctor."

"No, I won't and you know it. It's over Eros. You will never win."

Eros was quiet. He closed his eyes and breathed hard and when he opened them, he seemed to look straight into the Doctor, trying to understand him, know him.

And, perhaps, he finally did.

"You will never stop fighting me," Eros stated simply. "You will never give me a chance."

"No," the Doctor replied.

"And there is nothing I can do to alter this path you have chosen?"

"Nothing," the Doctor said firmly.

Eros let out a big sigh. "Then, I am sorry."

The Doctor said nothing; he just stood waiting for Eros to make the next move. He was strong now, in control. He would fight the alien – to the death if he had too.

Suddenly, the golden glow inside Saunders' eyes shone larger and brighter than ever before, lighting up the whole corridor and the Doctor was engulfed by the brightness. He closed his eyes, fearing he may go blind. And then, the waves and waves of agony hit him like a brick, again and again. His eyes shot open and he began to scream, his hands clutched and crawling at his head. Every second of pain and torment, every feeling of fear or panic that he had ever experienced over the whole of his ten lives were coming back to haunt him in that one moment.

Over and over, it hit him. Pain long forgotten, terrors pushed so far into the bleak darkness of his mind that he hardly even remembered them. Now, he was reliving them repeatedly. And recent agonies were there too. He heard the Daleks and the Cybermen's battle cries, he heard Rose screaming as she fell toward the void, he saw the Master die in his arms. The Dalek's death ray hit him as he tried to leap clear. Davros forcing him to relive every death of those that had sacrificed themselves for him. It was unending, the torture. Every breath was agony; every movement felt like it would cause the end of his life. He was vaguely aware that he was lying on the ground, still screaming, tears streaming down his face.

"Please!" He heard himself cry, though that voice did not sound like him. He didn't care anymore. He wanted to die. He couldn't take this. Not every terror he had ever faced. The emotional and physical agonies he had ever suffered were coming to attack him repeatedly, all at once and he couldn't bare it. "Kill me."

He could hear Eros laughing from somewhere, through the glowing light and the pain.

"Die?" To the Doctor, the alien seemed a long way away. "That would be too easy. You are the only creature to ever refuse me, Doctor. I worked so hard to earn your trust and faith and you humiliated and denied me. Good thing my light is already inside of you. That was the brightness you experienced earlier, when you awoke on that table. That was I, in your mind. You will not die now, arrogant Time Lord. Instead, you will pay."

As suddenly as it had come, the pain disappeared. The Doctor laid there in the after throes of the agony. He was still trembling, his hands still clamped to his ears, his eyes still screwed shut in terror. When the Doctor finally plucked up courage to open his eyes, he discovered he was lying on his back and Eros was staring down at him, a triumphant smile on his lips.

Eros knelt down and the Doctor recoiled, trying to look away. "Not as strong as you thought, eh Doctor?" The alien was whispering in his ear and the Doctor moaned with shame. It was all futile. There was no escape.

"Please," the Doctor whimpered again. "Just kill me."

Eros shook his head. "No, Doctor. I have decided your future. I will not kill you. I still want you with me. But now, you will experience a life of suffering and pain. I gave you an offer of pleasure and joy and you threw it back in my face. So now, my offer has gone and instead you will be my slave. Now and forever." He leaned in closer to the Doctor, fully taking back complete control. "Do you understand _me_?"

The Doctor glared up into those shining eyes, his own narrowing. He was no slave. He would not obey this monster; he would not give it the satisfaction...

Eros shrugged and instantly the pain was back. The Doctor curled up in a ball, once more screaming in pure agony as the torment returned with full force. He heard Eros repeat the question and he shouted out anything he could, desperate to stop the torture.

_"Yes! Anything you say! Please! Stop!"_

Finally, the agony subsided again. With a smirk, Eros leaned down and touched the Doctor's forehead lightly.

"And now, you agree. Too bad for you that you now see the truth. Sleep now, my little Time Lord."

Instantly, the Doctor collapsed, his eyes shut and his chest rising and falling gently. He was fast asleep.

Eros peered down at him with almost a loving expression. "I told you, Doctor. One way or another, you would be mine." He sighed. "Foolish Time Lord. How you will regret your choice."

The smug alien looked up sharply. He could hear raised voices. It was time to retreat inside his host once more. He would still need to find a new body very soon of course, now that the Doctor was unavailable. He would find someone and they would still have the connection that Eros craved. They would have unstoppable power and the whole of Time and Space open to them to use it, thanks to their pet Time Lord and his fantastic TARDIS.

He would look everywhere until he found someone with the drive and determination to be clever where the Doctor wasn't – and take him up on his offer!

Eros closed his eyes and returned to the safety of his home inside Benjamin, and as he returned full control to Saunders, he gave the unconscious Doctor one more glance.

He smiled contently.

Benjamin gave a gasp and covered his face with his hands. He looked around him, trying to regain his senses and recall where he was. Then he looked down. Of course! The Doctor! He'd gone mad. He'd attacked the Professor with those magic powers of his? Had he, Saunders, overpowered him? Saunders laughed. Of course he had! He gave the Doctor a spiteful kick. Even the powers of an all-powerful alien life form were no match for his toughness and fighting spirit! He stuck out his chest with pride when the Professor, Dick and Mark raced into the corridor.

"What happened?" The Professor demanded.

"Everything is under control, sir," Saunders replied happily. "I stopped him!"

Dick blinked. "How?"

Saunders smirked. "One good right hook and he was down at my feet, groveling. Two more clean punches and he was out cold. No troubles."

"Oh yes," Mark purred. "Right."

The Professor waved a hand. "Enough, all of you." He stared down at the Doctor. "What incredible abilities this man has. I must know more. It is time to continue the latest experiment." He turned to Mark. "Was everything prepared beforehand, Mark?"

"Yes Sir," he replied quickly. "Your orders were followed precisely. The servants are waiting for us, I'm sure."

"Run on ahead, Mark." Waters urged. "Check that we are ready to proceed and we will follow you shortly."

"Yes, Professor." Mark replied and hurried away.

"Is he going to be alright?" Dick asked, staring at the Doctor.

"Does it matter?" Saunders retorted. "Why are you so soft, Johnson?"

"Why are you such a bastard?" Dick threw back, stepping forward. "A no good rapist! You are scum, Sir!"

Benjamin's nostrils flared. He raised his fist. Dick didn't budge.

"Please, gentlemen." Waters warned, holding up a weary hand. "Stop this fighting!" He glanced at Dick and placed a calming hand on his shoulder. "You defend the alien so ferociously, Johnson. I find it fascinating."

Leaving the other two men to glare daggers at one another, Waters looked down. He smiled, knelt down beside the Doctor and then ran his hand gently through the Time Lord's hair.

"Time for another demonstration," he sneered. "Only this time, _I_ am in control."

TBC


	25. Chapter 25

**Hi all. Yep, late again. I'm sorry guys. I promise I will not make you wait this long again and I mean it this time. I would have had this posted two days ago if had let me but it wasn't uploading documents! Promise!!! No major warnings this time, only mention of past rape and some minor violence. It's gonna get very nasty again next time though - so get ready!**

**Ewen: Thanks :) And yep, fighting back does not improve things for Ten, as you'll find out in this chapter! And the next one is gonna be a really tough one for me to write...**

**rara saryn: No probs in missing chapter 23, I was just pleased to hear from you :) What did you think of EoT in the end? Only one month til series 5/Whatever now, starting to get really excited!!! Enjoy this chapter :)**

**acelticdream: Thanks for another review! And you'll find about more about Eros next time :) Hope you like this chapter.**

**TimeLadyofthePrings: I do have to be so careful with how far I let the Doctor go. I also think it would be so wrong to make him kill someone. He never would, after all! Ten will never die! I'm still in denial! *Sob***

**Time Lady 802379: *Peeps round the corner at you.* You hate me don't you? I've taken a very unreasonably long time here! If it helps, that was a very impressive quick review! I really hope this update wasn't so late cos I really don't have enough money to pay for your funeral! Hope this chapter made up for the whole making you wait thing!! And could I offer you a banana by way of an apology? Two bananas? You can't resist can you!!!**

**Thanks to Suzie for beta-ing this for me!**

**Please read and review people!! Reviews help me write faster! Honest! :)**

**A Christmas to Remember**

**Chapter 25**

Rosita was sitting, perched on the edge of her seat, watching a very frustrated Jackson Lake pacing up and down the small room. He had one eye permanently on the front door, the other at the little clock on the table. Jackson had hardly spoken to her at all for the last twenty minutes and any words he did say were spoken in anger or impatience. If there was one thing Rosita knew for sure, Jackson's pacing and irritation was not helping their situation one iota. If there was another, it was the realisation that he was making her very dizzy.

She cleared her throat and hoped to Heaven that she was not about to cause yet another argument.

"Jackson, please sit down." She offered, as kindly as she could manage.

Lake shook his head. "I would prefer to stand;" he replied frostily.

"Then could you try standing still?" She tried again. "Your pacing is making me nervous."

He laughed nastily. "Oh, my apologies Rosita. God forbid _you_ feeling uncomfortable. Forgive me, but I was not aware that you also suffered from the unpleasantness of seeing the one you love in horrendous agony." He turned away from her. He didn't want to her see the tears that were now threatening to spill. Rosita could only watch him, sympathy again flowing through her. She didn't know what to do to help her friend. She knew how tortured he was by what he had seen happening to the Doctor, she knew how wrecked he was that he couldn't help the man he adored. But she had to make him see that pacing, getting annoyed and hitting out at the others he cared about was not the answer.

"Jed will help us." She whispered. "He's not been gone long. Just be patient, Sir."

"Oh, where is he then?" Jackson threw back. "Rushing out into the snow at the mere mention of the name Waters, without even a bye-your-leave. He could at least tell us what his plans were. Just what does he think he is doing?"

She frowned. "He's out there, trying to help us! He is at least doing something!"

Jackson turned to look at her at those words, his eyes flashing with anger. "And you mean what exactly by that statement?"

Rosita swallowed. "Nothing."

"Oh yes you did," he shot back. "You meant that Jed is out there assisting the Doctor and making something happen while I am stuck in here, not able to do one single thing to help!"

"That is not what I meant, Jackson," she yelled, jumping to her feet.

"Of course it was," he retorted. "And you know what Rosita? You would be right. I am useless!"

She had heard enough. Rosita, fighting to control her own emotions, hurried to him then and placed her hands on his arms. "Sir, that is not true and you know it. You are the one the Doctor trusts. You're the one he connected to, who he has the bond with. You are not useless to him or to me. Believe me."

He was desperately trying to compose himself. He needed her support, wanted it but at that moment, all he could think about was the Doctor and his own inability to save his lover. And then there was the hatred boiling inside of him for the men that were tormenting the Doctor, maybe at that very second. Now was not the moment for weakness. He would not cry. He had to stay strong. And that meant not letting Rosita in. So, as gently as he could, he took a hold of her hands and firmly pushed her away.

"We are wasting time here, Rosita." He told her.

Rosita knew her comfort had just been refused and she didn't appreciate it. Why wouldn't the stubborn man accept her help? Couldn't he see that he needed a friend? She gave Jackson a frosty glare. "Right, well, what do you suggest we do then?"

Lake gestured angrily towards the door. "The Doctor gave me a name. We should be out now, searching for this Professor Waters." He rested his hands on his hips but could not relax. "We are sitting around and doing nothing and it is wrong!"

"Jed will be back soon -"

"WHEN!" Jackson exclaimed so loudly that he caused Rosita to jump in surprise. "Where is he?"

Rosita had had enough of his tantrums.

"Sir, sometimes you really do remind me of the Doctor!"

"Well, that's very kind of you to say," Jackson shot back.

Rosita frowned. "It wasn't meant to be a compliment."

"I'm aware of that," he replied. "But I took your attempted insult as one regardless." He threw his arms up in frustration. "This is madness, Rosita, this sitting around, just waiting! We can do nothing but depend on Jed. What if he lets us down?"

She pursed her lips together. "We have to trust him, Mr Lake. We have no reason to doubt him."

Jackson smiled coldly. "After everything we have seen the past few days, do you not find it difficult to trust anyone?"

"Not Jed," she replied softly.

He glanced at her. Oh, but of course. How had he missed the obvious signs?

"I see, Rosita." He told her, in almost a condescending tone. "I understand why you trust Jed, stand up for him so determinedly. But I do not have the reasons to believe in him like you have, do I?"

She had reached the end of her tether. "And what is that supposed to mean?"

Jackson sighed. "That you will support your lover over me."

Rosita slammed her hand down on the table beside her. "He is not my lover, Jackson!"

"Yes he is, my dear." He waved a hand. "Why be so shy? It's surely better for him to be you seen as your lover than your client, isn't it?"

She went red with shame and anger. He carried on, not caring about the pain his words were causing.

"Trust me, Rosita. Your private life is none of my concern. My only wish is to find the Doctor. And therefore finding this Professor Waters."

Rosita couldn't help it. She was so embarrassed, so taken aback by his bluntness and cruelty, she suddenly wanted to hurt him back.

"_Jed _knew of this Professor Waters. That's why he left this house." She stepped closer, her tone vindictive. "But maybe we don't need Jed, after all. Tell me, have you heard of Professor Waters, Mr Lake?"

"Maybe I have! Perhaps I know him intimately?" His eyes were blazing. "We are both very aware, Rosita, that I remember very little and you have no idea just how useless that makes me feel!" He wagged his finger in her face as his voice grew louder with his irritation. "I felt the Doctor's fear, his pain. I alone know how alone he is and how afraid he feels. That is my burden to bare! MINE!"

He stopped, seeing Rosita's anger subsiding, again being replaced by sympathy and her eyes suddenly becoming watery. He took a step back, surprised by not only his own outburst but his whole behavior those last few minutes.

"What has happened to me, Rosita?" He whimpered. She said nothing.

He covered his face with his hands as he retreated away from the concerned Rosita and sank back into an armchair, his shoulders shaking with grief and frustration.

"I apologise, Rosita. For the way I have spoken to you tonight, about Jed." He didn't look at his friend. "You must hate me."

She couldn't help but laugh and he glanced up at her in astonishment.

"Something is amusing?" He asked her softly.

"No, Sir," she responded hurriedly. "But do you really think that I hate you?"

"You must do," he replied in a small voice. "The way I treated you. Continue to treat you. It is cowardly and I despise my actions."

"And I know that you don't mean it," she told him, kneeling before him and placing her hands on his knees with comfort. "I know how hard this is for you, Jackson. And I know it's ripping you apart but you have to keep it together. If not for your own sake then for Freddie and the Doctor's. They need you to keep your head."

"He'll die, Rosita." Jackson hissed. "Those monsters will kill him and I can't help him."

"That will not happen," she stated, with conviction. "_Believe _me."

He reached out and took her hand, squeezing it gently. She smiled back warmly.

At that moment, the front door was flung open and a snow-covered Jed raced into the room, pulling a very timid young man along behind him. Jed came to an abrupt stop in front of Jackson and Rosita, giving the boy a push forward.

Jackson looked from one lad to the next and then grabbed Jed by his coat.

"Where have you been?" He fumed. "We were worried."

Jed pulled free of Jackson's grip and glared at him. "I'm sorry I took so long but Toby here lives a mile away. I ran the whole way. Toby, meet Jackson Lake and Rosita. Now, why don't you tell them what you told me?"

Toby looked aghast. He shook his head desperately and stared down at the floor, his sweaty hands grasping his hat for dear life. He was clearly terrified and didn't want to be there.

Jed frowned. "Don't be scared, Toby. These are good people. They won't hurt you."

Jackson groaned impatiently. "Jed, what good is this? Who is this young man? And why bring him here? The boy is obviously frozen with fear."

"Toby is a friend of mine. I knew I recognised the name the moment you said it, Mr Lake. Waters. Toby used to work for him and I remembered him telling me stories from his time there." Jed grabbed Toby's arm and hurled him forward again. "He's the only hope we have. He knows this Waters and where he lives. If he tells us, we can find the Doctor!"

"What is all this noise?" All four of the room's occupants jumped at the sound of the new voice. Jed's sister was stood in the hallway, Freddie in her arms. "Jackson," she continued, "your son was trying to sleep."

Jackson sighed regretfully and rushed over, taking his son from Helen and hugging him closely.

"Forgive me Freddie," he whispered. To Toby, he urged; "Please, my young man. If you know anything that can be of help to us in finding our friend and perhaps saving his life, you would have my eternal gratitude."

Toby flushed, unable to look at the gentlemen who addressed him. Rosita moved closer and put her arm gently around the boy. "Please," she said softly; "you have nothing to be afraid of here. We would never hurt you. I know your scared but you needn't be." She couldn't stop the tears forming in her eyes. "The Doctor is a hero, he saved all of us and now, he's being tortured. You can help us save him. Please Toby."

At the mention of torture, Toby quickly looked up at Rosita. She realised that all colour had drained from his face and he had gone from looking scared and nervous to downright terrified.

"S-someone's been t-tortured?" He stammered. "By t-the P-professor?"

Jackson gave Freddie back to Helen to look after and moved to stand beside Rosita, his hands outstretched as he beseeched Toby.

"Toby, the man I love is being tortured and perhaps even killed by this evil man. YOU know what he is capable of. I can see how scared you are." He placed his hands together in prayer. "Please Toby. Please help us find and help an innocent man. A wonderful man. I beg you to help me save him."

Toby hesitated for a moment, staring down at his feet. Finally, he looked up and gazed intently at Jackson. He cleared his throat. Jackson waited, with baited breath.

"I worked for Professor Waters for two years," Toby said quietly. "He lives at Princeton Halls, a large manor house about 30 minutes ride South from here, in the country. The Professor is a very rich man." He paused, to control his breathing, before continuing on. "He used to be a well respected Professor of medicine. He lost his job and the friendship and respect of his peers because of his," he hesitated again before finishing, "his experiments."

Jackson swallowed hard and Rosita swayed uncomfortably on the spot.

"Experiments?" She inquired. "What experiments, Toby?"

Toby looked at Jed and he nodded encouragingly. "Keep going, Toby. You're doing great."

He steadied himself before pressing on. "I don't know exactly what the Professor was doing, it was very secret and I was just a servant in the main house, but I knew it was bad. I would clean his laboratory sometimes and the room would be covered in blood." His eyes filled with the tears. "The man is a monster."

"Why did you leave?" Jackson asked.

"Another servant saw something," he replied; "something that terrified him. He told me I had to leave right away, that night. He said Waters was a devil and we would lose our souls if we stayed. I was already worried enough by that house and the strange goings on so I was happy to leave with him." He glanced at Jackson. "If Waters is hurting your friend, experimenting on him, you probably won't what to see the results, Sir."

Jackson shook his head, grabbing Toby's arm in a fierce grip. Toby cringed from the touch but Jackson was too swept along to care. He had to get the information he needed out of the boy, he had to find the Doctor.

"Toby, can you show me where this house is?" He urged.

"The boy gasped and pulled free of Jackson's hold. "No Sir," he told him, firmly. "I got away. I can't go back there. I won't."

Jackson rubbed an impatient hand through his hair. "If you don't," he stated grimly, "my friend will die."

Toby shook his head desperately. "If I go back there, I will die. They will kill me, torture me. Please, Sir!"

Jackson tightened his hold, not caring whether he hurt Toby and Rosita saw the boy's fear and desperation grow. Soon, he would be useless to them.

"Stop, Jackson." She snapped and Lake turned away dejectedly, his hand covering his face in despair.

Rosita moved forward, putting her arm around Toby, comforting him. "Please Toby. You have to help us. If you can't show us where that house is, would you tell us. Give us directions so we can save our friend for ourselves?"

Toby glanced at Jed. "He'll kill you all."

"Let us worry about that, Tobe." Jed told his friend. "And believe me, if the Professor has hurt the Doctor, he's the one who is going to be in danger."

Toby seemed to wait for a moment, considering. Jackson was nearly at the end of his tether but a glance from Rosita kept him silent. Finally, Toby spoke up.

"Alright," he whispered. "I'll tell you where the house is, the quickest way to get there is only a thirty minute ride."

Jackson leaped up. "I don't have a horse," he gasped. "What am I..."

"You can borrow ours." Helen said. "And I will look after Freddie."

Jackson gazed at her. "Thank you," he whispered. "Thank you so much."

He rushed towards the door. "Come Toby! Tell me!"

Toby held up a hand and pursed his lips together. "It's not far, Sir, but it is in the middle of no where. You need my help." He glared at Jackson. "So stop ordering me around and make sure you do exactly as I tell you. Got it?"

Jed couldn't help but smile. Rosita raised an eyebrow.

Jackson frowned but what could he say? He nodded obediently.

"Good," Toby said, now with a hint of smile. "Now, listen."

XXX

The Doctor was so cold, he thought he could actually freeze to death and regenerate there and then, in the snow. He was trudging through the trees, walking through the grounds of the Professors house, being supported carefully by Dick. The Professor and Saunders were marching on ahead, leading the way and Mark was bringing up the rear. Waters was discussing the Doctor with Saunders in loud tones, causing both the Time Lord and Dick to flinch.

"I checked him when he was asleep," the Professor was saying. "The recovery of his feet is quite astounding. He should have been unable to walk for weeks with an injury like that. Truly fascinating." The Professor looked over his shoulder. "Hurry up the pace, Richard. Or must we have a repeat of the recent violence?"

"Ignore them," Dick muttered to the Doctor. The Time Lord was only wearing his robe and Dick could feel how cold he was. He was trembling and the snow and ice must have been hurting his feet. The cruelness of the situation was just too much for Dick. He put his arm around the alien and pulled him close, hoping to pass some of his own body heat onto the Doctor, keeping him warm any way he could. The Doctor stumbled and Dick pulled him on. He had already fallen down once in the snow, leading to Mark's great pleasure in beating the Doctor with a stick until Dick had shoved him sideways to stop him. Dick had no intention of allowing something similar to happen again.

"We have to move faster, Doctor." Dick breathed. "They will hurt you otherwise."

"I'm sorry." the Doctor hissed to Dick, his teeth chattering. "I'm so sorry about what I did back there. When I lose control, I don't like what I become."

"Don't worry." Dick told him, through gritted teeth. "Doctor, it's not your fault."

He glanced at the Doctor. "It was very interesting to see a flash of the real Time Lord, Doctor. The real _you,_ as it were."

"That was _not _me."

"If you say so."

Dick growled in annoyance and pulled the Doctor on, moving him away from the sneering Mark. He clutched his friend to him, holding him tightly.

"I don't blame you, Doctor." Mark whispered. "You were right to fight back."

The Doctor sighed. "You don't understand, Dick. I could have committed murder and then I'd have been no better than those animals that have hurt, tormented and raped me." His voice broke and Dick grabbed at his hand, praying that the Time Lord kept it together. The bastards would love nothing more than to see him broken and Dick would not let that happen.

"I can't let it happen again, Dick." The Doctor whimpered. "I will not lose control again. I _can't_."

Dick looked on grimly. "You may just have to, Doctor." He muttered back. "You may have no choice."

They walked for only a few feet more when suddenly the Professor stopped ahead of them and raised a hand, bringing the group's journey to an end. They had arrived at a small wooden hut with a very large, wooden door. And standing around the hut were four slaves, each grasping a lit torch, flames flickering up to the sky from each one.

The Doctor's eyes widened. He had been afraid of fire, in other lives and it still bothered him now. Fire was definitely not something he enjoyed. Breathing heavily, he tried to back away and Dick held onto him, in a firm but not painful grip. Dick shushed in his ear and patted his back, trying to comfort the Doctor somehow. Secretly, Dick was very afraid by what the Professor had planned, especially as he had not been told.

Dick cleared his throat. "Professor, the Doctor is freezing," he stated. "He needs clothes."

The Professor ignored Dick completely, choosing to watch the Doctor closely instead, apparently delighting in the alien's obvious fears. "Here we have our next test." He announced, clapping his hands for silence. "Doctor," he stated; "Your power to move objects and men of course by the power of your mind is fascinating. I wish to see more of this but this time, I will be in control." The Professor rubbed his hands together in glee. He stepped back, away from the Doctor.

"Now then, go into the hut please."

Dick rolled his eyes in disgust. "Just what kind of a man are you?" He argued "You cannot put the Doctor in there."

Waters smiled calmly. "I don't intend to. I'm not addressing the Doctor, Dick."

Dick was confused. "Good," he answered, nervously. "Some common sense at last."

The Professor's smile widened.

"Assist Peterson into the hut and lock the door, please." He addressed his orders towards two servants and then watched contently as they rushed forward to follow his instructions. Dick stared at Waters in shock as he was gripped by the two men and pulled towards the small hut. "Wait..." he objected but no one answered him as he was dragged unceremoniously along the ground.

"What are you doing?" The Doctor snapped but he too was ignored. Soon, the slaves had forced Dick into the hut and had slammed the door shut behind him, locking it and hurriedly moving away. Mark and Saunders were smiling excitedly and they laughed when the sounds of Dick throwing himself against the wooden door were clearly heard.

"Let me out of here!" Dick was screaming. "Let me out right now!"

The slaves then stepped forward with the torches, the flames lighting up the darkness.

The Doctor took a step forward, only to be restrained by Mark and Benjamin. "D-don't," he stammered in disbelief. "Don't do this."

The Professor chuckled. "Begin the experiment," he stated and waved his hand.

"No!" The Doctor yelled, pulling for all he was worth against his captors, desperate to get free and help his friend. At their Master's command, the slaves obediently tossed the lit torches onto the wooden hut and within seconds, the building's roof was ablaze. The Doctor could only stare, horrified, as the flames quickly spread. Dick had a matter of minutes only before he would burn to death. How long he had before he would be consumed by the smoke, the Doctor couldn't tell.

Dick began to scream in horror and the Doctor's hearts ached. He wanted to comfort the man but what could he say? What could he do?

"Please!" Dick was yelling, "Please open the door, Professor! I beg you! My family..."

The Doctor glared at the Professor, completely not believing that the man could truly go this far.

"Do as he says," the Doctor demanded. "Open the door."

"No," the Professor purred. He moved to stand in front of the Doctor, his hands clasped behind his back, watching the building being wrecked by the flames. It was clear he was enjoying this sick scene. "You are not in charge here, Doctor. No orders from you."

"Waters, let him go!" The Doctor was beside himself. "Let him go now or I'll..."

"You'll what, alien?" Waters was loving the Doctor's panic. "I know how powerful you are, Doctor. Do as I say, use that power for me, for Dick. Save him!" He narrowed his eyes when the Doctor didn't respond. "Why do you wait?"

"Because I can't do as you ask!" The Doctor shouted, gesturing angrily. "You have to let him out now!"

"This is disappointing! Come on, give us a show!" Saunders jeered. "If you are so powerful, Doctor; why not get him out of there?"

Mark laughed. "You seem unsure, Doctor. And I thought Dick was your friend..." He shook his head sadly and the horrible men laughed together, revelling in the Doctor's despair.

"Please!" The Doctor pleaded with the Professor desperately. This could not happen. "Please don't do this!"

The Professor smiled nastily at the Doctor. He was wide eyed and the Doctor could see very clearly and frighteningly that the other man was completely insane. "You save him!" Waters cried passionately. "You want him alive? Then you save him!"

"I can't!" The Doctor shouted back, still being manhandled by Mark and Saunders. If he wasn't being held by the two men, the Doctor couldn't say for sure as to whether he would have killed Waters in that moment, with his bare hands. "I can't lose control! Don't you understand, you stupid little man? If I let go, if I let myself become THAT again, I could kill you all!"

The Professor shrugged. "I will take that risk!" Dick let out a guttural cry and the Doctor stared at the burning hut, agonised. The Professor glared, taking hold of the Doctor's chin painfully and forcing him to look at him. "You don't have any choice, Doctor. You do not act and he dies. You want to save his worthless life? Then go ahead. Show me what you can do."

There was another terrified cry from the inferno before them and then, the Doctor was horrified to hear a small whimper from inside. Dick was reciting a prayer, the only comfort he had left. It crushed the Doctor to hear him.

"_Our father, who art in Heaven. Hallowed be thy name..."_

The Doctor knew he couldn't wait a second longer. He would not leave this good man to his fate, the one man who had tried to show him any friendship since this whole nightmare had begun. Dick would die a horrible death, burned alive as everyone stood by and watched and the Doctor could not deal with that guilt. He closed his eyes, allowing the tears to fall down his cheeks, knowing what he was about to let happen. He could feel the Time Lord Victorious waiting there, deep inside, ready to be unleashed. With a heavy heart, he concentrated, knowing he was about to lose his control. He drew the power from deep inside of him, felt it climbing up inside of him, taking him over and then, he was lost.

When he snapped open his eyes, they were flaming red. With a cry, he pulled free of Saunders and Mark and the two men were sent hurtling through the air by the unseen force. The Professor backed away quickly, watching the Doctor's actions intently. The Doctor gazed back at him and then turned his attention to the fire before him and the still whisperings of the tormented man stuck in it's belly. Standing tall, the Doctor held his hands outstretched before him and closed his eyes again, using his entire strength, everything he had inside of him was forced against that locked door, battering it as he attempted to throw it off of its hinges. Slowly, the door came loose and a few seconds later, the Doctor screamed his anger as it was tossed uselessly away, missing the fallen Saunders by inches.

With a cry of fury, the Doctor rushed forward, pulling off his robe as he ran, now the pain coming from his beaten ankles completely ignored. He raced into the wrecked building, naked and furious, ignoring the heat surrounding him. He was burned badly by the flames and he was choked by the smoke, yelling out his outrage and agony. Still though, he went on, single minded and intent on saving the one man who had aided him. The Time Lord Victorious did not fail,_ would not fail_. This time, he would win. Coughing madly and preventing himself from bursting into flames only by the power of his mind, he finally saw Dick, barely conscious and moving pitifully. His lips were still moving and though the Doctor couldn't hear him, he knew the poor man was still stating his last prayer, still pleading with his God for help.

"Don't worry, Dick." The Time Lord Victorious hissed. "God has answered. Your Lord is here."

Peterson gazed up, breathing hard, his eyes as huge as sauces as he stared up at the Time Lord standing over him. The Doctor grabbed at Dick, throwing the robe around the other man's shoulders. He held him close to him and began to drag him back towards the door. Every time Dick could feel the flames near him, the Doctor waved a hand and they vanished. Dick could almost sense the incredible power radiating off of the Doctor. Here was a man who could control fire. Dick was awestruck. At last, he felt grass at his feet and knew they were out. In seconds, the Doctor had released Dick and both men fell to the ground outside the flaming barn.

Mark stepped forward cautiously and the Doctor glared at him. Mark didn't move. He wasn't stupid. He wasn't ready to take another flying trip. He looked questionably at Waters and the Professor nodded, stepping forward beside him. They both had guns in their hands and a slave each standing beside them. They pointed their weapons at the slaves, making their intentions clear.

The Professor smiled.

"Doctor?" He asked, politely.

The Time Lord saw what an atrocity the men were about to perform, just to prove they were in charge and not him. He again saw the terrible insanity in Waters' eyes and knew he would kill all those servants just to prove a point, to reaffirm his power over the stronger alien. The Doctor swallowed hard. He knew he would never be able to control the power enough to save every single slave before they pulled their triggers. It was over. He closed his eyes, willing himself to calm down, to allow the Time Lord Victorious to retreat once more.

Finally, the red mist left him and he could see properly again. He was free. With a gasp, he collapsed to his knees with a pained cry, landing clumsily beside the whimpering Dick. The Doctor lay there, his body wracked with shame at what he had just become. Not only had he lost control again but he had allowed Waters to command him, he had become the slave. He was nothing more now than these men's pet. And he couldn't fight them, not now. He cringed when he felt a hand touch his and he opened one eye nervously. He saw Dick, crouching beside him, reaching out to grasp his hand.

"Thank you, my friend." Dick mumbled and the Doctor squeezed the human's hand in response.

Their little moment was rudely interrupted when the Professor grabbed Dick forcefully and dragged him roughly to his feet, gripping him tightly. Dick was helpless in his bruising grip. He could only moan from the pain. Waters shook Dick viciously and leaned in closer. "I suggest you listen to me now, boy. I know you have befriended that freak of nature, bringing him glasses of water, comforting him. You work for me, understand? I catch you disobeying me again or even talking to the Doctor again without my permission, the next fire I set will be on your own house, while your family are inside." He shook him again. "And I will make you watch before I kill you too." He pushed Dick away from him and the other man just managed to keep his footing. "Do I make myself clear, Peterson?"

Dick could do nothing but nod grimly. What choice did he have?

The Professor glowered at Dick but seemed satisfied with his response. With a smile, the cruel man moved to stand in front of the crumpled Doctor. He was slumped on the ground, utterly exhausted, eyes tightly closed.

"Excellent demonstration, Doctor." The Professor taunted him. "A very good effort, I am most impressed."

The Doctor opened his eyes feebly, stared up at the Professor and blinked. He was so devastated, so tired, he couldn't bring himself to reply.

"Take him back to the house, Mark."

Mark smirked, hurling the Doctor to his feet and giving him a vicious shove. The Time Lord was far to weak to object. He went along with the cruel human quite obediently, only pausing for a second to give Dick an apologetic glance. Dick didn't respond, he couldn't take the chance anymore. Everything was very clear. If he attempted to help the Doctor again, the Professor would murder his family.

He had no choice now. He had to obey.

Dick hovered for a moment, watching the Doctor and Mark disappearing into the darkness, angry that Mark didn't even give the Doctor his coat and the chance to cover himself. Soon, Dick could no longer see them as they were no longer illuminated by the fire still flaming behind them as they made their way back to the mansion. Dick looked towards Waters questionably, wondering what his next move would be.

Waters scoffed nastily before addressing his former loyal servant. "Go back to the house. I want the laboratory and the Doctor prepared for me upon my return. Any mistakes Dick and I will hold you responsible. I am assuming you can work out what would happen then?"

Dick flinched and looked down at the ground. He nodded solemnly.

"Good," The Professor sneered. "Now go." He snapped his fingers to two of his slaves "You! Help him. The rest of you can go. Return to your duties."

The slaves fell over themselves in their hurry to obey their master and without another word, Dick turned on his heel and, allowing himself to be supported, he and his companions followed the Doctor and Mark back to the house. Unbeknownst to the Professor, Dick covered his face with his hands, hoping to stop the tears that were threatening to spill as the enormity of his ordeal struck him. He had almost been burned alive by a man he had once loved like a father. Dick had never been in so much despair. How could he abandon the Doctor now? Just after the man had risked everything to save his life, had risked his very soul? He knew what it had taken for the Doctor to do that, all for him. But, at the same time, he would not risk the lives of his family, of his tiny children. As he walked, all he asked himself repeatedly was: _Just what was the right thing to do?_

The Professor was pleasantly unaware of his servant's struggles. For him, everything was going swimmingly.

Hands clasped behind his back proudly, he nodded to the man waiting opposite him, waiting for instructions.

"Saunders," Waters barked; "Fetch my driver, please. Tell him to prepare my carriage. We have one more test to carry out and then, I will wish to leave at once."

Saunders grinned excitedly.

"Sir, is this final matter still to be my honour to perform?"

The Professor nodded. "Oh yes. I believe the Doctor's reactions to you carrying out the final test on him will be most enlightening."

Saunders smirked, rubbing his hands together in anticipation. "Good."

The Professor seemed amused. "And when the tests are complete, all will be ready for us to leave this place." He placed a hand on Saunders shoulder. "I am grateful for all your efforts, Mr. Saunders."

Saunders looked intently at the other man. The Professor certainly appeared in an uncharacteristically buoyant mood right then, perhaps even giddy. Saunders decided now was the time to once again bring up a matter that had never been too far from his mind.

"Sir, once the final experiment is over, will I then have completed my agreement with you?"

The Professor eyed him. "Yes," he answered.

"And then, you will be so kind as to keep your part in the matter?" He swallowed nervously. "I will receive my payment as promised?"

The Professor smiled. "Of course, Benjamin. I am a man of my word."

Saunders smiled happily. "Thank you, Professor.

Waters nodded in return, turned back to his mansion and clasped his hands together. "We are nearly there now," he whispered, more to himself than to Saunders. "Soon, it will be time."

"Time for what?" Saunders inquired.

"Time for my esteemed former colleagues to eat their words."

**TBC**


End file.
